Was it that my knees hadn’t hit the ground?

Or that I did not idolize the “name” that cost more than my life?

Was it that we rushed this?

Or that maybe you thought you were able to do it and you fell short?

I have been wide eyed-unable to soundly sleep because I replay you over and over leaving.

And I wonder how many times I have to watch you go, in different bodies.

I have never begge a person to stay, so I tried to beg you

All my words were strung together in a sentence that sounded a whole lot like “if you’re going to leave at least say it’s because you’re done”

Me begging sounded like a challenge for you to leave.

The first time a hand connected to my face,

I longed for your dark silhouette in my bed

Only knowing which way you face by the outline of your ear.

Don’t forget your jacket, it’s raining.

Just close your eyes it’ll be over before you know it.

Push me higher!

My brains trigger memories; an intruder that never tried to tip toe in.

I thought I remembered this happening before.

The personal invite (lost in the mail) to be the one that takes your time forever, you may kiss your bride.

And ten years later I still wake in a cold sweat to a soul who’s hands have held every hope I’ve ever had.

Keep out of reach of children

The limitless ones

Keep. Out. Of. Reach.

Dangle it. Make it unobtainable.

“It’s just a chest cold”

It takes time to ever really tell what the ending will be, doesn’t it?

Well yes and no

I’ve pulled out paper and instead of collecting the words I should probably jot down- they fly seemingly farther away from this tip of this pen.

The things I once found solace in, now terrify me.

I’m finding more and more how backwards my skew on things have become lately.