Aka a series of smut drabbles cuz :p iâm just a girl⊠I kinda edge u guys sorry
Part one Pairing: Zoro x f!reader
Zoro often gets touchy when heâs really drunk.
Not fooling-enemies drunk, not sleepy drunk, when heâs an awake, inebriated, stumbling drunkâ the only thing he can think about is you.
The way you smelled, the way you clenched around him and moaned his name when he went too deep into that sweet pussy if yoursâ His cock starts to throb in his pants, precum leaking into his boxers as he attempts to calm himself while the rest of the crew is out partying.
And youâre not helping his case at all.
Youâre pretty drunk yourself, occasionally glancing over at him while you talk to nami, squeezing your thighs together to calm your own heatâ and if he wasnât so drunk he wouldâve sworn that he couldâve smelled you. You needed him just as much as he needed you, and that fact made him nearly come in his pants.
He soon dragged you away without further notice, grabbing you by your forearm as he muttered a couple words you didnât pick up to nami.
The second he got you to his quarters, he had you pinned up against the wall as he dropped to his knees, holding onto your hips.
You were a bit shocked, your hands going to his hair, gently tugging on the small strandsâ
He was gone.
Eyes pure black, him looking up at you with half lidded eyes, kissing your hip.
âCanât resist you. Could see you staring at me, made me so fuckin hard.â He muttered against your hip, his nose moving to nudge against your clothed core.
âWere you thinking about me too? Fuckâ maybe I should put a baby in you, make sure everyone knows about us.â He whispered against you, you now able to feel his hot breath on your heat.
He smirked as you arched your back at his words, chuckling against you âso fucking cuteââ he said as he pulled your pants down, groaning at how soaked you were. âTrying to kill me, Jesus.â He said as he pushed your panties to the side with his thumb, his other one moving to spread open your folds.
âZoroââ you mewled, your back arched against the door.
âShh, shh.â He cooed against your inner thigh, nibbling at it. âCanât have anyone else hearing how good you sound for me.â
He ate you like a man starved, you were sure the rest of the crew would be able to hear if they listened closely enough. He palmed the fat on your hips and thighs as he ate you, moaning against you like eating you out was enough to make him come himselfâ
It wasnât until your third orgasm that he finally let you down gently, holding your head in the crook of his neck as his breathing remained ragged, putting kisses into the crook of your neck before he moved you over to his cot, laying you down on it as he loomed over you.
âJust had to get you ready.â He muttered as he took off his pants, springing out of his boxers. âlet me take care of you a bit more, hm?â
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More Thanos x reader drabbles PLEASE! đđ»đ
COCKWARMING â THANOS
đ You are Thanosâ personal cocksleeve. He loves the way your gummy walls stretch around him as you wrap your arms around his neck. Itâs just so fun for himâalmost like a drug.
đ The two of you are sitting on Thanosâ bed in the shared dormitory for the players. Thanos sits at an angle, forcing you to straddle him. As you lay into his arms, he roughly nips and sucks at your neck.
đ As you squeeze him like a python, Thanos keeps his hands firmly planted around your lower waistâallowing you no room to squirm or wiggle. No, this was your punishment for voting âXâ to leave.
đ Every now and then, he violently thrusts up into you making you squeal and moan. And then, right before you approach your climax, Thanos just abruptly stops, reminding you of your punishment.
đ When you try to cover your mouth during lights out, not wanting anyone to hear youâThanos smacks it away, replacing the palm of your hand with his lips in a bruising kiss.
đ You donât even try to pull away from him, and not just because of the tight grasp he has on your thighs and waistâbut because you somewhat (deep down) like it, and Thanos knows it.
đ Eventually Thanos will pull out, watching your gummy-like walls clench around the air. He will pull his pants back up and lay down (and cuddle) with you. You need your rest for the next game, donât you? That, or you were just rudely interrupted by Nam-gyu.
summary | Jungkook has spent months planning the perfect proposal, but he forgot to account for one thing âyou.
pairing | idol!jungkook x f!reader
word count | 4.4k
elements | established relationship; domestic fluff; marriage proposal; love
author's note | My first proposal story âof course it had to be Jungkook! I hope youâll like this one. Editing is a pain, so as ever, please excuse any errors I may have overlooked.Â
á„«áĄ.ÖŽÖ¶Öžđ bts masterlist ( â p a r t âą o n e â ) | ( â p a r t âą t w o â )
á„«áĄ.ÖŽÖ¶Öžđ jungkook masterlists ( â p a r t âą o n e â ) | ( â p a r t âą t w o â )
Jeon Jungkook could not accept defeat.Â
That was an irrefutable fact, not an opinion, and that is how the whole stupid argument had started.Â
"You cheated."Â
You stare at him from across the living room. "I didn't cheat."
"You absolutely cheated."
You set your game controller down on the coffee table with exaggerated care. "Explain how."
Jungkook points at you immediately, as if he'd been waiting for the question. "You distracted me."
A laugh of disbelief escapes before you can stop it. "That's your defence?"
"It's a valid defence,â he insists.Â
"It really isn't,â you argue back.Â
His eyes narrow, and not to be outdone, yours narrow right back. Both of you glare silently at one another for a moment, nobody saying anything, but the battle rages on in wills.Â
"You did distract me." The sheer seriousness in his voice makes you laugh harder. âThen you took advantage.â
You sigh exasperatedly. "Oh yeah? And how did I manage to do that exactly?"
"You kept talking."
"Talking isn't cheating."
"You know it affects my concentration."
"You've spent ten years performing in front of stadiums."
"Thatâs not the same thing and you know it,â he states. "Itâs different. I wasn't trying to beat seventy thousand people."
You throw your head back. "Come on, Jungkook."
"I'm serious."
"No, you're being ridiculous."
His mouth drops open, but heâs still ridiculously pretty unfortunately. That makes winning arguments harder.
"Youâre calling me ridiculous?â he states, unimpressed.Â
"You are being ridiculous."
His eyebrows lift. "You know what?" he says sulkily. "I don't think you're taking this seriously at all."
You blink. "You think?"
"I'm hurt."
"Hurt?â you echo.Â
"Yeah, Y/N, hurt."
"You lost one round."
"Three rounds actually.â
"Who's counting?" You really are losing your mind with him now.Â
"I am."
Jungkook glares and you grin which only serves to infuriate him further, and his glare deepens. Heâs so cute when heâs getting mad, so your grin broadens uncontrollably. In all the years youâd been dating, youâve managed to learn every expression he has.
You know when he's genuinely annoyed, when he's exhausted or overwhelmed, and even when heâs pretending to be angry because he thinks it'll help him win an argument. This is definitely the third one, his twitching lip gives that away as he tries not to smile and ends up failing miserably.Â
"You think this is funny?" he asks.Â
"A little, yeah."
His glare finally breaks, the corners of his mouth turning upward. "There is something deeply wrong with you."
"You love me,â you chime.Â
"Unfortunately."
You gasp, reclining in mock horror, one hand to your chest. "Unfortunately?"
"I said what I said."
"You take it back, Koo."
"No."
"Take it back."
"I will not," he retorts stubbornly.Â
You grab a throw pillow and watch his doe eyes widen with awareness immediately. âDonât you dare!â he warns.Â
The pillow hits him square in the chest, and the resulting sound is embarrassingly dramatic. "Violence, really?" he muses theatrically.Â
"Oh, please,â you say with a dismissive wave of your hand.Â
"Violence in my own home, Y/N,â he tuts. âI expected better of you.â
"Itâs our home, Koo," you correct him with a smile.Â
He gives the smallest pause, the smile on his face softer now. "Our home,â he repeats, and the way he says it makes your heart swell.Â
You try not to react, but you know he sees all the things you donât say, the things you donât even realise youâre feeling. His gaze lingers on you for a second too long, and the room quietens around you.Â
"You still cheated,â Jungkook says suddenly.Â
You groan, and the moment evaporates instantly. "Youâre unbelievable."
"I know."
"You ruined the nice moment.â
"What nice moment?"
You point at him. "Exactly."
When he laughs, itâs the kind of laugh that you love the most. Deep and genuine, full of warmth and sincerity. The kind itâs hard not to join in with. When he looks at you, it feels like heâs looking at you differently, but you canât quite put your finger on how or why. His eyes linger on you as if heâs really taking in the curve of your smile, how you tuck your legs beneath yourself when you sit and wrinkle up your nose when youâre trying not to laugh.Â
Youâve been noticing the strange, thoughtful looks heâs been giving you for months now. How heâll glance at you during conversations and then disappear into his own head, brushing it off whenever you questioned him about it. Your suspicions have definitely been raised.Â
"Earth to Jungkook," you say, snapping your fingers.Â
His eyes refocus. "Huh âwhat?"
âYou were miles away,â you tell him. âIâd love to know where.â
He laughs. "I don't know what you're talking about."
You shoot him a look, and his expression instantly turns far too innocent, which means he's definitely lying. "You donât trust me,â he says, pouting again. âIâm hurt, Y/N.â
"You'll survive,â you say firmly.Â
"I might not."
"You will."
Jungkookâs hand reaches out suddenly and before you can react, he catches your wrist gently. The movement silences both of you, because somehow after all these years, simple things still affect you. The warmth of his hand, the graze of his fingers against your skin and the way his eyes soften automatically when heâs touching you. As if affection is his default setting and loving you is instinct.
He looks at your intertwined hands, and something flashes in his eyes that is gone almost immediately. You don't know what it means, only that it makes your heart skip a beat.Â
"Now youâre miles away," he says quietly. âWhatâs on your mind?â
He knows you even more than you know yourself. "You started this,â you tell him evasively.Â
"I know."Â
The smile that follows is absolutely devastating âthe sort of smile that should honestly come with a warning label. You narrow your eyes and he laughs, the moment dissolving.Â
"Shall we order dinner?" he asks. "It's almost seven."
You smile inwardly. No matter what went on, Jungkookâs stomach never had a day off. It worked with military precision, you could set your watch by it. You check the clock and raise an eyebrow. "When did that happen?"
"I don't know,â he says, âI guess we both lost track of time.â
He releases your hand and you grimace as the space feels colder. You arenât subtle because Jungkook picks up your expression. He smirks knowingly before standing up and stretching. The hem of his shirt lifts slightly to reveal those glorious abs you loved to run your hands over.Â
You look away immediately, but youâre too slow. Jungkook catches you, his grin growing. The man was seriously impossible. You flush.Â
"Don't start,â you tell him.Â
"I didn't say anything,â he says defensively, looking only too entirely pleased with himself. It only strengthens your belief that he deserved to lose all three rounds. Perhaps four, on principle alone.Â
"I'm ordering food,â Jungkook says. "What do you want?"
"You know what I want."
He bites his lip, the tip of his tongue flicking out over the silver of his lip ring. Your stomach does somersaults. "Hmm, maybeâŠâ he says teasingly.Â
âKoo!â you exclaim. If he was going to do this now, you werenât sure your resistance would be up to scratch. It hardly ever was.Â
âWhat?â he says, feigning yet more of that cutesy innocence. âI always know what you get from the Chinese."
You roll your eyes. "Then why ask?"
"See?â he says pointedly. ââThis is why we argue."
"We argue because you're dramatic,â you respond, all flustered now.Â
"We argue because you're impossible,â he hits back quickly.Â
"We argue because you're too competitive.âÂ
"We argue because you're cute."
The words leave his mouth so effortlessly, as if he hasnât got a clue what they do to you. Your brain stalls completely. Jungkook freezes, realizing what he said, his expression sheepishly shy.Â
Suddenly youâre the one smiling. "You think I'm cute?"
"I take it back."
"Too late."
"I take it back."
"You can't."
"I absolutely can."
"Nope,â you insist. âThemâs the rules. Youâve said it now.â
He groans dramatically, and you chuckle. Despite all the teasing and bickering, the endless back and forth, you feel that familiar certainty that settles in your chest whenever you look at him. No matter how many arguments you have about games, food, movies, laundry, or whose turn it is to do literally anything, home has somehow become a person, and that person is standing in your kitchen pretending not to blush.
You don't notice the way Jungkook watches you afterward. The way his expression changes as his hand briefly slips into his pocket to touch something hidden there that heâs been carrying around for weeks. Something that suddenly feels much heavier than before, because when he looks at you smiling at him from across the room, his carefully planned proposal becomes infinitely more terrifying.
The cold war lasts exactly five minutes and twenty-two seconds, not that you're counting. You are absolutely counting, but only because Jungkook is being ridiculous. The two of you sit at opposite ends of the couch while waiting for dinner to arrive, both pretending to be deeply invested in your phones.
A heavy, intentional silence hangs between you. The kind that says I'm not talking to you first.
You glance up to see Jungkook scrolling, his face completely neutral âsuspiciously neutral. You look back at your phone and a few seconds pass.Â
Then out of the blue, a cushion hits your shoulder. You stare at it and slowly turn your head. Jungkook is still looking at his phone, scrolling and pretending he had nothing to do with it.Â
"You missed,â you announce.Â
He stills for a second. âI don't know what you're talking about."
"You threw a cushion at me."
"You have no proof of that."
You canât help but laugh. "There is literally a cushion in my lap."
"It could've fallen,â he shrugs.Â
"Across the room?"
"Gravity works in mysterious ways."
You huff and shake your head, while Jungkook's shoulders shake suspiciously. And just like that, the cold war is over. Dinner arrives ten minutes later. By then you're both squeezed into the same corner of the couch again, arguing over what movie to watch, which feels much more normal.
"Oh no,â he says. âDefinitely not that one."
"Why not?"
"You cry every time, Y/N,â he says. âI end up having to dry clean shirts covered in mascara repeatedly.â
"That is so not true." Jungkook turns to look at you with a pierced eyebrow arched and you lose confidence. "Not every time."
"You cried last week,â he reminds you. "You cried because the dog found its owner."
"It was emotional."
"The dog was missing for fifteen minutes."
"That's fifteen minutes too long."
He starts laughing and you shove his shoulder. He barely moves. Years of boxing and working out have made that a one-sided contest.
"You're mean,â you sulk.Â
"But you still want me."
"There you go again."
"There I go again."
The smile he gives you is so soft that it still catches you off guard regardless of how many years have passed or however many times youâve seen it.Â
The movie ends up forgotten entirely, mostly because Jungkook keeps talking through it. Then you keep talking through it. Then neither of you remembers what's happening anymore and the TV becomes background noise, a soundtrack to a conversation that wanders aimlessly through a dozen different topics. A funny comment he saw online, a song that's been stuck in his head, a trip that the two of you keep promising you'll take when schedules calm down or the latest tattoo idea he's considering.
Halfway through explaining it, he notices your expression change. "What?" he asks.Â
You hesitate. "You know you say that every time,â you tell him. âYou say one more tattoo."
His mouth falls open. "You're making things up."
"Koo, you've said it at least ten times before."
His betrayal is immediate. "Whose side are you on?"
"Reality's."
The offended noise he makes nearly sends you into another fit of laughter. You love him so much, like something your heart learned years ago and never forgot. Perhaps that's what love becomes after enough time; certainty that settled into your bones and stayed there ingrained within you.Â
Across from you, Jungkook is still arguing his case in the typical Jungkook way. He looks unbelievably adorable still, and your heart flutters. Damn him. After all these years, he can still make you feel sixteen, twenty-six and eighty-six all at once. The words linger on the tip of your tongue, but you donât say anything. Suddenly bursting out with telling him how much you love him feels embarrassingly vulnerable.
But as ever, Jungkook reads you like a book and apparently your silence speaks some coded language he understands perfectly. He reaches out and hooks a finger around yours, and the gesture makes you ache.Â
"You okay?" he asks gently. Itâs always gentle and tender when itâs you.Â
You nod. "Yeah."
He studies you for another second as if making sure, before he nods too, satisfied. The movie continues playing in the background, and for a little while, everything is perfect. Until Jungkook's phone rings. The second he sees the screen, he sits up straighter, and you bristle instantly, your senses on alert.Â
"Who is it?"
"It's not important."
Now you're definitely suspicious, and as the phone keeps vibrating, Jungkookâs panic grows visibly. You watch, and he watches you watching him. The phone rings off and then on again. Then, in a move so obvious it's honestly insulting, he places the phone face down.Â
"You're hiding something,â you state.Â
His eyes widen. "No, Y/N."
"Then let me see."
"No."
Now you're sitting upright too. His face tells you he thinks heâs made a mistake. Youâve seen that face many times, usually right before he loses an argument. "It's not what you think."
"I don't even know what I think."
The phone starts ringing again and Jungkook looks ready to launch himself through the nearest window. You burst into a fit of giggles which somehow makes him look even more distressed. That's when you come to a strange realisation. Jungkook is many things âcompetitive, stubborn, playful and sometimes dramatic.Â
But he isn't secretive ânot with you. The nervousness you're seeing now feels different, and concern fleets through your chest. You needed to trust him âand you did. "Hey."
His eyes lift and you reach for his hand. The tension in his shoulders eases a little, just from you touching him. "Is everything okay?"
Jungkook looks down, and when he finally looks up again, you see something unreadable lingering in his eyes. âYeah, everything's okay."
Your concern eases, but not entirely because that look remains for a moment longer. When his phone rings again you both jump and the spell breaks instantly.Â
"Answer it,â you tell him.Â
"I don't want to."
"It might be important."
"It isnât."
The phone continues vibrating relentlessly and you squint. "Who is it?"
"No one."
"That's not an answer."
"It is technically an answer."
You lunge at him, although youâre not seriously trying to take his phone. Jungkook reacts like someone defending nuclear codes. The man practically tackles the phone first.
"Koo!" you yell. âLet me see!â
âNo!â
You laugh so hard you're barely functional. He's laughing too now, although his sounds slightly hysterical. Eventually he answers the phone, but only because he has no choice.
"Hello?"Â
The glare he sends whoever is on the other end could melt steel. You hear a voice, but itâs too faint to understand. Jungkook's eyes dart toward you and thereâs a pause, and he curses under his breath before his face turns bright red.
"What?"
He points at you, as though you're somehow responsible. The person on the phone says something else and now Jungkook looks like he's considering murder. A few moments later, the call ends and the room falls silent.Â
"That was so suspicious,â you say. "Why are you blushing?"
His hand flies to his face and you grin. "I'm warm."
"It's winter."
"I'm still warm."
You laugh and despite his obvious embarrassment, a smile tugs at Jungkookâs mouth too. Thatâs the thing about Jungkook âeven when he's stressed or nervous, and even when something is clearly eating him alive, he loves to make you laugh. Sometimes you think it's one of his favourite sounds.
Across from you, Jungkook watches your smile appear, and he forgets whatever excuse he was about to make. Because all he can think is, just one more day and then he wonât have to keep secrets anymore. Then he can finally ask the question that's been living in his chest for months.
Then if heâs lucky, youâll say yes âand the thought terrifies him far more than performing in front of a stadium ever could.
The next morning, Jungkook is weird. You squint at him over your coffee, feeling like youâre missing part of a conversation or something, because Jungkook is usually predictable in the small things. You know how he takes his coffee, know without doubt that heâll steal bites from your breakfast even when he orders his own, and leave cabinet doors open and swear he didn't.
You know he'll wander into whatever room you're in eventually, even if he has absolutely no reason to be there.
Today he looks distracted. Heâs burnt his toast twice, put orange juice in the cupboard and cereal in the refrigerator. You watch silently. Jungkook stares at the carton of orange juice sitting beside the plates, and then at you. "I meant to do that."
"Sure."
The smile threatening your lips finally wins.
Jungkook points accusingly. "Don't."
"You put orange juice in a cupboard."
"It happens."
"No, baby."
His ears turn pink, but heâs distracted by something else that follows him through the entire day, because by lunchtime, he's checked his phone fourteen times. You've counted because heâs acting suspicious again. The man who usually leaves his phone lying around without a second thought has now developed a serious case of attachment to it.Â
Every notification gets a reaction, every vibration gets checked and every message gets answered immediately.
"You'd be terrible at crime,â you tell him.Â
His eyebrows lift. "What does that even mean?"
"It means if you were hiding a body, everyone would know."
His jaw drops. "A body?"
"Itâs just an example."
"That's your example?"
"It is when you're acting suspicious."
Jungkook sighs dramatically and that's when you know you've won, because he only sighs like that when he's losing. "Fine,â he concedes.Â
"Aha."
"I'm busy."
"Doing what?"
"Things."
"What things?"
âJust things.â
"Very convincing."
"Thank you."
You snort, and Jungkook grins. For an instant, everything feels normal again. But later that evening, Jungkook disappears into another room for half an hour. It wouldnât normally be something to be concerned about, except whenever you try to enter that room to check on him, he appears like a summoned guardian spirit.
The first time, you don't think much of it, but at the second time, you get suspicious. After the third time, you decide youâre definitely going in no matter what.Â
"No, Y/N âyou canât," Jungkook tells you.
"Why not?"
"Because."
"Because why?"
"Because reasons."
You cross your arms and he mirrors you immediately. Somewhere along the way, your relationship became ninety percent affection and ten percent staring contests.
"What are you hiding?" you say, taking a step forward.Â
He takes a step sideways, directly into your path.
"You're literally blocking the door,â you tell him.Â
"I'm standing."
"You're impossible."
"I've heard that before."
The smile he gives you is annoyingly charming, he usually gets forgiven for everything when he pulls that one out. This time it works as usual and you roll your eyes before leaning forward to press a quick kiss to his cheek.Â
His entire train of thought derails, and the effect is almost comical. One second he's confidently standing there, the next he's blinking at you, speechless. You smile victoriously, then walk away, leaving him frozen in the hallway.
"You're evil,â he calls out.Â
You laugh from the kitchen, and his answering laugh follows a second later, full of something fond and sweet that allays any doubt you might have had in him.Â
An hour later, you're curled up on the couch and Jungkook eventually joins you. He doesnât sit beside you, but ends up practically on top of you, because personal space has never been his strongest quality. You barely have time to react before he's dropping onto the couch and pulling you against his side.
You settle instinctively and his arm tightens around your shoulders. It's one of your favourite things about him, the ability to simply exist together without expectations or the need to fill every moment with words. Eventually you tilt your head to find him already looking at you.
You smile and he smiles back. "Hi."
"Hi."
"You've been weird all day."
His groan is immediate. "Is this going to be another interrogation?â
"You earned it," you say lightly.Â
His eyes drift over your face, longer than usual. The teasing smile slowly disappears, and the mood seems to change. Thereâs a look in his eyes you havenât seen before, and your heart races.Â
Youâve seen Jungkook happy, playful, excited and emotional âbut not this. This looks almost nervous, which doesn't make sense. Not for him, and not here, with you.Â
"Koo?"
His gaze drops briefly, and when it returns, the vulnerability there hits you so hard it almost hurts. For the first time all weekend, you stop joking. This feels too important.Â
"I need to show you something,â Jungkook says, standing and offering you his hand.Â
"Baby,â you call hesitantly, unsure what to make of this. "Whatâs happening?"
His smile is shaky but terrifyingly beautiful. "Just come with me."
You take his hand, because despite your confusion and curiosity, and the thousand questions now running through your head, you do trust him entirely. His fingers tighten around yours, and together, you walk toward the room he's been guarding all day.
The mysterious room that youâre finally allowed to enter. Your heart pounds harder with every step as Jungkook opens the door. Then it all makes sense, and the breath leaves your lungs. Thereâs nothing there; no flowers or lavishly decorated scene. It's just the two of you.Â
Years of you.
Photographs line the walls; hundreds of them. Concerts, vacations, late-night selfies, blurry moments and ordinary moments. The life you've shared together so far told through memories. You recognize pictures you forgot existed that Jungkook had somehow kept and saved, that he had remembered.
Your vision blurs almost immediately. "Kooâ"
You hear him exhale shakily as if he's gathering courage, standing on the edge of something enormous. When you turn toward him, his eyes are already shining âand then yours are too. Because now you know.
âGodâ,â you gasp, the sound barely a whisper of a breath.Â
Jungkook laughs softly, nervously, and his hand finds yours again. Holding on, maybe for your sake, or maybe for his, but probably both.Â
"I rehearsed a speechâ" he starts, his voice cracking. He chuckles embarrassedly and you feel tears gathering. "I practiced."
You laugh through your tears. Typical Jungkook the perfectionist, of course he had practiced.Â
"I had everything planned,â he continues with a shake of his head. ââThen I saw you and forgot half of it."
The room blurs, your heart feeling impossibly full. Jungkook looks down at you, and suddenly every bit of nervousness disappears. "I spend a lot of my life being somewhere else,â he says quietly. âBut no matter where I go, or how amazing it isâ" His eyes never leave yours. "I always want to come back to you."
Your breath catches, and a tear slips free. Jungkook smiles softly. "You're my favourite part of every day." The ache in your chest becomes overwhelming. "You make ordinary things feel important."
He strokes your face tenderly. "You make bad days easier." A shaky breath escapes him. "You make good days better."
Now he's crying a little too, enough to make your heart shatter and rebuild itself, stronger and fuller.Â
"I don't need everything." His voice drops. "I just need you."
The tears are impossible to stop now and Jungkook laughs through his own. Then finally, Jungkook drops to one knee and pulls out the tiny box, opening it to reveal a solid golden band, and your world stops. Nothing exists except him, only him, staring up at you like you're the most important person he's ever known.
"Will you marry me?"
Itâs perfect.Â
A sob escapes you and his eyes widen as he stands up immediately. âY/Nââ
You laugh through tears of happiness and the complete destruction of your ability to function.
"Are those happy tears? he asks softly.
Then youâre both laughing together, relief flooding his handsome features. His smile grows, the smile that made you fall for him years ago, that you know you will never get tired of seeing.Â
âKoo?â
His breath catches as he waits expectantly for your answer.Â
âYes.â
The exact moment the word reaches him, and he realises youâve agreed, his expression turns to nothing but pure joy and disbelief. In a heartbeat he has you wrapped in his arms, holding you so tightly you can barely breathe. But you donât care because you're holding him just as tightly.
Both of you are laughing, crying, kissing one another. You can feel him smiling against your lips, feeling the future unfolding around both of you, bright and beautiful as he slides the ring onto your finger where it fits like it had always been there.Â
Jungkook looks stunned, as if he can't quite believe this is real. "I love you." he says.Â
You smile. "I love you too."
And somewhere between the laughter, the tears, the kisses, and the ring now resting on your finger, you realize that the proposal wasn't hidden in this room or in the photographs. It wasn't even in the ring. It had been there all along; in every coffee shared, every playful argument, quiet evening, every hand held, every moment he chose you again and again.Â
The question was only four words, but the answer had been building for years.Â
SHINING LIGHTS : PART ONE ââ choi seung-hyun (t.o.p)
.á. ⊠SUMMARY: idolspark is the newest musical survival show created by yg and you're one of the lucky final ten to make it to the live shows. it's all you've ever wanted but when you meet seunghyun, he has a few things to say about it.
.á. ⊠WARNINGS: none really just some alluding to seunghyun's past but barely. kind of an enemies to lovers setup, mayhaps.
.á. ⊠WC: 1.5k
.á . âŠAUTHORS NOTE: i read a book called survival show and it inspired me to write this. i have no idea how korean survival shows work so im winging it and going off good old x factor, etc. this first chapter is just an introduction. there'll be more of the other characters in other chapters (we have to meet the dancing and vocal coaches still) i haven't proofread bc im tired but enjoy <3
SHINING LIGHTS MASTERLIST
The stage was bigger than youâd imagine it would be.
Much bigger.
The sheer size of it, the thousands of seats facing it just waiting to be filled with people was so overwhelming you felt the nausea start to bubble up inside you. Soon enough, there would be people looking on to this stage to see you giving the performances of your life because thatâs what you signed up for. It still felt surreal that you were even here, walking along the gigantic stage in YGâs newly built studio. If there was ever to be a pinch me moment in your life, this would be it. Most people would say you were lucky but you werenât. You had worked your ass off for years perfecting your voice and dance skills just to be able to have a shot like this. Luck had nothing to do with it. It was all sheer determination and believing in yourself.
IdolSpark was YGâs newest attempt at finding the next big thing. With all the money they had coming in, they had decided to create their own musical survival show. The second you had caught wind of it, you had applied, sending tapes in. Once youâd made it through the first couple of rounds of auditions, you just had this feeling that you were getting in. Then, you finally got the call that youâd made it to the final ten â the live shows. You would never forget that feeling. It felt like your dream was finally coming true, you were going to get to show the world your talent.
Today would be the day of the first show â an introduction to all the idols in training. There would be no performance, not from you anyway. There had been word that there would be a special performance from one of YGâs bands but you hadnât thought much about it. You couldnât. All you could focus on was yourself. You wanted to win this thing. You would play nice, maybe make a few friends but the goal was to come out of this as the next biggest star. It was all you had ever wanted. The judges would be introduced to you today along with the host then, when training began tomorrow, youâd be introduced to your dance and vocal couches. There had been rumours about who it would be, there always was but you didnât care either way. You were just excited to get some feedback from some actual professionals.
âOver here,â one of the producers called you and the rest of the contestants over, waving his arm in his direction. You came down off the stage, eyes still glancing up at the lights that shone down on it. You were barely listening when the man explained that the judges were on their way in to introduce themselves to you. Your thoughts were consumed about the coming weeks, the rehearsals youâd have to go through, the performances â it was all you could think about. âAnd, here they are!â
Finally, your eyes snapped up and you were greeted by the judges. Of course they had gone for star power, recruiting some of YGâs biggest names.
SeVen, Park Bom and⊠Choi Seunghyun?
You tilted your head as you looked at them. Everyone growing up in Korea knew of Bigbang, they knew how vocal Seunghyun was about how he hated these kind of things so you wondered how he had been dragged into this. Surely he wouldnât have willingly signed up for this. They must be paying him a ton of money or something. That was the only way you could see him doing something like this. Admittedly, you werenât even a fan of him. Your Bigbang bias had always been Daesung â his infectious attitude had always made you smile, the way he seemed to enjoy life. Seunghyun on the other hand always seemed quiet, weird. That wasnât really your type of person.
They each introduced themselves â not that they really had to, shaking your hands. When you got to Seunghyun, he seemed to tilt his head as he looked at you, like he was staring into your very soul. You pulled your hand away, shoving it into your jacket pocket. What was that all about?
As the producers went through everything for the live show later, you noticed that Seunghyun kept glancing at you. When you caught his eye, heâd maintain eye contact until you looked away. It was like he was assessing you. You were used to being perceived but not like this.
The rest of the day passed by in a blur. At some point you had been introduced to the host of the show which just so happened to be Kang Daesung himself. You couldnât remember much of it, probably blacking out from sheer excitement. He was just as bubbly in real life as he was in all the interviews youâd seen. He had even greeted all the trainees with a hug, a memory that youâd cherish for the rest of your life. Now, you were backstage, getting ready for the show. It was due to air in less than an hour. Your outfit was on, your hair and makeup sorted, now all you had to do was wait. The other trainees were nervous, some even running off to the bathroom to empty their stomachs but not you. The only emotion running through you was excitement. The buzz of it all made you dizzy, it made butterflies roar in your stomach. All you had to do was go out there, introduce yourself and show the world exactly all the star power you held. Simple enough.
âGood luck out there!â Bom had said, giving you all a dazzling smile.
Seunghyun had been talking to one of the other trainees, a hand on their shoulder as he whispered words of advice at them. He was a pro, you knew that but something about him bothered you. Maybe it was the way he always seemed to be watching you like you were a puzzle to solve.
âYou good?â Seunghyun asked as he made his rounds and finally reached you.
âYeah,â you said simply.
âNot nervous?â
âNope.â
âIntresting,â he murmured and that bothered you.
âWhatâs your deal?â You asked, annoyed.
âWhat do you mean?â He was confused, that much was evident with the raise of his eyebrows and the tilt of his head.
âYou keep looking at me. Watching me. Whatâs that all about?â
Seunghyun was silent for a moment, considering his words. âYou seem⊠sure of yourself, thatâs all. How much do you want this?â
âMore than anything,â you nodded confidently.
âYeah, well, maybe you shouldnât.â
âââââ ââ ââ â âââââÂ
Those words were all that rang through your head as you stepped on to the stage but you didnât let them bother you while you were giving your introductions. The bright lights shining down on you, the roar of the crowd; this is all you had ever wanted. No disgruntled words from an idol would deter you. The crowd seemed to enjoy every word you said, cheering for you. The excitement in the arena was palpable and when you finally got off stage, you couldnât hide the wide smile on your face.
This was going to be good. You could feel it.
After the trainees had done their introductions, the stage was taken over by performances from 2NE1, Bigbang and SeVen. You watched each one with your full attention, taking in every detail, how they worked the stage. These were the people you could learn from even if one of them was getting under your skin already.
As you got dressed out of your show outfit into some casual clothes, you noticed Seunghyun walk down the hallway. Excusing yourself from some of the other contestants, you jogged to catch up to him, calling his name. He stopped in place, turning around to face you.
âWhat the hell did you mean when you said I shouldnât want this as much as I do?â You questioned him, a steely look in your eyes.
He took a step forward. âYou think this idol life is all glitz and glam? Itâs not. Itâs bullshit half of the time. You have no idea what theyâre going to put you through, how theyâre going to treat you.â
âAnd you do?â You shot back. It was a stupid thing to say because he obviously did but you were annoyed, your brain wasnât functioning properly.
âI do,â he said through gritted teeth. âBecause Iâve had to go through stuff you couldnât even dream of. Things I wouldnât wish on my worst enemy.â
âThatâs your story, not mine!â
âYouâre right it is but once they get their claws into you, youâll never be the same again.â
âWhy are you even here then if you hate it so much?â The question that had been on your mind the second you had seen him all those hours ago fell from your mouth.
âTo try and put a stop to it.â
Those were the only words he said before he turned and walked away leaving you standing there. Maybe he was right, maybe this wasnât all youâd imagine it to be but that wasnât going to stop you. Everything you had wanted was so close, you couldnât let his words affect you.
But, they had already taken root whether you wanted them to or not.
NEVER TELL ME THE ODDS : EPISODE I ââ choi seung-hyun (t.o.p)
.á. ⊠SUMMARY: choi seunghyun, a smuggler, bounty hunter and one hell of a pilot takes on a new bounty to earn himself some credits but ends up with more than he bargained for.
.á. ⊠WARNINGS: blasters, injury, blood mention.
.á. ⊠WC: 1.5k
.á . âŠAUTHORS NOTE: okay, here we go. im very excited about this one. i'll be using some of the actual star wars planets and characters but i'll be trying my best to add my own creative, new things to it so forgive me if any actual star wars lore is wrong. i'm not an expert, just a fan. this one is a short one to get it started but the rest will be longer once we get more into the story!!!
NEVER TELL ME THE ODDS MASTERLIST
With his feet propped up on the console, hands behind his head as he dozed off, Seunghyun looked at peace. No incessant aliens chattering in his ear, no crime syndicate yelling about how much money he owed them. Just the peace and quiet of space laid out in front of him. There werenât many moments like this â not for a smuggling bounty hunter anyway. Seunghyunâs life was either spent running away from something or hiding as blasters were shot at him. But, heâd be lying if he said he didnât enjoy it. He lived for the thrill of it. This was the life heâd chosen. It was the only life he had so why not make the most of it?
He was jolted from his light sleep as his ship â The Nova Talon â was jerked out of hyperspace. He sat up, flicking the controls, trying to shut down the beeping that was sounding out through the cockpit.
âBlasted thing,â he grumbled to himself, finally flipping the switch that shut the thing off and made his beloved freighter fly smoothly. His eyes glanced out, focusing on the giant planet ahead of him. Onderon. Not his first choice for a destination but he had a job to do. It was a jungle planet on the inner rim, governed by a monarchy. Usually heâd avoid anything related to monarchs but this bounty paid too much for him to pass up. He had too much debt, too many people on his ass that he needed to shake. This would do that then heâd be free to take those easy, casual jobs he loved so much. He knew the planet was peaceful, under the rebelâs control but slowly it was turning into an imperial planet, sure to be overrun by those tin can Stormtroopers he hated so much.
Landing on the planet was easy enough, he threw a few credits to the mechanics to fix up any repairs the ship needed then pulled the bounty puck from his pocket. Luckily, these things had a tracking device on so all he had to do was follow it and it would lead him straight to his credits. With his jacket firmly on, blasters at his hip, he held the puck out, following the direction it flashed in.
âââââ ââ ââ â âââââÂ
Run.
Thatâs all you could do.
Your feet ached, your body felt like it was going to collapse at any moment. Blaster bolts were shooting in your direction, you had to swerve, hide behind the trees, anything to protect yourself. It was a good thing you had trained yourself in secret, knowing how to shoot a blaster yourself so you could fire off shots. You werenât really paying attention to aim, mostly trying to run and distract them. If you hit a few as you shot then that was a bonus. You ran, swerving yet another blaster shot but you were too slow, the bolt grazing your leg. You fell into the mud, instantly pushing yourself up with your hands. You couldnât afford to dwell on the pain right now. You had to get up and just run.
It was harder now, much harder. The limp was setting you back. It was like the galaxy was trying its hardest to make you suffer because at that precise moment, heavy rainfall began. Of course it did. This was a jungle planet after all. When did it not rain? Your feet sloshed, your limp dragging your foot in the mud. Tracks, you were leaving tracks. Now, it was going to be even harder to evade them. At least when it was dry you had a chance to try and lose them.
Stormtroopers, about six of them, chased after you. Their heavy footsteps could be heard even through the rain. The imperial forces that were trying to take over your planet were the worst thing that could have ever happened. It had been a nice place; a good place. But, like always the government and politics were to blame. No matter how much you, or the citizens had tried to protest, a deal had been made and now they were practically running things. You couldnât stand it any longer. This place you called home no longer felt safe. No matter how much you were needed here, you couldnât. If you were going to help, you had to find people â the rebels. It was the only way.
Your cape billowed behind you, your hood tugged around your head to try and shield your face. If you had been anyone else, the stormtroopers wouldnât care but you were you. An important figure to this planet. They needed you. You didnât need them.
You ran, firing your blaster behind you, not looking where you were going until you were suddenly grabbed by a pair of hands, one going around your mouth as they yanked you behind a giant boulder.
âYou have to be kidding me? Seriously?â Seunghyun hissed. âCouldnât make this easy for me, could you?â
You managed to shove his hand from your mouth. âIâm sorry, is this an inconvenience to you?â
âYeah, actually.â
âWho the hell are you anyway? Take your hands off me!â You demanded, trying to wriggle out of his grasp but he was strong. One arm wrapped firmly around your midsection, the other around your shoulders.
âIâm your ticket out of here and if youâd stop trying to elbow me, weâd be long gone by now,â he huffed as you landed a sharp elbow in his ribs.
âThat doesnât answer my question!â You heard the footsteps of the stormtroopers, their mechanical voices directing each other to split up to try and find you.
âYou got a big bounty on this head of yours, sweetheart. So, shut the talking and get moving before we both end up dead,â he grumbled, trying to drag you along. But, as he did, you both fell into the muddy soil beneath you with a slosh, alerting the stormtroopers.
They came running but Seunghyun was quicker, he picked you up by your elbows, pulling his blaster from his hip and shooting. He didnât think, there wasnât any time to as he ran, dragging you along with him. You shot your own blaster, managing to down one of the troopers close to you. They were gaining on you. Seunghyun had half the mind to ditch you and save his own skin but he needed this money. His eyes saw the Nova just through the trees and he made a run for it. He didnât care at that point if he was dragging you through the mud â he didnât know you were injured.
Reaching the ramp of the Nova, he quickly threw you in the cargo hold, running up to the cockpit and starting the ship. It was a close call but he managed to get it in the air and zoomed off the planet. Once he was sure they were a safe distance away, he put the ship in auto pilot, going back into the cargo hold. He stood there, out of breath, hands on his hips, covered in mud as he looked at you.
âWant to tell me where you were being chased by an army of kriffinâ stormtroopers?â He narrowed his eyes on you.
âNo,â you replied, getting to your feet but as you put pressure on your leg, you groaned. âDo you have any bacta patches or something before I bleed out all over your garbage ship and you canât claim your precious credits?â
âGarbage ship? Garbage ship?â He gasped, bewildered that you had the gall to insult the very ship that had got you out of there. âIâll have you know this is the best ship this side of the galaxy!â
âI donât care about your damn ship! Get me a bacta patch. Now!â
âOh, bossy, are we? You know, sweetheart, it doesnât matter whether I bring you in alive or dead soâŠâ he shrugged nonchalantly, moving to turn around to go back up to the cockpit but another hiss of pain from you cracked his resolve. Seunghyun was many things but he wouldnât let you die no matter how much he acted like he didnât care.
With a mumble to himself, he shifted towards the medpacks he had stacked up, pulling one open and tossing you a bacta patch. âThere you go. Stop getting blood all over my ship.â
You glared at him, pulling your cape out of the way, rolling up your leggings and plastering the bacta patch to your wound. At least now you werenât going to bleed out. It may have just grazed your skin but it was still a pretty gnarly injury. You slid to sit down on the floor, legs stretched out in front of you, your back resting against the cool metal of the ship. Seunghyun hadnât moved, he had stood there watching you. There had to be some reason you had been hunted like you were. Stormtroopers, as much as he hated them, didnât hunt down someone for no reason, especially not some girl.
âYou going to tell me why you were being chased through the forest like that?â He asked again, hands on his hips expectantly.
This man just wasnât going to let up so you relented with a sigh. âThey were chasing me because Iâm the heir to the throne. Princess Y/N.â
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.á. ⊠SUMMARY: it's your first date with seunghyun and he knows just the perfect way to make you feel special.
.á. ⊠WARNINGS: 18+, mdni. making out, fingering, the tiniest bit of dirty talk, a lot of sexual tension.
.á. ⊠WC: 2.3k
.á . âŠAUTHORS NOTE: we back with flower road!! i know its been a couple weeks and im sorry it took so long but hopefully this was worth the wait <3
FLOWER ROAD MASTERLIST
LAVENDER ROSES â symbolise love at first sight, enchantment and fascination. Perfect for a first date.
Clothes were strewn all over your room, haphazardly thrown across the bed, floor and on the chair that sat in the corner. Why was figuring out what to wear for a date so hard? A first date, nonetheless. You were nervous. This was your first date in years let alone with someone that you actually had feelings for. Sure, you and Seunghyun had already spent a lot of time together but this was different. This was a step in the direction to take your relationship further. A thing that you never thought wouldâve happened that day all those weeks ago he had first stepped into your flower shop. It felt like a lifetime had passed since then. The nights spent together, hanging out, talking and getting to know each other. They were some of your favourite memories now. Those days where you felt yourself being dragged under by the darkness, you thought of his smile, the way heâd always be there to listen to you. It helped bring you back to the light. They were like your safety blanket, always stored in your mind ready to be unleashed the second you felt that voice inside your head trying to tear you apart.
âWhatâd you think, Nova?â You asked your dog, scratching behind her ears as she sat by your feet. Seunghyun hadnât told you where you were going for your date. âItâs a surpriseâ he had said but that gave you no indication for what kind of outfit to wear. Dinner wouldâve been easy â you had plenty of dresses for that but a surprise? How did one even dress for a damn surprise? With your hands on your hips, your eyes scanned the clothes you had thrown about your room. There had to be something here.
It took ten more minutes until you finally found an outfit. Seunghyun would be here in an hour so you quickly hopped in the shower. Of course youâd left everything until the last minute but at least it gave you no more time to overthink. After the shower, you got yourself ready making sure everything was perfect. This had to be perfect. The feelings you had for Seunghyun were all consuming at this point. If this didnât go well, you werenât sure youâd be able to handle it. This man had walked into your life and seized your heart the second he had laid those gorgeous brown eyes on you. The time seemed to tick by tortuously as you sat on your couch, waiting for that knock on the door. When it finally arrived, you jumped up, heart pounding in your chest. Your feet carried you to the door, face trying to contain the smile threatening to break out. You didnât want to freak him out the first second you saw him.
As you opened the door, instead of being greeted with his beautiful face, a bouquet of lavender roses swam in your vision. A small gasp passed your lips â they were beautiful. You took them from his hands, fingers brushing against his as you did so. âTheyâre beautiful!â
âSymbolises enchantment and fascination, right? Very romantic,â he grinned at you, leaning over the bouquet, hand pressing to your hip as he kissed you on the cheek in greeting.
âYouâre learning!â Your heart fluttered wildly at the fact he listened to you when you talked about flowers. Not only did he listen but he retained that information and used it to give you gifts like this.
âLet me just put these in some water and we can head out,â you moved towards your kitchen, grabbing an empty vase from the last bouquet of flowers he had gotten you. After filling it with some water, you placed the roses into it, sniffing them with a serene look on your face. Seunghyun was by you, standing slightly at your rear, his hand resting on your hip again as he leaned over your shoulder to look at the bouquet. His breath was hot in your ear, his face so close to yours. Subconsciously, you leaned back into him feeling the hard planes of his chest against your back. His touch was electric, you couldnât get enough of it. Ever since the kiss, there had been nothing else on your mind but this perfect man.
âWe should head out,â he said, his voice low by your hear.
âWhere are we going?â You asked, turning around to face him now, meeting his eyes that sparkled with mirth.
âYouâll see.â
âââââ ââ ââ â âââââÂ
Turns out the surprise was Lotte World. You had mentioned briefly in conversation a week or two ago about how much you had wanted to go but never had the time nor anyone to go with. The second he had heard that, he had made it his mission to make sure you got to visit. Your face the second you stepped into the amusement park made his heart thud against his chest. When you smiled it lit up your whole face, your eyes crinkled at the corner and it was the most adorable thing he had ever seen. With his hand in yours, he had led you through the park, letting you pick all the rides you wanted to ride. Seunghyun would do anything you wanted to do. Besides, he loved amusement parks. No ride was too scary for him. After a few rides, the two of you took a break to grab a bite to eat. All through the date, he kept finding reasons to touch you whether it was his hand on your lower back guiding you through the park, his hand in yours or leaning in too close to speak to you above the loud music and chatter of other people. Each touch was like a spark flowing through your body â you couldnât get enough of it. There was a feeling you hadnât felt in a long time bubbling up inside of you. Desire. It was getting harder and harder to ignore with every touch or longing look.
Now, with a bubble tea in your hands after you had visited Gong Cha for a refreshment, he led you towards the Game Village. It was his mission now to win you something you could remember this night by. Even if it took him all night, youâd be leaving with some kind of stuffed animal. You watched as he worked diligently at one of the claw machines stacked full of fluffy, cuddly bears. Your shoulder touched his, sipping on your bubble tea as you watched him focus. He failed the first few times but after the fifth time, the claw dropped down, firmly grabbing the one bear you had said was the cutest. With a wide grin, he bent down, picked the bear up and handed it to you.
âTold you I could do it,â he said, ecstatic that he had stuck true to his word.
With the bubble tea now forgotten, you clutched the bear to your chest. âBit touch and go there but you did it.â
Leaning over towards him, you stood up on your tip toes to press a kiss to his cheek. His hands shot out to grab your hips, tugging you to his body. You giggled but it was short lived as he captured your lips in a kiss. He moved his lips slowly against yours but couldnât help himself, tilting your head back to deepen the kiss. You parted your lips, his tongue easily slipping inside your mouth. The bear held now in your hand dangling at your side while the other tangled in the hair hanging at the nape of his neck. Your body pressed tightly against his. It was hard not to lose yourself in the kiss, that desire inside you threatening to burst at any moment. With a panting breath, you pulled back, lips brushing against his as you spoke.
âTake me home?â You spoke quietly.
âIâd love to.â
âââââ ââ ââ â âââââÂ
Seunghyun must have felt the same you did because the second the door closed behind you in your apartment, he was back on you. His lips on yours, hands on your hips to tug you as physically close to his body as humanly possible. You could feel his heart beating against your chest, matching the erratic rhythm of yours. Before you knew it, you were on your back on the couch, Seunghyun on top of you, slotted between your legs. Your lips had never parted â only for a breath of air every now and again when one of you remembered you needed to breathe. You could feel the hard outline of his cock pressing against your core through the shorts you had decided to wear. He was just as riled up as you were.
His lips trailed from yours, along your collarbone and down to your neck. He found your sweet spot that caused you to let out the first moan he ever heard from you. It made him press himself even deeper against you, eliciting a groan from him against your skin.
âI want to touch you,â he mumbled against your neck, sucking to leave his mark there for you in the morning.
âThen do it,â you breathed, canting your hips up into his. Another one of those beautiful groans left him as his hand trailed down your side. He lifted your ship up slightly as his hand slid underneath, cupping your breast over your bra. What he wouldnât give to see you laid out naked before him but now wasnât the time. All he wanted to do was please you right now. His lips met yours again, lips moving together in a frenzy. There was a gasp from you when his hand moved between the apex of your thighs, dipping into the shorts you were wearing. He rubbed his fingers along the fabric of your panties, feeling how damp they were already. âThis wet for me?â
âYes,â you whimpered, pushing your body up further into his hand. âEver since you kissed me.â
âSo, what youâre saying is this is my fault and I should take care of it?â
There was a glint in his eye as he met yours, your bottom lip tugged between your teeth as you nodded. That was all the permission he needed. He dipped his fingers into your panties, his cock twitching in his pants when he slid his fingers through your slit feeling your slick coat his fingers. He dragged the long digits up and down your folds, relishing in every whimper that passed from your mouth. Then, he found it. Your clit. He circled the bud with his fingers, soft, slow circles that had your body arching off the couch. With each touch, each caress, he could feel you getting wetter. He used his free hand to part your legs more, opening you up to him. His fingers slid lower and lower, gathering your slick as he circled your entrance.
âTell me you want it,â he whispered against your lips, his fingers torturing you, rubbing but not pushing in. âTell me you want my fingers inside you.â
âI want it,â you breathed harshly, desperately moving your hips as if you could slide his fingers into you yourself. âPlease, I need to feel them inside me. Need to feel you.â
âThatâs a good girl,â he claimed your lips, two fingers pushing into your dripping entrance. He grunted against your lips as he felt how tight you were against his fingers, pushing them into his knuckles. He slowly dragged them back then pushed them back in. You were making the most beautiful noises against his lips, one of your hands tangled in his hair while the other dug into his forearm that was holding him up.
âSeunghyun,â you moaned as you bucked your hips into his hand, his movements speeding up. He was a man on a mission and that mission was to make you cum all over his fingers. He curled them inside you, hitting that sweet spot that made you see stars. It had been so long since youâd been touched like this; you knew you werenât going to last long. When his thumb pressed down on your clit in firm, teasing circles, that was it. You cried out his name, tugging on his hair, fingers digging into the skin of his arm hard enough to leave dents. Your body arched off the sofa, your orgasm hitting you harder than it had in a long time. Seunghyun pumped his fingers, slowing down as he helped you through your release. Once he was down and you were left panting on the couch, he pulled his hand from you. The urge to lick you clean from his fingers was strong but that could wait. He could taste you another time. For now, he just wanted to hold you.
When you finally opened your eyes up to meet his face, he was grinning at you, smoothing your hair back from your face. âYou back with me?â
âYeah,â you laughed breathlessly. âLet me help you out.â
Your hands moved to his belt but he grabbed your wrists gently, bringing them up to his lips and pressing a light kiss to them. âThis was about you. Iâll be okay. Besides, hearing you moan my name like that was more than enough for me.â
He gathered you in his arms, moving you so that he was laying his back on the couch, his arm around your body as your head rested on his chest, legs tangled together. The comfortable silence was only interrupted occasionally by Novaâs snores which you both chuckled at. Seunghyun had taken to playing with your fingers that had been resting on his abdomen.
âSo, good date?â He asked, almost nervously.
You looked up at him with the softest eyes anyone had ever graced him with. âThe best date Iâve ever had.â
And, the smile you flashed at him made him make a mental note to make sure that you were left smiling like that after every single date you had in the future.
synopsis- seunghyun is really testing your limit when he goes out, so you pick him up and teach him a very important lesson.
word count- 1.5k
a/n- i love sub!seunghyun way too much, forgive me for this lol.
Youâre sitting on the balcony of your apartment, wine glass in hand and book open in your lap when your phone starts going off. You roll your eyes. You were trying to have a quiet night while Seunghyun is out with his friends.Â
You reach over to the small table next to you and pick up your phone. One of Seunghyunâs friends has just sent you a video. No text attached, just a 20 second long video.Â
You sigh and click on it. Seunghyun appears in the distance, clearly unaware that heâs being filmed. Heâs surrounded by people, but one woman catches your eye.Â
Youâve never seen her before. Sheâs young, maybe mid 20âs. And sheâs got her hands all over him.Â
Heâs clearly trying to step back, trying to talk to his other friends instead of her. But he isnât trying hard enough. At least, not for your preference.Â
Then, his friend texts you.Â
Better come pick up your husband before he gets stolen.Â
You bite your tongue. And suddenly, youâre on your feet. You donât respond to his text. You donât need to.Â
You finish your wine and dogear your book before pulling on a more fitting outfit, since you were only in tiny shorts and Seunghyunâs t-shirt.Â
Youâre in the car before you know it, grip tight on the steering wheel.Â
When you arrive at the venue, you scan the room for him, and spot him immediately. Some of his friends try to greet you, but youâre on a mission. You stop in your tracks right behind him.Â
That girl notices you first.Â
She smiles, her hand still touching his arm.Â
You smile back, but itâs not kind. Itâs bitter, your gaze narrow.Â
âHi.â You say, loud enough for everyone around to hear, including Seunghyun.Â
He whips around to look at you, his eyes widening at your expression. You meet his eyes, tilting your head a little.Â
âHaving fun, darling?â You ask, and Seunghyun swallows. He knows that tone.Â
âDarling?â The woman repeats.Â
You ignore her and keep your gaze locked on Seunghyun. âWell, itâs time to go. Come on.â You hold out your hand, and he hesitates before he takes it.Â
He doesnât speak. That wonât do much for him.Â
Your grip is tight on his hand as you pull him away from the crowd and straight outside and to your car. You open the passenger door for him and he slowly climbs in. You slam the door behind him, a little harsher than you intended.Â
When you get into the driverâs side, he still doesnât speak.Â
You pull onto the road before you decide to talk. âDid you enjoy yourself, Seunghyun?â
He swallows again, fidgeting with the collar of his shirt. He shakily nods.Â
âYou enjoyed her, didnât you, hm?â You keep your eyes locked on the road.Â
Seunghyunâs heart skips a beat. âI-â
âDid I say you could speak?â You interrupt, and he goes quiet. You hum, and speed up.Â
The rest of the drive is quiet. You glance over at him every few minutes, and heâs staring at you, studying your expression.Â
When you finally pull into your apartmentâs lot and park, you look over at him. He stares back, eyes wide.Â
You just smile. âLetâs go.âÂ
It takes less than a minute for you two to get upstairs and into your apartment. As soon as the door shuts behind you, Seunghyun looks at you. Like a lost child, waiting for a command.Â
You stand right in front of him and place a hand on his chest. âSince you clearly canât behaveâŠâÂ
You start to push him backward and towards the hallway.Â
âIâll have to remind you who you belong to.â You snarl, and he shudders. âGo to the bedroom. Strip. You better be ready when I get there.âÂ
He doesnât hesitate. He disappears down the hall, and you just smile. You take a few minutes to take off your shoes, hang up your jacket and your keys. You stall, then after a few moments you wander down the hall.Â
Seunghyun is laying on the bed completely bare, his fingers curled into the sheets. His cock is already hard, resting against his stomach in anticipation.Â
You stop at the door and just stare at him with a sly smile. âGood. You can listen.â
You slowly walk over to the bed and sit on the edge of it. Seunghyun is trembling, cock twitching against his stomach.Â
âAre you going to behave now, darling?â You ask, and he nods frantically. You rub his thigh, slowly moving your hand upward, completely at your pace.Â
âYouâre so hard already, I havenât even touched your cock yet. Is that how bad you want me?â You test, and he whines as you walk your fingers up to his stomach, dancing around his cock, but not touching yet.Â
After a moment, you take his cock in your hand, calculated motions as you start stroking him. Heâs already whimpering, his hips thrusting up into your hand, chasing your touch.Â
âI still think a punishment is in order, hm? You think you can behave like that and get away with it? You think Iâll just let you cum?â Your tone is curious, but your words make his stomach turn.Â
âTurn over onto your stomach for me.â You say, and he complies. Seunghyun buries his face in the pillow, his cock aching from the sudden loss of contact.Â
You take your time reaching into your nightstand. You grab two things. Bondage, tight straps for his wrists to make sure he canât escape. And a vibrator.Â
You place the items on the bed and strip yourself of your clothes, before you climb back on top of him. You straddle the back of his thighs and run your hands along his back.Â
âYouâre going to listen to me, okay? Youâre going to be good. And maybe, maybe Iâll let you cum.âÂ
Seunghyun nods, a soft whimper escaping his lips. He still doesnât speak.Â
You slowly tie up his wrists behind his back, making sure the bonds are tight enough to keep him still. Then, you grab the toy and press the ON button.Â
Seunghyun jolts a little at the noise. You smile, and start by pressing it along his lower back, then his thighs.Â
âAre you ready?â You ask, and he nods. âYouâre allowed to speak now, baby.â
âY- yes, Iâll be so goodâŠâ he says, his voice coming out strained and desperate.Â
You hum in response, and align the toy with his entrance. His back arches just a little, cue for you to continue. You push it in slowly, letting him feel every inch, every jolt of the device.Â
Seunghyun lets out an exasperated gasp as you push it all the way in, hitting that spot deep inside him that makes him go insane.Â
You donât waste any time before moving, thrusting the toy in and out of him at an unforgiving pace.Â
âAh- itâs too much, I-â
âShh, you can take it.â You whisper, leaning down to press kisses to his back as you fuck him deeper.Â
Seunghyun is a mess of moans and tremors, his breathing is fast and unstable. He never lasts long when you fuck him like this, but tonight, he isnât getting off so easy.Â
Your free hand stays on his hip, pressing into the bone to keep him grounded. Seunghyunâs back arches into you, his moans growing strained and high pitched.Â
âI- Iâm gonna- pleaseâŠâ He stutters, and you immediately slow down.Â
âI didnât say you could cum yet, baby.â You say, your movements almost stopped completely.Â
Seunghyun whimpers, hips thrusting up as he tries to chase release.Â
âP- please baby⊠I need itâŠâ He begs, but you donât let up.Â
You continue pushing the toy in and out of him, slower now, but still making sure to hit his sensitive spot with every thrust.Â
âYouâre listening so well. You can take it.â Your voice is calm, your free hand still rubbing on his back carefully.Â
After a moment of slow movements and ruined moans, you speed up again gradually and this time, you turn up the vibrator to the highest setting.Â
Seunghyun loses it. He squirms underneath you and lets out a loud moan, his fingers gripping the sheets so hard his knuckles turn white.Â
Heâs so close, you can feel it. You honestly get caught up in the moment, and decide to finally let him unravel.Â
âYou can cum now, baby. You listened so well.â You finally say, and he just groans deep as he finally lets himself go.Â
Seunghyun cums with a loud moan, face pressed hard into the pillow. He covers the sheets in release and you keep the toy buried deep inside him as he rides out his orgasm. After he catches his breath, you finally pull the toy out and set it aside.Â
Seunghyun slowly rolls onto his back, still breathing deeply, eyes half lidded. You climb on top of him with a smile.Â
âDo you remember who you belong to now, darling?â You ask, and he grins, hands finding your waist.Â
âI think⊠I think I might need another reminder.â Seunghyun says as he pulls you down, his lips meeting yours.
hii! Ik its a bit kinky but could you write subong x reader where he fucks her in his studio and he records her moans without her knowing and when she goes listening to his new album she hears her own moans???? ( smth kinda like axl rose liked to do, putting womanâs moans in musics
what do you think her reaction would be?
music to my ears
α/n: LMFAO i lovveeee this idea despite being part of the silent team iykwimđ i think this is my first time writing oral sex with m receiving lol? iâd appreciate some feedback. also, pls ignore typos as iâm too tired to proof read⊠love u
summary: you decide to surprise your boyfriend during one of his late night studio sessions and what happens next would break the internet.
warnings: +18, smut, sexual language, unprotected piv, oral sex (m receiving), sloppy makeout
words: around 2.2k or more idk
you hadnât been seeing your boyfriend lately due to his extremely tight schedule. everybody in thanosâ surrounding knew that he locked in once every blue moon, and when that happens, nobody dares bothering him. because when your boyfriend actually puts his mind to it, he tends to produce nice things.
that day, instead of going home directly, you decided to stop by the studio so you could say hi and leave to not bother him further. you had made one stop prior to that where you got some junk food and some snacks so you donât walk in empty handed.
you walked through the dark hallways of the building looking for suit number 230 until you found it and knocked before walking in.
as soon as you walk in, he lifts his head up and raises both his eyebrows in surprise. he takes his headphones off, letting them rest around his neck, and walks towards you with a wide grin.
"look whoâs here! my girl surprises me," he says, pulling you into a warm hug and giving you a quick, sweet peck on the lips.
you laugh softly, holding up the plastic bag. "i brought reinforcements."
"oo, you also got me food i see. come on, sit," he says, wrapping a heavy arm around your shoulder and walking you toward the rolling chair in front of the big screens on the table.
you look at the whole setup, completely mesmerized. it looks so cool in the dim light, the room illuminated mostly by the deep purple glow of the LED strip lights behind his desk and the bright waveforms on his monitors.
thanos starts looking through the bag like a curious cat, his eyes lighting up. "woah, you got me my fav."
"yeah, of course," you smile, leaning back slightly. "figured since you were here all day youâd be hungry."
"damn, you know me so well." he sets the bag aside on the edge of the desk, turning his attention right back to you.
you blink, looking from him to the food. "wait, youâre not going to eat?"
"food can wait," he murmurs, his voice dropping an octave as his eyes trail down to your lips. "i missed my girl."
before you can say anything else, he hooks his hands under your thighs and pulls you right onto his lap. your breath hitches as he leans in, closing the distance between you. the kiss starts off deep and needy, his lips sliding against yours with a hunger that tells you exactly how much heâs been craving you while trapped in this room.
the quiet studio fills with the wet, heavy sounds of your lips parting and meeting again. your fingers instinctively tangle into his hair, pulling him closer, while his large hand slides up and down your thigh, his touch scorching hot even through your pants. a soft whimper escapes the back of your throat, swallowed instantly by his mouth as he deepens the kiss, his tongue sliding past your teeth.
after a few intense minutes, you reluctantly pull your lips away, breathing heavily. "well... i donât wanna distract you more. you should work."
you make a move to stand up, but his grip on your waist tightens instantly, anchoring you down.
"no," he murmurs against your jaw, pulling you right back into his lap. "you didnât come all the way here to leave so early. and besides, we could just go home together." he slides his lips down to the sensitive skin of your neck, leaving a lingering kiss there before whispering right into your ear, "and i could even spend the night there."
you giggle, the vibration of his voice tickling your skin. "okay, fine."
you adjust yourself on his thighs, staying comfortable on his lap while he puts his headphones back on over one ear so he can listen to both you and the audio. he goes back to clicking around the screen, working on his beats, and occasionally plays a loop out loud through the studio monitors.
"which one would work better for the transition? this one?" he asks, playing a heavy bassline, "or the lighter chord progression?"
"i don't know," you chuckle, shifting a bit. "they both sound good, but the first one has more energy."
"yeah? that's what i was thinking too," he says, turning his head to kiss your cheek.
but as you shift around to look at the screen, you feel something hard and rigid pressing directly against your thigh. you glance down, then look back up at him with a knowing smirk. "uhm... can i do something about it?"
thanos glances down at his lap, then back at you, shaking his head with a smirk. "nah, itâll go away in a bit. i wanna keep the energy for later tonight."
"you sure?" you ask, leaning closer.
he raises an eyebrow, a challenged look entering his dark eyes. "do you wanna do something bout it?"
you nod immediately.
he lets out a low chuckle. "okay, show me then."
you carefully slide off his lap and drop down under the wide wooden desk, settling onto your knees in the small space between his legs. you reach up, your fingers working quickly to unbutton his baggy denim jorts. you slide the metal button loose and pull down the elastic waistband of his boxers just enough to free his length. itâs already thick, stretching out half-hard and pulsing slightly in the cool air of the room.
you wrap your fingers around the base, slowly stroking him up and down to get him harder. your eyes stay locked on his face from below the desk as you slide your hand up to the crown, watching his jaw clench. then, you lean in and part your lips, taking the tip into your warm, slick mouth.
the sudden heat makes him let out a sharp hiss. you suckle on the sensitive head, swirling your tongue around the edge in slow, deliberate circles before taking a bit more of him inside.
up above, thanos is completely losing his ability to focus on editing. his fingers hover over the keyboard, but his mind is completely blank. all he can feel is a heavy, pooling pit of intense pleasure forming deep in his lower stomach. his breath gets shallower, and he starts uncomfortably moving and shifting in his rolling chair, caught between the sheer overstimulation of your tongue and his desperate attempt to snap out of it. he tries to stare at the glowing monitor, pretending like nothing is happening, but his hands are shaking slightly on the desk.
by now, he has gotten so hard itâs almost painful. his shaft is rigid, fully engorged, and shiny beads of clear precum are starting to form right at the opening.
you glide your tongue over the very tip, catching the taste of his mildly sweet and salty precum. the direct contact on his most sensitive spot makes his brow furrow into a tight, strained frown, a low groan vibrating in his chest.
you pull out a few inches, the cool air hitting him as you look up and say, "well, that was hot."
the sound of your voice vibrates directly against his bare skin, sending an immediate, sharp wave of pleasure straight to his core. before he loses control completely, he quickly reaches down, tucks his hard cock back into his boxers, and pulls his jorts back up, though he doesn't bother to button them.
you chuckle from the floor, looking up at him mischievously. "wait, you were close. i could feel your balls tightening."
"i need to focus," he grunts, staring straight ahead at the screen, his chest rising and falling heavily.
you pout under the desk, resting your chin on his knee. but looking closer, because his jorts are still unbuttoned and hanging open, you can clearly see a dark, wet stain spreading through the gray fabric of his boxers right where he directly shoved his leaking tip back in.
you place your palm right over the wet cloth, feeling the intense heat radiating from him. "well, subongie... u wouldnât want to cum in your pants, would u?"
thatâs the breaking point. thanos grips the edge of the heavy desk and pushes his chair back, the wheels rolling him back a few feet and giving him a full, unobstructed view of you on your knees in front of him.
he stares down at you, his eyes dark with dark desire. "canât you wait just for a bit until iâm done? then we can go home and u can make me cum as many times as you want?"
you simply shake your head, signaling a definite no.
he lets out a sharp, amused scoff, a smirk breaking through his serious expression. "are you in heat?"
you both laugh, the tension breaking for a fraction of a second. then, he stands up from the chair and extends a large hand down to you. you take it, letting him pull you up to your feet, but before your knees can even straighten completely, he pulls you flush against his chest and connects your lips in a fierce, heated kiss.
you moan directly into his mouth, the sound muffled by his lips. the sudden sound gives him an idea. keeping one hand wrapped tightly around your waist, he reaches out with his other hand and blindly hits the hotkey for 'record' on his audio interface software. the little red light on the screen starts blinking, capturing every sound in the quiet room.
he backs you up against the edge of the large desk, his hands gripping your hips as he lifts you up to sit on the smooth wood. he steps in close, positioning himself right between your open legs as the kiss grows hungrier.
his large hand slips under the hem of your shirt, the heat of his palm tracing up your ribs before he quickly pulls the fabric up and over your head, tossing it onto the floor. the cool air of the studio hits your bare skin, leaving you sitting there in just your bra, your skin breaking out in goosebumps.
he doesn't give you time to think, dropping his lips to your jaw and kissing his way down the column of your neck, leaving wet trails all the way down to your chest. your fingers run wildly through his hair, gripping the strands as a loud whimper escapes your lips.
thanos pulls back just an inch, his dark eyes locking onto yours as he whispers, "make some sound for me, baby."
he reaches down to unbutton your pants, tugging them down your legs along with your shoes until they drop to the floor. his eyes drop to your underwear, noticing the prominent, damp patch clinging to your heat.
he lets out a low growl. "wow... you got this wet just from giving me head?"
you chuckle breathlessly, your face flushing. "yes."
eager to feel him, you reach down for his unbuttoned jorts, tugging them down past his hips. you try to pull his boxers down at the same time, struggling slightly because your lips are still locked together in a messy kiss, but you manage to free his fully hard, throbbing cock.
thanos doesn't waste another second. he hooks his fingers into the waistband of your underwear, pushing the fabric completely to the side to expose you. he guides himself forward, placing the slick, hot tip right against your aching entrance, but he doesn't push inside yet.
as he continues to kiss you deeply, your hips twitch. you try to tilt your pelvis, trying to position your pussy so he can finally slide into you, but he holds his ground, teasing you at the opening.
losing your patience, you break the kiss, your chest heaving as you look him dead in the eye. "just fucking fuck me!"
he blinks, a dark smirk spreading across his face. "woah, okay."
with a heavy thrust, he inserts his entire length inside you in one smooth, deep motion. your eyes widen and your head flies back as a loud, high-pitched moan echoes through the studio.
he starts moving immediately, his pace hard and unforgiving against the edge of the desk. the wood creaks slightly beneath you with every heavy, rhythmic thrust. youâre groaning and whimpering so loudly that the sound bounces off the soundproofed walls.
sensing how loud itâs getting, thanos suddenly slaps his large palm right over your mouth, muffling your next cry into his hand. "shh... do you want people to hear us, hm?"
you shake yor head quickly against his palm, your eyes wide, but the friction is entirely too good. your internal walls are squeezing him so tightly that he can't even keep his hand over your mouth anymore; instead, he pulls it away and starts completely swallowing your loud moans with deep, wet, bruising kisses, his tongue tangling with yours to muffle the sound.
instinctively, you lift your legs, wrapping them tightly around his thick waist to pull him even deeper inside you. the sudden change in angle and tightness is the exact proof he needs to know youâre right on the edge of cumming.
"fuck me harder," you gasp out against his lips, your voice trembling. "i'm so close..."
hearing those words makes his dick twitch violently inside your wet, clamping walls. his grip on your hips tightens until his knuckles turn white. reaching down between your bodies, he presses his thumb directly against your swollen clit, rubbing it in fast, heavy circles while he continues to drive into you.
the dual stimulation is too much. you dig your nails right through the fabric of his shirt, burying your face deeply into his broad shoulder as your entire body goes rigid. you can feel your internal walls clenching repeatedly around him in a tight, pulsing orgasm.
thanos feels the intense contractions gripping his shaft, pushing him entirely over the edge. his breathing turns into ragged, heavy gasps. "breathe, les... say my name, señorita," he growls against your ear.
"thanos... i'm cuming," you sob out, biting your own lip hard to muffle the loud, shattering moans as the climax waves through you, but the muffled, breathless sound only makes the air in the room hotter.
with a few final, deep thrusts, thanos lets out a low, guttural groan into the crook of your neck, his body shuddering as he cums deep inside you, filling you completely while the red recording light on the monitor continues to blink quietly in the dim purple light.
α few months later, the morning sun was creeping through the blinds of your bedroom, casting long stripes of light across the sheets. you blinked your eyes open, yawning as you reached out across the mattress, only to find thanosâ side completely empty and cold.
you sighed, rubbing your face, and grabbed your phone off the nightstand to check the time. out of habit, you opened tiktok to mindlessly scroll for a few minutes before getting up.
but the second your feed loaded, your heart dropped.
your entire phone was flooded with edits, screenshots, and frantic text videos all talking about one thing: a massive scandal involving your man. thanos had just dropped a surprise track at midnight, a pre-release teaser to build hype before announcing his official album drop date. he had been weirdly secretive about it for weeks, completely refusing to let you hear even a snippet of it, which was unusual for him. now you knew why.
the comments were losing their minds. âwho is that in the background??â âthanos who is she??â âthe moans at the beginning of the song are so loud wtf.â
your stomach twisted into a tight knot of irritation. female moans? an extremely explicit track? you felt a sudden wave of heat rush to your face as panic and anger started to mix. who the hell did he bring into the studio? was this why he wouldnât show you the song? was he actually cheating on you this whole time?
you closed tiktok immediately, your fingers trembling slightly as you opened spotify and typed the new song title into the search bar. you pressed play, holding the phone close to your ear, your breath catching in your throat as the heavy bass started to intro.
and then, right before the beat dropped, the audio played a crystal-clear, high-pitched, breathless whimper, followed by a loud, completely uninhibited moan that echoed right through your speakers.
your jaw dropped. you froze, the blood running cold in your veins before rushing straight back to your face in a burning blush.
it was you.
it was your own voice. it was the exact, shattering sound you had made against the studio desk a few months ago when he hit the record button without you knowing.
you were absolutely flabbergasted. your brain completely short-circuited for a solid three seconds before you screamed at the top of your lungs, throwing your phone hard onto the mattress.
"SUBONG!" you shrieked, throwing the blankets off your legs and scrambling out of bed.
you marched out of the bedroom, your chest heaving with pure, unadulterated rage as you looked for this absolute bastard. you stomped down the hallway and rounded the corner into the kitchen, finding him standing by the counter. he was staring down at his phone with a huge, stupid grin on his face, literally giggling at the internet chaos he had just created.
he heard your heavy footsteps and looked up, his expression softening into a relaxed smile. "hey baby, good morningâ"
before he could even finish his sentence, you marched right up to him and slapped his arm hard.
thanos winced, stumbling back a step as his coffee sloshed slightly in the mug. he looked at you, completely startled and wide-eyed, his inner tings taking over as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "what the fuck??? what was that for?"
"you put my moans in your song??!!" you yelled, your voice cracking slightly from the sheer shock of it all. "are you completely insane? that is supposed to be private! thatâs supposed to be between us!"
thanos blinked, the confusion on his face instantly melting away into an amused, proud smirk. he set his coffee mug down on the counter and took a step toward you, entirely unfazed by your anger.
"it was a surprise," he said, his voice smooth and completely casual. "and besides, nobody even knows itâs you, baby. youâre officially gonna be featured on my album!"
"thatâs really not fucking funny, aubong!" you snapped, pushing his chest as he tried to get closer. you threw your hands up in the air, your face burning red. "itâs embarrassing as fuck! my voice is literally charting on spotify right now while people are talking about how explicit it is!"
seeing how genuinely worked up you were, thanos softened his expression. he stepped into your space, ignoring your weak shoves, and wrapped his heavy, warm arms tightly around your waist, pulling your back against his chest to anchor you. he buried his face into the crook of your neck, inhaling deeply, his broad frame completely enveloping yours to calm you down.
"let me go, i'm literally so mad at you," you muttered, though you didn't have the energy to actually fight his grip.
"listen to me," he murmured against your skin, his deep voice vibrating right through your back. he started slowly swaying you side to side, using that low, smooth tone he knew always worked on you. "breath for a second. nobody knows it's you. to the world, it's just a random vocal sample. but to me? i get to listen to my favorite sound whenever i'm on tour."
he pulled back just enough to turn you around in his arms so you were facing him. his dark eyes locked onto yours, a wicked, teasing glint in them as he leaned down closer to your face, exerting his full charm to manipulate you out of your bad mood.
"and honestly? you sounded really hot," he whispered, his thumb gently wiping a stray hair from your forehead. "do you know how many girls would be jealous of you right now if they knew you were the one riding the beat?"
a small, involuntary chuckle escaped your lips before you could stop it, your defenses instantly crumbling against your will. you quickly bit your inside cheek, trying to force the smile off your face. "you are literally awful. you can't just smooth-talk your way out of this."
"see? you're laughing," he grinned, his dimples showing as he squeezed your waist. "that means you like it."
"i still hate you!" you yelled, slapping his chest again, though there was no force behind it this time. "you're a menace. you should have asked me first!"
"if i asked, you would've said no," he argued logically, leaning down to plant a heavy, lingering kiss on your lips to finally shut you up. "now come eat breakfast with your producer, superstar."
contents: grief, flashbacks/memories, slight description of how reader's parents passed, the rest of this series will be fluffy, i promise!
a/n: grief is a strange, evil thing, and everyone feels it differently. there is no timeline or schedule, and sometimes it can be silent, then the next moment, it's debilitating. please take care of yourself <3
word count- 1.1k
stendhal syndrome masterlist
One of the first things you learned about being an artistâsupplies are fucking expensive. Insanely so. Especially when you go through them as quickly as you do.
Your father taught you how to paint. He was a good police officer, but an even better painter. And he always taught you that good quality supplies are worth the extra money.Â
But good lord, those charges sure do pile up.
Expensive paint, a specific brand. Old Holland, the brand your father always bought. He would have shipments of it imported in. You never really asked why he would only use that one specific brand, but he would always talk about how well the colours blend, how they work on the canvas better than anything else. And you trusted him, so you use it too. And honestly, this was one of the last remaining pieces of him in your studio. So you keep buying it.Â
But itâs expensive. As well as brushes, canvases, pastels, you name it. Itâs a lot.Â
So instead of settling for less expensive optionsâlike you probably shouldâyou got a second job.Â
You work full time in marketing for a boring company in the city, the type of job where youâre sitting at a desk and typing, stuck in a cubicle all day. Then, as often as you can, you pick up shifts at a small cafe closer to your apartment. Itâs owned by this older couple who always look out for you, always give you extra hours when you need them.Â
Your full time job pays the bills. Rent, utilities, groceries. But the cafe pays for what you actually care about. The art supplies.Â
But because of this, and your habit of illegally painting at ungodly hours, you barely sleep. But you really donât mind. Your mind hasnât truly slept since you were a teenager. Thoughts are always running, memories always crashing in.Â
That night is a frequent one. The night everything changed.Â
You used to have nightmares, but now, the flashbacks come during the day. Itâs like a dull ache in the back of your head, knocking on your skull every once and a while to remind you itâs still there.Â
The call from your aunt didnât last very long. You were home alone, waiting for your parents to return from their date night.Â
She offered to pick you up and drive you to the hospital, but she barely finished the sentence before you were out the door.Â
You ran. Your legs ached, chest burned. But you didnât notice.Â
They were already dead when you got there. Doctors told you that they did everything they could, but the damage was too severe.Â
The doctor explained it all to you, but you werenât listening. You just sat at your motherâs bedside and held her hand, cold and still.Â
Your aunt eventually dragged you home. You didnât sleep for a week. You didnât speak to anyone for months.Â
You still wake up in a cold sweat sometimes. You still sit at their graves, leave the same pink roses at your mothers.Â
Itâs gotten easier to live, but it never really goes away.Â
Art is your only escape. Itâs the only thing that allows you to shut off your brain, to be in the moment and feel what you need to feel.Â
So you donât mind losing sleep in order to find yourself in this alley again.Â
But just as youâre setting down your bag, sorting through paints, you see it.Â
A note.Â
Held down by a small rock, right below your painting. You crouch down and reach for it. You carefully unfold it.Â
Two words.Â
Stendhal Syndrome.Â
Thatâs it.Â
And at the bottom of the page, itâs signed.Â
-S
You reread those two words again. You recognize the phrase immediately.Â
Stendhal syndrome: When exposure to beautiful or deeply moving art causes a physical reaction.Â
You catch yourself smiling at the paper. Someone left this. After seeing your artwork, someone felt something. You reached someone.Â
Not just someone.
S.
You think of people you know. Friends, coworkers, family. No one of importance could be S.Â
Could this be a stranger? Someone who happened to stumble upon your piece, and it struck them so closely that they had to leave a note?Â
The thought almost excites you. You smile, folding the note and placing it in your pocket.Â
Your art affected this stranger. It stuck with this random person. And that places a warm, unfamiliar feeling in your chest.Â
You spend almost three hours painting. Your headphones are way too loud, but thatâs how you like it. You donât even really think before you place brushstrokes on the brick wall, you just let your hand move the way it wants to, the way it was meant to.Â
And just as the morning sun peeks over the horizon, you pack up and leave, with a new-found flutter in your stomach. Almost⊠anticipation.Â
-
Today, Seunghyun isnât on his phone in the car on his way to his studio. Heâs watching the window, until he spots it.Â
That pop of colour in that dark alley.Â
Again, he asks his driver to pull over. And again, he grabs his notebook and slips into the alley.Â
He can tell progress has been made, he can see more defined lines and sharper pigments, like youâd gone over the same lines as before to really have them pronounced.Â
He runs his fingers along the paint again, just barely dry.Â
Seunghyun stands there for a while, then he looks down, noticing his note is gone. He hopes it was found, read and kept, like he intended.Â
But he isnât done. So he takes the pen from his pocket and writes another. His eyes flick between the paper and the painting as he writes. Then, he rips the page out and folds it as neatly as possible, and places it under the same rock right below your painting.Â
He stands there for a moment longer, as if committing it to memory. Then, he trails back to his car and signals the driver to go ahead.Â
Every time he remembers your painting, he smiles to himself. Itâs refreshing to see art like yours displayed like that, and he finds himself almost excited to see what it may look like completed.Â
Incredible work. Truly. Can I have your autograph? :)
Summary: Seunghyun throws you a curveball as the Florida trip comes to a close with the reintroduction to your brother & celebration of Myeongâs birthday.
Warnings: MDNI 18+, language, adult themes/topics, mention of family member death-pregnancy-past drug use, etc.
Authorâs Note: We are reaching the end of this storyâŠwhat a journey it has been âșïž. There is a strong possibility I will be able to wrap everything up in the next chapter.
Chapter Fourteen
Suddenly Seunghyun takes your phone and without looking, and closes the email.
âBabe! What the hell?â You whisper with force.
âI donât want to know.â He says quickly. âIâŠI want to be surprised.â
âYou want to wait until the baby is born?â You say in shock. âThis is so unlike you.â
âWe can send the email to Ji and Nari so they can know. They can buy any clothes or items we may need specifically and they can just give them to us when Agi is born. I also have a perfectly planned nursery idea that is a gender neutral option utilizing the primary colors.â
âYouâve really thought this through.â You say, surprised. You canât help but smile at how clearly heâs planned this all out.
âThen we can just enjoy this time together. Without the pressure of knowing if itâs a boyâŠor a girl.â
You lean your head on his shoulder. âSeunghyunâŠAre you worried about the possibility of it being a boy?â
You feel his muscles tense, his hand automatically finding your bump. âIf you donât want to wait, Iâll understand.â He says softly.
âNo, youâve sold me on the idea. But, you mentioned the pressure of finding outâŠmeaning?â
He lets out a heavy sigh. âWith a boy comes upholding family names and high expectations from my father. Itâs a future military enlistmentâŠâ
âItâs other things too.â You say optimistically. âItâs art galleries with you and Mye, space exploration, messy art projects, maybe sports if theyâre into thatâŠâ
He nods. âI know. Iâm justâŠâ
âIn your head.â
âYes, therapist wife of mine. Iâm stuck in my head right now. Iâll get through it.â He says, kissing you.
You take your phone back and prep an email to send to Nari and Jiyong with specifics on accessing the information from your doctor. You also start two wishlists for your registry, one if the baby is a girl and the other for a boy.
âThis way, we get what we want and keep the element of surprise.â You smile up at him.
âItâs a great plan.â He says as he notices your smile fade. âWhat is it?â
âThis means we are going to have to come up with two sets of namesâŠâ You groan. âIt was hard enough to name Mye. Now we need options and that is asking a lotâŠâ
The corner of his mouth turns up. âWe will be fine. I have a few ideas already bouncing around my brain.â He says, pointing to his temple.
_____________________________
The next evening is the cookout your Mother planned to celebrate Myeongâs birthday. She planned an âAll Americanâ experience with hamburgers, hot dogs, and all the sides. You laugh to yourself as you think of what it even means to be considered âAmericanâ but you let her have her moment.
Your only request is that you make Myeongâs birthday cake as youâve been doing every year since she was born. Her only request was pink so you take creative liberties by baking it in the shape of a heart and adding frilly embellishments after watching a few tutorials on YouTube.
âImpressive.â Seunghyun says, entering the kitchen. âSheâs going to love it.â
You smile back at him, proudly. âI have to say, every year I get better and better at this.â
__________________________
The rest of the day passes quickly as you help your mother prepare for the arrival of your brother and his family. You had learned only recently that he had married his on again off again girlfriend, Julia. They had a six year old son, Carter, that you had never met due to your move to Korea. This was a topic you and your mother had recently discussed at length on top of processing her enabling of your brother and his addiction in the past. You were trying your best to be a daughter and sibling today, not a therapist.
Seunghyun catches you adjusting your dress in the mirror for the tenth time when he finally says something.
âEverything will be fine, Princess.â He says, wrapping his arms around you from behind.
âThatâs easy for you to say. You donât know my brother.â You exhale shakily.
âI could argue you donât really know him either. You havenât seen him in years.â
You look up at him. âDo you ever think that maybe youâre too optimistic and forgiving?â
He looks back at you, empathetically. âAs someone who has been on the receiving end of controversy, a second chance is always welcomed. Now, if heâs a complete asshole and tries to ruin our daughterâs day, then I will support your frustrations.â
You sigh in agreement. âOkay, letâs get this show on the road.â
âââââââââ-
When your brother arrives Myeong and Seunghyun are kicking a soccer ball back and forth outside while youâre in the kitchen, folding and refolding the napkins.
You hear your motherâs over exaggerated voice doting on him. Your brother has, reportedly, been clean and sober for the past 3 years. This change of lifestyle is what led Julia and Carter back into his life, but ever the skeptic, youâre not buying it.
âGrammy! Where is my cousin?â You hear Carter yell.
âOutside with her dad. Why donât you come into the kitchen and meet your aunt first?â
You stand awkwardly, preparing yourself.
âCarter, this is your aunt, Y/N.â Your mother smiles broadly.
âHi!â Carter says confidently. Waving.
âHelloâŠCarter. Itâs nice to finally meet you.â
âWhereâs your daughter? I want to meet her. We brought her a present. Itâs a Barbie.â
Heâs quick and to the point. âUh-um. Sheâs outside, Iâll go get her.â Meanwhile, your brother and Julia stand quietly in the corner, clearly as nervous as you are.
As if on cue, Myeong runs inside. âMama can we please have some water?â She stops in her tracks when she sees Carter. âWho is that?â She asks in Korean.
Youâve noticed anytime Myeong feels unsure of something, she reverts back to Korean as a security blanket. âThatâs your cousin, Carter.â You reply back to her in Korean as well. âItâs okay, you can say hello.â
âAnnyeonghaseyo.â She says shyly.
âYou talk funny.â Carter exclaims without missing a beat.
You crouch down on his level. âMyeong is speaking Korean.â You say calmly. âSometimes it can be surprising to hear new languages.â
âI speak English tooâŠâ She replies.
âWoah, That's coolâŠI only speak one language.â Carter says, looking between you and Myeong. âAre you adopted?â
âCARTER!â Julia exclaims, heading over.
You put a hand up to stop her. She does so, apprehensively.
âYou donât look like your Mom.â He says.
Myeong looks at you and back at Carter. âYes I do. I look like my Mama and Appa!â She replies defensively.
âMyeongâs Dad is from Korea. I am from here. Myeong is half Korean and half American. So no, she isnât adopted. Sometimes, people look different from you but itâs exciting to learn new things and meet new people, isnât it?â
âYeahâŠIâve never left Florida before.â
âMaybe Myeong can tell you about Korea.â You say encouragingly.
âCool!â Carter says, looking towards the back door. âWanna go play outside?â
Myeong looks to you for permission. âYou can go play with him.â You smile supportively. They both run outside as Seunghyun enters, surveying the room.
âI am so sorry about that.â Julia says, embarrassed.
âIt was a teachable moment.â You smile, realizing Seunghyun is awkwardly standing beside you now. âThis is my husband, Seunghyun.â
âHello, I am Will, Y/Nâs brother. This is Julia.â Will says, motioning to his wife. âItâs nice to meet you. We have heard a lot about you.â Will speaks loud and slow.
You roll your eyes as you watch your husband try very hard to keep his composure. âGod Will, I can see where your son gets it from. He speaks English and stop yelling. Heâs not deaf.â
Juliaâs cheeks redden. âThis is a disasterâŠcan we start over?â
âIt's fine, really.â Seunghyun interjects, extending his hand. âI have heard a lot about you, so it's nice to see you in person.â
âIâm sure she's told you all the worst stories about me.â Will says, directing his attention to you. âHopefully, I will prove them wrong today.â
You cross your arms. âYeah, you're off to a great start.â
âAt least our kids are hitting it off.â Julia smiles, looking out at the backyard at Myeong and Carter playing. âCarter has never met a stranger. But I do apologize in advance, he doesnât really have a filter.â
âHe gets that from his Dad.â You say under your breath.
âI heard that.â Will says sharply. âYou know, I have turned my life around. You can lay off. Iâd like to get to know my brother in law and niece in peace.â
Seunghyun squeezes your hand, before clearing his throat. âJulia, why donât we see if Patricia needs any help outside?â
She nods and the two of them head out into the patio, leaving you with your brother.
âYou know I had to pick up the pieces when you left.â He starts. âIt gutted herâŠlike Dad all over again.â
You raise a hand to cut him off. âWe donât need to rehash this Will. She and I have had extensive conversations about all that and are in a better place now. This trip has smoothed things over. But thank you for reminding me.â You say sarcastically.
âGood.â He seems relieved. âJust wanted to be clear that I did step up when I was needed.â
âWell, great job. Hereâs your much deserved praise for stepping up for the first time in you life and allowing me to be the fuck up for once.â
âThatâs not what I meantâŠI just.â
âThe first two days we were here took a lot of work. It was a rollercoaster of family drama.â You say as you again revert to folding the napkins.
Will chuckles. âMom has always had a flair for the dramaticsâŠbut you guys are good?â
âYeah, we are.â You say, reflecting on the beginning of the trip. âWe have patched things up and I think we are in a good place.â
âGood to hear.â He smiles, before taking a grounding breath. âLookâŠIt really is good to see you. For Carter to know his auntâŠfor me to meet Myeong.â
You raise a brow at his pronunciation. âYouâve been practicing.â
âMom made sure. Too bad she didnât prep me for your husband.â He laughs, headed towards the fridge.
âWell, luckily for you his life in the public eye has made him very easy going with meeting new people.â
âYeah I googled him. HeâsâŠtalented. Like a Korean Eminem.â
You laugh. âThatâs your comparison? God youâre an idiot.â
âHey but Iâm your idiot brother. So it works.â He grins, pulling out a tray of deviled eggs from the back of the fridge. âMom made these just for me.â He sings as he pops the lid open. âBut Iâll be nice and share.â He says offering you one.
You turn for the bathroom before you can even get a full visual or smell. Thereâs no question about it, Agi and eggs do not mix.
When you return your brother has practically shoved three eggs in his mouth and disposed of the containers. âDid moving to Korea make you hate Momâs deviled eggs?â
âNo, getting pregnant did.â You say stifling a gag. âI can barely stomach the word let alone see or smell them.â
He looks at you confused.
âSurprise! I see you for the first time in almost ten years and you get not one but two cousins for Carter.â
âNo shit!? Thatâs great news!â He crosses the kitchen and envelops you in a bear hug, lifting you off the ground just as Seunghyun renters the kitchen, followed by Julia.
âThey seem to have hit it off.â You hear Seunghyun mumble to Julia.
âOkay okay, let me go! You smell like eggs and Iâm going to throw up again.â
Will places you back on the ground and changes his target to Seunghyun. âCongrats man! I know I just met you, but Iâm going to hug you.â
Your brother then envelops your husband in the same style bear hug. Julia looks embarrassed.
âIâm sure you know heâs never been one to keep things low key.â She smiles. âBut seriously, we are happy for you both. Mye told me and Carter outside.â
You laugh. âSheâs very excited to be a big sister.â
âCarter asked if it was a boy.â
âWe areâŠwaiting to find out.â You smile, looking at Seunghyun who was finally placed back on the ground.
âThe ultimate surprise!â Will shouts as your Mother enters.
âDinner is ready.â She announces, prompting you all to file outside. She stops you. âThank you.â She says with tears forming. âSeeing you all getting along has made my heart so happy.â
ââââââââ
The rest of the evening goes perfectly. For the first time in a long time, everyone gets along. Your mother out does herself with the cooking and the night ends perfectly with you all singing happy birthday to Myeong. The excitement in her eyes when you place her cake in front of her becomes a core memory.
The end of the week is spent with all of you together, swimming, grilling out, and reminiscing late into the night. You and Will bring up crazy stories from your childhood as Carter and Myeong play until they pass out on your laps around the outdoor fireplace.
On the last day, you find yourself trying to hide your tears as you watch your Mother in the pool with her grandchildren.
âAgi making you emotional again?â Seunghyun teases.
âNo.â You shake your head, wiping a tear. âThis is all me. I really didnât think I needed thisâŠbut clearly I did. We all did.â
Seunghyun smiles softly, wrapping his arm around your waist. âIâm just glad it all worked out in the end. I had a feeling it would.â
You look up at him. âIâll give you all the credit you want for this one. You took a risk in planning this but it all fell into place. You were right.â
âHmmm, I love hearing you say that.â He grins, leaning in to kiss you.
_______________________
The three of you leave early the following morning with your hearts bursting with love, a camera roll full of memories, and the optimism that youâll see your mom again in Korea sometime in July.
Back home, itâs full steam ahead with work. You share the news with your team, Soo-Jin was not at all surprised and called it before you even announced it to the rest of the workplace, and you announce that you will be stepping down as a therapist when the baby is born, taking a more managerial approach to the practice, promoting Soo-Jin to lead therapist.
This was something you and Seunghyun discussed at length on the plane ride back to Korea. Being present as much as possible is what is most important so together, you made the choice to step back and manage versus counsel clients. Over the next few months you will work to either close out or transition your clients in order to free up your caseload.
Seunghyun continues working on his album with plans to fly to LA sometime in May to finalize the sound mixing with IRKO with the anticipated late summer release. If heâs not locked in his recording studio Seunghyun can be found in the nursery assembling furniture and dreaming up new additions to the Piet Mondrian theming.
Myeong started kindergarten and, much like her preschool teacher suggested, is thriving. The first day drop off was rough for all parties involved you and Seunghyun because you realize your daughter is growing up fast and for Myeong because the time of half days and three times a week visits are over and school is now a full time schedule. As usual, she was resilient and able to adjust quickly.
Nari and Jiyong were also thriving as new parents. The twins were now four months old and they too had settled in a routine. They came over once a week for dinner for âbig sister practiceâ as Myeong calls it. They also use that time to peek in on the nursery progress to purchase needed items from your registry. The two of them love being the only people in Seoul who know the gender of the baby and dangle it in front of you any chance they get. Seunghyun remains unbothered, truly wanting to wait for the surprise. You and Mye on the other hand are anxious and just want to know.
âPleeeeeeeeaaaaase JiJi?â Myeong squeals at dinner.
âChoi Myeong-WolâŠâ Seunghyun warns as he bounces Mi-Rae in his arms.
âItâs okay HyungâŠHere Mye, Iâll give you a hint.â Jiyong says, motioning her to him. She leans in excitedly.
âItâs aâŠBaby!â He whispers dramatically, more than pleased with himself.
Myeong sticks her tongue out at him and crosses her arms in frustration as Jiyong ruffles her hair.
You look down at Yeon-Woo and roll your eyes. âBelieve it or notâŠâ You say to her. âYour Appa is the infamous G Dragon, one of the most influential men in all of Korea.â
âBingu Dragon may be more fitting.â Seunghyun adds with a wink towards his friend. âAlright Moon Beam, time for bed. Say goodnight to Imo and JiJiâ
Myeong hops off her chair, hugging them individually then comes over to you. âGoodnight MamaâŠgoodnight Agi.â She says placing her face incredibly close to your bump.
âI can take her.â Nari adds, gesturing to Seunghyun who is still holding Mi-Rae.
âNope, Iâve got her. This is good practice for the future bedtime routine as a father of two.â He says, heading towards Myeongâs room.
You smile to yourself. Everything is falling into place. The fears you had of Myeong adjusting to kindergarten and a sibling on the way have melted away. Your transition away from work is going smoothly and the nursery is almost finished, thanks to Seunghyunâs hard work. You exhale a breath of relief. All the pieces are falling into place.
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.á. ⊠SUMMARY: thanos gets into a fight and you're there to patch him up but when night comes it's his turn to play doctor
.á. ⊠WARNINGS: 18+, mdni. fingering, orgasm denial, dirty talk. mentions of blood, attempted murder, usual squid game stuff. swearing.
.á. ⊠WC: 2.2k
.á . âŠAUTHORS NOTE: back at it with another thanos fic. this was a request i got a while ago!! pls forgive any mistakes. its late, i'm tired and its so stupid hot here rn in the uk i forgot how to function.
This wasnât what you had signed up for.
The allure of money had been so strong that you had willingly put yourself in danger. This, however, wasnât what you had thought would happen when some random stranger had asked you to play a game of Ddakji with him. Your student debts had been so bad that you hadnât been thinking properly. The only thought that had been plaguing your mind ever since you had finished your education was paying those bills off so you could live debt free. At that point you would have done anything for some money. But, this? This wasnât something you couldâve ever thought of even in your worst nightmares. Childrenâs games where you played to the death. Blood and death surrounded you at every corner in this place. You would think being a nurse and working in a hospital would have helped you be used to it but this was too much. So unnecessary. These people hadnât been in some accident or suffering from some illness, they were being killed for losing a game. It was monstrous.
The only thing you could do to keep yourself from falling into a pit of despair was focus on helping the people who needed it. Those who had managed to injure themselves whether it was in a game or in one of the many fights that seemed to happen around you. That gave you a purpose, a reason to shut your mind off and rely on what you knew. The limited resources hindered you a lot but you were creative, you could make use of just about anything. So far, there hadnât been anything too serious. A few cuts, a sprained ankle, maybe even a concussion. Those were easy to treat. Easy but a distraction for your addled mind.
âThereâs a fight in the bathroom,â you heard one of the guards saying, a few of them rushing in that direction.
Good. That would be a very welcome distraction right now as you looked around at the dwindled number of contestants left.
âââââ ââ ââ â âââââÂ
Subong had MG Coin pinned under him, his hands wrapped around his throat as he tried to drain the life out of him. It was all heâd wanted to do since the moment he had laid eyes on him in this place. That fucker had screwed him out of all of his money, leaving him in so much debt that had ruined his life. Sure, it wouldnât help get his money back but it would feel so good. What Subong hadnât realised was that the man beneath him had swiped one of the forks theyâd got with their dinner earlier. The fighting around them was loud but Subong wasnât paying it any attention, solely focused on the man he hated more than anything in the world. He didnât even hear it when the guards came rushing in breaking things up.
He did feel when Myunggi drove the fork into his shoulder, letting out a loud yelp. Before he could even register what was happening, he was pulled up to his feet by his collar, a guard basically dragging him back into the main room. The fork was pulled from his shoulder without a care in the world from the guard, a wince of pain shooting through Subong, his hand automatically moving to cover the wound.
He scanned the room, eyes landing on the one person he knew would be able to help him. You.
Subong had taken an instant liking to you. Maybe it was how vulnerable you seemed to be â something he had lost a long time ago. Seeing how caring you were, how you seemed to put others before yourself, that was something he admired even if he would never say it out loud. At any opportunity he could, he would find himself seeking you out. Of course, he couldnât help himself and ended up flirting with you at every opening. You never seemed to mind. He was pretty sure heâd caught you blushing a few times. Long strides took him to you. He cleared his throat to get your attention.
âSenorita,â he winced as pain shot through his shoulder. âCould do with a bit of your magic touch here.â
Your eyes shot up to him. âSit.â
He obeyed immediately, sitting down on the bunk next to you. Finally, he removed his hand from where heâd been stabbed, his palm covered in blood. âWell, shit, that ainât good.â
âWhat happened?â You questioned. Without you even having to ask him, he removed his jacket so you could get a better look at the wound. You carefully examined it, your fingers pressing around the wound to see where it was tender. Using some toilet paper youâd swiped from the bathroom earlier, you wiped away some of the blood. âCan you rip a bit of your shirt off so I can tie it around to stop the bleeding?â
He hesitated for a moment but it didnât last too long as he ripped off a scrap of fabric from the shirt. It was flimsy material, coming away easily. He handed it to you, watching as you got to work wrapping it around his arm. âMG Fucker stabbed me with a fork. Barely missed my throat. Couldâve been a goner.â
He was laying it on thick which only caused you to smile, your fingers working to tighten the fabric around his arm, hoping that it would help. There wasnât much you could really do but staunching the bleeding would help a lot. Hopefully it would only be another day or two before you got out of here. âMhm, Iâm sure. Just be careful, okay?â
âAww, look at you, caring about me and shit. So sweet,â he grinned, trying his best to put on a brave face even if his shoulder was killing him.
âTake it easy for the rest of the night, okay? No more fights.â
âWhatever you say, Senorita.â
âI mean it, Subong. Iâll be watching you.â
âIâll make sure to be extra sexy then just for you.â
You rolled your eyes, pulling away to see youâd managed to cover the wound. âThereâs not much else I can do for you now but if you can, try and wash it in the morning. If itâs still bleeding, come back and see me.â
âI owe you one, Doc.â
âNurse.â
âYeah, yeah. Still owe you one either way.â
âââââ ââ ââ â âââââÂ
As night fell, you could hear your fellow contestants snoring or even talking in their sleep but no matter how hard you tried, you couldnât close your eyes. After an hour (or so you guessed; time in this place was funny) of tossing and turning, you gave up. A heavy sigh fell from your lips as you stared up at the bunk above you. It was so baffling to you how easily people could sleep in a place like this but people dealt with things differently. When you had nothing to occupy your mind, all the events youâd witnessed over the last few days ran through your mind. It was a real life horror story, one where your life was on the line. Tomorrow could be your last day for all you knew.
âPsst, Senorita, you awake?â A familiar voice whispered. You turned your head to see Subong crouching beside your bed. âBudge up, let me in.â
You shuffled up in the small bed, giving him room to slide in. He pulled the blankets back over you both, settling in beside you. âWhatâre you doing?â
âCouldnât sleep and I figured you couldnât either so⊠why not not sleep together?â There was a mischievous glint in his eye, accompanied by his hand slowly sliding up your thigh.Â
âAgain, what are you doing?â You whispered, biting at your bottom lip. During the night, you opted to sleep in your underwear and the shirt they gave you so he had full access to your lower half much to his delight.
âI said I owe you one, remember? And, you seem like you could use a distraction,â he hand slid higher and higher, fingers skimming over the fabric of your panties. âSo, you can tell me to stop or I can keep going.â
It had been a while and little distraction would stop your mind from falling into dark thoughts so you nodded. That was all the permission he needed. His fingers ran along your panties. Slowly, tortuously. You bit your lower lip, focusing on the sensation of his teasing fingers. It felt nice. You could already feel yourself getting turned on. âKeep going.â
âThatâs what I like to hear, Senorita,â he whispered in your ear, his lips finding their place against the skin of your neck, peppering it with open mouthed kisses while his fingers teased you through panties. âGonna get you nice and wet for me. Repay you for being real kind to me.â
You felt his teeth nip at your neck, an involuntary moan passing your lips. He knew exactly what he was doing and it was working. When he was sure he had teased you enough, he used his fingers to push your panties to the side, running one of his long fingers along your slit. He rubbed his fingers up and down, gathering your slick as his thumb found your clit. He added the slightest bit of pressure as he began to rub slow, lazy circles against the sensitive bud. When he heard you gasp, he increased his pace, his fingers moving faster.
âYou like that, baby? Yeah, you do,â he nipped at your neck. âTell me what you want and Iâll give it to you.â
Your hips bucked up into his hand craving more. He was playing you like a fiddle, pulling all your strings taut but never giving you what you wanted. You whimpered. âYour fingers. Please.â
âThatâs a good girl,â he claimed your lips in a messy kiss, all tongue and teeth. His fingers slid lower until they were at your entrance. He didnât dive in straight away. He circled you, teasing you, dipping just the tip of his finger inside and pulling it back out to run up along your folds. He repeated the motion until you were a begging mess. Thatâs when he caved, easing a finger inside of you with ease. He pumped it slowly at first just to torture you before he joined it with a second one.
âLook at you,â he whispered gruffly in your ear. âBegging me to fuck you with my fingers surrounded by all these people. Such a dirty girl.â
He thrust his fingers faster, all the while his thumb was still playing with your clit. He couldnât help himself, the way your face contorted, the breathy, quiet moans leaving your lips was fueling him. He loved to tease, to bring you to the edge. When he felt your walls clamping down around his fingers, heâd slow down, easing up then pick it back up, never letting you feel your sweet release. âNuh-uh. Not yet. You can cum when I say so. You look so pretty right now. All flushed and frustrated. Bet you wish it was my cock inside you, donât you?â
A curl of his fingers had you seeing stars, your fingers gripping the sheet below you. âYes!â
âDonât worry, Senorita. When we get out of here, Iâll make sure to fuck you so good you wonât even remember this place. Youâll only ever be able to think of me.â
He was done teasing now, his own arousal becoming too hard to ignore. His pants tightened, his cock rock hard as he pressed against you. He was a man on a mission now. He had to see you finish, had to feel you lose control. He sped up his fingers, plunging into you as hard as he could, curling his fingers inside you with each thrust. You felt it, your release approaching yet again.
âPlease, please,â you babbled.
âShh, Senorita, you wouldnât want anyone to find out what a naughty little nurse you really are, would you?â He said, teasingly nipping at your lower lip. âBut, since you asked so nicely, cum for me.â
That was all the permission you needed. Your hips met the thrust of his fingers, the pad of his thumb against your clit sending you over the edge. Your eyes squeezed shut, one of your hands moving to cover the moan you made as you came all over his fingers. He slowed his movements as he worked you through it, a smirk on his face as he watched you lose control.
âFuck,â you breathed out heavily, chest rising and falling.Â
âYouâre welcome,â he smirked, pulling his fingers from you. Subong being Subong made a show of licking his fingers clean, maintaining eye contact with you the whole time.Â
âI didnât say thank you.â
âNah but you wanted to.â
You rolled your eyes at him, finally feeling that familiar pull of sleep now that some of the tension had been eased. âStay?â
He hesitated for a brief moment before nodding, settling in beside you. He loosely wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you against him. âSure.â There was a pause before he spoke again. âI meant it, by the way. We get out of here and Iâm fucking you until you canât remember a dman thing about this shithole.â
contents- depression, isolation, SH (indirect?), this one is rough. i apologize in advance. that's really all i have to say :')
word count- 1.6k
new moon masterlist
Hope is something youâve learned to turn away. Every time you feel like things might take a turn for the better, like the sun might shine, a fatal tsunami crashes into your world. So youâve just stopped trying.Â
You and Seunghyun both.Â
So when he told you about DearMoon, when he told you that heâd have to be in LA for training, you simply smiled and congratulated him. At this point, you thought hugging him would make the moon explode or something.Â
You thought about asking to join him, but that thought quickly fizzled out, since he showed no indication that he wanted you there. You blamed it on the fact that Youngbae had already asked for your assistance in producing Down To Earth, but you knew that was a lie.Â
You started to believe that he didnât love you anymore.Â
Your sweet, funny, lively boy has faded to this quiet, dark shell of his former self. You are barely home anymore, and when you are, youâre living like roommates.Â
You havenât said I love you in days. Neither has he.Â
You thought he didnât feel it anymore. You thought he was trying to let you down easy or something.Â
But that couldnât be further from the truth.Â
Seunghyun knows. Of course he does. He knows how heâs making you feel.Â
But thatâs kind of his goal.Â
Maybe if he makes you hate him, youâll find it easier to move on. Live a good life, without him.Â
Maybe, just maybe, youâll return to your happy self, the one that loved music and loved her job, the one that smiled all of the time, that found beauty in the most insignificant moments.Â
Thatâs all he wants. To protect you. From himself. Thatâs what he thought he was doing all of this time.Â
The date of his departure was quickly approaching. You noticed how he talked about the mission. As if this was it. As if he didnât really mind if he didnât come back.Â
All you wanted was to hold him, to tell him that he shouldnât go. That he should stay here with you. But that doesnât feel like an option anymore.Â
The night before he was supposed to leave, he asked you to stay home. You had dinner plans with friends, but you cancelled them, thinking maybe he wanted to make things right before he left for months.Â
You sit cross legged on the couch, facing him, picking at the skin around your nail beds.Â
âI love you,â he begins, and your heart drops. âMore than anything. I need you to know that.â
âI love you too.â You say without thinking, but you know that tone. His words arenât fooling you.Â
He sighs, heavy and exhausted. âI canât do this anymore, Y/N.â
Your chest tightens. You feel nauseous. But you donât respond.Â
He continues. âIâm holding you back. Iâm ruining your life. I canât take itâwatching you fade away because of me.â
You feel your eyes sting, but you blink back the tears before they can dare to fall. You move closer and take his hand. âYou arenât holding me back, baby. I promise. I- I can help, okay? Whatever this is, we can work through it-â
âNo, Y/N. We canât.â He says, final. He doesnât look at you. âIâm leaving tonight. I got an earlier flight.â
âWh- what? No, Seunghyun, please, just-â
âStop. You deserve better. I canât be better. Not now.â Suddenly he stands, running a hand across his face. He starts pacing, slow, but it scares you.
âSeunghyun, I know itâs been hard for you, but I can help, I just want you to open up to me-â
âPlease.â He finally looks to you. His eyes are bloodshot, tears just barely holding onto his lower lashes. âDonât make this harder than it has to be.âÂ
You just stare at him, unable to hold back your own tears. You feel like youâre going to puke. You dig your nails into your palm, swallowing a sob. But you donât speak. You canât, you know it wonât get you anywhere. Heâs still the most stubborn person you know.Â
Seunghyun stares back for about three seconds before looking at his watch, then back to the floor. âI have to go.âÂ
You donât respond. Youâre frozen as you watch your entire life, your whole world grab his bags and head for the front door. You donât know what to say, because how does a normal person react to this? To the love of their life ending everything and moving across the world?
Everything moves slow. Seunghyun is gathering his things, which probably only took him a few minutes, but to you, it felt like years.Â
You slowly walk to the foyer as heâs putting his shoes on. You still just watch him, biting your tongue so as to not beg him to stay, because you know it will only make things worse.Â
Just as heâs about to open the door, he turns back. His eyes study you for a moment, his cheeks tear stained.Â
Then, he drops his backpack and pulls you into a tight hug. His hand cradles your head, just like it used to when you used to have panic attacks and heâd hold you all the way through it. His other hand is flat on your lower back, like how it used to be when heâd guide you through a big crowd, making sure you stayed right by his side.Â
Without even realizing it, you melt into his touch. Your face falls to the crook of his neck, your fingers curling into his shirt, trying to ground him, keeping him in place.Â
You have no idea how long the hug lasts. Maybe minutes. Maybe an hour.Â
After a moment that felt way too short, Seunghyun pulls away. His hand lingers, intertwined with yours.Â
âDonât cut me off.â You say, almost a whisper.Â
He inhales sharply. âI wonât.âÂ
A pause. Neither of you look away. The apartment is silent, almost deafeningly so.Â
âYouâll come back to me?â You ask, voice breaking.Â
Seunghyun doesnât answer right away. Mostly because he doesnât know if he will.Â
But eventually, he nods. Because he canât make it harder on you.Â
You nod too, sniffling. He looks at you for a moment longer, trying to commit you to memory, savoring every last moment with you before he has to leave. But eventually, he does.Â
And as soon as that door shuts, your knees give out.Â
You fall to the floor, sobs spilling out, tears soaking your clothes. You scratch at your arms, tug on your hair, trying to feel something other than the aching hole in your heart, but it doesnât work.Â
You donât know how long you lay on the floor. Youâve counted the ceiling tiles about fifteen times. Youâve drawn blood on your arms from scratching and digging your nails in so deep, but that doesnât register to you.Â
You donât know what to do. Seunghyun was your whole life. Your entire world. And that empty promise of return isnât at all comforting.Â
The thought of never seeing him again, never hearing his laugh, never seeing that beautiful smile, never running your fingers through his hair and laying on his bare chest with his strong arms wrapped around you makes you feel sick.Â
Your head pounds, chest heavy as you drag yourself to bed. The bed is unmade, resembling something domestic, something sweet it once housed.Â
His side is empty though. And itâll stay that way. Maybe forever.Â
Your phone is dry. No sleep well, my love text, no repeated calls, no remnants of him anywhere. Except your lockscreen.Â
You change it often, but itâs always him. Right now, itâs a photo of him you took early in the morning months ago. Heâs in the kitchen making coffee, looking back at the camera and smiling all awkwardly, his eyes still tired, but he looks happy. Even if it was short lived.Â
You stare at the photo for a moment, then throw your phone across the room. The screen is definitely cracked, but you donât care.Â
You eventually fall asleep on his side of the bed, staring at the wall, leaving a tear stain on his pillow.Â
Seunghyun is restless on the plane. His knuckles are white from holding his phone so tightly.Â
Jiyong had called after Seunghyun sent him a very worrying text.Â
Seunghyun: check on Y/N when iâm gone please. tell her i love her and iâm sorry. Iâm sorry to you too.Â
The call didnât last long.Â
Jiyong was worried, tried to pull any information, anything he could use to help, but it just resulted in Seunghyun yelling. Then yelling turned to finality, then hanging up with a distinctive fuck you.Â
Seunghyun regrets it, but he doesnât dare make it right, because thereâs no point. The original plan was to come back to Seoul before DearMoon. But now, thereâs no reason for him to.Â
LA is safe. LA is across the world. LA is somewhere he hasnât ruined yet, somewhere he can exist without fucking up the lives of the people he loves.Â
Because right now, love isnât enough. He knows he canât treat you like you deserve. He wants to. He wishes he could. But wishes wonât undo years of damage, years of depression and isolation heâs put you through.Â
Youâre better off, he thinks. Youâll excel without him there holding you back.Â
Maybe, just maybe, if heâs lucky, heâll get to love you again. But first, he has to learn how to love himself.
a/n- i'm so excited for this series! it's a very happy alternative to new moon, so if i made you sad with that then this is my apology. enjoy!
stendhal syndrome masterlist
Art is the only thing that has ever made sense in your life. The only thing you could ever count on. When everything fell apart, you turned to painting. Itâs the glue thatâs been holding you together for your entire life.Â
And you found a new appreciation for it when you started painting in public. On the sides of buildings, in back alleys behind bars, you didnât see blank walls. You saw canvases.Â
And until now, everything was fine.Â
Itâs about 2AM and youâre just finishing a piece youâve been working on for a week. You always come out at night since itâs usually quiet in your small town at this hour. But tonight, luck isnât in your favour.Â
A black and white vehicle pulls over right next to you. Police are walking up to you before you get the chance to hide.Â
For fuck sakes.
Two officers approach you. Itâs dark, you can barely make out their faces. One steps forward.Â
âWhat are you doing?â He asks, reaching for the handcuffs hanging from his belt. You swallow.Â
âNothing, officers. Just admiring this beautiful artwork.âÂ
The officer laughs. âSo what are you doing with that?â He points to the paintbrush in your hand, still coated in dark purple paint.Â
âOh, this? Itâs nothing. Just something I like to carry around when Iâm walking at night.â You stab the air with the brush. âThese streets can be dangerous, you know? Just a precaution.âÂ
âYouâre going to stab someone with a paintbrush?â He asks. You smile and nod, committing to the bit.Â
âIf the situation calls for it.â You say, and the officer just stares. The other officer steps forward now, brows scrunched.Â
âY/N?â He says, and you almost flinch. âYouâre Ha-Joonâs daughter, right?â
You freeze. You havenât heard your fatherâs name in a long time.Â
After a moment, ây- yes. Did you know him?â
The second officer nods. âFor years. We trained together in the academy for a while. He moved to a different station than me before heâŠâÂ
You nod, urging him not to continue. Your father was a police officer too, but he worked in the city, so you didnât really know any of his coworkers.Â
âWeâre going to let you off with a warning.â He says finally, pushing the other officer back.Â
âWhat? Sheâs vandalizing this building-â
âAnd she wonât do it again.â He says, final. You just stare, the first officer getting irritated and admitting defeat, heading back to the car with a sigh.Â
The second officer steps closer to you. âYour father was a good man. He taught me a lot.âÂ
You nod. âMe too.âÂ
The officer smiles. âMaybe try painting at home, on a canvas instead. And donât let me catch you with an assault charge either.â He gestures to the paintbrush still in your hand, and you nod.Â
âYour father talked about you a lot.â He says, and you feel your stomach drop. But instead, you smile.Â
âHe never mentioned you.â You shrug, and the officer laughs.Â
âIâm Minho. He taught me a lot in training. He was a great officer, always brought good to everyone around him.â He places a hand on your shoulder, and you look back to the car, seeing the other officer looking very annoyed.Â
âI think your partner is mad at you.â You point to the car. Minho turns back and looks, then waves him off and turns back to you.Â
âIgnore him. Heâs new and eager. But seriously, paint at home.â He says, and you nod.Â
âGot it. Thank you.âÂ
Minho just nods, before going back to his car. They drive off, and you just stand there, staring at your painting.Â
You donât hear your parentâs names often. Rarely ever, actually. But every time you do, itâs like a dagger to the chest. You donât cry, you never do anymore. But it almost feels empty, like something is missing. Like a part of you died with them.Â
But seeing that their names live on, that helps. It helps to hear that they still matter to other people than you.Â
-
You tried painting at home. You really did. But canvases arenât the same. Canvases never leave your home studio. They stay there, growing dust, not shown to anyone. You hate that.Â
So instead of taking Minhoâs advice, you move to a new area.Â
A richer part of town, one where police rarely visit. And this time, youâre smart about it.Â
You wear dark clothing. Keep your hood up. You never go out without a cap and a mask, maybe sunglasses if the streetlights are on. You avoid security cameras whenever possible.Â
You do your best to stay hidden. The only part of you that you want the world to see is your art.Â
You find the perfect spot. A dark, back alley behind a club. Itâs busy, so you wait until almost 4AM to go. There aren't any cameras. There arenât any people around. Itâs quiet and small, but public enough that during the clubâs operating hours, itâll be busy.Â
Perfect.Â
You get to work. Youâve been planning this piece ever since you had that conversation with your dadâs friend.Â
A small mural. Abstract, as usual. Dark outer perimeter with colours exploding in the centre, bleeding into the darkness. Parts of the black perimeter are torn as the colour begins to poke through, escaping, freeing itself and finally living.Â
And in the centre, pink roses. Always pink roses. Your momâs favourite.Â
You donât finish it yet, you know this piece will take a while. But you spend almost three hours there, in silence, letting your brush do the talking. When you hear cars pass and the bustling city starting to wake up, you finally pack up and leave.Â
You return home, satisfied with yourself, just in time to get ready for work. And after days of hiding, you feel a little bit more free, smiling as you see those dusty canvases in your studio.Â
-
The sun is just rising as Seunghyun is driving to his studio. Heâs usually not a morning person, but today, he woke up earlier than usual, so he decided to make the most of it. Recording for his new album has been nothing short of difficult, but itâs also been insanely healing.Â
But as heâs driving, he spots something. A splash of colour in a dark alley, one heâs never seen before.Â
He asks his driver to pull over. The driver warns him about being seen, but he just pulls on a mask and sunglasses before stepping out of the car. The street is surprisingly empty, so he slips carefully into the alley.Â
Your painting.Â
Itâs clearly unfinished, sections outlined but not fully filled. The edges are jagged. But he stares at it for a long time. Longer than he intended to.Â
He reaches out and touches the dried paint, tracing the rough brush strokes around the perimeter. Even though itâs not finished, it hits him. He notices how the brush strokes get more aggressive near the edges, then softer and more careful in the middle. He notices the colour choices, the pinks and purples and bright contrasts that make his heart flutter.Â
He studies the artist's style, the artistâs emotions. Your style. Your emotions.Â
Then, he quickly runs back to the car. But instead of getting in, he just grabs his notebook and a pen. Seunghyun returns to the wall and jots something on one of the pages, glancing between the paper and your painting.Â
He rips out the page and places it directly in front of the painting, then places a small rock on it so the wind doesnât take it before it gets read.Â
Satisfied, he takes one last look at the painting, before heading back to his car.Â
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Iced Americano is bitter at first and cold enough to wake you up, simple enough to become a habit, and somehow exactly what you need when everything feels too far from home. Itâs late-night walks, quiet laughter, fingers hidden inside the pocket of his hoodie, and a first love that tastes a little sharper when goodbye gets too close...
A/N: Bar Menu isnât a series in the traditional sense. Each drink is its own moment, its own mood. You donât have to read them all, just the ones that find you đ€
Pairing: Seunghyun (T.O.P) x Reader
Word Count: 3,052 | oneshot
Pick up another drink HERE.
Youâve only been in Seoul for your study stay for two weeks, and youâve already managed to embarrass yourself so many times that youâre honestly grateful no one here really knows you. At least youâll be going back home for the holidays. Youâve always had a talent for attracting awkward situations, and your current stay in Korea is living proof. Take right now, for example⊠After two weeks, convenience store food has become an unbearable, monotonous routine, so you decided to finally eat at an actual restaurant. That turned out to be a huge mistakeâŠ
Thankfully, the Korean BBQ restaurant is almost empty when the staff brings an unbelievably large amount of meat to your table on a rolling cart, turns on the grill, and calmly walks away. You sit there with your hands in your lap, regretting the fact that you didnât just stick to your usual convenience store sandwich.
You turn your head toward the table next to you, where a low, amused laugh comes from. Three guys around your age are sitting there, clearly having the time of their lives watching you and the mountain of meat in front of you. If they werenât here, youâd probably get up and run, but that doesnât seem like a very dignified strategy.
âYou must be really hungry,â a voice behind you says in broken English. You turn around and see a boy heading toward those little mockers at the next table. Before he reaches them, he stops by yours, as if he wants to make you feel even more self-conscious than you already do.
âI am really hungry,â you mumble, trying to ease the weight of your shame and defend yourself with at least some dignity. It has the opposite effect, though, because an even louder burst of laughter comes from the next table.
âI thought so, because otherwise you definitely wouldnât have ordered a portion for four,â the boy remarks, standing beside you with his hands casually tucked into the pockets of his loose jeans. You desperately lift your eyes to him, and only now do you realize how handsome he is. Unlike his friends, he isnât laughing. Heâs looking at you with almost no trace of emotion, and somehow thatâs even worse than if he openly mocked you.
âOh my godâŠâ you whine desperately, hiding your burning face in your hands because itâs the only thing youâre capable of right now. Embarrassing yourself in front of a gorgeous guy is just another thing to cross off your bucket list in Korea. After only two weeks here, you have to admit youâre checking things off at an alarming speed.
âRelax, we got this,â the boy says, clicking his tongue as he looks over at his friends. âHey! What are you waiting for? Get your asses over to this table.â
Thatâs pretty much what your first meeting with Jiyong, Daesung, Youngbae, and⊠Seunghyun looks like. These four quickly become the anchor you look forward to every single day, and you practically run to them the moment your classes end. The boys are trainees, and their grueling daily schedule filled with constant practice seems completely unreal to you. Still, they almost always manage to carve out at least a tiny window of time to spend with you. Youâre unbelievably grateful for that, because theyâre the only friends youâve managed to make in Korea, and thanks to them, you donât feel quite so lonely here. Each of them is completely different, which suits you perfectly. And Seunghyun? To him, youâll forever be âthe girl who was really hungry,â and he loves teasing you about it far too muchâŠ
Today, however, your âbucket listâ doesnât contain any embarrassing or funny stories. It only holds the heavy, gray blanket of homesickness that falls over you the moment you wake up. The first few weeks have flown by, the initial excitement of being in a new country has faded, and reality hits you with full force. You miss your mom, your dad, your friends... Most of all, you miss speaking a language you donât have to think about, a language where you donât have to carefully translate the meaning of every single word before opening your mouth.
Thatâs exactly why youâre now standing in the middle of a busy Seoul street, clutching a postcard with a photo of Namsan Tower in your hand. The postcard has such kitschy, loud colors that it almost makes you physically sick, but youâre sure your parents will like it. In order to send it, however, you first have to find a post office. According to your online map, you should be standing right in front of one, but instead, youâre staring desperately into the window of an electronics store. You turn the map in every possible direction, and you feel like youâre about to burst into tears.
âAre you hungry again and looking for a restaurant?â Seunghyunâs deep, velvet voice sounds behind you. Heâs wearing a huge black hoodie, his hands casually tucked into the pockets of his loose jeans.
Your heart jumps, but a lump immediately settles in your throat. âNo,â you breathe, and because of the tears gathering in your eyes, your voice sounds weaker than you want it to. âIâm looking for a post officeâŠ. But this stupid map claims the post office sells televisions.â
Seunghyun smiles faintly, looks at your phone screen, and then shifts his gaze to your face. His dark eyes study you with that typical unreadable expression of his, but when he notices the glassiness in your eyes, concern flickers through them.
âThe branch that used to be here is closed. The next one is a few blocks away,â he says calmly and nudges your shoulder lightly. âCome on, Iâll walk you there.â
You walk side by side through busy Seoul, and you can barely keep up with his long strides. When, after ten minutes, you finally step into a small, hidden post office branch, panic immediately takes hold of you. An older woman with a strict expression is sitting behind the counter. The moment you try to hand her the kitschy postcard, she launches into rapid, irritated-sounding Korean. You donât understand a single word she says, and she frowns at you tiredly, tapping her fingers against the desk. In that moment, the last tiny bit of courage drains out of you. You feel like youâre going to cry right there under the weight of all that homesickness.
Before you can stammer out a single word, Seunghyun takes a step in front of you and completely shields you from the unfriendly clerk with his broad shoulders. He speaks to her in a calm, deep voice. You just watch his sharp profile in fascination. Under the influence of his calmness, the woman immediately softens, nods, and takes the postcard. Seunghyun pulls a few coins from his pocket to pay for the stamp.
âNo, Iâll pay for it!â you blurt out, fumbling through your wallet in confusion.
âItâs already done, letâs go,â he mutters, gently catching your elbow and leading you back outside into the fresh air. Sometimes his calmness, almost coldness, honestly scares you a little, especially when youâre alone with him.
When you step back onto the street, you let out a tired breath. âThank you so much. You saved me. Will I see you tomorrow after your training?â
But Seunghyun doesnât move and he doesnât react to your words at all. He just shoves his hands deep into the pockets of his loose jeans and looks down at you. âIâm free now, and you obviously miss home and need cheering up, donât you, Big Hunger?â
âIced Americano,â he explains seriously, even though you havenât asked a single question. âItâs the Korean cure for every problem youâll ever have in this country. Drink.â
You take a sip of the bitter, icy drink, and the cold rushes through your whole body, as if itâs pulling you out of that gray lethargy. You look at him and give him your first genuine smile of the entire day. âItâs terribly bitter, but it helps.â
In that moment, Seunghyun smiles faintly for the first time. Itâs only the smallest movement of his lips, but his eyes warm in a way that makes your chest feel strangely full. âTold you. I donât want you crying here. Then youâd get even hungrier, and Iâd have to drag you to BBQ again.â
***
From that night on, everything changes. Wandering through nighttime streets becomes your ritual. SeungHyun takes you into the hidden corners of Samcheong-dong, where traditional houses stand next to modern galleries.
âWhere are we even going?â you ask one evening when he leads you into an alley so narrow that you have to walk close beside each other. âI feel like people donât even live here.â
âThey do,â Seunghyun mutters, glancing at you from the corner of his eye. âBut theyâre asleep. Seoul is prettiest here. No noise, just old rooftops and the sky.â
âItâs magical here,â you admit quietly, and he only hums in quiet satisfaction.
You discover that beneath that mask of a tough, silent boy, he hides an incredible sense of humor. He doesnât laugh as loudly as Jiyong, but whenever you say something funny, he buries his face in his hood and his shoulders shake with deep, muffled laughter.
One evening, you buy small cups of watermelon ice cream and sit down on a bench in a quiet park not far from the YG Entertainment building. Seunghyun starts helping you with Korean, which youâre required to take at university. He patiently goes through your notebooks with you, teaches you the correct pronunciation, and corrects your grammar mistakes.
âTry reading this,â he says, pointing his long finger at one line. You take a breath and, with maximum concentration, manage to get the sentence out. SeungHyun stares at you for a moment with an absolutely stone-cold face.
âWas it that bad?â you ask miserably.
âYeah, I canât understand you at allâŠbut weâll practice,â he says with complete calm, though his eyes sparkle wildly with amusement.
âThatâs not fair! All your vowels sound the same!â you grumble, offendedly stabbing your spoon into your ice cream.
âNot like that,â he corrects you quietly. He places his large, warm palm over yours to stop you from eating. Your heart starts pounding wildly. Seunghyun doesnât pull his hand away. Instead, he slowly turns your palm upward, studies your fingers for a moment, and then firmly laces his fingers with yours. He looks deep into your eyes.
âYou have to open your mouth more when you say it. Iâll show you again.â
From that night on, you no longer walk together any other way than hand in hand. Every time, he hides your joined hands inside the huge, warm pocket of his hoodie.
One afternoon, he even takes you straight to the training center. You sit on the floor in the corner of the mirrored practice room, holding your iced Americano in both hands, watching the boys train, or rather, mostly watching Seunghyun...
The room smells faintly of sweat, floor cleaner, and the coffee you brought with you. The music is loud enough to vibrate in your ribs, and every sharp step of their sneakers against the floor echoes off the mirrored walls. You try to look casual, like being in this room is completely normal and not something youâll probably remember for the rest of your life, but your eyes keep finding him in the reflectionâŠ
The boys are practicing a new choreography, and Seunghyun, who sometimes looks during training as if the whole concept of dancing personally offends him, is suddenly trying suspiciously hard. Every movement is done at one hundred percent. He keeps the rhythm, doesnât deliberately mess up the choreography, and even when Jiyong calls for them to start again from the top, Seunghyun only exhales through his nose and takes his place without complaining. You press your lips together to hide your smile behind the rim of your plastic cup.
Of course, Jiyong notices, Jiyong always notices.
When the music cuts off, the boys collapse tiredly onto the floor. Youngbae falls onto his back and covers his face with his arm, Daesung sits down with a dramatic groan, and Jiyong braces his hands on his knees, breathing hard. Then he looks at Seunghyun first, then at you sitting in the corner, and then back at Youngbae with a grin slowly spreading across his face.
âDo you see this?â Jiyong stage-whispers loudly enough for the entire room to hear. âOur fan should sit here every time, otherwise weâll never turn him into a dancer.â
Daesung immediately starts choking on his laughter, bending forward and pressing a hand over his mouth. Youngbae lifts his head from the floor and looks at Seunghyun with fake seriousness. âNo, heâs right. This is the cleanest run youâve done all week.â
âMaybe all month,â Daesung adds, still laughing.
Seunghyun gives them such a murderous look that you have to bite the inside of your cheek to keep from laughing out loud. His ears, however, betray him almost immediately, turning slightly red under the dark strands of his hair.
âI was dancing normally,â he mutters.
âNo, you were showing off,â Jiyong says instantly, pointing at him. âThereâs a difference.â
âI wasnât.â
âYou absolutely were,â Youngbae agrees, sitting up now, far too pleased with himself.
Daesung looks between you and Seunghyun, his eyes shining with mischief. âY/N, please come again tomorrow. For the sake of the group.â
âDonât listen to them,â Seunghyun says.
âIâm not saying anything,â you answer, still smiling.
âYouâre smiling.â
âIâm drinking my coffeeâŠ.â
âYouâre smiling into your coffee...â
Jiyong makes a delighted noise somewhere behind him, and Daesung nearly falls over again. Seunghyun ignores them all, walks over to where youâre sitting, and crouches down in front of you. He reaches for your iced Americano without asking, takes one sip through the straw, makes a face at the watered-down bitterness, and hands it back to you.
âYouâre distracting,â he mutters so quietly that only you can hear him.
Your fingers tighten around the cup. âIs that a bad thing?â
For a moment, he only looks at you. His dark eyes are still unreadable, but something warm hides beneath the surface.
âNo,â he says at last. âJust annoyingâŠâ And somehow, from him, it sounds almost like a confession.
***
Your first kiss happens a few days later. Heâs walking you back to your dorms, and you hide from a sudden spring rain beneath a small awning in a dark, tucked-away alley. Youâre standing with your back to him when he gently takes your shoulders and turns you around to face him.
âYouâll get soaked,â he whispers, his eyes dropping to your lips.
âI donât mind,â you breathe, unable to catch your breath. âI like rain.â
âI donât,â he murmurs in his deep voice and takes that final step toward you, until your chests are almost touching. âBut right now, I donât mind it.â He gently pulls you closer by your waist and supports your jaw with his other hand. Heâs so unbelievably close. Both of you are shy, tense in the silence and the falling drops around you. When his soft lips finally touch yours, the world around you stops. The kiss is gentle, but beneath that cool surface of the iced coffee you drank a while ago, itâs unbelievably warm.
After that night, itâs as if a dam breaks, and thereâs no way back. During every meeting after that, in every free second, in every shadow of nighttime Seoul, you search for each otherâs lips. The kisses are no longer just shy. They become urgent, long, and deep. Your goodbyes in front of your dorm stretch into dozens of minutes. Seunghyun presses you against the wall, gently runs his fingers through your hair, strokes your back, and every time he pulls away for even a second, one quiet half-breathed sigh from you is enough to make him kiss you again, as if he never wants to let you go.
âI already miss you, even though youâre standing right in front of me,â he whispers into your ear one evening while holding you tightly and hiding you from the wind inside his huge hoodie.
âIâm right here,â you smile and pressing yourself closer to him.
âThatâs not enough,â he murmurs. âI never thought some girl would make me run away from training early.â These quiet, honest confessions rarely fall from him, but that only makes them carry even more weight, and youâre well aware of that.
Mid-June arrives with merciless speed, and with it comes your inevitable flight home for the holidays. You spend your last evening on your bench in the park, holding cups of iced Americano that taste a little more bitter than usual this time. For the last time, you wander through those alleys where every corner reminds you of some moment you shared.
âIâll write to you every day,â Seunghyun says in his deep, firm voice, his thumb stroking the back of your hand as he holds it tightly inside his pocket. âEven if Iâm about to collapse from training.â
You look at him, tears shining in your eyes, the same tears youâve been fighting back the whole time. âAnd after the holidays? When you debut in August? Youâll be famous, Seunghyun and Iâm scared Iâll come back and everything will be differentâŠ.â
He doesnât let you finish. Instead, he presses his index finger to your lips, forcing you to stop talking, and then he kisses you long and sweetly. That kiss carries a promise that doesnât need words. When he finally pulls away, he rests his forehead against yours and looks into your eyes for a long moment.
âWeâll stay in touch, Big Hunger,â he whispers against your lips. âAnd after the holidays, Iâll be waiting for you here. I swearâŠâ
contents- self isolation, depression, both reader & seunghyun's mental health deteriorating.
a/n- short chapter. next chapters that follow will be longer, i promise. next chapters will also be more eventful, i know these are a little repetitive but trust the process
word count- 1k
new moon masterlist
Hiatus used to excite you. It used to mean more time spent with Seunghyun doing things you both loveâfinding underground art exhibits and exploring them together, dinner dates almost every night, laying in bed with your limbs entangled and talking about nothing.Â
Now? Itâs terrifying.Â
Itâs suffocating.Â
And itâs slowly killing both of you.Â
Seunghyun hasnât left the house in a week. Heâs barely eating. Barely speaking, and when you do, itâs more yelling than anything.Â
You try to coax him out, try to entertain him, try to cheer him up. But nothing works. And when you get frustrated, it escalates.Â
âPlease, baby. Iâm worried about you. Youâre going to like this restaurant, and we can just get drinks if you want, then come home.â You beg. Seunghyun doesnât look at you.Â
âIâm sure you can get one of your friends to go with you.â He says, trying to not sound as pissed off as he is, but it doesnât really work.Â
âI want to go with you.â You sit next to him on the edge of the bed, but he still doesnât meet your eyes.Â
âI said no.â His tone is final.Â
âYou canât just stay here forever, you know!â Your voice comes out a little angrier than you intended.Â
âY/N.â He warns, but youâre done.Â
âNo! Youâre going to lose everyone if you keep up this bullshit. Stop feeling fucking sorry for yourself and let me help you!â Just as quickly as you sat, youâre on your feet. You didnât really think before you spoke.Â
âThen fucking leave! Iâm clearly not good enough. Clearly not what you want in a man anymore, right? If Iâm so fucking unbearable, youâre free to go.â He spits, finally looking at you, his eyes bloodshot and exhausted.Â
Your chest aches. You donât say anything, you just sigh and sit down next to him again. Your head falls to your hands.Â
âYou know thatâs not what I want, Seunghyun.â You whisper, but the damage is already done.
He doesnât respond. He just rests his elbows on his knees and studies the wall in front of him.Â
The two of you have never fought before all of this happened. Youâve had disagreements, heâs annoyed you before, but never like this.Â
âI donât know how to help you.â You mutter after a long, silent pause.Â
Seunghyun scoffs. Actually scoffs.Â
âI never asked for your help, Y/N. I never asked for anyoneâs help.âÂ
You look up at him slowly. âI donât know what Iâd do if I lost you.âÂ
Again, he doesnât respond. He doesnât know what to say. His intention was never to hurt you. Of course not. But he doesnât know how to stop hurting you.Â
Maybe you would be better off without him.Â
You reach out and take his hand. He doesnât resist, but he doesnât lean into it either.Â
âI love you. And Iâm worried. Thatâs all this is.â You give his hand a squeeze, but he doesnât return it.Â
A pause. Your words sit heavy in his stomach.Â
Then, he sighs and brushes his thumb across your knuckles. âI love you too.âÂ
Another pause. This time, itâs charged. Tension hangs heavy in the air between you.Â
âIâm sorry.â He mutters.Â
âMe too.â You look up to him, and he copies, then leans in and wraps his arms around you. He buries his face in the crook of your neck, his fingers curling into the fabric of your shirt.Â
You just sit there and hold him for a long time. Neither of you know how long.Â
-
Thatâs how all of the arguments go.Â
Harsh words followed by strained apologies and I love yous that are just muscle memory instead of honesty at this point.Â
No matter what you do, he doesnât change. He tries sometimes, heâll join you for coffee or come to the studio, but those occasions donât last long. He leaves after an hour at most. Then heâs buried in his apartment for days.Â
Jiyong calls often. He always calls you though, since Seunghyun doesnât really answer his phone anymore. Jiyong asks how he is, he proposes outings and asks to come over, but Seunghyun always declines when you bring it up.Â
And once you start getting busy with other projects at work, you and Seunghyun start drifting apart too.
You barely see him anymore. Your friends ask you to go out, and you do, knowing that asking him to join will only result in another fight. You spend a lot of time at work to distract yourself.Â
And eventually, you stop asking him to come out of the apartment at all. You stop forcing him to eat. You stop trying to help, because you know you canât help someone who doesnât accept it. Who doesnât think they need help.Â
Seunghyun never outright asked for space. The truth isâhe doesnât want space.Â
But all he can think about whenever you tell him youâre going out, is that youâre better off. You should go out. You should see your friends, and work, and enjoy your life.Â
His biggest fear is holding you back from doing any of that.Â
Even though he told you he loved you after all of those arguments, you donât know if you believe it anymore.Â
Itâs become more like empty words that he feels obligated to recite instead of a promise, like it used to be.Â
Seunghyun doesnât mention Coachella again. He doesnât mention writing music again. He doesnât mention anything about his job. And you stop asking. Because you know it wonât get you anywhere.Â
Arguments faded, but they were just replaced with silence. Avoidance. A sinking, aching feeling in your stomach whenever you saw his face, heard his voice.Â
You started sleeping at your friendsâ places more often. You started drowning yourself in work.Â
When you and Seunghyun spoke, it felt distant. Not him. Not even close.Â
You knew he was slipping away. You knew you were losing him. But you couldnât bring yourself to admit it. You couldnât say it out loud, because that would make it completely real. That would make it irreversible.
And now, you donât know who needs saving moreâSeunghyun, or you.