In reality, I feel very sad. Not particularly for one reason but I just feel sad. I’m sad that my relationship didn’t work out. I’m sad that I wasn’t able to give him what he needed and what that other girl was able to give him. I’m sad that I felt not good enough, not pretty enough, not sexual enough, not smart enough and not funny enough. I’m sad that this runs so deeps in my veins. I’m sad that despite everything I still feel like I love him. I still hold our good times so close to heart. I’m sad that I need to seek medical attention just to remove him from my heart. I’m so sad that he’s gone out of my life and that it’s because of my choosing. I do miss him so much, but the feeling of love is immediately followed by pain. I don’t think what happened will ever be healed. I don’t think it’ll ever go away. And it’s so disappointing that it didn’t work out but sometimes I wonder if he was forcing his feelings for me? I hate to make this post just about him but he was my whole damn world at one point. And now I feel like I’m dealing with the remanence of what could’ve been.
