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i have been binging really badly lately. im seeing my crush in a week and i haveny gotten close to 60kg yet. i recently also changed my gw to 45kg, which would make me bmi 14. im currently bmi 19.6. i will be trying to be more consistent in logging my daily intake, and im stzrting a two-day fast. if i do eat max. 800 cals. my maintenance is about 2k so if i stick to the plan i will be skinny.

lately i have been a size s, which is nice but it subconsciously made me think i dont need to loose weight. i recently bought a size s t-shirt from a shop with notoriously small sizing, and it didnt fit. it gave me a reality check. im not skinny just because i fit into an s.

im starting a two day fast, i need to hit the 50's now.

i almost always wear mascara, because i have very flat lashes and i feel like a man when i dont wear it. its like the only makeup i can wear without feeling itchy or uncomfortable, and i feel really confident wearing it. i recently have been binging a lot, eating up to 2k a day, after hitting my lw of 60.95kg. so im taking away the mascara, or any other type of makeup, till i hit my gw. my lashes will thank me anyway. ive still got 11 kg to go, and i will be seeing my crush mid-school holidays at a program so i need to be pretty.

one of my friends recently admitted to starving herself, and i dont know how to feel. on one hand, no one asked and she just brought it up randomly out of nowhere and it feels kinda attention seeking. on the other hand shes also a really honest person and she tends to overshare. i love her and shes one of my closest friends but its like... really? i think me having lost a bunch of weight while i was gone triggered her even though shes already skinny. she tried asking me how i lost weight and i told her that i lost it in a bad way and refused to tell her how.

Im currently a size us 6-4 but i need to get to 00 now tho. i have to.