→ this is my personal and selfship blog

→ will discuss kinks and dark content

→ ships w/ phainon, choso, & dan heng

→ sharing, other sharing doubles welcome!

-> non-sharing or selective doubles, please dni

→ no minors or antis please!

goodbye all! ✨

your messages made me cry like actually aflsjdkdjs I am forever grateful for all the kind words you have left me. but I did want to address one inquiry that came up in a few anon asks, which was asking for the handle of the user who made the callout post.

to this, I want to make it known that I will not ever state their username. to those who have seen me handle drama through the years (lol), you'd know I believe in de-escalating personal conflict and only making callout posts when I think people are a danger to other writers. callout posts pose a high risk for justice to become punitive rather than restorative, and I'd be sad to see this community go that route.

for all that has happened, I do not believe this person will do this again to someone else. therefore, I do not see a point in naming them.

as well, I ask you to respect my wish to leave them alone. like I said in my last post, I have already DM'd them privately, and want for them to exist peacefully on here.

ultimately, my goodbye post was not really specifically about this incident, but the trends in the community that have hurt me enough to make me leave. so please, do not perpetuate those trends because of my departure.

sorry for disappearing so suddenly. as you may have heard, an anti account made a callout post about me recently, criticizing the depiction of mental illness in a selfship post I made a while back. I have spoken with the person responsible for this callout post, who turned out to be an hsr yume who had sharing issues and disliked that I was so visible in the hsr selfship space. they have since had the callout post taken down at my request, but as you can see, the damage has been done: @/bai-e has been mass reported and censored, I have been harassed, and my handle has been circulated among anti blogs.

I am not the only blog in the xreader/yume community who has been targeted by mass reporting campaigns recently, nor am I the only blog to receive anon hate from antis. this was not my first time receiving hate nor harassment over the content I write.

as well, this was not the first time I have encountered friction over sharing on this website, nor my first time witnessing it. I have seen both myself and others be on the receiving end of passive aggression and harassment due to jealousy in this space. it is, however, admittedly the first time I have seen sharing issues culminate in a callout post and mass reporting.

I am not saying these things because I want to prolong drama or encourage any attempts at "retribution". (if you know who the instigator is, please leave them alone. we are in the process of settling issues privately, and I wish for them to exist peacefully here.) I am saying these things because this event is not an outlier. it is quite extreme, but it is still part of a trend. we have a documented problem with antis in this niche. we have a recurring issue with sharing conflicts in this niche. time and time again, we encounter individuals who are unable to be honest about their boundaries and allow their jealousy to manifest as petty behavior and harassment. all these things have consistently bothered me over the last year or so, but until now, were tolerable.

I no longer find them tolerable. I have hit my limit.

writing and selfshipping mean so much to me. I am sure you all know how much love I've poured into my writing blog for years now, and how loved I've felt on it return. I also have had so much fun here on bai-e for the past few months as a selfshipper. I have seen so many beautiful connections being formed and so much lovely art being created by sharing and nonsharing yumes alike. people here are sincerely so kind, funny, and supportive.

however, between the targeted harassment of dark content writers and chronic jealousy issues in the selfshipping space, I do not believe it is sustainable for me to stay here. I will be leaving. maybe in the future, I'll return to writing, but my time here as a selfshipper on bai-e is over.

it's very annoying to try to interact with people with the mature content label. depending on their settings they won't be able to see your blog or posts at all, and if you are additionally shadowbanned I think your comments likes etc aren't visible. I am not totally sure if people can see my asks. more importantly though, if people continue mass reporting, tumblr might reassess their decision and just decide to delete this blog altogether. I don't want to lose this blog. there are so many nice memories associated with it. I'd much rather archive it and keep it as is.

but truthfully, what worries me more is someone identifying my writing blog and mass reporting that instead. I would be beyond sad if I lost that blog. and of course, my biggest concern is that someone will be crazy enough to go through my posts and piece together my identity. it really is just a smarter move for me, overall, to lay low for the next while.

i really just hope you take a moment to really think rather than letting your ego talk all the time. it’s kind of exhausting to read dog shit take after another when you’re a really articulate person.

I ordinarily wouldn't respond to anon hate like this, and I want to be clear that if you send anything else like this, I will block you. however, I did want to respond to this interesting assumption that I hold the views that I do because I'm privileged. I am going to kindly point out to you that I am mainland chinese diaspora. my first memorable experience with censorship was at a government level when I was a child, and to this day it's something that my family has to navigate. additionally, I have directly experienced mainstream & social media censorship as someone who has been heavily involved in political organizing work in the west. now we are at an inflection point in the western world where governments and corporations are mandating censorship in a top-down fashion, in such a way that I can't help but see the parallels to my experience as mainland chinese diaspora. across all my spheres of life - western politics, mainland chinese news, and terminally online fandom discourse - I see similarities in the arguments that people make against transgressive media.

do you think that political movements such as fascism are born in a vacuum? do you think that conservatism is something that uniquely affects politicians and boomers, but people who are on this website are magically immune to it? do you think there is absolutely zero relationship between fandom trends toward censorship in the online world and larger political trends toward censorship in the offline world? people who are pro-censorship love to make the argument that fiction must necessarily affect reality without exception; well, why not consider that reality affects reality? that is to say - the reality of the world we live in also affects the reality of this microcosm we write in, and vice versa.

lastly, while I have always made it clear that antis don't have a place on this blog, it has never been said as a point blank insult ("ew, antis"). I have always strived to give coherent arguments and rational explanations about my stance on censorship and creative expression when asked about these topics. this is because I was actually anti-leaning many years ago. I arrived at my current position after years of reflection - not after "taking a moment to think rather than letting your ego talk all the time". I would invite you to try to also slow down and reflect rather than insulting strangers on the internet as soon as they post an opinion you disagree with.

maki -> doesn't understand it but respects the game. sometimes your jujutsu clan family just makes you go insane and permanently damages you in a psychosexual way

megumi -> horrified. he's better than your exes but why couldn't you find a normal human. yuki was RIGHT THERE.

yuki -> has been wingmanning for choso for several months in the star corridor. pops a bottle of champagne after it happens

granny tengen -> toasts yuki. but tells choso very seriously to take care of you after she is gone and it makes him cry so ugly

principal yaga -> has a stroke. he has raised his adoptive child wrong.

inumaki -> "salmon, salmon, seaweed" ("but he's loyal, I like him")

panda -> asks if this makes choso his brother in law (you reply: "since when were choso and I married???")

yuuji -> says he's excited to definitely be your actual brother in law ("no, really, why is everyone assuming we're getting married?????")

gojo -> wants choso to call him his papa in law. you call him gross and tell him never to talk to your boyfriend again

白猫 takes on tomorrowland 2026 ❄️🐈‍⬛🎆

modern au baimao (phainon x mao) ig posts ❄️🐈‍⬛

relationship vibes are: exes to lovers, mentally ill 4 mentally ill, depressed but we stay silly. we party a lot, crash out a lot, work out a lot. broke up and got back together probably 33M times. we also have a samoyed and a black cat. phainon would smile more than most of the dudes in these pics!