I got a walnut brownie brain and molasses in my veins

[actively bleeding out] hold on *coughs* there's a Mountain Goats song about this..... give me my phone. let me just play it for you real *cough* quick

And we love it for that!

#SMALL! PREDATOR!#LARGE! HERBIVORE!

taylor swift would release a 30th special edition of the tortured poets department to block the vampire lestats spot on the billboard chart and within 24 hrs travis kelce would go missing

in conversation about white people who go to Japan and expect their knowledge of anime to culturally carry them, I was once posed with “it’s like if there was a Japanese guy who was obsessed with spongebob and came over here and thought he could get by just communicating in spongebob quotes.” This is a false equivalence because if such a man existed we would crown him king. We’d love him. Americans would fucking love that. sometimes I get sad that this isn’t a real guy I can invite to a party.

Ok the last one got me laughing actually

LET ME WORM AMONG THE STARS

paul refeereno and paul robailiffo should fall in love. get foremanlino involved, call that a paulycule