I’m the daddy of a little one myself, I’m thinking of taking that step into changing the dynamic of the relationship further . We have an ages and stages thing going on due to my stinkers love of demotion / losing privileges play (there is nothing cuter than watching someone genuinely pout at the fact they lost the privallage of watching power rangers and are being switched to bluey for the next week) . The kiddo has recently expressed they’re really happy with how it’s going (we’re about 6 months in to them genuinely living a 24/7 baby lifestyle ) but there are still a couple of teething pains so to speak and I was wondering how you navigate these?.
1. Public paci usage - I’ve got my little tyke hooked back on his paci for regulation and comfort and he basically never takes it out his gob, this has lead to a couple of unfortunate incidents and tantrums where the boy won’t want to wear it in public ( say for example a cinema showing of Thomas the tank engine) but his behaviour worsens and he gets very anxious, I don’t want to not ever let him leave the nursery again 😆 as I think those moments in public where he fully realises that this is his life now are incredibly affirming / beneficially reinforcing for him, but I also dislike how much genuine worry it causes him.
2. New - I’ve found someone! Got drinking at an abdl event we hit it off, they were incredibly well receptive of the lifestyle dynamic all good. Went on a couple date. Introduced her to the kiddo all good. Something to note is I’m bisexual and this person is woman, my toddler back when he was allowed to be a grown up identified as gay. This dynamic is making his little head spin slightly, do you have any ideas or notions on to help make him feel more at home with his mummy. The little man is currently on a liquid diet and my girlfriend did suggest that she’d be comfy taking lactation supplements so she could nurse him which he has expressed interest in before (idk I’d just love your opinion generally on this as it’s a very unique situation that you also seem to have an insight into)
3 - I’d also just love a breakdown of the small reinforcements you push onto your little one to help keep him in headspace, it was really hard for ours at the beginning to let go and whilst he’s come leaps and bounds into understanding he is not a big-boy anymore it still does occasionally rear its ugly head. The wand with baby food is inspired and we have adopted it! Is there anything else or similar you do that helps keeps your little one’s head nice and correct that I could pinch from you 😆
All the best
Daddy Al
Well, that is a very detailed question if I’ve ever seen one! Thanks very much for asking, I always enjoy diving deep into our dynamic, so that’s ideal.
1. The "paci in public" situation has never really been an issue with my little one. He does love using his paci during the day or night, but isn’t attached to it to the point of needing it in public. That’s something I’ve always paid attention to because I try to be mindful of others around us and wouldn’t like it to be too obvious. Of course, there’s in reality nothing wrong with someone using a pacifier, but it could be surprising or disturbing to some and I wouldn’t want them to be affected by it. That’s only my opinion. How about putting his pacifier in his pocket for reassurance, or replacing it by another way to soothe him such as a small plushie or babyish keychain? Do you hold his hand in the street? Thats definitely something I recommend and do with my little guy. Nothing more reassuring than holding daddy’s hand in public. Otherwise if you have a car, I guess a pacifier inside isn’t an issue and could be a temporary fix to make him feel better!
2. Congratulations on meeting someone, that’s exciting and will for sure bring a new side of your relationship which will be full of experiences. That is something I have also been experiencing the last few months as I also met someone (Woohoo!🎉). You may have seen a few hints in my previous posts, especially when I talked about an “extra pair of hands” to deal with my pamperpacker. 😉 The only difference is that the person I met is a man, so there’s no shift as major as in your dynamic, but the end result is the same. It is very tough for a little one to get used to someone new. Just think about it. You start as a couple, then slowly regress him and now he has to share you as well? Tough! But this is what they need and what will make them happy eventually. However, this must be a common agreement between the two of you that he is OK with it. Once this is agreed, you’ll need to go step by step. Start with a meeting during the day with the three of you, then with a dinner, a picnic, a movie night. Small moments that will help you all bond together and form a “family spirit”. Then once he has gotten used to it a little more, how about your new partner staying overnight? That will be another kind of emotions for your little one. And from then, keep adding little steps to ease into this new lifestyle. Do not force things and make it natural. Don’t go too quick into giving your partner responsibilities with your little one, otherwise that may quickly become too overwhelming for both parts! The time will come and it will be all the more enjoyable and rewarding.
It is all about taking time and making sure everyone is happy and comfortable. I’d be happy to share more about how my little guy and new partner got used to being around each other so that our little family got together nicely! Would you all be interested?
3. Of course, there are a lot of ways to get your little back into the right headspace. I’m glad the wand and babyfood combo was a great inspiration!
Other suggestions that come to mind would be:
- to encourage your little one to babble;
- to set a chart with weekly “babyish” objectives such as having a drooly bib, filling his Pamps, eating with his hands, playing with certain toys, color and animal learning with daddy, etc;
- make sure to use humbling and embarrassing sentences such as “you’re too little for that”, “this is for big boys only”, “do you think someone who messes his Pamps gets to do this?”. There’s never too many of them. Always good to remind him of his place, and blushy cheeks are always cute!
- create a routine around something that you know will make him feel little instantly. More than 2 years ago when I started this new lifestyle with my kiddo, I bought him a classic sticker book where he could create his own animal character and dress them up with the silliest outfits. It was a random purchase and I never thought it would become a routine and something that we would still do together every week to this day! He is now always in a little’s headspace, but whenever I feel like there may be a tiny bit of big boyness trying to sneak past his paddings, I bring out the sticker book, put him on my lap and he falls right back into being a little boy. It will be your job to find what could be the trigger, but it is a lovely thing to have. Kind of like a superpower 😉
I hope this helps, thanks again for those great questions.
- Daddy



















