I AM ALL FIRED UP!!!

Some people are angry with God.

It’s one of the saddest things. Not because they’re bad people for being angry with God. But because of what they went through to get angry with God.

When someone is angry with God, it’s a sign of someone who is hurting.

Someone who is angry with God needs our love and understanding. Because something terrible has happened in their lives. Whether it’s death or divorce, illness or financial loss, whatever it was hurt them. Deeply.

No matter how solid you and I think our faith is, we can set ourselves up to be angry with God. All it takes is an “unless list.”

You see it in the Gospel. Thomas doubts the Resurrection, then launches into his “unless” list.

“Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands. Unless I put my finger into the nailmarks. Unless I put my hand into his side. I will not believe.”

Translation – “Unless it happens my way. Unless I get everything I want. Unless it meets my expectations.”

Thomas is setting himself up to be angry with God. Just like you and I do. Whenever we have an “unless” list.

The only difference between Thomas and us? Thomas is open about his “unless” list. You and I aren’t open about it. Usually, you and I don’t even tell ourselves about our “unless” list.

Instead, we make assumptions about how things have to be. Then pour concrete around them.

And get angry when the world doesn’t conform to our unspoken “unless” list.

Think about it. We cut off friends and family who treat us like that. We quit jobs when we have bosses like that. That’s how miserable it is to have someone angry at us because we didn’t check the boxes on their secret “unless” list.

The only thing more miserable than being around someone with a secret “unless” list? Being someone with a secret “unless” list.

It’s a sure-fire way to ruin any relationship. Including your relationship with God.

Putting an “unless” list into your relationship with God – telling God how things have to be, putting human limitations on the Almighty – is a recipe to be angry with God. Because God doesn’t always do things our way.

God always provides. But sometimes, instead of delivering us from the problem like we want, God gives us the strength to get through the problem.

God wants to bless us. But sometimes we miss the blessing, because God didn’t do it our way.

God has nothing but the best in His heart for us. But we miss out on God’s best, every time we insist on the list.

It’s time to throw some things out. Starting with our “unless” list.

Each one of us is called by God.

Not just in the sense of being called to a relationship with God. The way that all of us are, in that fundamental yearning that each of us have for the unconditional love of God.

Each one of us is called by God for specific purposes (and if you’re still here, God is calling you to do something).

There is good to be done that can only be done by you. Where you will be the right person in the right place at the right time. Where God will do great things through you, if you respond to God and God’s call for your life.

And we know – at least in our heads, if not in our hearts – that when God calls us to do something, God will provide the means of doing it.

The hang-up for a lot of us? Is how God will do it.

Whether it’s because of how things have happened before. Or how we’ve seen things work for someone else. Or how we grew up. Or something else entirely.

We get ideas about how God will do things. And then we pour concrete around them.

Because we’ve got it all figured out. And we can’t imagine how it could happen any other way.

When we do, we often miss out on the amazing things that God wants to do, with us and through us.

That’s why I stand in awe of the man Jesus healed in today’s Gospel. He had his ideas about what it took to be healed. I’m sure that he imagined for years what it would be like, how it would feel to be healed.

I’m in awe of him because when Jesus did something he didn’t expect (who tells a paralyzed person to “rise, pick up your stretcher, and go home?”), he didn’t tell Jesus how to do it. He didn’t tell Jesus what he had been expecting.

Instead, he just received the gift that Jesus gave, in the way Jesus gave it. And was healed.

Someday, with the awful clarity of hindsight, we’ll realize how much we missed out on. The graces we missed. The good we didn’t do. All because we had to have it all figured out. And weren’t open to God doing it any other way.

Why do we do that? It’s a sign that we’re struggling with trusting God. With trusting that God will be who He says He is.

When we don’t trust God to be who He says He is, it’s usually because God hasn’t done things our way. Because we had it all figured out. And God didn’t do it our way. Which feels (to us) like God has let us down. When what has really happened - is that we didn’t get our way.

How do I know this? It’s something I’ve struggled with for years. To let go of my preconceived notions about God, and how God has to do things. To trust God to be God.

So I offer this to you. Don’t make my mistakes (they’ve already been done).

Instead, be open to God providing unexpected means.

And be prepared to be amazed when He does.

Oops it’s me. 😅 There is some joy in planning and acquiring materials for your hobbies, but it does get out of hand sometimes…

Force of habit. Momentum. The rut.

Whatever we call it, there’s no denying that our routine, our habits are powerful.

When we’re confronted with a problem in life, nine times out of ten the biggest obstacle to dealing with it isn’t the actual solution. Mostly, we’re pretty good at sorting out what we need to do. We can figure it out.

But we still don’t do it. Because the biggest obstacle to dealing with it isn’t the actual solution.

It’s us. Our routine, our habits.

It can be hard to see this in ourselves. Not because it’s not there. But because we don’t like to admit that we are our own greatest enemy.

Let’s do something that’s a lot easier. Taking a hard look at someone else’s problem. So we can criticize them.

Look at today’s Gospel. Jesus has just delivered two people from demonic possession. You would think that their neighbors and friends would be overjoyed.

You’ve got two dangerous people. So dangerous that nobody could use the road out of town without being attacked by them.

Thanks to Jesus, now they’re okay. And even if you don’t care about them, now everybody’s safe. Nobody has to worry about being attacked anymore.

And their response to Jesus? Please leave.

Why? Because Jesus messed with their routine, their habits.

But what Jesus did was good for them, in so many ways? Right. But it still messed with their normal.

The problem with that? The normal that Jesus disrupted was unhealthy. And then some.

Why? Because their routine, their habits had created a normal that had no place for God. Or that kept God in the Sunday-only box.

That’s the only way you get the kind of mess that they were dealing with.

It’s easy to criticize something that extreme. But the unhappy truth is that each of us has within us the potential to become just as lost in our own routine. Just as separated from God in our habits.

It may not take the horrifying form of separation that we see in today’s Gospel. But you and I are totally capable of letting ourselves drift into a deeply unhealthy – even dangerous – normal.

It’s not something that happens quickly. It’s subtle. The work of years and inches. Unknowing. Unthinking. Until something goes horribly wrong. And you realize how far you’ve fallen. How far away you are from God.

Our only protection? Our only hope? God.

But making that leap back to where we need to be is hard. Even though it’s our only hope, setting everything right all at once is no small thing.

Our reaction to that kind of seismic shift? It’s going to look a lot like the people in today’s Gospel. Please leave.

So instead, let’s do one thing. Something intentional. But something so small, you can’t fail.

Create a micro habit. An intentional place for God. In every day.

Set an alarm on your phone. For the same time every day. When it goes off, say the Lord’s Prayer.

That’s it?

That’s it. That’s all it takes.

Do that for 32 days. And you’ll have a new routine, a new habit. An intentional place for God. In every day.

When you do, it’s going to grow. After the first one, you’ll create another place for God. Then another.

Not because you have to. Not because “it’s good for you.”

But because it feels so good. And you want to.

You’ll keep doing it. And one day, you’ll realize that your routine, your habits support you.

Because they’re filled, and you’re filled, with the God who loves you.

God is in control.

It’s easy to believe that God is in control when everything’s going well. When things are working out for us. When good things are happening.

The hard part?

Believing that God is in control in the middle of the storm. When things aren’t going well. When nothing seems to be working out for us. When things go from bad to worse.

In the middle of the storms of life, whether it’s death or divorce, illness or financial loss, it’s natural to be scared. When we’re scared, you and I have a choice.

We can take charge. We can try to do God’s job, to take care of things on our own. When we do, we’ll soon find that the storms are more than we can handle.   

Or we can trust God, and get out of the way. Instead of trying to take care of things on our own, we can let God do God’s job.

When we get out of the way, we’ll find that the God who is in control when everything is going well is just as in control as when things aren’t going well.

When we trust God to handle the storm, we’ll discover that God uses the storms of our lives to move us places we never would have gone on our own.

When we have a little faith, when we let God be God, we’ll find that even in the heart of the storm, we’re exactly where we’re supposed to be.

Your best is enough. Fluffy cat is here to remind you in case you forgot. 🌸It is so hard to believe, but I promise you that it’s true.

Thank you to everyone who stopped by to watch me stream while I drew this comic yesterday! 🥹

For many of us, most of us, our God is too small.

Not that God Himself actually is too small.

But our concept of God? The version of God that we have created for ourselves?

Whether we have drifted into worshipping some lesser version of God that did miracles back in Bible times. But not today.

Or treat God like an impersonal life force that makes existence possible. But doesn’t do much of anything else.

Or any other of the myriad of ways that we create limited, weak versions of God. Small enough that we can put whatever’s left in a box of our own design.

But whatever way we shrink God down, what we end up with isn’t God. 

If we’ve got God down to something that we can control, something that we’re comfortable with, then what we’re dealing with? Isn’t God.

The truth about God? It’s in today’s Gospel.

From the mouth of a leper comes one of the deepest understandings of God in the Bible.

In six words. “Lord, if you will, you can.”

To unpack, God is the God who can. Whatever it is. God can.

And God will. Whatever it is.

God will. In God’s perfect judgment. And in God’s good time.

None of which may have anything to do with our ideas of what God should do.

Which is why J.B. Phillips nailed it when he said,

“God will inevitably disappoint the man who is attempting to use God as a convenience, a prop, or for his own plans. God has never been known to disappoint the man who sincerely wants to co-operate with God’s own purpose.”

(for someone who needs to hear this, again)

What’s your life built on?

It’s a question that most of us never really think about. Because we don’t really think about our lives as having a foundation.

Mostly because we don’t think about our lives.

We’re too busy living our lives. We’ve got this.

Truth be told, it’s the reason why a lot of us drift away from God.

It’s not really intentional. It’s because we like to handle things on our own.

So instead of having the back and forth of a relationship with God. We just do it ourselves.

It’s not so much that we’re rejecting God. It’s just that…we’re good. We’ve got this.

It’s an approach to life that works.

Until it doesn’t.

When the hard stuff in life hits us. And sooner or later, it always does.

When the hard stuff in life hits us, we’ll find out if we can handle it. If we’ve really got this.

The damage that the hard stuff does to us. Whether we even get through it. Will all depend on what we’ve built our life on. On our foundation.

At bottom, there’s only one foundation that does the job, that lasts. There’s only One that will see you through the hard stuff, life’s very worst. The One who has loved you from all eternity.

You and I were never meant to do it alone. And we don’t have to.

God’s got this.

Think of the worst thing you’ve ever done.

Add in all of your mistakes. Everything you’ve ever done wrong. Everything you regret.

If you want to be miserable, dwelling on this stuff will do that for you. Every time.

Not that you shouldn’t be aware of your mistakes. After all, that’s the only way to learn from them. But there’s a big difference between letting them teach you, and dwelling on them.

Too often, we fall into the habit of dwelling on our mistakes. Replaying for ourselves everything we’ve done wrong. Everything we regret.

So much so that our mistakes become how we see ourselves.

Without really thinking about it, it becomes our identity. We see ourselves as someone who did what we regret. As someone who makes those mistakes. That’s who we are.

Only it’s not true.

If those are the things that you’re telling yourself, then you’re looking at things from the wrong perspective.

You need to look at things from God’s perspective. If you want to know who you really are.

How God sees things is what today’s readings are all about. God sees you exactly as you are. God sees you as fearfully and wonderfully made. God should know. He made you.

God knows – literally – everything about you. Everything you regret. You at your very worst.

With that complete knowledge of you, you are glorious in God’s sight.

Not because of your mistakes, your regrets.

But because of who you are in your best moments. Those moments when you do what is right, without counting the cost. When you know in your heart that this is how it’s supposed to be. That this is who you really are.

You are someone after God’s own heart.

That is who God made you to be.

That is what God sees when He looks at you.

No more sulking away! Motivational penguin is here to help get you up and motivated! 🙌 We’re going to make this week great!

What is the most precious thing that you have?

So precious, that it’s holy, that is it in fact sacred?

Time. Your time and attention.

You and I only have so much of it. But sometimes it doesn’t feel like that.

Depending on what’s going on in our lives, it can feel like time is crawling. Like we have an infinite amount of time, in the worst sort of way.

(As in the boomer joke about marrying a nagging spouse and moving to [place you think is dull and boring], you won’t live forever but it will feel like it.)

But no matter how it feels in the moment, there are two big reasons that our time is precious.

One, the things we spend time on impact us in more ways than we know.

Whether we spend that time doing something, learning about something, or just thinking about something, it will change us.

Take a minor problem, like a toilet that won’t stop running. We’ll find a YouTube video and learn about it. We’ll figure out how our toilet is different from the one in the video. We’ll go get the parts. Then we’ll actually fix the toilet. And discover that it was easier than we thought it would be.

How does that change us?

Whenever we successfully do something (especially something we’ve never done before), we get a deserved confidence boost. We feel good about it because we did it.

That justified confidence will bleed over into other things.

Maybe there’s something else that needs a little work where we live. We’re going to feel more confident about taking on that project, after we successfully fix the toilet.

The more time we spend thinking about little repair projects like that and doing them, the better we’ll get at doing them. And the more confident we’ll feel about our ability to take them on. Maybe even bigger ones.

It becomes a self-reenforcing upward spiral.

It’s a dynamic that applies to anything we do or think about.

But that dynamic also works in the opposite direction as well.

The more time we spend thinking about how much something sucks – whether it’s true or not – the more everything about it will seem awful to us – again, whether it’s true or not. And the worse we’re going to feel about it.

It becomes a self-reenforcing downward spiral.

Whether it’s upward or downward, it’s all because we invested our time and attention in it.

I bring this up, because this is the principle behind what Jesus is telling us in today’s Gospel,

“Do not give what is holy to dogs, or throw your pearls before swine, lest they trample them underfoot, and turn and tear you to pieces.”

And it plays out in the second way that our time is holy, that our time is sacred.

When we invest our time and attention in someone, we are giving them something that we can never replace. Once we give it to them, we can’t take that time back. Much less give it to someone else.

If the person we’re giving our time and attention to walks all over our gift of the most precious thing that we have? That is an extremely effective way of creating a self-reenforcing downward spiral.

And that’s why Jesus’ warning is clear – if they’re walking all over your gift of the most precious thing that you have, treat them like the dogs and swine that they are.

For Jesus’ 1st century hearers, dogs and swine were unclean animals, to be avoided without exception. If someone left the door open and dogs or swine got in the house, they didn’t make pets out of them. They ran them out with a broom and slammed the door shut behind them.

That’s what Jesus is telling us to do with anyone who walks all over the gift of our time and attention. Don’t keep them around. Run them out and slam the door shut behind them.

That sounds like there’s an easy answer to keeping the dogs and swine out – don’t give your time and attention to anyone.

Except that you and I can’t not give our time and attention to anyone. By virtue of just being alive, we’re going to give our time and attention to someone. We don’t have an off switch.

That means that we need to choose wisely.

That means we need to start with the only safe option.

With the One who treasures our time and attention.

With the One who repays our time and attention a thousand times over.

With the One who loves us more than we know.

The difference seems really small, but for me, there was a big difference between being aware of my anxiety and why it was there (important, but less helpful in feeling better). And actually addressing it as if it was a person and letting it know that I heard it and was handling it. Treating my anxiety as a small, nervous me made me empathize with it more, and in turn, help it calm down because it felt listened to. My anxiety wasn’t flaring up for no reason- it cared about things important to me and wanted to make sure I didn’t drop the ball. Assuring it that I was carrying the ball allowed it to ease up. ☺️

“Go forth from the land of your kinsfolk and from your father’s house to a land that I will show you. I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you.”

That’s how God’s call to Abram (who God will later rename Abraham) starts.

And it is the scariest thing in the world. Because nowhere in it does God say to Abram,

“Here’s the overall plan, these are the progress points, here’s everything you need, and this is your budget (with 50% extra for cost overruns). Have you met the archangel Hannah, My best project manager? She does ‘great nations’ for Me, she’ll be there to help you every step of the way.”

Instead, Abram gets God’s promise that it will be amazing and that God will be with him, plus the first step. And that’s it.

When things like this are scary to us, it says something about what’s going on inside of us. It says that you and I are making the wrong choice, in response to not knowing all the details about what God is doing in our lives.

Because when we don’t know all the details about what God is doing in our lives, we’ve got a choice to make. Even though a lot of us don’t even realize that we have a choice (myself included).

That’s because we are so used to going to worst case scenarios and/or trying to take care of everything ourselves, that it’s become a habit. Something that we start doing, before we even realize that we’re doing it.

We start filling in the details by consulting our fears, by thinking about our frustrations, by focusing on and replaying our failures. And we end up (without ever truly meaning to) with one of the saddest possible outcomes – not doing it and feeling miserable about not doing it.

Which says something else about us – that whoever we think we’re relying on, it’s not God.

Because the anxiety of fear, the anger of frustration, the despair of failure? None of that comes from God.

Instead, realize that you have the power to choose. Then use it intentionally, to set yourself up to succeed. As Pope John XXIII puts it,

“Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what is still possible for you to do.”

Those choices will give you the grace to take that first step.

Those choices reveal that what you’re really doing is relying on God.

And in the end, that’s the only choice that works.

All of us struggle with forgiveness.

That struggle is a clue that our feelings and ideas about forgiveness are probably out of sync with reality and with what God actually wants us to do.

For me, I didn’t understand why I was struggling with forgiveness, until I realized that I was confusing forgiveness with reconciliation.

Forgiveness is the first step towards reconciliation. But it’s not the same thing as reconciliation.

Reconciliation is at the end of a long process that starts with forgiveness.

But the burden of reconciliation is on the person who did the wrong. Reconciliation requires them to own up to it, to admit it. Reconciliation requires an honest, genuine apology. Reconciliation requires them to repair the damage, to heal the broken relationship, if that’s even possible.

That is a lot of work. It takes a very mature, very humble person to do it. Which is why reconciliation is so rare.

All that reconciliation requires of the person who was wronged is to be open to the honest, good faith efforts of the one who did the wrong. Not to guarantee the acceptance of those efforts (only God does that, in the sacrament of Reconciliation). For you and me, we just need to be open to them.

Which means that reconciliation cannot be done by the person who was wronged. If you were wronged, you are not responsible for reconciliation.

If you’re being told to “get over” the wrong that was done to you, you absolutely should. Get the help you need to do it, including professional help. You deserve it.

But know that getting over it doesn’t mean that you have to reconcile with the person who wronged you. All you need to do, all you can do, is the part that you have control over - forgiveness. Because forgiveness is for the person who was wronged.

Forgiveness means letting go of the person who wronged you.

Not dwelling on how they hurt you. Not “what-if-ing” about it. Not replaying it in your mind over and over. Not wondering what you could have done differently. Not letting them live rent free in your head. Refusing to be held back by any of that.

Forgiving someone does not mean that they will ever be allowed back in your life again.

Forgiving someone does not mean that you will ever have a relationship with them again.

Forgiving someone means refusing to be held back by them, by what they did, by the impact that it had on you.

Forgiveness means taking out the trash.

That is why God commands us to forgive. Because God doesn’t want His beloved (you) weighed down with trash.