Bad Movie Breakdown

• Britney Spears is high school valedictorian

• Dan Aykroyd doing his best impression of Kurtwood Smith in Dead Poets Society

• Britney hides the fact she was dancing like she lives in Footloose

• “I wanna see the world...like California”

• DONT DRIVE THE CAR

• Karaoke competition??? Where the audience pays money if they like them??? Was that even a thing???

• They think Ben is a murderer but continue to travel cross-country with him

• Pennsatucky’s earrings

• Ben’s absolute garbage back tattoo

• Dave (Gruber) Allen has one line yet gets higher billing than Dan Aykroyd and Kim Catrall

• They drive the car anyway

• Ben has a HUGE fuckin tantrum over not having enough “guy time” ????? Britney still thinks he’s a cute and good guy™ after this??????

• Lifetime-esque revelation that not only is Zoe Saldana’s college bf is cheating on her but is also Pennsatucky’s rapist all by the bottle of beer he happened to be drinking at the time

• “Somewhere over the Atlantic, she pushed me out too.” um gross???

• eddie REDMAYNE’s Voldemort impression

• Maid in Manhattan sequence

• Channing’s Avril Lavigne eyeliner & elf ears

• SPACE SKATES

• Space orgy: it’s an orgy in space

• The unnecessary slow motion scenes

• Mila finds the world’s largest pad to pack wound with

• Bees Don’t Lie

• f e e l  m y  s k i n 

• Royal Bowels

• “I love dogs, I’ve always loved dogs” ??????

• What is the time frame of this movie?????? a day???? and she’s in love?????

• Throwing Channing into the void WITH HIS SPACE BOOTS AND SPACE SUIT!!!!!

• Titus tells mila He want to marry his own mum and she is just like “okey dokey.. why wouldn’t anyone in this known human killing planet have any sort of ulterior motives?”

• I CREATE LIFE       a n d  i  d e s t r o y  i t

• eddie REDMAYNE cying

• Murder whisk

• Elephant man???

BONUS:

• Gender neutral things to call ur partner in bed: your majesty

• Slow motion horse

• Gold is universal currency for no explained reason

• Maniacal laughter

• John Travolta’s changing accents

• LEVERAGE™

• Powerpoint ‘dissolve’ scene transitions

• Piece of cake is still a relevant cliché without any concept of what cake is and why that would mean ‘easy’

• Diagonal camera angles?????

• RATS

• Entire Cilvilisation trapped by a mini-golf course

• “I’m going to make you as happy as a baby Psychlo on a straight diet of Ferbango.” ?????????

• LEVERAGE™

• Language machine’s voice

• Language machine teaches geometry

• Instant-fringe