The crimson fucker

Never waste your time on people who make your life stressful, harder, or painful. Never waste your time on people who drain you emotionally or mentally. Never waste your time on people who make you dread waking up in the morning or living. Never waste your time on people who make you feel small, insecure, weak, vulnerable. Never waste your time on people who hurt you verbally/physically. Never waste your time on people who don’t make you happy.

If you have toxic people in your life, be it family member, friend, or partner, speak up. If you’re a victim of a toxic person, it is not your fault. Toxic people are extremely good at making you feel like the whole thing is your fault. They’re good at getting inside your head and know how to manipulate you to do what they want when they want. Toxic people know how to make you feel bad so they don’t feel guilty about the ways they made you feel.

It is not your fault.

Reach out for help, talk to someone you know and trust. Don’t be silent. Stand up for yourself.

Those who are manipulative. Ever noticed they have a tendency to act the victim, even when they’ve hurt you?

Those who excessively use passive aggression. “Fine.” “Whatever.”

Someone who never accepts blame, never apologies and avoids making positive change.

People who complain about EVERYTHING. “Life seems out to get me!”

Those who always cancel on you, even when you need them most. (Plus they never show gratitude when you are there for them!)

you tell me that i should have an idea of what i want to do with my life, then crush my dreams when i finally figure it out.

you tell me that i should love myself, then insult me with everything you have when i screw up.

you tell me that i should be happy with my body and then tell me that i’m only “not hungry” because i’m trying to lose weight.

you tell me to love the way i look but try and get me to wear makeup and change the way i look.

you tell me to be accepting and love everyone but shun me when i have friends that aren’t the same race, gender, or sexuality as me.

you tell me to use my words but then call me weird for expressing myself with words on paper instead of verbally.

you tell my to speak up but you never listen.

you tell me to be patient when you have no idea how to be patient with your own children.

you tell me you don’t have favorites but then force me to stop doing my homework to cook while my brother who is failing all his classes wastes his life away on video games.

you tell me to make sure my brothers do the right thing but then turn a blind eye when they’re not.

you tell me that making money matters more than being happy with what i want to do when you’re not only broke, but unhappy.

you tell me that i’m only human, that i’m not perfect, and that i need to calm my “ego”, when you make me feel worthless for being human and making mistakes.

you tell me to lose weight even though i’m the only one in the family within the “healthy” weight range.

you tell me to smile but all i see is a frown mirrored on your face.

you tell me that anger is not good for me when you get angry over the simplest things, causing me to be angry as well.

you tell me that depression will get me locked up in a mental hospital but you do nothing to help me.

you tell me that you love me but you show it in ways that are abnormal. in ways that make me feel like i don’t belong.

i see all of these posts about how you should “love your parents” and “treat them right”, but what about posts for people with toxic parents and family? i do love my parents, i do. and when i’m rich and successful i’m going to be the one taking care of them. 

This can also be used for family members or anyone else .

Your friendship is one sided: You feel like all you do is give, and all she does is take..things are always on their terms, their needs, their timetable-then it may be time from this so-called “friend”

She is resentful or jealous of your successes: True friends will always applaud your success and tay joy in your wins. If they are acting either of these when you’re having a moment in the spotlight, that’s a very poisonous relationship. 

Her needs take priority over yours: You may be having a bad day, or you dealing with a lot of stress in your life, but even still, you find yourself constantly listening to whatever their issues are instead of the other way around. Friends support friends. 

They are possessive of your time + attention: Do they make you feel bad for wanting to hang with your boyfriend? Other friends +family?  Proper boundaries are a healthy relationship, but if they are being too dependent + needs , then the boundaries need to be reinforced. 

They put you down or give you backhanded compliments: Your friends are supposed to boost your self confidence and make you feel better around them. Don’t waste your time on people who belittle you. 

They are manipulative: Guilt tripping and shady behavior are not characteristics of a healthy relationship. If you get the sense that they are playing against you, someone else, or toying with your emotions then they don’t have your best interest.

given events in my personal life, I made a list of red flags showing that one of your friends or several might be manipulative and abusive.

when you express the ways in which they have hurt you, they blame you, yell at you, and make you out to be the “problem”

they get upset for things you do but do those same things themselves, ie: hypocrisy

they treat you differently than other friends, ie: they’re meaner

if you’re always the one that reaches out to them and they tell you that you aren’t trying hard enough if you ever stop

they bail, ditch, or ignore events that are important to you

and get mad at you if you call them out on it

they use you to get things (money, gifts, attention) but never return the favour

they knit pick the smallest of issues and blow them out of proportion

they twist situations where they wronged you into you wronging them

they “team up” with other people against you, meaning they turn others against you

they never say sorry

when other people in your life don’t understand why they are angry with you, or actively tell you that you’re not doing anything wrong, ie: only the toxic friends are the ones that have these issues with you

they use your weaknesses to their advantage to harm you or win a fight

I know it’s hard, but run. they are not worthy of you, no matter what they trick you into believing.

if your friend hits you, for whatever reason, they are abusive.

if your friend makes you do whatever they want and makes you feel guilty for trying to give your opinion, they are abusive.

if your friend makes you feel bad for trying to talk to them about your feelings, they are abusive.

if your friend tells you that you’re stupid, ugly, worthless, ect., they are abusive.

if your friend gets mad at you for hanging out with people they don’t like, they are abusive.

if your friend tries to make you feel guilty for cancelling plans when you had a legitimate reason (like health issues, homework, family drama, ect.), they are abusive.

if your friend pressures you to do things that you aren’t comfortable with, they are abusive.

if your friend purposely makes you feel bad about yourself or makes you feel guilty for the things you like and do, they are abusive.

if your friend touches you in a sexual or sensual way without your consent, they are abusive. even if they do it “jokingly.” even if you’re both straight members of the same gender. and especially if they keep doing it after you make it clear that you’re uncomfortable. (this is a big one)

It’s okay to miss them

It’s okay to miss what you had

It’s okay to wish it didn’t happen that way

It’s okay to to be upset about how they treated you

Ita okay to be upset about it being over

It’s okay to be angry about how they treated you

It’s okay to have feelings about the situation and even about them still.

It’s okay to cry about it even though it’s over, or cry about it even because it’s over.

You can cry, you can get mad, you can express your emotions.

It’s okay.

But it’s not okay to go back to them. It’s not okay to apologize to them for how they treated you. It’s not okay to hurt other people because of how they hurt you. And it’s not okay to hurt yourself.

Please please please I know that you might still be hurting from them and from what they did and becuase it’s over, but the hurt won’t last forever. You’ll heal and you’ll be better.

They don’t deserve you.

You deserve better. You deserve good things. You deserve healthy love and healthy friendships and healthy activities.