what do you mean Hawkeye isn't canonically queer?

au where after radar leaves, they treat a patient from Ottumwa who keeps mentioning someone named Walter and it takes the whole episode for people to realize and remember that that's Radar's actual name

AU where Frank becomes a Batman villain named some shit like otter face who is known for his laugh and poisoning people at little free clinics around him.

AU where Alan Alda and Mike Farrell drop a podcast episode right now saying that Hawkeye and BJ were together the entire time in Korea

AU where Gianmarco Soresi plays Hawkeye Pierce.

au where Hawkeye wore a maid outfit every er shift.

AU where Hawkeye is transfemme

au where the surgeons actually all work at a bar where everybody knows your name and the nurses are waitresses and mulcahy klinger and radar are regulars

au where mulcahy get elected pope

au where trapper gets to celebrate the great Boston tradition of getting blackout drunk on St. Patrick's Day

Au where Hawkeye tries knitting bj a sweater but he leaves before Hawkeye can finish, thereby falling prey to the sweater curse

au where they kept ginger and oliver on the show longer than three episodes

AU where Richard Hooker is isakaied into the TV show

muppet au where sidney is the only human