死ぬまでドキドキしたいわ

🐇🐈🕊🐸🦌🦉🐟🦇🦢🐧🦋🐺

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So, 5 years ago in Grand Rapids, MI, a body from the neck down was found dumped in a park after a man went to meet someone from Craigslist. His pregnant girlfriend was missing. This is why we don’t meet people off CL, folks.

The police managed to figure out who did it within a few days, but the guy fled, there was a high speed chase the wrong way down the highway, crashed his car, and shot himself in the face before they could get him in custody. Pregnant girlfriend dead in the trunk.

There were a lot of unanswered questions. Like where was the head? His skull was found last week, miles away from where the body had been found, so the story has been back in the news recently, and a friend noticed something… interesting in one of the crime scene photos.

You see, years ago, back when I was with Super Happy Funtime Burlesque, we had an art day where we covered our tits in paint and made prints which we sold at shows. I made this clown titty print as a joke and titled it “Let’s Play Forever.“ We joked at the time of creation that it was a really creepy title but haha whatever. I really didn’t anticipate anyone would actually buy it. I was just painting weird clowns on my titties for fun. Like ya do. #justgirlythings

But apparently this murderer was 1: a big fan of our show and 2: looked at this and thought "Yes THIS is what I need for the kill room. It’s really gonna tie the place together.” I like the floggers on either side of it, really gives it that feeling of if a bot created Stephen King porn.

But here’s the kicker: the murder victim was… 

MY EX ROOMMATE. 

Through sheer coincidence one of the last things SOMEONE I KNEW saw was A PICTURE OF MY CLOWN TITTIES.

What is it like to be a normal person because shit like this happens to me all the time and I just wonder sometimes how most people live their lives free of this kinda chicanery.