Dan Dan the Mattress Man

We are receiving unconfirmed reports that it is bedtime. Citizens are advised to get into their pajamas and remain on high alert

[image description: a user box in pale pink text with a trans flag that reads, “this user doesn’t want terfs following them”. /end id]

this post has been a wild ride for me

Me when I

World Hostage Situation

Make it the cutest man car door hook hand

if jack's video with tommy doesn't tell you that he's the softest motherfucker alive i don't know what will. that boy is the softest animal lover i have ever seen in my life

My cat had access to a device that could launch nukes. She wanted to use them to destroy every major city because she thought it would make me happy. I had to take the device apart and hide the parts so that she wouldn’t be able to enact her plan.

paintedtapestry THIS SCENE

#imagine being a woman reading this for the first time and throwing her bonnet on#racing as fast as she can down the street to pound on her friend’s door#WHAT PAGE ARE YOU ON DEAR HELEN#NEVERMIND I SHALL SIT WITH YOU UNTIL YOU REACH IT#IT IS MOST DIVERTING (via buckyonthelam)

Well, I didn’t see THAT coming.

Still one of my favorite things on the internet. 

get him

SLAAAAAY

i’d like to nominate “being a twink who gets physically picked up by a man and loses the ability to think for a few minutes” to become an officially recognized emotion

Ok but if she knew she was allergic why tf you gonna risk your entire arm instead of just touching it with one finger?

Because daphne was and always will be that bitch