Finished all my university papers so I've decided to liveblog my very English reaction to the Prince Harry book for funsies.
I'll format each addition as reblogs so it's easier to follow.
Well it's already interesting...
We've started with Prince Philip's funeral. It's already pretty high key.
"I turned my back on the wind and saw, looking behind me, the Gothic ruin, which in reality was no more Gothic than the Millennium Wheel. Some clever architect, some bit of stagecraft. Like so much around here, I thought."
Honestly it gives me the energy of your third fanfiction where you've just discovered *dramatic techniques*
Jesus fuck page two and he's quoted Shakespeare already.
Still on page two. Literal existential crisis about the existence of heaven.
So apparently Harry linked with Charles and William secretly and they walked around the family graveyard talking about the weather.
Valid British behaviour tbh
Lmao so Harry is referring to William as "Willy" (which is... something) and apparently William was salty and called him "Harold". What a dynamic.
"[Queen Victoria's] father, Prince Edward, was said to be a sadist, sexually aroused by the sight of soldiers being horsewhipped"
Bit of an odd way to describe your ancestor?
"Now you've given me an heir and a spare - my work is done" Charles apparently said to Diana when Harry was born, before going to meet with Camilla.
So many yikes.
Hes talking about Merlin and Arthur and my mind just goes
This man with his whole chest is describing being served fish fingers by footmen with silver platters... this is real.
I know I'm being sarcastic mostly but I do genuinely feel bad for him. He says he couldn't safely hold Charles' hand the morning Diana died because it just encouraged the photographers. The British press really can be the worst and everything about that situation was wrong on so many levels.
"[Charles] had a meeting with Nelson Mandela... and the Spice Girls?"
A lot of talk about Eton. Apparently he bunked off school to get mcdonalds and I can't fault the guy for that.
"Oh please oh please do not let me vomit inside a stag carcass"
Been reading for a while. Most significant thing to report on is he related to lonely cows
Alright folks we've arrived at the nazi cosplay.
Apparently this incident occurred in my hometown?
Disappointed but not surprised.
Resuming because I was too tired yesterday. Honestly nothing too spicy to say about it. I've got to his army training at least.
"How are you Harold?"
"Oh, I dunno. How are you?"
"Not bad."
"How's Kate?"
"Good."
"I miss anything?"
"No. Same old."
Why is this every conversation with my mum though
"The Tory leader denounced me"
And you didn't take that as a compliment?
Finally some tea. William straight up didn't tell him about his marriage apparently yikes
Back with more TMI about his frostbitten dick...
He has addressed royal inbreeding.
Talking about rivalry here "he was married, with a baby on the way, while I was eating takeaway alone over the sink"
A good summary of your 20s tbh
We might be getting some anti brexit sentiment here I'm living for it
Apparently he bought his clothes at TK Maxx. Maybe I officially like Prince Harry now
He's a Friends fan boy and got invited to Courtney Cox's house and tripped on shrooms sounds like quite the evening
Honestly I'm not sure how much of this is actually his own writing, but the way he talks about Meghan is actually really sweet
After their first date he got high and watched Inside Out
Apparently when they first met, the Queen asked Meghan about Donald Trump lmao
SHE THOUGHT PRINCE ANDREW WAS AN ASSISTANT
"Three weeks later I was getting an HIV test at a drop in clinic in Barbados. With Rihanna. Royal life."
William got really triggered about Harry having a beard
Andrew's sex crimes were addressed... briefly, but I'm surprised they were mentioned
Alright I finished it.
I appreciate some of this was a bit sporadic, but honestly a lot of the book didn't really warrant instant reaction.
I've always been so-so about the royal family. I don't like the system, but I also think they're just kind of people who didn't get much of a choice about being born into it. Harry speaks about how until they left he had no direct control over his money, and had never been taught how to really. I definitely believe him on that at least. At the same time, I understand not being able to stomach the complaints of someone living in a mansion... It's not cut and dry for sure. With that though, I acknowledge and remind that I am both white and British and those who've been impacted by the role of the British empire and stolen wealth especially have the right to make a firm judgement.
It was also quite personal, especially towards the end. Will and Kate don't come off in a good light. I'm never one to believe a singular account of a story without the other side though, so I can't make a judgement on that really. For context, a lot of the media has pointed out reactions of 'airing dirty laundry'. I also get that. At the same time... considering how much shit the press put them through I actually do understand wanting to put out his truth. To be fair, the press didn't shy away from intimate details on him either.
The reason I bought the book in the first place was honestly because I don't trust reporting these days. And the press certainly overstated the juicy details. They're there, sure, but the book mostly felt like a condemning of the tabloids and journalists. It was pretty much the central theme throughout. None of this was of course mentioned by reporting on the topic.
All in all... I mean the book read well? Also pretty interesting in general, since I guess being born into instant fame is one of the most unrelatable things that could happen to someone. If anything comes out of it, I hope someone at least picks up the points on the tabloid press. It feels like a conversation that should be had.
