Love is the Answer

WHAT TO HAVE:

1. A SAFE PLACE – keep all irreplaceable/important documents like your birth certificate, a level certificates, UCAS letters in here. Ideally a concertina folder, or a folder with different sections. Mine is organised by bank stuff, ID, student finance, qualifications, tenancy, and my part time job. Keep this folder in your room and ideally keep a list of what is inside taped to the front.

2. NOTEBOOK – for lecture notes, shopping lists, any notes. At lectures, write the week number, date, module title, etc at the top. If anything requires action (e.g. you have to email someone, read something for next week) circle it, highlight it, underline it, make it clear. When you go home you can make a list of what needs to be done and when. Keep this with you at uni, and when you get home always leave it in the same place in your bag/on your desk. 

3. BINDER – with plastic wallets, dividers if you want. I keep two sections: ‘to do’ and ‘to return’. When a teacher hands me homework or a bit of paper I immediately put it in ‘to do’. When I get home I check ‘to do’ and make a list, decide when to do it. When I’ve done it I immediately put it in ‘to return’. Keep this with you at uni and when you get home always leave it in the same place

4. SEMESTER PLANNER – week numbers going down, mon/tues/wed/thurs/fri/sat/sun going across. Write down deadlines, birthdays, holidays so you can see everything in one place. You might notice two deadlines in the same week. Keep on your wall.

5. WEEKLY PLANNER – print off one for each week, hours of the day going down, days of the week going across. Fill in your classes, society events, etc. Write your goal for that week (e.g. a deadline, or to begin an essay). Keep this in your notebook/binder so if you need to organise a tutorial or to meet a friend, you can quickly check when you are free.

i just want to preface this with saying that this is coming from an able-bodied person who isn’t chronically ill. i don’t want to overstep any boundaries by making a post for chronically ill/physically disabled people, so this post is directed at people with mental illnesses / who are neurodivergent ! of course, if you’re neurotypical you can still use these tips, but they’re not tailored to you !

routine. something my last therapist said to me is that brains affected by mental illness find it harder to function correctly with no rules/boundaries in place, especially in times of stress. so something i’ve found really useful right now is creating a timetable of things i need to do every week / day. include things like school / work tasks, showering, brushing your teeth, feeding pets, exercise and leisure time. you can make a checklist like this, or fully timetable everything like this. this is especially helpful if you had adhd or autism (i’m autistic myself) !

environment. if you’re in your room all day like i am right now, it’s gonna get pretty gross. cleaning can be a great distraction from anxiety, or just everything that’s happening right now, so tidying your room regularly is a double help. you don’t have to clean it every day, but make sure you take any plates / cups / etc to the kitchen every evening, and open the windows for a little bit to keep it smelling okay.

outside. i don’t know about other countries, but in the uk, we’re allowed out for 30-60 minutes per day for exercise as long as we don’t interact with anyone. if this is possible for you, i’d really recommend it. you don’t have to workout or run, but just going for a walk can really put things into perspective and clear your head. i’ve been taking my dog for a walk every day this past two weeks, and it’s made such a difference. even if you can’t go outside, whether for medical reasons or country rules, just sitting in your garden can also help. this is such a karen tip, but it truly does make things easier.

general. general mental health tips also apply here. if you’re not eating + sleeping regularly, you’re gonna feel like shit - quarantine or not. i go into it a lot deeper on this post, if you want some more basic advice. honestly, eating 2-3 decent meals per day, sleeping on a semi-normal schedule and showering at least every two days will go a long way to improving your mood. i know these things are really hard, especially if you’re mentally ill, but that post i linked has some tips on how to reintroduce those things to your life.

be kind to yourself. everyone is struggling. no one has gone through this before, and we’re all trying our best. you don’t need to become a pro musician or be able to run a marathon by the end of all this. you just need to be alive. i’m so proud of you for being here and for trying. you got this.

you have always gotten back up from rock bottom on your own, it just took some time. bad times won’t last forever.

some days are unexpectedly better than others for no particular reason - the future is not completely bleak, there will be beautiful days sprinkled in no matter what you’re going through

it takes time to mend your heart, love yourself and grow into the person you hope to become. it’s ok to have hiccups along the way, it means you’re doing your best.

it’s possible to create a comforting & meaningful life for yourself with what you have at the moment. you may not see it, but sometimes we can be so busy comparing ourselves and wishing we had more things, but forgetting what we do have.

waking up without a reason to get out of bed

feeling extremely tired and unmotivated 

stressful things like exams

having no close friends or people to talk to

disliking yourself or your body

feelings after a heartbreak or failure

all the bad things you’re going through

are loved

deserve to eat

are needed & valued

should take care of yourself

have a future

𝒌𝒊𝒎 𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒋𝒐𝒐𝒏 𝒑𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒔

김남준: color directly influences the soul. color is the keyboard, the eyes are the hammers, the soul is the piano with many strings. the artist is the hand that plays, touching one key or another purposively, to cause vibrations in the soul.

embarrassing moments in the past. things you should have phrased differently. people you wish you still knew. those tiny mistakes that keep you up at night - we are all made up of them. all we can do is move forward.

jealousy of others for already having the success you’re striving towards. as a writing tutor once said, “don’t piss on other people’s chips. because one day when you’re eating chips, you really won’t want them to have piss on.”

the phrase “i’ll be happy when ….” you won’t. the thing you think you’re after won’t satisfy you the way you expect. learn to stop striving and start appreciating.

the feeling that every minute not spent doing the creative activity you love (writing knitting art jogging journalling reading), or every minute not crammed with a form of media or entertainment (music tv youtube audiobook podcast), is “unproductive” or a waste. sometimes u can just sit and listen and experience what the world has given you in that moment.

the idea that someone has an intrinsically better life because they have the clothes or body or holiday or house or partner you crave.

the guilt of not being there for everyone all the time. it’s only our phones that have made us feel we have a duty to be 24/7 in touch. it’s ok to take breaks.

the need to photograph every meal or coffee cup or sunset or outing with friends. not because there’s anything wrong with keeping a record but because the pressure to get the “right” and “perfect” shot decreases the joy of living and experiencing the thing itself.

The idea of a perfect person or a perfect self, we’re gonna have bad days, people are gonna have flaws - it’s what makes us human

♡ exfoliate your face with a face sponge + a moisturizing cleanser once per week ( I like Garnier’s soothing milk face wash with rose water)

♡ exfoliate your skin and lips with a sugar scrub once a week (organic cane sugar + coconut oil + few drops of vanilla extract)

♡ take cooler showers to prevent your skin from drying out

♡ use a body oil right after you shower but before you dry off

♡ moisturize your skin using a nice body lotion and face moisturizer (look for ones with vitamin e or shea butter, or oil-free if you’re prone to acne)

♡ ALWAYS use sunscreen on your body + face ( I use Sun Bums facial or baby sunscreens for my whole body)

♡ take a cool shower after you sweat a lot to prevent acne (never go to bed sweaty)

♡ wash your bed sheets once per week

♡ wear soft cotton or satin pajamas

♡ if it’s cold and windy outside protect your skin with warm clothes, scarves, and hats

♡ use a pumice stone in the shower for softer elbows, knees, and feet, then follow up with lotion and aloe socks

♡ use gloves when washing dishes

♡ purchase a moisturizing hand soap and always carry around hand lotion

♡ use clean-ingredient, fragrance-free detergents to wash your clothes

♡ use a face mask once a week