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Bird wanted arms.

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she refused to lay beneath him, wishing to be his equal, only willing to have sex with him if she was on his side or on top 

adam tried to force her to have sex with him the way he wanted, so she left him and became a demon…

The biggest argument I’ve seen on here against two consenting adults* in a relationship is that said relationship is unhealthy, and therefore should not have a place in fandom. This has been applied to a lot of different pairings for different reasons - villain characters, mental illness, incest - but I think the one that gets the most attention is age differences.

The logic goes like this: age differences are always unhealthy and are therefore also immoral, and we cannot “normalize” this bad behavior lest the children (think of the children!) think that age differences are okay in real life.

If this is you, I have some news that’s gonna rock your world: age differences ARE okay in real life. People marry people older than themselves every day! Right now there are millions of people all over the world in relationships with 3+ years difference between partners and that’s okay. Your personal values - that everyone should be in a relationship with someone close to their own age - are not everyone’s personal values. And, your personal values are inherently subjective yardsticks with no real inherent meaning other than that which you ascribe to them.

“But age differences are abusive!”

Nope. Nu uh, no way. You can have a relationship with 2 people born on the same goddamn day that’s a dumpster fire and you can have a healthy and loving relationship between people with 10 or 20 years between them. Saying otherwise is the worst kind of conservative republican pearl clutching, and if that statement surprises you then you need to take a step back and look at what you’re advocating.

My sister and her husband are six years apart. My parents, 12. I have a friend whose parents have a 26 year age difference. Do you find that personally gross? Maybe - who cares! It’s not your life, and no one else is telling you that you have to marry someone you find old and gross. But it is every person’s individual right to be with the person that they want to (provided that that person is also a consenting adult), and saying “but I don’t think they should be allowed to be together because I personally find it icky,” is literally the far-right’s justification against the LGBT community.

“But what if one of the people is really young and the other is really old!” 

Is the younger person a legal adult? Yes? Then it’s not your problem! Is it unhealthy? Maybe! Power dynamics can be complicated, but complicated ≠ immoral. Half the fun of fandom is taking two people that don’t automatically fit together and figuring out how to make that work.

Do large age differences have the potential for abuse? Sure! Is that abuse pedophilia? That depends - did you answer “yes” to the question about being a legal adult? Then no! It’s not pedophilia! If neither character is a minor, then it’s not pedophilia! Period! End of story!

I made a post talking about a 40 year old dating a 50 year old, and got this comment:

“it’s creepy to normalize such large age differences, yes, and such relationships can have their roots in pedophilia, but they’re not always such”

Pedophilia has GOT to stop being everyone’s go-to word for “things that I personally dislike” because there is literally no way in which a 40 year old dating a 50 year old can be pedophilia. The power dynamics between someone that’s 20 versus 30 can be complicated. But 40 and 50? The difference in power and shared life experiences are negligible.

Your personal feelings of disgust ≠ objective morality.

If you don’t like it, don’t read it.

reminds me of this person here:

Pedophilia is a word that had both a legal and a medical definition, neither of which encompass an 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, or 24 year old. Period. End of story. There are plenty of things you can call a relationship with someone older/someone under 25 that you personally disapprove of. Those are: problematic, toxic, abusive, dangerous, coercive, manipulative, etc. The word that you cannot use is pedophilia, because words have meaning, and that word does not apply.

Also, using medicine as your justification for why someone who’s 23 can still be in a pedophiliac relationship is hilarious, considering the medical definition of pedophilia cuts off at puberty. It’s the legal definition that’s more expansive, not the medical one.

I have a really hot take for you: when it comes to human development, there is no one-size-fits-all approach. Different people reach different developmental milestones at different times, and there can be years of difference from one person to the next. There are people who are 20 years old who are “mentally mature,” and there are people who are 30 years old that aren’t.

Here’s another hot take: the legal definition is important, because where you are in your life is important, and so are the legal ramifications of your actions. If your 16 year old cousin starts dating a 30 year old, there are a lot of things the adults in their life can do. Call the police, for one. Their parents can ground them, take away their phone, take away their car, send them to boarding school, move across the country… the options are limitless. You know what you can do if your 18 year old cousin starts dating a 30 year old? Try to talk them out of it. Their parents could threaten to take away financial support (if the cousin has that), or disown them. That’s about it.

So from here, my question for you is: what, precisely, would you like to change around the parameters of what relationships are pedophilia? Like, are you advocating that there should be legal ramifications, i.e. the government sets an age of consent higher than the legal age, the way they do for alcohol? If a 19 year old is too immature and irresponsible to consent to sex, are they old enough to vote? To sign a legally binding contract? To open a credit card? There are a lot of 19-year-olds who do far more irreparable damage to their lives with credit card debt. Should we just change the legal age from 18 to 25 and be done with it?

Or do you think they should only face social ramifications, i.e. people who are in those relationships should be shunned and shamed?

Now here’s the real question: if you knew a 26 year old in a relationship with a 23 year old in real life, what would you actually do about it? Would you harass them? Talk shit about them behind their backs? Try to intervene? Would you call the police?

A charity shop in Wales is begging people to stop donating copies of 50 Shades of Grey.

Oxfam Swansea’s owner Phil Broadhurst said the shop had become “a retirement home” for copies of the first book and its sequels. They got so many, they built a fort out of them.

Person A: I can’t just believe I lost my virginity in Physics