Bad conlanging ideas

A triconsonantal root language where for a given root R, the pattern "aCoCaC" means "a mid romantasy about R".

fell into a vat of toxic yuri

A conlang where the words for west, east, north, and south are derived from the words for "left-wing", "right-wing", "authoritarian", and "libertarian".

A future dialect of English where "69" is grammaticalized into an affix marking a reciprocal verb.

A language with a small number of verbs that combine with nouns to make actions, with the verbs in question being HTTP request methods.

allocutive agreement that marks whether the listener is a man or a woman: binarist, overdone, old information allocutive agreement that marks whether the speaker has a crush on the listener: inclusive, novel, transformative

A conlang, but the only way to learn it is entering a multilevel marketing scheme.

Old Kay(f)bop(t). Reconstructing Old Kay(f)bop(t) can reveal much information about Kay(f)bop(t) that is of no use whatsoever. The modern fedora hat phoneme was formed by the merger of a pork pie hat and a Bavarian hat. The greater/less than $10 suffixes originally referred to 10 cents and there was formerly another suffix meaning “beyond material value” which has disappeared from modern Kay(f)bop(t). The proto-language had dental fricatives which evolved into the faciomanual click (because people face-palmed every time they pronounced them wrong) although before voiceless consonants they instead became a clap (it’s a long story). Old Kay(f)bop(t) was written in English phonetic spelling.

Create a conlang set on the Boiling Isles, with the singular, plural, and witches' dual.

A conlang written in the form of Super Mario Maker 2 levels. Enemy placement, music choice, course elements, etc. correspond to words, parts of speech, and so forth.

A future English where fə- is the obligatory accusative prefix. It originates as a phonological reduction of “the fuck out of” as in “I put down the fuck out of this glass.”

<i> represents two different vowels if the tittle is a dot, like normal, or a heart.

A conculture that can understand ideas inexpressible in its native conlang, because the conlang has no word for “Sapir-Whorf.”

A conlang with polypersonal agreement, but only for statements you’re sure many people agree with.

Make a logographic script entirely based on IKEA diagrams.

Athabaskan languages are known for, among other things, their complex verbal morphology, and nowhere is this more true than in verbs of motion. Languages such as Navajo have different verbs of motion for singulae vs. dual vs. plural animate arguments, but also for round objects, ropelike objects, etc. Not only that, but they have different inflections for going somehwere once, going somewhere and coming back, going somewhere many times, starting to go somewhere, getting somewhere, etc. Make a Cathabaskan language that has a separate aspect for absolutely desperately begging to get somewhere, and then once the opportunity is presented, staying put.

and so forth, as your heart may desire!