#allhailpunkrock

But you are unable to stop

That sometimes you can be so aware of what’s going on in the moment

See what you’re doing but be unable to control what happens as it’s happening

Rehearsing in your mind phrases that are meant to calm you

Keep you from losing yourself in the moment

And as you go over these phrases

The urge just builds until you are completely and utterly unable to control yourself

You lose

All sense of operation is lost

All that exists is the pure and undeniable sensations of pleasure

Gratification

As though in your entire life you have never known good except for in that one moment

Through that one particular action

But you are reminded in the end that all of it is simply momentary

Control gradually returns

While ironically uncontrollable feelings of guilt, shame, defeat, disappointment and frustration begin to surface

And unmistakable amongst it all is

CHARACTER BUILDING  ;   make your characters home !