Jeff found a genie in a bottle
Who said, βI can give you anything you askβ
βYou can have your wishes three
And a million more for free
Itβs unlimited, just set me to the task.β
Well, Jeff thought a while,
Said, βI want houses,
βI want boats, I want fancy modern art,
I want tickets to the Met, I want my own private jet,
And a rocket into space just for a start.β
Well, the genie waved her arms and made it happen
His every wish bolted from the blue
And folks all over town grew enamored, gathered βround
To admire the man whose wishes had come true
They said, βLetβs hear it for the man who has everything!
By good fortune heβs been set so far apart.β
βYeah, letβs hear it for Jeff who has everything!
βCause his wishes are only at the start.β
Well, Jeff heard their shouts and he grew worried
He said, βEverybodyβs getting in my way.β
The genie smiled as before,
βYouβve got a million wishes more.
You can even give a bunch of them away.β
Well, Jeff got confused and sorta quiet
βTil he finally said, βI have just one wish more.β
βI am satisfied, so I wish that you would die
So you cannot grant wishes anymore.β
Well, the genieβs eyes got big and sad and shiny
βTil she finally said, βYour wish is my command.β
And with an effervescent sigh, she disappeared before his eyes
And no wishes were ever granted there again
So, letβs hear it for the man who has everything!
By good fortune he has set so far apart
Yeah, letβs hear it for Jeff, whoβs got everything!
Every single fucking thing except a heart