pretty little time bomb

‘ i didn’t say you couldn’t handle yourself, i know you can, brett, tha’t not what i’m trying to say. i’m telling you this because i- ’ 

‘ –because i care about you, because i don’t want you to get hurt again. ‘

the words stuck in her throat, held back by a combination of her own fear & the bright, hot & all too familiar anger that his condescending words ignited. the petite blonde looked down, eyes closed tighly as she felt claws pierce the surface of her skin as she fought the suffocating tidal wave of anger that threatened to envelop her whole. blood pooled around her claws but, she ignored it, focusing on keeping her features normal and her anger on a tight leash she couldn’t lose it now, not if front of brett of all people, 

‘ yeah, it’s all my fault for being reliant on someone who was supposed to be my best friend, someone who was supposed to care about me, i was so stupid for trusting you. ’ 

lulu said ash she shook her head with a strangled chuckle, 

‘ you know a week or so after i got bit, i was kidnapped by a hunter. he stabbed me & threw me in a well & i couldn’t get myself out. i tried & i tried & i kept falling, i almost made it to the top when i slipped, scott caught me. he saved me. that’s why you have friends, a pack to save you when you can’t save yourself because no matter how strong or in control you are you’re going to fall down sometimes & need someone to pick you back up. ’ 

at his questions she closed the distance bewtween them, stepping up close to him, tilting her head up & curisng their height difference, 

                 “ You can’t prevent people from getting hurt— not even  from DYING.”        He can’t— he doesn’t want to think about what she had just said. it’s complicated, and he thinks more than he should about THEM. & it’s always SOMETHING. She’s so reckless, she doesn’t care… but sometimes that’s exactly who he is, and he never realizes that until something bad happens. He ruins things, unable to handle with care— moving like a hurricane doing nothing but destroying everything around him. Their situation now, being the very perfect example. All Brett can do is STARE at her. Her mouth’s moving, but there’s silence. No words leave her. He breathes, counting each inhale and exhale, his eyes glued to hers. Now he won’t be able to remove this hurt expression of hers, he knows he won’t. But they’re not right. He can’t. 

                   “ You can never expect to rely on me as much as you thought you could. Look what’s happening, Lulu. You don’t know me as well as you thought. Because you CAN’T trust me. You brought this onto yourself by THINKING , and LETTING yourself think someone else could take care of you, or even pick up the pieces you carelessly throw to the ground. “

   Those words hit him, and he wants to stop talking. Now he’s becoming reckless, as the words just fly out of him. Possibly from anger, from the way she has multiple accusations; he might begin to think all these true.

' i know ! ok, i know ! you’re not the only one whose lost people, brett and you know that.’ 

with a sharp, familiar pang she remembers her dad, the accident, the funeral & she remembers brett by her side the whole time, it feels like another life, a life where brett didn’t look at her with distrust and loathing..hate. a life where brett’s hand reached for hers, instead of one where he shoved her away like she would hurt him..again. 

she knows how easy it is to lose people, how one day they’re in your life, close & tangled up together & then they’re just...gone, leaving a hold in your life, in your heart, where they used to be. she had never thought that about her pack though, they had been through hell & somehow they had always made it out alive, whenever they had been beaten down, the walls closing in on all sides somehow, they would rally together & fight back. it was easy to let her fears fall away, to let herself be swept up in scott’s faith, his belief, his strength, the pack’s strength. 

now though, brett’s words were like blows against the shield that belief, faith & strength and her shieled was starting to crack under the repeated blows. brett was right, she had never really stood on her own two feet, especially after she shattered things to pieces. her parents, her stepdad, mason, brett, scott, she had had to rely on them all to save her from e v e r y t h i n g, so sure they would always be there when she ineveitably messed things up & fell apart. life wasn’t a safe though, especially not for them, scott had said it himself not all of them were alive today, brett was right, there was no guarantee that her pack wouldn’t be taken out tomorrow, that mason or her parents wouldn’t killed just for being close to her, there was definitely no promise that she would make it to the end of the week. 

brett’s voice pulled her out of her maudlin, mostly terrifying thoughts and she looked up at him, numb for a moment as the shield she had built up fell apart around her. a million different replies entered her mind but, she couldn’t bring herself to say any of them as she stood there mouth opening & closing like a fish out of water,  

‘ i actually don’t have an anchor, not yet. ’ 

a heavy weight settled in her gut and a rushing, almost panicked feeling washed over her and she shoved down every useless plea, every too late apology, forcibly stopped herself from reaching out to him knowing they were now worlds away from each other, the distance between them to great to bridge on her own. lulu took a few steps back, her eyes still fixed on his as she stepped further away, the distance gaping between them, 

her first thought after everything clears is to check on brett, the shout of pain that had triggered her wolf’s attack rung in her ears & she knelt down next to him, brushing mason’s hands out of the way, gently checking out the wound from lucas’ spikes. his blood quickly stains her skin a bright red & the scent of venom sends a sick feeling through her but, it all fades away as she fully takes in the gash on brett’s side & it’s bad, healing factor or not it’s bad & she’s turning to scott, a worried shout to call deaton on her lips when she turns back to brett, wrist tugged on by weak fingers, 

‘ don’t do what ? save your life ? you’re seriously pissed that i just saved your life ?? ’

every single word hits her like a slap, pushing her & pushing her closer & closer to the edge until she snaps. it’s like her relationship with brett had turned into some twisted push & pull game. he’d give her hope, let her feel just that little bit better & then he’d completely tear her down, shatter her hopes and wreck her like she was nothing to him, like she had never been anything to him. lulu pulled away from him, scrambling backwards; her bright green eyes fixed on his pale blues, a million emotions charged in the air between them, 

‘ well, you’d like that wouldn’t you ?! it would just be icing on the cake, stupid, impulsive lulu got herself killed, served her right huh ? it would jsut make your freaking day !! ’  

the shout escapes her lips before she can stop it, it’s impulsive and explosive but, right now she doesn’t care, she’s aching, strained & so, so tired she can’t stop herself & she doesn’t want to, 

‘ newsflash dumbass, you are always going to be worth it, ok, always. you might be the biggest jerk i’ve ever met, but, you will always be worth it. ’

                      “ THANKS, but don’t do it again??                           I don’t need you — “    Brett couldn’t look her straight in the eye, & when he had— he was     glaring at her. GLARING because she wouldn’t take his answer for     it. She had to have the last word. He didn’t care about his own wounds,    HE’D TAKE CARE OF IT. They were DONE, but as far as things    happened to go, she couldn’t understand the concept of that alone.     This entire thing sounded like a BROKEN RECORD. How many times    exactly had they gone over the same things? 

' really ?? because it looked like you needed me when spike-boy was kicking your ass, he was about to kill you, brett !! i wasn’t just going to stand by & let him. ’ 

her claws were still out, scratching along the floor beneath her. she was vaguely aware of the multiple sets of eyes on her but, the center of focus was brett, his eyes fixed on hers, his blood staining her skin, the growl she could hear & his words knocking her sideways like someone had kicked her in the ribs, over & over again.  she felt a sharp slice of pain in her chest that she knew she couldn’t blame on the fight, couldn’t blame it on anything but, his agreement to her impulsive shouted questions. she had wanted an answer & she had gotten it..she wished she had never asked. 

lulu swallowed against a sudden lump in her throat, pulling herself together to meet his low growl with one of her own,  

‘ you’re right, it’s over, it’s been o v e r. ’ 

she stood, claws forcefully retracted as she brushed herself with shaking hands and she fianlly pulled her eyes away from his, averting them to the ground, 

‘ i’ve got that now, trust me. i’ve got it, talbot. ’ 

the words spill from her lips, detached & cold as her eyes look to the wound on his side, once more her eyes meet his, conveying a silent message, 

“ DON’T do that again. “        He doesn’t need his glowing eyes, or any form        of visual threats to get the message across. He’d  NEARLY died, and she ALMOST did too. She was        going to risk her life to save his, and the  ACTUAL          thought of that angers him even more. There’s a        growl in the back of his  throat, eyes piercing right         into hers. He just wished she didn’t CARE.                       “ You’re so reckless, You don’t even care                         what happens to yourself. Stop thinking                         without reason, or you’re just going to die…                          it wasn’t worth any of it. Was it? ARE                      YOU LISTENING  because I’m                                 serious— DON’T do that again.                                      YOU’RE lucky you’re alpha was                                            there. “

her first thought after everything clears is to check on brett, the shout of pain that had triggered her wolf’s attack rung in her ears & she knelt down next to him, brushing mason’s hands out of the way, gently checking out the wound from lucas’ spikes. his blood quickly stains her skin a bright red & the scent of venom sends a sick feeling through her but, it all fades away as she fully takes in the gash on brett’s side & it’s bad, healing factor or not it’s bad & she’s turning to scott, a worried shout to call deaton on her lips when she turns back to brett, wrist tugged on by weak fingers, 

‘ don’t do what ? save your life ? you’re seriously pissed that i just saved your life ?? ’

every single word hits her like a slap, pushing her & pushing her closer & closer to the edge until she snaps. it’s like her relationship with brett had turned into some twisted push & pull game. he’d give her hope, let her feel just that little bit better & then he’d completely tear her down, shatter her hopes and wreck her like she was nothing to him, like she had never been anything to him. lulu pulled away from him, scrambling backwards; her bright green eyes fixed on his pale blues, a million emotions charged in the air between them, 

‘ well, you’d like that wouldn’t you ?! it would just be icing on the cake, stupid, impulsive lulu got herself killed, served her right huh ? it would jsut make your freaking day !! ’  

the shout escapes her lips before she can stop it, it’s impulsive and explosive but, right now she doesn’t care, she’s aching, strained & so, so tired she can’t stop herself & she doesn’t want to, 

’ no i don’t but, neither do you so, just freaking listen to me for ten damn minutes unless you want to get nearly killed again ? i don’t have any intentions of reliving mine but, if you want to get your throat sliced through again, get yourself dosed with wolfsbane again, feel free. if not, then stop being a dick & listen to me. ’ 

whatever hurt had welled up in her was quickly replaced by a familiar, burning anger at his words and she balled her fists, 

‘ i didn’t leave, you abandoned me !! i needed you & you abandoned me like i was nothing to you all because i made a mistake, i made a horrible mistake & i needed my best friend to help me, to be there for me & you could’ve cared less !! ’ 

she’s breathing heavily once she stops shouting, eyes overly bright from where they’re fixed on bretts & she feelteverything she had shoved down rear it’s ugly head again, damn brett. the beta drew in a harsh breath, looking away from him for a moment to get herself somewhat under control and took a chance,

‘ i didn’t say you couldn’t handle yourself, i know you can, brett, tha’t not what i’m trying to say. i’m telling you this because i- ’ 

‘ --because i care about you, because i don’t want you to get hurt again. ‘

the words stuck in her throat, held back by a combination of her own fear & the bright, hot & all too familiar anger that his condescending words ignited. the petite blonde looked down, eyes closed tighly as she felt claws pierce the surface of her skin as she fought the suffocating tidal wave of anger that threatened to envelop her whole. blood pooled around her claws but, she ignored it, focusing on keeping her features normal and her anger on a tight leash she couldn’t lose it now, not if front of brett of all people, 

‘ yeah, it’s all my fault for being reliant on someone who was supposed to be my best friend, someone who was supposed to care about me, i was so stupid for trusting you. ’ 

lulu said ash she shook her head with a strangled chuckle, 

‘ you know a week or so after i got bit, i was kidnapped by a hunter. he stabbed me & threw me in a well & i couldn’t get myself out. i tried & i tried & i kept falling, i almost made it to the top when i slipped, scott caught me. he saved me. that’s why you have friends, a pack to save you when you can’t save yourself because no matter how strong or in control you are you’re going to fall down sometimes & need someone to pick you back up. ’ 

at his questions she closed the distance bewtween them, stepping up close to him, tilting her head up & curisng their height difference,