dumb bitch

last post here. now on @b4byp0p

YOOOOOOO I'm creating a new blog on my tablet rn and I put in my birthday and it says my birthday is in 69 days nice

tbh I think the main reason for creating another account is because I feel weird with a lot of followers. idk why but I just don't feel like I can do anything. some random no life can star insulating me over small thing I said while venting or smth and ugh idk. I just realized that I always get banned and if not I usually disappear for a long time. creating a new blog is something new

tea and then distraction on tumblr. it's gonna be fine

i hate my body so much

why today? everything at once for what? now I'm getting fuckin flashbacks from when I was texting older guys. god I hate this so much. i almost forgot how much I needed man validation and at the same time I had none father figure and fuck I was only 11 ughh I wanna die so badly I have so many thoughts today and I can't even write about it because I'm not gonna cry todya

I'll make myself go to the store around 8. i have some time. now I'll just stay in bed. sometimes I'll get up to make myself a cup of tea or something but I'm staying in bed and distracting myself

honestly I'm glad I ate a big breakfast bc if I could count this day as fasting I wouldn't eat at all probably today. and honestly I just fuckin can't do it rn. i want this feeling to go away but idk how. I've eaten normally for months so why is it so hard now? I'm working so much this week so if I would go back I know I would pass out especially that I'm not used to skipping meals anymore. even when I'm not hungry I always eat breakfast as first thing in the morning and after some time the second one and ugh fuck I wanna die so bad why I can't even eat like a normal person why I have problems with everything why can't I just be normal

i feel like shit and did have less than 10h to feel good enough to go to the store for groceries. can be difficult bc rn it's so hard not to relapse and I wanna go back to starving myself