completely un-guilty obsessions

Masterpost

I decided to just upload this as one article as it's a continuous story. It is pretty long, though!

Maya: Over there, Nick. Hurry up! 

Pearl: That won’t do, Mr Nick. You have to hurry. 

Ema: Come on, it’s time. The event’s about to start! 

Phoenix: What’s going on, why are you all… Huh? This is...

Maya: It’s the Gatewater Imperial Hotel. From our memories! 

Bellboy: …We’ve been waiting for you, Mr Wright. 

Phoenix: I…it’s you! You’re definitely… the bellboy from the Gatewater Hotel! 

Bellboy: That’s true. We’ve become “big” thanks to you... Both the hotel, and myself. (1)

Maya: Thank you so much for this! It looks like we’ve all been invited. 

Phoenix: Invited…? 

Maya: You know. This is the hotel that served as the setting for the final case in Ace Attorney 2, isn’t it?

Ema: That brings back memories, Farewell, My Turnabout. I was on the edge of my seat when I played. 

Bellboy: Actually, to celebrate the release of the DS version of Ace Attorney 2, we’re holding a major event. 

Pearl: “Mystery Tour: Uncover the truth behind the murder of the Brass Samurai - Bojack Marshall!” - That kind of thing! (2)

Maya: It’s to commemorate the fifth anniversary of that Steel Samurai murder case.

Phoenix: Don’t go commemorating things like that…

Bellboy: We’d like you to solve the mysterious murder case that occurred at this luxury hotel once and for all! 

Ema: It’s a game where the participants compete to see who’s the best detective, right?

Maya: Exactly… And Nick will be giving it his all as the guest solver, too.

Phoenix: Why me?! 

Maya: Well. You were involved in the case weren’t you, Nick?

Bellboy: Yes. You’re drawing attention, albeit lukewarm, from the other participants.

Phoenix: Ugh….

Bellboy: Let’s head to the venue. The guest idol singer’s performance has already started. 

** * * *

Ema: Woah, there’s quite the crowd here.

Maya: Ah! That’s Larry. Hi there! 

Larry: Yo, Nick… Hey! Don’t look away from me! 

Phoenix: What is it? Are you joining in with this weird event too?

Larry: No, I’m just… here for my part time job, that’s all.

Pearl: A part time… job?

Larry: I’m delivering ramen. A customer here ordered it. 

Phoenix: Well then, go home already. I don’t want to deal with even more trouble on top of everything else.

Larry: Don’t be crazy! That’s Boron, the idol, singing over there, don’t you know? (3)

Maya: Ah. So you don’t just like models then, Larry?

Larry: We’ve already bumped uglies. I’m going to stick around a little longer and have fun! (4)

Bellboy: Alright, then. We’re about to start the event! 

Ema: Oh, it’s finally starting! I’m so excited! 

Bellboy: Well then. A crime has occurred! A body has just been found in the Brass Samurai show dressing room!

Maya: A dead body in the dressing room, huh… That reminds me of that case.

Phoenix: Maya, you went through such a terrible ordeal that day, yet you’re still managing to smile. 

Maya: Well, I went through something even worse after that. So it’s no big deal.

Pearl: Let’s get right to it then… to the dressing room!

** * * *

Ema: Ah! I found the corpse!

Maya: It really does look “dead”... Ah. It’s Will Powers! 

Powers: …………

Phoenix: Uhm. What are you doing here?

Powers: ……

Maya: He ignored you.

Phoenix: Well, it is what it is I guess. He is a “corpse” after all. 

Pearl: I can’t help but think. You should be more selective about the jobs you take…

Powers: …T-terribly sorry.

Maya: Anyway. We need to investigate the crime scene.

Ema: Ah. Leave it to me! Here. I brought this with me! 

Maya: Oh. A fingerprint detection kit! As you’d expect from the science wizz! 

Ema: Well, I’ll go check it out. 

Phoenix: Yeah, you’re super reliable. Really makes my life easy. 

Maya: So? How is it, Ema?! Find anything?

Ema: The culprit left plenty of clues behind! They’re all over the place.

Phoenix: Is that so? Well, we can just examine those fingerprints, and the case will be solved…

Ema: That’s… well. The things they left behind are a bunch of glove marks.

Maya: Glove marks… what does that mean?

Ema: In other words, it looks like the culprit was wearing gloves! 

Phoenix: ……What a monumental step forward….

Pearl: Ah. Uh. I have an idea.

Maya: Oh, here it comes! Pearly’s signature quick wit! 

Pearl: I think we should summon the victim’s spirit and ask them for the culprit's name! 

Maya: Breaking the series taboo so effortlessly - that’s just like you, Pearly!

Phoenix: No, no, no! Hold it! 

Maya: What is it? You’re trying to interrupt?

Phoenix: This is just an event. There’s no way the victim’s spirit will appeal, is there?!

Maya: Hm, now you mention it.

Ema: If anything were to appear… it would be the “victim” from five years ago. The real one.

Pearl: Kyaaaaah! 

Phoenix: Good grief. So, we’re at a dead end…?

Maya: Heheheh… How naive of you, Nick. 

Phoenix: Huh?

Maya: I’ve figured it out. With “Maya’s knockout deduction!” 

Phoenix: W…Whaaaaaat?!

Maya: …Got it? The key to everything is miso ramen.

Phoenix: Huh? M-miso ramen…

Maya: Look. It’s right there on the table, you see? A bowl of ramen with the rest of the leftover food.

Phoenix: Ah… I bet they ordered room service from the hotel.

Maya: It’s sweet… Or, rather, it’s salty, Nick.

Ema: W-what do you mean by that, Maya?!

Maya: This soup… it has a complex umami flavour and a rich depth.. I remember it from somewhere.

Phoenix: Don’t drink it. 

Maya: Zvarri! I’d say it’s the red miso ramen from “La Rameneria” in front of the station!

Pearl: As expected of Mystic Maya! 

Maya: I saw someone… a member of staff from “La Rameneria” in this hotel.

Phoenix: You don’t mean…

Maya: Think back carefully. He was there, right? That part time ramen shop employee who seemed out of place.

Phoenix: A…ah…. L-larry Butz! 

Maya: If something smells, it’s always the Butz… The culprit is Larry! 

Pearl: As expected of Mystic Maya! 

Ema: Scientifically speaking, there’s no contradiction! 

Larry: Guh..! You’re sharp, Maya! 

Phoenix: …So you were there, were you?

Maya: Hehehe… Nothing is impossible for Maya, after all. 

Bellboy: Well, everyone. The culprit is this Larry, that’s your answer…?

Edgeworth: Objection! Heheheh… What a farce.

Phoenix: E…Edgeworth! …What are you doing here?

Edgeworth: I just so happened to be nearby. I heard the whole thing.

Maya: …I think he’s just jealous he wasn’t invited as a guest.

Edgeworth: Your conclusion is completely amateurish… that’s right. As per usual, hm? 

Phoenix: W-what…?

Edgeworth: Consider it. A crime occurs, and it turns out Larry Butz is the culprit… There’s absolutely nothing surprising about that, is there?

Phoenix: Well… you have a point.

Larry: I’m not buying it! 

Edgeworth: May I? If it were me… I would want to focus on this data.

Ema: Ah. That’s the fingerprint data I collected.

Maya: But. No fingerprints were found, right? All that was left was the imprint from a glove...

Edgeworth: …You’ve misinterpreted the data.

Phoenix: Huh….?

Edgeworth: The culprit left glove marks all over this room… Yes. All of them are from the left hand.

Ema: Ah! So they are. All of them are from the left…

Edgeworth: It’s not as though fingerprints are the only way to reveal the truth. Left hand marks all around the room… what does that tell you?

Maya: Ah! M-maybe, the culprit…

Ema: Couldn’t… use their right hand! 

Edgeworth: Precisely. And, as far as I can tell… there’s only one person whose right hand… is occupied. 

Phoenix: Ah…Ah! No way… no way! 

Edgeworth: Bellboy. Why don’t you put that down, now? That… tea set. 

Bellboy: As expected… of you. Mr Prosecutor, Sir. 

Edgeworth: Ever since you appeared, you’ve been holding that heavy tea set. It was quite literally a clue hiding in plain sight. (5)

Maya: Come to think of it… He was holding it when we first met, too. That set…

Edgeworth: The culprit is… yes. It was the host, the Bellboy! 

Pearl: As expected of Mr Prosecutor Edgeworth! 

Ema: Scientifically speaking, there’s no contradiction! 

Phoenix: Gr…! Looks like I’ve been outsmarted this time…

****

Larry: …Uhm. I don’t know how to put this, but-

Phoenix: Hm? Ah. Sorry about calling you the culprit, Larry. 

Larry: No. Actually.. Well. It’s hard to say this. I… well, you know-

Phoenix: Huh? What is it?

Larry: The red miso ramen from La Rameneria was the correct answer.

Edgeworth: Y-you mean to say…

Larry: It’s too bad, Edgey. I wear gloves too, when I deliver orders.

Edgeworth: N-no way! Then, why?! Why are there only left hand marks?! 

Larry: No, well, that’s just unavoidable. 

Edgeworth: Meaning…?

Larry: It was before the event, you see. I just so happened to meet Boron. 

Maya: Boron… You mean, the guest?

Ema: Ah, the idol singer. I thought you said you “bumped uglies”. (4)

Phoenix: Hm…? Ah. “Bumped”...?

Larry: You know what I mean, don’t you? The hand that bumped fists with an idol, you can’t use it for a while. Even for me. 

Phoenix: So. Then… In the end, you’re the culprit?

Larry: Man, that’s exactly what I expected from Maya! 

Edgeworth: N-nghoooooooh! 

* * * * *

Maya: …Well. Sometimes that’s just how it goes, Prosecutor Edgeworth! 

Pearl: As expected, Mystic Maya is amazing! 

Ema: When something smells, it’s always the Butz… Well, it seems like this was a more advanced lesson. 

Phoenix: Well, well. Looks like you went out of your way just to make a fool of yourself, huh, Edgeworth?

Larry: Here. Have this voucher for La Rameneria as a consolation prize.

Edgeworth: I don’t want it! 

Notes (1) I'm not sure that this sounds quite as dirty in Japanese but it's still a little...

(2) I think this may actually have an official localisation - but I couldn't easily find what it was (and there was very little to google). I just chose 'brass samurai' because the original translated more like '? samurai' which doesn't work out as well in English

(3) The name given is written "Boran" in katakana - all I could find when I googled this was boron clusters.

Masterpost

Okay, so to explain this one, this is technically a different book. It's kind of a bonus, I suppose? It features articles and dialogues that came out after the main set. These are a lot 'rarer' - and may be the first time you'll see some of this art!

Maya: Hello! I’m Maya Fey! 

Phoenix: Long time no see. I’m Phoenix Wright. 

Maya: I think the release date is tomorrow, right? The DS version of Ace Attorney 2… I’m so excited! 

Phoenix: That’s right… Well, I guess it doesn’t have much to do with us though.

Maya: Huh?! What do you mean, Nick? Don’t tell me… you’re not planning on buying it?

Phoenix: W-well, see. We’ve already played it a bunch, haven’t we? Back in the day.

Maya: C’mon, I’ve completely forgotten it! Don’t you want to play again?! 

Phoenix: Ah…well. Actually this month has been pretty tough. I’m broke right now. 

Maya: Ugh… Come to think of it, I haven’t had many snacks lately. 

Phoenix: So, that’s the situation. Why don’t you drink some water and tough it out?

Maya: Huh?! I want to play. My heart’s already on fire! 

Phoenix: Well, look. Why don’t you just play the Game Boy Advance version?

Maya: But! The game cartridge went missing, didn’t it?! 

Phoenix: Well… My office is a little messy after all. 

Maya: If you’re using the word “little” to describe this room, the God of “little” is gonna get mad. 

Phoenix: Anyway, if you rummage around a bit, maybe it’ll turn up. Why don’t you start searching?

Maya: Ugh. I guess it can’t be helped… I’ll try checking the toy box.

Phoenix: Don’t call it a toy box. It’s an evidence storage box.

Maya: There! Why’s there some kind of banana in it? Isn’t it going to go bad?! 

Phoenix: No, no. That’s a glove, I think. 

Maya: Huh? …A glove?

Phoenix: From “The Lost Turnabout”. I had a case like that, didn’t I? 

Maya: There was. From back then, come to think of it! It’s from that…? 

Phoenix: Oh. A ball is also in the draw. It looks like the glove is trying to catch it. 

Maya: Kyaaah! What?! This is definitely a banana, isn’t it?!

Phoenix: Ah, sorry… Well, that’s good, right? You found a snack.

Maya: Ughhh… Ah. So the thing you threw was Pearly’s ball? 

Phoenix: Ah. Is that the ball she was holding when we first met? In the Reunion, and Turnabout case. 

Maya: That brings back memories. I saved up all my allowance just so I could buy her this ball. 

Phoenix: Huh? This was expensive then? 

Maya: I’ll never forget it. It was $7.80! 

Phoenix: Ah……. hm?。

Maya: What’s wrong Nick?

Phoenix: What’s this, some kind of dried up carrot?  

Maya: Ah, that! I got that carrot from Moe! 

Phoenix: “Moe”?... Ah. From the Turnabout Big Top case.

Maya: Apparently, if you grate this up and drink it, something amazing happens. 

Phoenix: “Something amazing”...? 

Maya: Why don’t we give it a try? Hold on. I’ll go make some juice. 

Edgeworth: ………Wright! 

Phoenix: Oh, Edgeworth. What’s wrong?  You’ve got your usual “worried to death” look on your face. 

Edgeworth: I think it’s better than your own “about to starve to death” expression. 

Maya: Here, here, Prosecutor Edgeworth. Have some delicious carrot juice! 

Edgeworth: Hm. Well. It’s not that I dislike it but…

Phoenix: …How is it? Though, your face looks even more worried than it was before. 

Edgeworth: Actually… Just now, out of the blue. A question came to mind that I absolutely must know the answer to. 

Maya: Question…? What is it?

Edgeworth: In the human body… how many pieces of “cartilage” are there? (1)

Phoenix: ……..

Maya: ……..

Phoenix: Maya, just throw that carrot away.

Maya: I thought it was kind of funny though, at least to me. 

Phoenix: So? Why did you come here, Edgeworth?

Edgeworth: What are you talking about… It’s this.

Phoenix: Ah! That. The DS version of Ace Attorney 2? 

Edgeworth: The other day, when I placed my pre-order… that girl asked me to get one for her too. 

Maya: Kyah! Thank you for going out of your way. Today’s the release day! 

Phoenix: Making this guy run errands for you… Typical Maya. 

Edgeworth: So that’s the situation… Wright. I want you to pay for this. 

Phoenix: Huh?

Maya: Oh, sorry! Mr Prosecutor actually loaned me the money.

Phoenix: Didn’t I just tell you this month was going to be tight?! 

Maya: But. But. I still wanted to have some fun, didn’t I? As the heroine. 

Phoenix: First of all. With all this commotion, you’ve surely remembered the cases from game 2 by now! 

Maya: Well, I guess so… Wait.

Phoenix: What’s that scrap of paper? 

Maya: This brings back memories too. It’s a receipt from the Gatewater Imperial Hotel. 

Edgeworth: “Imperial”... I seem to recall that name. 

Maya: See. A murder occurred at that hotel, didn’t it?! The Farewell, My Turnabout case. 

Edgeworth: Ah… It seems I’ve finally remembered. 

Maya: After the trial, we all went out for dinner together. A full course meal! 

Phoenix: Ah, I remember! That’s a really nice memory, huh? 

Edgeworth: I also remember. That’s right… it’s an important memory.

Phoenix: If I remember right, Detective Gumshoe made a reservation under my name - without asking me. 

Edgeworth: And then, I was the one who paid… I covered the bill for you as a loan.

Phoenix: Huh? Oh…wait. I-is that right…?

Edgeworth: On the back of that receipt… Take a look at the signature.

Phoenix: M…Miles Edgeworth….

Edgeworth: I’d completely forgotten. Thank you for reminding me. 

Maya: You’re welcome!

Edgeworth: While I’m here. I’d also like you to pay me back for this. This… $1800 too. 

Phoenix: Gyaaaaaah! 

Maya: Alright. Let’s play Ace Attorney 2! It’s nice to look back on fond memories, huh! 

Phoenix: ….From where I’m standing, I can’t quite agree to that opinion. 

Note

Masterpost

Note, while this was the final article in the main set for the original trilogy, there are still a couple of extra ones to follow up!

Final Farewell

Phoenix and the others have come to the airport to see Edgeworth off on his journey. It’s time to say goodbye to Ace Attorney too. A special chapter written for the fanbook! 

Pearl: Mr Nick, this way! Hurry up! 

Maya: Good luck, Prosecutor Edgeworth! 

Edgeworth: I’m very grateful you came all the way to the airport to see me off.

Pearl: Uhm. How long until you come back…?

Edgeworth: I don’t know for sure… roughly in three years, I expect?

Phoenix: That’s quite a while. Will your inspection really take that long?

Edgeworth: In all likelihood. I plan to tour legal communities around the world.

Maya: As a memento until we meet again, please give me that fluttering thing on your chest! 

Pearl: Kyah! I want one too! 

Maya: Ah. Of course, one for Nick too. That’s three of them.

Edgeworth: No way! Without this, people won’t know who I am…

Maya: Pleaseee! Or, alternatively, how about the second button from your shirt?

Edgeworth: T-the second button…?

Maya: See. Pearly can have the first button, and Nick can also get the third one!

Edgeworth: No way! Wouldn’t my shirt end up all fluttery?

Maya: Well. That’s fine, isn’t it? It would match your fluttering chest

Edgeworth: But, it’s hardly as though “fluttering” is the theme by which I live my life. 

Maya: I could have sworn you lived for the fluttering. 

Pearl: Ah. Please bring me a souvenir when you go on a trip too, Mr Nick! 

Phoenix: B-but I don’t plan on taking any trips.

Maya: I’ll show some restraint… with that old badge on your collar. 

Edgeworth: Don’t fight, there’s only one to go around. That old badge, I mean. 

Phoenix: Nah… Without this, nobody would know who I am.

Maya: …Stingy. 

*****

Pearl: I still don’t see him yet… The whiskered Detective. 

Phoenix: You’ve got some good in you too, you know. Offering to take him with you like that.

Maya: So Gumshoe is finally expanding overseas, huh? I’m so jealous. 

Edgeworth: Apparently his salary got cut again yesterday... I just so happened to overhear.

Phoenix: “Just so happened”... whose fault was it in the first place, huh?

Edgeworth: 'A leisurely trip overseas is a dream come true…' He said, with tears welling in his eyes.

Phoenix: Still, that’s pretty generous of you. You’re covering his travel expenses too, right?

Edgeworth: D-don’t say such weird things. I managed to pull some strings and get it classed as a business trip.

Maya: You prosecutors sure can do anything, huh? 

Phoenix: It’s kind of late, though. Shouldn’t you give him a call?

Maya: What if he’s still at home eating dinner?

Edgeworth: He had better not be! Boarding for this flight starts in 10 minutes. 

Phoenix: But. We are talking about Detective Gumshoe, after all.

Edgeworth: It can’t be helped… I’ll contact him. 

Gumshoe: It… It’s all gone wrong! I’m finished! 

Edgeworth: D-detective! Why… are you still at home?! 

Gumshoe: It’s nowhere! I can’t find my boarding pass! 

Maya: A crack appeared on Prosecutor Edgeworth’s forehead…

Edgeworth: What… What the hell are you doing?! 

Gumshoe: It’s been two hours now…. Uhooooogh! 

Edgeworth: Hm? What is it?! 

Gumshoe: Huh? What do you know? It was wedged under the phone receiver! 

Edgeworth: How on earth… Did it end up thereeee?!?!

Maya: Woah… A crack appeared in Prosecutor Edgeworth’s phone…

Gumshoe: It’s okay! I’ll be right there! Once I’ve finished eating! 

Edgeworth: Tch! You had better pray your next performance review… never comes! 

Maya: That’s rough, huh? Even as a prosecutor. 

Edgeworth: I-it seems he… won’t be able to make it.

Phoenix: How do I put this? Your voice is pretty loud. I could hear every word.

Edgeworth: …Hmph.

** * * *

Larry: Hey! *cough cough cough cough*

Maya: Ah! That voice… that’s Larry! 

Phoenix: You’re being flaky. I thought you were in bed with a cold?

Larry: What’s with you, huh? Were you planning to just slip away without a word? Edgy! 

Edgeworth: Are you… okay? Your face is extremely pale.

Larry: Yeah. I caught a nasty cold. From my girl Nobimubayai. (1)

Maya: Nobi… Huh? Which girl is that?

Phoenix: You’ve been going in a different direction recently, haven’t you?

Larry: Don’t be so cold! I even brought a present!

Maya: Huh!! That’s so thoughtful of you, Larry. 

Edgeworth: But… no matter how I look at it, it’s like a handbra…?

Larry: No. It’s a “poem”. My gift to you. 

Edgeworth: T-thank you for the effort… but I’m not in the mood to listen to a man’s poem. 

Phoenix: It’s alright. Go ahead and recite something that’ll really get under his skin.

Larry: Alright. Listen carefully… Ahem. 

Sa d to see you go 

Yo ur next dawn is near 

Na rly tears to wipe away 

Ya nk that trumpet 

Phoenix: What’s this? Why have you written it so weirdly?

Larry: Hm? Ah. There’s a trick to this “poem”. Like magic. 

Pearl: Magic trick…?

Larry: Pick out the first letters on each line of the poem, and read them vertically. 

Maya: Okay, so… “sa” “yo” “na” “ra”... Ah. I see! (2)

Edgeworth: W-what an absurd display of passion. F-fine then. I suppose I should say thanks. 

Maya: Hah… Ah! Prosecutor Edgeworth, your eyes are welling up! 

Phoenix: This guy… He’s just not so good with those “heartwarming” presents. 

Maya: Ah… Come to think of it, Shu Takumi didn’t show up in the end, huh?

Pearl: I was really looking forward to seeing him again after so long. 

Phoenix: He did say something like, since this is the last time, I’ll say my goodbyes! 

Larry: No… Actually, it looks like he said his goodbyes properly.

Phoenix: W-what do you mean?

Larry: Well, I’m not entirely sure. But he said the hint was “poetry”. (3)

Phoenix: Hm… I do like Shu Takumi and his… magic tricks. 

Maya: Well, maybe you should read it again. Start from the beginning. 

Phoenix: Anyway. It’s about time. I can hear the announcement. 

Edgeworth: Well then… I suppose I should head out soon. 

Phoenix: A temporary farewell, then? …Take care, Edgeworth.

Larry: Hey. I’m counting on you guys. Now, and in the future.

Edgeworth: Hm. Just because the curtain falls on this story… doesn’t mean our lives come to an end.

Phoenix: …That’s the way it is, huh?

Maya: The perfect way to wrap things up, as always. Well then, have a safe trip!

Notes:

(1) I just wrote out the katakana here in romaji. Sadly I don't really get this joke! It's similar to the other girlfriend name, though.

(2) I clearly had to mess around with the poem a bit. That said, this isn't too far off the vibe of what the original meaning was.

(3) Yeah so I know my own limits and attempting to not only understand, but translate, cyphers in Japanese is that limit I'm afraid :')

Masterpost

This time, I've decided to upload two articles at once. This is because they very directly relate to each other, and don't make a ton of sense separately. You'll see what I mean.

Turnabout and Goodbye - 1

Summoned by a younger Mia, attorney Armando arrived at ‘Cafe Yesterday’. With Mia’s first court appearance around the corner, what advice does Armando have for her?! 

Armando: What’s up, Kitten?  You called me out of the blue.

Mia: Ah. Armando…

Armando: It’s looking like today’s the “big showdown”, then?

Mia: It looks like it’ll be a long battle. Even though it’s only just begun. 

Armando: ‘Defending a death row inmate who escaped prison and is accused of murder’... that’s a reckless challenge only you could take on. 

Mia: I’m sorry… I just really wanted you to stick by me through this. 

Armando: It would be my honour. I’ll stick by you for a round… Can I get a mocha?

Waiter: …Yes, right away.

Mia: I haven’t eaten anything since yesterday since I’ve been preparing for today. I feel like I’m gonna die.

Armando: Is that why you’ve been drinking nothing but coffee today? Are you okay?

Mia: I’m already on my third cup.

Armando: You’ve still got a long way to go. I aim for 17 cups in court. 

Mia: This thick stack of documents. I’m completely overwhelmed… I don’t even know where to start! 

Armando: The incident took place on the suspension bridge, huh?

Mia: If I lose… it’ll be a guilty verdict. I won’t make up for it my whole life! 

Armando: Oh boy… you’re already pale. 

Mia: I honestly feel… Like I’m gonna throw up. 

Armando: But, if you win… your photo will be all over tomorrow’s newspaper.

Mia: Waiter. I’ll take another mocha.

Waiter: Are you sure? You’re drinking it pretty slow…

Armando: The darkness coiled inside the cup… Once it’s in your mouth, you have no choice but to swallow.

Mia: …Why did I get myself into this? I just want to run away. 

Armando: You’re not the type to just run away and leave all your responsibilities hanging out, are you?

Mia: I can’t help but think. What would Maya do at a time like this…?

Armando: Your little sister? 

Mia: She’s the kind of girl who always sees things through the end… People would laugh, if they saw me like this. 

Armando: This kind of thing, no big deal…? I doubt that. 

Mia: Here, this is a photo of her. She’s always watching me from inside this case. 

Armando: Hm… That’s actually touching.

Mia: Ugh… I seriously can’t do this.

Armando: The sound of you sobbing to the sound of jazz music…huh? How touching. 

Mia: I-I’m not crying yet! 

Armando: There, wipe those tears away. How about I tell you something good?

Mia: W-what is it?

Armando: …..A lawyer is someone who smiles no matter how bad it gets. 

Mia: Uhm… Could you please help me out with this battle? 

Armando: I’m no superman. I’m just a good-for-nothing guy doing the best he can.

Mia: That’s…

Godot: Anyway. Why don’t you… try thinking about something fun?

Mia: …Okay. I saw a delicious looking cake shop. On the way home… will you come with me?

Armando: Ah. Of course, okay with me.

Mia: Hm… I’m glad. 

*** * * *

Armando: Looks like our time’s up… Shall we go to court?

Mia: …Please. Have my back in there.

Armando: This is the start of the battle… I think that’s fine? Just like this. 

Mia: Alright. Let’s go! 

Turnabout and Goodbye - 2

Maya called Phoenix to the ‘Tomorrow Noodle Shop’...? What advice does Phoenix have for Maya as she throws herself into this grand plan?!  

Phoenix: What’s up, Maya?  You called me out of the blue.

Maya: Ah. Nick…

Phoenix: It’s looking like today’s the “big showdown”, then?

Maya: It looks like it’ll be a long battle. Even though it’s only just begun. 

Phoenix: Eat 20 bowls in half an hour, and you’ll get fifty dollars… that’s a reckless challenge only you could take on.  

Maya: I’m sorry… I just really wanted you to stick by me through this. 

Phoenix: It would be my honour. I’ll stick by you for a bowl… Can I get a tonkotsu?

Owner: Got it! One tonkotsu coming right up! 

Maya: I haven’t eaten anything since yesterday because I’ve been preparing for today. I feel like I’m gonna die.

Phoenix: Is that why you were only drinking water yesterday? Are you okay?

Maya: I’m already on my third ramen. 

Phoenix: You’re not even halfway there?! You’ve still got 17 bowls left. 

Maya: This thick char siu.  I’m completely overwhelmed… I don’t even know where to start! 

Phoenix: The incident occurred on a pair of chopsticks, huh?(1)

Maya: If I lose… I owe 100 dollars. I won’t make up for it my whole life! 

Phoenix: Oh boy… you’re already pale. 

Maya:  I honestly feel… Like I’m gonna throw up. 

Phoenix: But, if you win… your photo will be all over tomorrow’s newspaper.

Maya: Hey! I’ll take another miso soup! 

Owner: Are you sure? You’re eating pretty slow! 

Phoenix: The noodles all coiled up in the bowl… Once it’s in your mouth, you have no choice but to swallow. 

Maya: …Why did I get myself into this? I just want to run away.

Phoenix: You’re not the type to just run away and leave all your menma hanging out, are you?

Maya: I can’t help but think. What would my Sis do at a time like this…?

Phoenix: M-Mia? 

Maya: She was the kind of girl who always finished the food on her plate… People would laugh, if they saw me like this. 

Phoenix: This kind of thing, no big deal…? I doubt that. 

Maya: Look, this is a photo. She’s always watching me from up on that counter.

Phoenix: She… actually finished the whole thing?!

Maya: Ugh… I seriously can’t do this.

Phoenix: The sound of you sobbing to the backdrop of enka music…huh? Please don’t throw up.  

Maya: I-I’m not throwing up yet! 

Phoenix: There, wipe that greasy sweat away. How about I tell you something good?

Maya: W-what is it?

Phoenix: …In times like this, you should smile no matter how bad it gets.

Maya: Uhm…  Nick. Could you please help me out with this battle? 

Phoenix: I can’t handle chashu ramen. I’m a guy whose stomach is full of tonkotsu. 

Maya: That’s…

Phoenix: Anyway. Why don’t you… try thinking about something fun?

Maya: …Okay. I saw a delicious looking cake shop. On the way home… will you come with me?

Phoenix: Huh?! You still want to eat?! 

Maya: Hehe… Got you.

* * * * * *

Phoenix: Looks like our time’s up… Shall we go to the cash register?

Maya: Nick …Please. Pay for me?

Phoenix: That’s the end of the story… Is it really okay, just like that?

Maya: Alright. Let’s see you again!! 

Note

Masterpost

This one might actually be my favourite - and completely rewired some of my opinions on Miles' characterisation. Also some new Steel Samurai lore!

Memories: 4

As always, Phoenix’s office is busy. Maya’s leading the excitement, but who should show up but Prosecutor Edgeworth and the character that’s all the rage right now?! 

Maya: That’s it, go for it! Steel Samurai slap! 

Phoenix: Hey, Maya. Could you please try and keep it down a bit, just for today? 

Maya: Hmm. I’m afraid you’ll have to give up on that idea, just for today. It’s the ‘’Steel Samurai: 155 Episode Marathon Day!”

Phoenix: Ugh… I have a mountain of tedious paperwork piling up. I’ve been so busy, I haven’t eaten anything since this morning. 

Maya: Don’t worry. Lunch will be here soon.

Pearl: Kyaaaah! Mystic Mayaaaaaa! 

Maya: W-what’s wrong, Pearly?! 

Pearl: Charley… Charley is all limp! 

Phoenix: Charley… Ah. You mean Mia's houseplant?

Maya: You say limp… Uwah! Seriously! He’s about to die! 

Pearl: Could it be that this nutrient spray wasn’t good for him…?

Phoenix: Ah, stop - that’s no good! That’s luminol spray. 

Maya: Luminol? What’s that?

Phoenix: No, no. I only just used it last month! 

Maya: Ah, you mean that chemical reagent that reacts with blood?

Pearl: Ugh… I sprayed it all over hoping it would make the leaves shiny. 

Voice: Excuse me! Your order's here! 。

Maya: Oh, I guess lunch arrived.

Voice: Yes. Ten Chinese rice bowls.

Phoenix: T-ten…bowls? 

Maya: Well, you see. It said “Discount so huge it’ll bleed us dry! 10 bowls for the price of 7!” on the flyer.

Pearl: …That’s a pretty huge discount.

Maya: Let’s see how much bleeding there is. Here, with the luminol! 

Phoenix: Let’s not. We’ll just end up exhausted and withered after eating it. 

Maya: You’re hungry, aren’t you? Go ahead and eat up.

Phoenix: One of these is plenty! 

Voice: Excuse me! 

Maya: Huh, who’s that? Maybe another bowl of rice?

Phoenix: If they say they’re offering 'something or other,' just send them away. 

Voice: It’s the police~. I’ve come to deliver your package~

Phoenix: Woah! What’s this huge white thing?! 

Maya: It’s wiggling! 

Pearl: Kyah! It’s face is scary! 

Edgeworth: It’s the 'Blue Bugger'.

Phoenix: E……Edgeworth?! 

Edgeworth: You also remember don’t you? ….”Him”. 

Phoenix: Ah… Of course. That case, huh? 

Maya: If I remember Nick’s story, you suffered quite a bit of trouble because of him, right?

Edgeworth: However dubious, this 'Blue Bugger' has made quite the name for himself.

Maya: Uhm. We have another of those “something or others” as it is.

Phoenix: By the way, his name is “Blue Badger”. To be accurate.

Edgeworth: Hm… Perhaps you’re confusing him with some mascot or something.

Phoenix: Anyway, why bring him here?

Edgeworth: There was nowhere for him to go at the police station.

Maya: Hah. 

Edgeworth: Surely you could put him somewhere here? How about in place of that dead plant over there?

Maya: Charley isn’t dead yet! 

Edgeworth: Still… Somehow, I can’t quite bring myself to throw this away.

Phoenix: Ah. That’s right, Detective Gumshoe made this? 

Edgeworth: He said “I put all my blood, sweat, and tears into it, Pal!”

Maya: Hmm. Let’s see exactly how much blood went into it. With this luminol! 

Phoenix: That’s not what that me-....Ah.

Pearl: Blood… is seeping out! Look, right there! 

Edgeworth: Ah. That must be from when the detective sawed into his own finger. 

Pearl: Ugh…

Maya: About the saw by the way. It wasn’t a jigsaw after all, was it?! 

Phoenix: ….I don’t think that’s the important part.

Pearl: Kyah! There’s blood here too?! 

Edgeworth: Ah. That must be from when the detective smashed his own finger with a hammer - nail and all.

Pearl: Ugh….

Maya: ……Stories with blood aren’t funny no matter how you put it, Prosecutor Edgeworth. 

Phoenix: Anyway… this guy’s still dancing around like a maniac.

Edgeworth: I was thinking it would be a good fit for this office…

Pearl: Kyah! I wanted to clean up, but it’s blocking my way!

Maya: Ah! This is a really good scene, but I can’t even see the TV! 

Phoenix: Uwah! This guy’s perfectly in the way of both my paperwork and my rice bowl! 

Edgeworth: Nobody can put an end to his dance… not until the battery runs out.

Phoenix: Take it home with you! 

Edgeworth: However… If you consider it. Perhaps that’s also true for us.

Phoenix: Huh?

Edgeworth: We’ll keep dancing until our lives come to an end… Just like this 'Blue Bugger'. 

Maya: Right…

Pearl: As expected of Mr Prosecutor! 

Phoenix: …Hey you. I think you should stop that habit of wrapping everything up with some zinger of a line. 

Edgeworth: It can’t be helped. I suppose I’ll return him to his creator. 

Phoenix: While you’re at it, could you take some of these Chinese rice bowls with you?

Maya: I-is that alright? There’s a lot there. 

Phoenix: It’s cool. He’s kind of like the “universe”. In more ways than one. 

Pearl: Help yourself to some of these too, Mr Prosecutor!

Edgeworth: Hm. I’ll help myself to a big serving...

Maya: There! Now we’re all friends who have been stuffed to the brim. In more ways than one. (1)

Phoenix: …We don’t need to have that kind of thing in common.

Notes

(1) Yeah no she literally says this, including the 'in more ways than one'. I don't know what to make of it. There's no reason I can think of where it wouldn't come off as an equally dirty joke in Japanese...

Yeah so. Miles putting on an (implied) cutesy voice and roleplaying as the blue badger to... amuse Phoenix, I suppose? And later doing an impression of Gumshoe... But mostly the cutesy voice thing. Rewired my brain.

Masterpost

In which Gumshoe gets wasted!

New Years

There’s only one month left in the year, but Wright & Co Law Offices  is getting into the New Year spirit a little early. It looks like everyone’s playing a lively card game?! 

Maya: Okay. Only two cards left. Right or left…. Let’s settle this! 

Gumshoe: Hmph. Don’t underestimate my “Gum Vision”... Left! 

Maya: Yes! That was the joker. Now, that’s my…

Gumshoe: Yes! Now I have all the jokers! Alright, time to draw the last card! 

Maya: Huh?

Gumshoe: Haha. What a turnabout to start the new year! 

Phoenix: H-hold on a second. Why are there two joker cards?!

Gumshoe: My motto for this year is “better safe than sorry”.

Phoenix: Right.

Gumshoe: To be safe, I slipped another copy of the joker into the deck.

Phoenix: But isn’t that against the rules?!

Maya: You cheated, Gumshoe! 

Gumshoe: Well if you ask me! 

Maya: Gyah! 

Gumshoe: The rules are just weird to begin with!

Phoenix: W-what do you mean?

Gumshoe: The name of this game… You say it, Pal!

Phoenix: Well, it’s Joker Fishing. (1)

Gumshoe: Well, for example. It’s called strawberry picking because you pick strawberries… isn’t that right?! 

Maya: I guess that’s true. 

Gumshoe: So! The one who picks up the last joker should be the real winner! 

Maya: Yeah…If you put it that way.

Phoenix: You’re surprisingly competitive, Detective Gumshoe. 

Gumshoe: If you ask me!

Maya: Gyah! 

Gumshoe: The whole concept of a “sore loser” is weird in the first place! 

Phoenix: W-what’s wrong now?

Gumshoe: Well, for example. “You only hate it ‘cos you haven’t tried it” is only a thing ‘cos you haven’t tried it, am I wrong?!

Maya: That’s true, though. 

Gumshoe: In that case! Someone who’s “sore loser” but hasn’t tasted defeat yet is the “real winner!”

Maya: Yeah… If you put it that way. 

Gumshoe: Woah. My wild side is really busting out! I feel like I could even beat Prosecutor Edgeworth right now!

Phoenix: …Who the hell gave Detective Gumshoe all this Wild Turkey bourbon to drink?(2)

Pearl: I-it was me… Should I not have done that?

Phoenix: There are some people who go off the rails in strange ways when they get drunk. You have to be careful.

Pearl: Ugh, I’m sorry…

Maya: Well, well. Let’s eat the mandarin oranges that Gumshoe brought. You too, Nick.

Phoenix: Ah. Thanks. 

Maya: After all, New Year’s all about snacking on mochi and mandarins, eating osechi in front of the TV, and playing Old Maid with a deck of cards. 

Gumshoe: No need to be shy! My parents sent me so many from back home they’re starting to rot! 

Phoenix: Woah. No kidding, this mandarin really is rotten!

Gumshoe: What are you talking about, pal?! Fruit always tastes the best when it’s starting to go off! 

Phoenix: Huh? 

Gumshoe: Humans are like that too! Of course, I’m no exception!

Phoenix: No way, no way. But it’s totally past its prime! 

Gumshoe: What are you talking about, pal?! I’ve still got it! I’m still getting started! 

Phoenix: I’m talking about the mandarins!

Gumshoe: Forget the mandarins, listen to what I have to say! 

Phoenix: …Good grief. At times like this, there’s no point in saying anything. 

Maya: What’s that called again. A proverb or something?

Pearl: Ah. I studied that in the “Iroha Karuta” poem matching card game!

Maya: Oh. It’s been a long time! Mame chan’s fun facts. (3)

Phoenix: So then it’s the reverse. 

Pearl: Uh, I’m pretty sure it’s preaching to a… deaf year! 

Maya: Well done, Pearly!

Phoenix: Though the “year” part is a little off.

Gumshoe: Having lots of “years” is a good thing, though! This year’s concept is “years for years!” 

Phoenix: Enough of that already. 

Pearl: Hahaha. It’s only New Years and he’s already a total mess! 

Maya: Ah, by the way, we got a New Year’s card. Look. This one’s from Ema. 

Phoenix: Huh? …Wait, it’s completely white? And wrinkled up too.

Pearl: That’s strange. It’s almost like it’s been washed in water…

Phoenix: Ah! I can’t believe it but… give it here a second.

Pearl: Kyah! The words “Happy New Year” are popping out! 

Maya: What is that, some kind of magic spray?!

Phoenix: It’s the luminol reagent she gave me. It reacts to blood.

Maya: Huh! As expected from a science whizz.

Pearl: I’m in awe! 

Phoenix: …More importantly, whose blood was used to write this?

Maya: Ah! And this is Gumshoe’s card! 

Pearl: It has “:) New Year” written on it! And in big letters too!(4) 

Phoenix: I didn’t realise that using an emoji would cut the festive feeling in half like that. 

Maya: Woah, look! It’s the New Year’s lottery on the back of the card! 

Pearl: It says “I hope you win!”. In big letters! 

Phoenix: I hope I don’t. I’d be too embarrassed to claim this at the post office. 

Gumshoe: Well, you know me. This year’s concept is years for years. 

Pearl: Is there some kind of connection there?

Gumshoe: I tried to put the luck in the cards! Hahaha

Phoenix: ….So that’s the punchline?

Pearl: So, we look forward to your continued support of the Wright & Co Law Offices this year!

Maya: This year’s office concept is “New Year’s Spirit”!

NOTES

(1) They're playing Go Fish, but the Japanese name of that is like 'Joker Picking'. I combined them to get the joke.

(2) The brand name is actually just written into the text.

(3) This one has driven me nuts. I have no idea what this is in reference to. All that would come up on Google was this one brand - but this only became popular in 2008! So yeah, stumped about this reference I'm afraid.

(4) Originally, Ema had shorthanded and skipped out on writing the kanji. Shorthanding with an emoji is the only way I could think to convey this.

Masterpost

Big Phoenix lore!!

Note: This one is also pretty untranslatable. However, as they were actually discussing the specific kanji involved within the dialogue itself, I've just added a few extra notes there, rather than at the end.

Shiwasu (師走)

December is also known as “shiwasu” - a month so busy even the teachers are running around. Speaking of Phoenix’s mentor, it’s obviously “that person”- 

Maya: …Hah, hah. I’m back… Hah, hah. 

Phoenix: Welcome back… Wait, what’s wrong? You’re all out of breath. 

Maya: That’s ‘cos I kind of ran back. You look busy too, Nick. 

Phoenix: I was doing a big clean-up. The year’s almost over, after all. 

Maya: Hmm. It’s really cold outside. It definitely feels like the shiwasu.

Phoenix: Ah… You’re right.

Maya: Huh? What’s wrong? You suddenly looked distant. 

Phoenix: Speaking about the shiwasu. It made me think of an important memory…How can I put it, something moving?

Maya: Oh! I have a feeling this is going to be “romantic!” 

Phoenix: It’s a story from back when I was still a rookie. 

Maya: Woah. I wanna hear! I wanna hear! 

Phoenix: When I hear “shiwasu”... that’s right. The “shi”(師) character makes me  think of my teacher - Mia for me of course. 

Maya: That’s true, you’re right. 

Phoenix: Mia was always so calm, you know. You can’t even imagine her running around in a panic, right?

Maya: Yeah. I don’t think I ever saw her run around in a panic. 

Phoenix: Exactly… But actually, just once. I saw her running around. At full speed.

Maya: Really? 

Phoenix: It was around this time of year. I was working for this law firm while I was studying for the bar exam. 

Maya: So you were like a live-in guest, Nick..(1)

Phoenix: Then, it was finally the day of the exam. Somehow, I realised I’d forgotten my admission ticket. 

Maya: Hm… You’ve always been the type to end up in tight spots, haven’t you?

Phoenix: Just when I thought ‘it’s all over!’ …I heard a voice. It said “Phoenix”. 

Maya: Ah! Could that have been…?

Phoenix: It was Mia… She had my ticket. 

Maya: Is that so…?

Phoenix: She was out of breath and couldn’t speak for a bit… Honestly, I was stoked. 

Maya: Aaah. I see. 

Phoenix: Though, there was still about half an hour until the exam started. She was probably really worried about me. 

Maya: …….

Phoenix:...........

Maya: So? What’s so moving about that?

Phoenix: Huh? 

Maya: I mean. It’s obvious, isn’t it? It was “shiwasu” after all.

Phoenix: N-no! I mean, that’s why Mia did that for me…

Maya: Ah. Could it be, Nick? You don’t actually know what “shiwasu” means?”

Phoenix: Why would you say that?!

Maya: Listen. “Shiwasu” doesn’t mean that attorneys run. In that case, the “shi” character in “shiwasu” would be the same “shi”(士) as “bengoshi” (弁護士) (attorney).(2)

Phoenix: I know that! The “shi” character is obviously the “shi” (師) from “shishou” (師匠) (teacher), right? Like a sensei. 

Maya: What are you talking about, Nick? The “shi” in “shiwasu” is the same “shi” in “reibaishi” (霊媒師)(spirit medium), isn’t it?

Phoenix: …Yes?

Maya: That’s why “shiwasu” means “spirit mediums run”. 

Phoenix: No way! That’s just some kind of local rule in Kurain Village! 

Maya: Huh?! Then, why are teachers running around? I want to hear your theory, Nick. 

Phoenix: Well, that’s it. You know how they say “it’s so busy at the end of the year, even the teacher is running around like crazy”... 

Maya: Haaah. Let’s keep cool heads here. Wouldn’t the busiest time for a teacher be school admission season?

Phoenix: Then- then- why are spirit mediums running around in December?! 

Maya: That’s obvious, isn’t it? Because it’s cold. 

Phoenix: ….”because it’s cold”? 

Maya: Even you know that, Nick. It’s chilly in Kurain Village, you know?

Phoenix: W-well… I guess so. 

Maya: That’s why, once December rolls around, we always have to run whenever we need to go outside. It’s part of our training too. 

Phoenix: Hah….

Maya: My big sis was trained as a medium too. Whenever December came around, she’d run around with me. Ever since I was little.

Phoenix: Hm… Ah! S-so. The reason Mia was running about that day was…

Maya: I guess her old habits kicked back in. As a “medium”. 

Phoenix: I-I see…

Maya: So, there was no need to run about in the first place, was there?

Phoenix: Huh?

Maya: Didn’t you say there was still half an hour until your exam started?

Phoenix: ……….

Maya: ………

Phoenix: ……….

Maya: Just kidding.

Phoenix: Huh?

Maya: I’m sure that back then, Sis wasn’t running around as a spirit medium, but as your mentor. Just for your sake, Nick. 

Phoenix: …Ah, right. 

Maya: I was actually a little jealous. So I went and said something mean.

Phoenix: .....Well, should we get back so the big clean?

Maya: Yeah! 

Phoenix: After all, it is the month of “shiwasu”. I’m also pretty busy.

Maya: But that’s why. If lawyers are busy, “shiwasu” should use the “shi” from attorney. Let’s get that straight!

Phoenix: Sure, sure.

Notes (the second) 1) I wouldnt make too big a deal out of this. It's not super literal and I doubt it's meant to mean anything.

2) The second character in shiwasu (師走) is 走 for 'run'. This is where all the jokes about running are coming from.

I think this one is a really interesting show of Phoenix's kind of... avoidant personality type.

Masterpost

So there's sadly no image with this one. I'm guessing they didn't have an art featuring Ema Skye available... As a consolation, Phoenix is kinda cute in this one

Trip

Ema, who dropped by the Wright & Co Law Offices for the first time in a while, immediately hit it off with Maya and Pearl, who she was meeting for the first time. Seeing how lively they were, Phoenix seemed a little uneasy?! 

Ema: Uhm… Hello. 

Maya: Ah. Come in! You’re Ema, right? 

Ema: Woah! It’s Miss Fey! The real deal! 

Maya: Well, no need to be so formal. Take a seat. 

Pearl: Nice to meet you. I’m Pearl Fey. 

Ema: Kyah, so cute! I always watch your performances in the game!

Pearl: Oh, don’t mention it. I still have a long way to go… Ah. I’ll go call Mr Nick right now! 

Ema: M-Mr Nick…? 

Maya: Huh? What do you call him, Ema?

Ema: I suppose “Mr Wright”.

Maya: Ah, what a waste. Nick is plenty good enough. 

Ema: Got it! Well, Nick it is, then! 

Phoenix: No, no. I wish you’d stop going around saying whatever you want. 

Maya: Ah, Nick. Ema’s here! 

Ema: Long time no see, Nick! 

Phoenix: …You’ve adapted quickly, Ema… 

Ema: You really helped me out a bunch with my sister’s case! 

Phoenix: The pleasure was all mine… What brings you here today?

Ema: Maya suggested we have a party to celebrate the release of Rise From The Ashes. 

Phoenix: That sounds great! Well then, I’ll go buy a cake right away…

Maya: What are you talking about? Since we have this opportunity, let’s go on a trip! A trip! 

Pearl: Woah. That’s so exciting! A trip! 

Phoenix: Huh? No… I’m actually kind of busy right now.

Maya: I wanna go to Europe! Europe, you hear?! 

Phoenix: And now you mean overseas too?! 

Maya: Well, if you talk about a vacation, Europe springs to mind, doesn’t it?! 

Pearl: As expected of you, Mystic Maya! 

Ema: Ah. I thought something like this might happen, so I brought a world map with me. 

Maya: Oh! As expected of you, Ema! 

Phoenix: …You’re serious…

Maya: So? So? Where in Europe should we go?

Ema: Uhm. Somewhere around here, maybe.

Maya: In that case… What’s the shortest route? 

Pearl: Let’s think. I think the shortest route would be to head straight up from Japanifornia, and turn left around China.(1)

Maya: Ah! Speaking of China. I heard there’s a delicious ramen shop somewhere there. 

Pearl: You’re as informed as ever, Mystic Maya! 

Maya: Alright. Then how about we have lunch there?

Phoenix: …What a surreal plan. 

Maya: What about you, Ema? Anywhere you want to go?

Ema: Ah. Actually I… would like to go to Las Vegas. 

Phoenix: Huh? Because of the casinos? 

Maya: Gambling, huh? Sounds fun. I think I’d be good at it.

Ema: No, uh. There’s a famous forensic science team in Las Vegas. 

Maya: I bet their lives are like something out of a TV drama.

Ema: I’d like to go introduce myself, just incidentally. 

Maya: We can splurge in the casinos on the way back. How much money do you have, Pearly?

Pearl: $6!

Maya: I have 50 cents. Since we’re at it, I might go and spend it all! 

Ema: By the way, where do you want to go, Pearl?

Pearl: As for me… That’s right. How about Shikoku island?(2)

Phoenix: That’s a pretty big shift in scale.  

Pearl: Uhm. It just caught my eye. Look, right there.

Ema: Ah… That’s… Australia. 

Pearl: Australia? How is that related to Shikoku… 

Phoenix: Well… If you look close, I guess the shapes are similar. 

Pearl: I-I thought it was weird too. I never expected to find Shikoku in a place like that… 

Ema: Ah. While we’re at it, any requests from you, Nick?

Phoenix: I’m busy at the moment. If it’s a wrap party, let’s do it in the office…

Maya: Okay. Why don’t we hang the world map on the wall, and decide where to go by throwing darts.

Phoenix: …That actually sounds kind of cool.

Maya: Here you go, Ema.

Ema: T-that’s a lot of responsibility… Here goes!

Maya: Gyah! 

Ema: Ah! It missed the map and landed right here on the wall! 

Phoenix: Yep. Well, the destination is set.

Maya: Huh?

Phoenix: I’ll go and buy some cake. We’ll have fun tonight right here at the Wright & Co Law Offices.

Maya: No way, not that! 

Notes:

(1) Yeah, yeah, I know this only makes sense in the Japan context. I frankly could not be bothered to put a whole localisation pass on this just for the logistics, though. (2) Shikoku is one of the main islands of Japan.

Masterpost

We've now reached the point in the timeline when the DS version of the game, along with Rise From the Ashes, was released. This article therefore feels more like product placement than anything else.

NOTE: Putting this first today. Part of this article is basically impossible to localise because there's a section where they discuss English language conversation. In other places I've just switched this with German, but this time it's a pretty substantial part of the article (and I do not, alas, actually speak German). I've decided that the fandom will, in this case, just need to cope * with the implication of the story being fully set in Japan here (though I do refer to currency as $).

I THINK that they're also supposed to be mispronouncing the English here. I have therefore decided to write this out pretty close to just the actual romaji. Because of this, they call Phoenix (wrongly pronounced) 'Naruhodou'. These romaji sections are indicated with bolded text.

*sarcasm marker, just in case. I know some people get real pearl clutchy about the setting.

Congratulations: Release of Rise from the Ashes

Phoenix and the others have immediately gotten their hands on the new DS release of Ace Attorney! Since the game can also be played in English, maybe we can all test our language skills…?! 

Maya: Go’mounin, Misuta Naahodou! Haw do ya do?! 

Phoenix: W-what are you doing, Maya? 

Maya: What’s up? It’s “Haw do ya do". And the reply is “I’mu fine zen kyuu. An' jyou?” - that’s how it goes, right?

Phoenix: You know, I’ve never actually seen foreigners use greetings like that. 

Maya: Huh?! But. I learnt it in school! 

Phoenix: Maya… You actually went to school?

Maya: How rude! I memorised my entire English textbook! Isn’t that right, Pearly?!

Pearl: It is. I’ve been learning English conversation from Mystic Maya. 

Phoenix: That’s impressive. Can you actually say anything?

Pearl: Of course I can! Uhm. Misuta Naahodou. Aryu a boy oar a gaaru? 

Phoenix: Woah, that’s great… even if the question itself didn’t make sense.

Pearl: ……………*sniff* 

Maya: Hey! Answer her properly! 

Phoenix: Woah, okay, I got it. Uh, I’mu a boy. 

Maya: Okay! Right on cue, Pearly. 

Pearl: Uhm. Oh! Yuah notto a boy enimor. 

Phoenix: …..Huh? What does that mean? 

Maya: What are you talking about? You’re not at the “boy” age anymore, right?” 

Phoenix: What on earth are you teaching her?! 

Pearl: A-uhm. That’s exactly as it’s written in the text book… 

Phoenix: Right… This is a terrible textbook. Why are you speaking in English anyway?

Maya: That’s because today is the day of the “Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney” DS release! 

Phoenix: That’s right, so it is. 

Maya: And, get this, “Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney” also comes with an English translation! 

Phoenix: Ah. So that’s what this was about…? 

Pearl: I’m really looking forward to seeing how “ladders and stepladders” was translated. 

Phoenix: …That’s probably the perspective of deep level stans. 

Maya: Look, look. I went and bought it! The package shape is different from usual somehow. 

Phoenix: Oh. So you had enough money for that. Even though you’re always begging me for funds. 

Maya: Pearly lent me $30! 

Pearl: Anyway, it really feels like the whole town is into this “turnabout” now! 

Phoenix: Huh. Really? 

Maya: I mean. Whenever we walk down the street, everyone turns to look at us. 

Phoenix: Maybe the problem is your outfits? 

Maya: Well, anyway. Let’s give it a try right away, Pearly! 

Pearl: Yeah! …Ah.

Maya: What’s wrong?

Pearl: Somehow, this cartridge is smaller than usual. 

Maya: Well, science is amazing. It can make anything smaller. 

Pearl: M-mystic Maya! I-I can’t put it in this game console! 

Maya: Huh?! Seriously?  Yeah, there’s no way you can fit this in. Shit… to think they’d sell a defective copy to the heroine herself…

Phoenix: No, no, hold it! Isn’t that the Game Boy Advance?! 

Maya: That’s right. 

Phoenix: Ah. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney is a Nintendo DS game. 

Maya: Whaaaat?! I don’t have it! 

Pearl: Does that mean we can’t play it? I was really looking forward to it…

Maya: That’s like… the kind of TV promo that’s like “Phoenix Wright got murdered! What truth will the beautiful young Detective Maya uncover?! Ace Attorney: airing at 8pm tomorrow on satellite TV!” ….Except we can’t even get satellite TV at our house! 

Phoenix: I guess that’s about it… Well, excuse me. I’m going to go play it myself.

Maya: Huh, what’s what?! That cool, big black box. It’s different to mine! 

Phoenix: Ah, mine’s the “ limited edition”. 

Pearl: Is such a tiny cartridge really inside such a huge box? 

Phoenix: Don’t say things like that, if anyone from CAPCOM hears they’ll get mad… It comes with all kinds of extras like a manga and CD.

Maya: Woah. I want that too! I’m going to go get mine swapped! 

Phoenix: Ah. They’re already sold out. They flew off the shelves. 

Maya: Huh?! What’s that supposed to mean?! If this was a TV promo, it would say something like “a dark shadow looms over the beautiful Maya. Who’s the villain after her $5 million inheritance?! Ace Attorney: Last night at 8pm!” ….And it’s already over! 

Phoenix: What’s with you and this series of cheesy promos lately? 

Pearl: Anyway, Mystic Maya. Let’s go buy this Nintendo DS thing! 

Maya: Let’s do it! How much do you have, Pearly?

Pearl: $6!  

Maya: I have 50 cents. Then, how much was this “Dee ess?” 

Phoenix: …Fine. Take my wallet. 

Pearl: Okay, I’m off! 

Maya: And that’s that. In the end, let’s have fun playing Ace Attorney together! 

Masterpost

This one was the final boss of localisation for me. Prepare for MANY notes. Some lore about Phoenix's blood pressure?

Typhoon

A typhoon is coming! - So, Maya and Pearl are preparing for every worst case scenario. Meanwhile, Phoenix seems worn out from being so busy?!

Phoenix: Ugh… It’s already morning? I’m so hungry…

Maya: Quick, Pearly! Let’s board up this window too! 

Pearl: Yes! Mystic Maya, here’s a hammer and nails! 

Maya: Alright! Let’s get this done! 

Phoenix: W-what are you doing? It’s first thing in the morning…

Maya: It’s an emergency! Phra Phirun is nearly here already! 

Phoenix: P-phra Phirun ? What’s that, some kind of monster? 

Pearl: “Phra Phirun” is the name of Typhoon 13 - which is approaching! 

Phoenix: Typhoon…

Maya: According to the news, every typhoon has its own official name. 

Pearl: The people on the Typhoon Committee put their hearts into choosing these names. 

Phoenix: I’ve never heard about that. So, this Typhoon 13 is “Phra Phirun”? 

Maya: It’s cute, isn’t it? It sounds like polypropylene. (1)

Pearl: By the way, in Thailand, “Phra Phirun” means “Goddess of Rain”. 

Maya: Whaaaat, Thailand?! So I guess that’s what it meant…

Phoenix: W-what’s with the shocked look? 

Maya: I’ve always wondered if that’s why it was called “typhoon”. A “Thai boon”...(2)

Phoenix: ..Just so we’re clear, that’s absolutely not right.

Maya: Anyway, we need to do the reinforcements! Move out of the way of the window! 

Phoenix: S-stop it! This building is made out of reinforced concrete. (3)

Maya: But I heard Phra Phirun is meant to be really serious! 

Phoenix: Typhoon 13 is fine. We don’t need that plywood. 

Maya: …Hey, Nick. You should have more fun. In life, I mean. 

Phoenix: W-what do you mean? 

Maya: You just seem a little underwhelmed. Typhoons make you think of festivals, right? (4)

Phoenix: I can’t help it. I haven’t slept properly in the last three days. 

Maya: Right. You’ve been totally holed up in that room.

Phoenix: I wish you’d stop saying “holed up”. It’s work. 

Pearl: Is today’s trial really that difficult? 

Phoenix: Yeah. Somehow this room is starting to look like a jail cell. 

Pearl: Ah! So that makes you a prisoner, Mr Nick? 

Phoenix: I’m definitely starting to feel that way, with the windows boarded up. 

Maya: Come to think of it, don’t they say “we’re all prisoners locked up in the cage called life”? 

Phoenix: Huh? Who are you quoting? 

Maya: I don’t know. But it sounds like something someone would say, right? You know, like the kind of phrase that sounds deep at first, but then you think about it and it’s like “so what!”? 

Phoenix: …..Don’t just make things up. Anyway, is breakfast ready yet?

Pearl: Oh, it should be ready any minute now. I’ll go check on it! 

Maya: Nick, you’re really not a morning person, huh? 

Phoenix: Guess not. Maybe I have low blood pressure. 

Maya: Around 975 hectopascals? 

Phoenix: Isn’t that atmospheric pressure? 

Maya: If you think about it, you’re kind of like a typhoon, Nick. 

Phoenix: What do you mean? 

Maya: I mean, come on. You’re always causing major disasters wherever you go.

Phoenix: Disasters…?

Maya: Kurain Village, Lordly Tailor Department Store, the Hero of Heroes ceremony, also Hazakura Temple? 

Phoenix: Oh…Oh right. You mean my cases?

Maya: It’s like you cause typhoon level trouble everywhere you go, isn’t it?

Phoenix: You’re blaming me?! 

Maya: It’s like how they say the eye of the storm is silent, right? I don’t think the person in question is aware of it themselves. 

Phoenix: B-but! Weren’t you there for all of those cases too, Maya? Right by my side! 

Maya: Well, I guess you could say I was like a “weather girl”, reporting right from the scene while getting blown about by the wind? 

Phoenix: ….I feel like, if we’re talking about roles, I’m the one who fits that description better. 

Maya: Alright. In honour of Typhoon 13, I’ll call you “Phra Phirun” for a while!

Phoenix: Cut it out. That’s the “goddess”, right? Phra Phirun. 

Maya: Would you prefer Polypropylene?

Phoenix: Enough already.

Maya: You’re such a buzz kill… Well, I’ll simply call you “Number 13”, shall I?(5)

Phoenix: What’s that supposed to mean? 

Pearl: Here’s breakfast! I made this for good luck, since you have a trial today.

Phoenix: Ah, thank you.

Pearl: There you are. Help yourself. 

Maya: Hey, Number 13. It’s Lucky Charms.(6)

Phoenix: …That comment just then made me feel even more like a prisoner. (7)

Maya: Come to think of it, don’t they say “Lucky charms are equally charming whether you’re eating them in a solitary cell or the cafeteria”? (8)

Phoenix: This is why you shouldn’t just make things up! 

Note

(1) I promise the words sound closer in a Japanese accent.

(2) [Country]+風(fuu) basically means ‘in the style of [country]. 風 is the kanji for wind, and also used in ‘typhoon’ (台風 (taifuu) - this is itself a loanword from Chinese). タイ(tai) is also Japanese for Thailand. So タイ風 (taifuu), meaning ‘Thai style’, is pronounced the same as typhoon. There's probably a slight tonal shift when spoken but I'll admit tones have always been a weak spot for me. ‘Thai boon’ was the closest thing I could come up with that plausibly maintained the effect of the pun - though the meaning ends up slightly distorted. 

(3) More for interest - Phoenix speaks using imperative form here. This is a very harsh sounding command - and pretty uncharacteristic for the way Phoenix typically speaks. You could translate this as “fucking stop!” for example.

(4) Festival season and typhoon season in Japan pretty much directly coincide. Some festivals are specifically about calming the weather. For example.

(5) Basically, this a pun. The way she says “number 13” sounds a lot like "重合" - which is polymerisation. So it relates to her calling him polypropylene - which in itself is meant to be a pun on the typhoon’s name. There was zero way to maintain this effect in English - believe me I did try to scour lists of chemistry related terms that even remotely sounded like numbers. There's several layers of puns at play.

(6) Obviously this isn't Lucky Charms in the original. Pearl actually gives him katsudon (pork cutlet bowl). This is basically a pun about good luck, because “katsu” is also the word for victory in Japanese.

(7) In Japan, prisoners are referred to simply by their inmate number. 

Masterpost

In this one... I'm honestly not sure if the end is intended to feel like such a dirty joke. It's interesting.... to say the least... Also contains some specks of character lore.

Swimming in the ocean

Summer is finally in full swing! Phoenix has also finally gone outside (or was he dragged by Maya?), and he’s heading to the beach with the usual crew! What’s going to happen?! 

Pearl: Ah! I can see the ocean! 

Maya: Hey, Gumshoe! How long till we get there? 

Gumshoe: About 15 minutes, if we run a few red lights and floor it. 

Phoenix: Uhm. Please drive safely, Detective Gumshoe. 

Maya: Is that the beach house where Larry’s been working? It’s called Paradise, right? 

Edgeworth: Hm. I heard Larry was cooking yakisoba there. Even in this heat. 

Phoenix: ….Ugh. Anyway, I’m beat.

Maya: What are you talking about, Nick?! We’re not even there yet! 

Phoenix: I still haven’t really recovered from Golden Week.

Pearl: Huh? But, wasn’t that two months ago already? 

Phoenix: Whaaaaat?! Has it seriously been that long? Already? You’re kidding? 

Maya: You’re really shocked…

Phoenix: I’ve been crazy busy lately. Time is flying way too fast.

Maya: Don’t worry about it. If you end up dying from overworking, we can just summon you back. 

Phoenix: …Anyway, looks like I’ll have to go in the sea today no matter what.

Gumshoe: It’s been ages since I last went to the sea! My heart’s already pounding! 

Maya: Me too. I even bought new swimwear specially for today! 

Phoenix: Huh? 

Maya: It’s a bikini, you know? 

Phoenix: Oh. I see. 

Maya: It’s a small, cute one from Shopping King. 

Gumshoe: Shopping King… You mean the teleshopping channel?

Phoenix: More like “shocking pink”... 

Maya: I think it’ll look good, though. Right, Pearly? 

Pearl: Yeah! I can’t wait to see it! 

Maya: I’ll show you later. Look forward to it, huh, Nick.

Phoenix: Huh? …Uh, sure. 

Gumshoe: Anyway, you guys brought a bunch of stuff, huh? 

Maya: You bet! We bought all kinds of things specially for today.

Pearl: A jumbo beach ball, a jumbo rubber boat, jumbo beach mats, jumbo rubber rings…

Phoenix: I thought I was gonna die yesterday, being dragged on that shopping trip. 

Edgeworth: …I suppose you’re the Shopping King? 

Gumshoe: Bigger isn’t always better, you know?

Maya: But, see. The air is always free! 

Edgeworth: But, what are you going to do? I didn’t see a pump anywhere. 

Maya: It’s fine. We have Gumshoe here. 

Gumshoe: Huh? 

Maya: What is it you usually say? “My chest is bursting with gas”? 

Phoenix: Please use some of that mysterious gas to inflate them. Until they’re about to burst. 

Gumshoe: Do I look like some kind of human gas cylinder to you, pal? 

Phoenix:  ….Ah, by the way. I used to really like this song back in the day. 

Gumshoe: Of course, this Japanifornian folksy ‘New Music’ is perfect for the beach! (1)

Edgeworth: New music… hm? Now that I think about it, this sound brings me back 

Maya: How should I put it, “nostalgic”, right? 

Phoenix: …That’s not quite right. 

Pearl: Uhm…But, how can it be “new” music if it’s something old?

Maya: Yeah, Pearly. The world is full of oxymorons like that.

Pearl: R-really?

Maya: The worst one is probably “old newspaper”, right?

Pearl: Old newspaper…?

Maya: Is it meant to be “old” or “new”...? Seriously, it’s confusing! 

Phoenix: …You’re getting way off track here.

Gumshoe: Ah, we’re here, the Paradise beachhouse! 

Pearl: Woah! It’s so nice! The ocean is the best! 

Maya: Ah. That’s definitely Franziska’s black Mercedes Benz over there. 

Pearl: Well, here you go. This is your swimsuit, Mr Nick! 

Phoenix: Thanks… W-what the hell are these? 

Maya: I told you, I got new swimwear… Bikini bottoms from Shopping King. 

Pearl: So small and cute! 

Phoenix: Those are for me?! 

Edgeworth: Looks like you’re the King of the Beach today. 

Notes

So, this sent me down a rabbithole, but 'new music' is a specific genre in Japan from, like, the 70s. I'm sure you'll appreciate that this is kind of.... impossible to google. It has a kind of folksy sound to it... According to the Japanese language Wikipedia article, this was a pretty big hit, as an example (it's a bop honestly).

As for Phoenix's cute bikini bottoms: let's enhance the image, shall we?

Yeah he is literally wearing them.

Masterpost

Some lore about Phoenix's hobbies and Kurain this time.

Seasonal Wardrobe Change

The season has changed, and now it’s finally early summar. People think that Phoenix and the others always dress the same, but they must change their clothes occasionally… right?! 

Phoenix: Good grief… I’m back. 

Pearl: Welcome back! Have some cool barley tea. 

Phoenix: Thanks, that’ll perk me up. 

Maya: So? So? How did it go? Did you get the case?

Phoenix: No, well… They turned me down, in the end. 

Maya: Huh?! How come? 

Phoenix: That’s anyone’s guess. I even went all the way to the Detention Centre to interview them this morning. Turned out to be a waste of time. 

Maya: That was the suspect accused of murder, right? And they were the one who called you in the first place. 

Phoenix: It sucks. This month has been a total bust. 

Maya: Totally. What do you think, Pearly?

Pearl: Uhm… Maybe it’s because you look a little tired?

Maya: Nick. Did you have too much fun during Golden Week?

Phoenix: …And whose fault is that exactly? 

Maya: But hey, me too. I’ve been on a bad luck streak recently. 

Pearl: What about you, Mr Nick?

Phoenix: Hm, let me think. I guess the only thing that happened recently is I won a T-shirt at a raffle.

Maya: Oh, really? What was that for? 

Phoenix: I bought a CD. It was a bonus prize. 

Pearl: Mr Nick, what kind of music do you listen to?

Phoenix: Some punk rock lately. Galaxy Demon Killer Panthers. 

Maya: That’s a pretty low brow kind of name.

Phoenix: That’s the kind of music it was. The T Shirt design was also pretty low effort.

Pearl: But, that’s great, isn’t it? You’re on a roll, Mr Nick! 

Maya: It’s the demons. 

Phoenix: Come to think of  it, it’s already June. I guess it’s the time of year for 'sky’s out thighs out'. (1) 

Pearl: Uhm. What exactly do you mean by “sky’s out thighs out”? 

Phoenix: ….It’s not really a big deal worth explaining. 

Maya: Well. If you think about it from a shrimp’s perspective, I guess it’s kind of like switching from panko breadcrumbs to tempura batter. 

Pearl: …Ah! So that’s what you mean! 

Phoenix: That’s a pretty terrible metaphor though.

Maya: Alright, Pearly. Let’s break out our summer wardrobe today! 

Pearl: Yes, Mystic Maya! 

Phoenix: Summer wardrobe… But, don’t you always just wear that? 

Maya: Heh heh heh… You’re so clueless, Nick. 

Pearl: We actually have special summer outfits too. 

Phoenix: Hm… What’s the difference?

Pearl: I think it’s the material! I’m not fully sure, but it’s cool to the touch...

Maya: Exactly! 

Phoenix: What kind of “material” is it, Maya? 

Maya: Huh?! Well… It’s that, uh… polypropylene? 

Phoenix: What’s that supposed to mean?

Maya: It kind of looks cool, doesn’t it? Polypropylene? It’s cute too.  

Phoenix: Let me guess, you just want to say polypropylene, don’t you?

Maya: Hm… Yeah, sometimes I just have an urge to say polypropylene out loud. 

Phoenix: Anyway, polypropylene is a synthetic fibre. 

Maya: But you’re hardly one to talk, Nick. 

Phoenix: Huh? How come?

Maya: You never wear anything except that blue suit and pink tie, right?

Phoenix: I change my undershirt every day. 

Pearl: Of course you do.

Phoenix: Well, I should probably start changing to summer clothes too. 

Maya: Polypropylene?

Phoenix: It was super hot in the detention centre today too. I ended up taking my jacket off. 

Maya: It’s pretty hot in the office too. Why don’t you take it off now?

Phoenix: Ah, god. Glad to finally have that off. 

Pearl: Ah! Mr Nick…

Phoenix: Hm? What is it, Pearls? 

Pearl: You can see the writing in your T-shirt through your white shirt! 

Phoenix: Ah, damnit! I ran out of time this morning, so I just threw my shirt on over the T-shirt.

Maya: Nick,  could it be… You went to the detention centre after that?

Phoenix: That’s right… what does it say? 。

Maya: “KILL YOU!!!”...In huge letters, clear as day.

Phoenix: Huh?

Pearl: Uhm. Did you go to the visiting room and meet a client like that?

Maya: Makes sense why they’d turn you down as an attorney. 

Phoenix: Ah! This is the Galaxy Demon Killer Panthers T-shirt! 

Pearl: …I knew it, Mr Nick. You really had some luck! 

Maya: It’s the demons.

Note:

Obviously, the original doesn't say "sky's out thighs out". What Phoenix actually says is just a phrase for 'changing seasonal clothes'. However this was an issue since Pearl didn't understand the meaning of the phrase. But, any normal way of translating it would not plausibly be misunderstood by a kid of Pearls' age here. Thankfully I managed to think of one expression that still conveyed the right idea. I thought it was also a funny nod given this is the illustration where Phoenix's thighs are indeed out.

Masterpost

This time, the squad make plans for Golden Week. Look at the end notes if you'd like to read a rant about Shu Takumi's niche references driving me insane (they only get worse)

Initial note: Golden Week is basically a week of consecutive public holidays, which is very rare in Japan. Since most people have time off, it's the busiest time for travel and going on daily outings.

Golden Week

With the long holiday weekend just around the corner, Maya and Pearl are busy making plans. What kind of Golden Week do Wright & Co Law Offices have in store?! 

Maya: Uhm, well we definitely can’t skip the zoo and theme park. 

Pearl: Oh, and the circus is coming to town for a regional tour! 

Maya: We can’t forget that! We also have hikes and picnics. 

Pearl: I’d love to cook some curry rice over the campfire! 

Maya: Oh, that sounds great! Then, we’ll have a barbeque after that. 

Pearl: Would it be okay if we go cherry and strawberry picking the next day? 

Maya: To our heart’s content! …Oh, there’s an event at the children’s ninja museum! (1)

Pearl: I heard a mermaid is coming to the aquarium! (2)

Maya: Come to think of it, we should also do some shopping at the department store. 

Pearl: It looks like they’re putting on a Steel Samurai show on the roof of this supermarket..

Maya: You should have said sooner, Pearly! 

Pearl: But when would be fit in the Ultra Course at Hazakura Temple?

Maya: Hm… Maybe after we visit the graves in Kurain village? 

Phoenix: …Hey. What are you two all excited about? 

Maya: We’re deciding on our plans for Golden Week. 

Phoenix: How many weeks do you think it lasts? There’s no way you can fit all of that in! 

Maya: But Nick! You’re always so busy, you never take me anywhere! 

Phoenix: Ugh… W-well first of all, don’t you have a bit of overlap with these plans?

Maya: What do you mean by that?! 

Phoenix: You know I’ve always thought it was kind of weird, what’s the difference between a hike and a picnic anyway?

Maya: Well, that depends on how you look at the “lunch box”, doesn’t it?

Phoenix: How I look at it…?

Maya: A picnic is where the lunch box takes centre stage. During a hike, it’s just a stop along the way. 

Pearl: That’s so wise of you! 

Phoenix: A-anyway. You were talking about shopping at the department store? Just get it done while you’re at the supermarket. 

Maya: What are you on about?! You have to go to the department store if you want stylish clothes for summer! 

Phoenix: You say stylish, but… Don’t you always dress like that?

Maya: …Huh. Now you mention it, I guess you’re right. 

Phoenix: (She admitted it) 

Maya: Anyway, Pearly! When does Golden Week start this year?

Pearl: Uhm… From May third to ninth, I think, roughly. 

Maya: Well, then let’s remember it as “the week that was free for five to get sick, ‘cos seven ate nine”! (3)

Phoenix: That’s a totally unnecessary mnemonic.. And ridiculous. 

Franziska: Golden Week…? We don’t have that in Germany.

Edgeworth: That said, Japanifornia doesn't have much in the way of public holidays. 

Phoenix: What are you two here for?

Edgeworth: …I’m just tagging along with Franziska. 

Franziska: I had a strange hunch. It told me I should come here today. 

Maya: Alright, with this minute by minute schedule, we’ll definitely pull all of this off! 

Pearl: I also heard that the whiskery detective and Larry are also joining us. 

Maya: Make sure you keep a copy. I’ll send it to you later. 

Pearl: Got it. These are for Mr Prosecutor Edgeworth and Miss Franziska. 

Edgeworth: Hm….

Maya: Well then, you can count on me!

Phoenix: This year, I was actually thinking of challenging myself to see how many hours I could sleep straight. 

Edgeworth: That might be a bit much even for you, Wright.

Phoenix: Just imagining being out in the middle of all those crowds is giving me a migraine. 

Franziska: Such frailty… You truly live up to the “Golden” name, Phoenix Wright! 

Phoenix: What’s that supposed to mean?

Franziska: … “Golden Weak” 

Phoenix: …….

Maya: Could it be, did you come all the way from Germany just to say that? 

Franziska: Yes, I suppose… Somehow, I feel refreshed. 

Maya: Ah, by the way, Shu Takumi said he’s super busy right now, so he can’t make it.

Pearl: Making video games sounds really tough.

Maya: With that in mind, please cut us some slack this month!

Pearl: Well, have a great Golden Week! 

Note:

(1) I need to spell out the anguish Shu Takumi caused me with this reference. So the original sentence here is 忍者の里にナンジャ - or somrthing like 'Nanja in the ninja village'. It took me. So long. To figure out what the hell this was in reference to. It turns out to be this one specific ninja experience for kids place (link here). At least, I believe this to be the case with other context. I even had to check its page on Japanese wikipedia to make sure it existed at the time Shu Takumi wrote this. I ended up translating it as 'ninja museum' or whatever because honestly, this is such a niche thing it felt like the best I could do. I gather that this is also kind of famous for its food offerings.

(2) So, this ninja village is SPECIFICALLY located in a shopping centre called Sunshine City in the Ikebukuro ward of Tokyo. This formed part of the anguish. Anyway! Sunshine City also has a pretty famous aquarium in it - which is probably while the topic drifts to that.

Fun fact: I once lived about 10 minutes away from Ikebukuro and know it pretty well. Ikebukuro is kind of like the yaoi capital of Japan. So, do what you want with the information that Phoenix and the entire gang seem to have spent at least a day there...

(3) I had to change the dates of Golden Week slightly to make this work. Basically, Maya is making a number pun based on the sentence “ヒトに刺しゴロな”1週間 which effectively means "a week for stabbing people". Each syllable sounds like the numbers 1-7. My attempts to localise it into English don't work as smoothly, but I tried to fit in some kind of pun that was suggestive of violence, at least.

Masterpost

Some Miles Edgeworth lore! We learn about his second trial! Also... Winston Payne lore?

Fledglings and Rookies

With spring here, many of you are probably starting a new chapter of your lives. Just then, while Phoenix and Maya were relaxing at the café, someone appeared before Prosecutor Edgeworth - and it was anyone but a rookie?! 

Edgeworth: ….This table appears to be free.

Maya: So this is the courthouse cafeteria? It’s the first time I've been here.  

Phoenix: I have some bad memories here. So I tend to avoid it. 

Maya: Do you ever have any good memories, Nick?

Phoenix: It’s April, huh…? Guess it’s that time of year where new recruits turn up in court. 

Maya: The courthouse really does get crowded around this time. 

Edgeworth: Certainly… It’s not uncommon for prosecutors to not even know each other’s names. 

Phoenix: Still. I don’t really want to think about my rookie days. 

Maya: Huh, how come? Not another one of your bad memories?

Phoenix: I had a pretty lousy debut after all. 

Edgeworth: Ah… Yes, your first client was Larry Butz. 

Phoenix: I actually read the casefile for your first trial too recently… That death row inmate.

Maya: Larry, and a death row inmate…

Edgeworth: Back then, I was only ever assigned bad cases. 

Maya: Woah… really? 

Edgeworth: Verily, the second case I was ever assigned was also somewhat terrible. 

Maya: So even a prosecutor like you gets cases where you struggle, huh?

Edgeworth: The case itself was simple. The culprit turned themself in. 

Maya: Huh?! Then, what was the matter? 

Edgeworth: It was a cold case. Fifteen years after the fact. 

Phoenix: F-fifteen years… That’s right up to the statute of limitations. 

Edgeworth: In any case, I had to endure reading over the old case file… it was near intolerable. 

Maya: Ah. 

Edgeworth: The investigation was all over the place, and the charges were based on a misunderstanding. Add to that evidentiary mix-ups and a completely off-base closing argument… And yet somehow, I ended up taking all the flack. 

Maya: Mixing up evidence is a pretty big no-go, right?

Payne: Well, such is life, Edgeworth. 

Edgeworth: …Oh, who's that? 

Payne: Rookies are bound to have some tough experiences… Can I sit here, Wright? 

Phoenix: Ah… T-take a seat. 

Payne: Well, no need to be so stiff, you two. Just relax. 

Phoenix: S-sure…

Payne: How many years have you been here now…? 

Phoenix: Three, for me. 

Edgeworth: …..six years. 

Payne: As for me… yes. This year will be my 20th time. 

Phoenix: 20th time… Do you have some kind of “milestone”?

Payne: Yes… For me, it is. Spring in particular is a season I’ll never forget. 

Maya: Somehow… I feel like you’re about to tell a story. 

Payne: It was April the year I turned 33. As a rookie, I ended up handling a murder case for my very first trial. 

Maya: Just like Nick did. 

Payne: I swore to the victim’s family, “I’ll definitely get the culprit convicted”. 

Maya: Woah, how cool! What then…? 

Payne: I was naive. I fought with all my might but… I lost, and it turned into a cold case. 

Maya: Oh, really? 

Payne: Well, as for me, after the trial I went to apologise to the victim’s family. 

Maya: Did they forgive you?

Payne: They poured a bucket of ice water over my head. 

Phoenix: The fact that it’s not just “water” is what really adds insult to injury, huh?

Payne: I went to visit that family the following April… and once again, they poured the ice water.

Maya: Y-you don’t mean to say… every year? 

Payne: Up until now, it’s been an annual tradition for that family. The sharp edge of that ice hit my forehead so hard I almost fainted once. 

Maya: If you did it in February, you’d only get some small blisters 

Payne: Even as a veteran, you must never forget your naivety… You’d do well to remember that. 

Maya: Yeah. That’s a nice saying. 

Phoenix: Everyone says that though. 

Payne: Well. It’s time for me to go again this year, to welcome my 20th “spring”. 

Maya: ….He’s gone. 

Phoenix: Anyway, Edgeworth. The thing we were talking about before. 

Edgeworth: What do you mean?

Phoenix: The name of the high prosecutor who made that blunder 15 years ago… What was it again?

Edgeworth: Verily… “Payne”, I believe.  I don’t know what he looks like, though. 

Phoenix: “Payne”... 

Maya: You know him?

Phoenix: Nah. Never heard of him. 

Edgeworth: Or perhaps it was “Mundayne”?

Maya: Could even be “Layme”, huh? 

Phoenix: Prosecutor Layme… I don’t know him. 

Edgeworth: Well, I don’t suspect that prosecutor will last long. I’ll probably never run into him again. 

Maya: This really is a dog eat dog world, huh? 

Notes:

As you may know, Payne is "Auchi" in Japanese. So the wrong names here were originally 'Kauchi' and 'Pauchi'. I didn't think the meaning was super important for the joke, so I had a bit of fun making them a little 'mean'

Masterpost

White Day

Following last month’s ‘Valentines Day’ feature, this month we’re talking about ‘White day’. What kind of childhood memories of White Day will Phoenix, Larry, and Miles have? And what shocking revelations will happen this time?! 

Maya: Hah… I’m stuffed! 

Larry: What did you think? About my miso ramen full course menu, I mean?

Maya: Yeah. It was delicious! 

Larry: Nice! You say something too, Edgey! 

Edgeworth: …..It could be described as something of a delicacy. 

Larry: First the miso ramen salad as a starter, followed by miso ramen tempura, and veal simmered in miso served with ramen.

Maya: And of course the main dish was miso ramen! 

Larry: Then finally dessert. Miso sorbet topped with ramen! 

Maya: Kyah!

Phoenix: …Hey. What are you doing, Larry? 

Larry:  Don’t be a dummy. You know what day it is today, don’t you?

Maya: Look. Prosecutor Edgeworth gave me something too! A marshmallow. 

Phoenix: Ah… Got it. White Day? 

Larry: What?! Are you making fun of my Ms White or something?! 

Phoenix: I-I don't think that person really exists. 

Maya:  It seems like you have some kind of bad memories, Nick? 

Phoenix: I don’t like it. ……Ever since the day I received chocolates from Edgeworth. 

Maya: Whaaaaaat?! N-n-nick and P-p-prosecutor Edgeworth?! 

Larry: Woaaaah! S-sorry, Nick! I didn’t realise things had turned out like that with you two! 

Edgeworth: P-please stop making such leading statements that invite further questions! 

Maya: Then, tell us the story again this month! 

Phoenix: ….When I was in elementary school, there was this girl I liked. Her name was Ruby.

Larry: Hey, Nick. You had a serious crush on this girl, huh?

Phoenix: …Weren’t you also surprised to hear that last month?

Maya: Well, well, it doesn’t matter. So? 

Phoenix: It was White Day morning. I’d left some candy on her desk. I even worked up the courage to leave her a note. 

Edgeworth: You… Gave it to Ruby?

Phoenix: After lunch that day… Edgeworth came over. He was holding that candy. 

Young Edgeworth: “This is from her…. She says she can’t accept it.” 

Maya: That’s pretty rough… I feel sorry for you. 

Phoenix: Well, I pretty much got shot down, point blank. 

Edgeworth: …..So that’s how it was…?

Maya: Is something wrong, Prosecutor Edgeworth? 

Edgeworth: The story just now… seems to have a contradiction. It’s a minor detail, though. 

Larry: Well, it’s fine, isn’t it? It was ages ago! 

Phoenix: No way! I’m curious, Edgeworth. Tell me! 

Edgeworth: It’s simple. The girl who gave me the candy… wasn’t “Ruby”. 

Phoenix: Huh?!

Maya: T-then… Who was it? 

Edgeworth: If I recall, her name was… “Rosey”, I think. (1)

Phoenix: R…Rosey? Why would that girl… 

Edgeworth: Think back to it carefully, Wright. What exactly did you do that morning?

Phoenix: That morning… I went into school early carrying the candy… Ah! I asked where Ruby’s desk was. 

Maya: Woah, Nick. You didn’t even know where the girl you had a crush on sat?

Phoenix: We had just switched seats… Larry. Weren’t you the one I asked?

Larry: Huh? Ah. I-I guess so! 

Edgeworth: Back then, Larry. You must have misheard and mixed up “Ruby” and “Rosey”. 

Phoenix: Ah… Ahhhhhh…. 

Edgeworth: That’s why you were so surprised. You were convinced that Wright had a crush on “Rosey”. 

Larry: …….oops. 。

Maya: Rosey… She could have just returned the chocolates to Nick herself. 

Edgeworth: I suppose I was the class representative. 

Phoenix: L…Larry! Y-y-youuu….

Larry: Nah. I liked Rosey better, you see. 

Phoenix: That’s not a valid reason! 

Maya: But. Life works out in mysterious ways, huh? 

Phoenix: W-what do you mean by that? 

Maya: To think that you once couldn’t even handle exchanging chocolates, and now you’re dealing with matters of life and death! 

Larry: Yeah. That’s right! 

Phoenix: …I don’t think that’s the right way to close this conversation, Maya.

Notes:

Masterpost

From here on out there are no Shu Takumi blog parts, and it's just the characters talking. I've decided to post the pages out of order so that the illustration shows up first - so that these posts are a little easier to tell apart.

NB: I believe there is already a translation of this page and the next one floating about somewhere. I've decided to include my own for consistency and completeness.

Valentines Day

Valentines Day - a day that makes men’s hearts everywhere race with anticipation. Larry, whose ulterior motives are painfully obvious, seems to have shown up at Wright & Co Law Offices, but Phoenix isn’t in the mood. Will the chocolate turn out to be sweet, or not so sweet, for Phoenix?

Larry: Maya! I’m finished cleaning the toilet! 

Maya: Really? Thank you, Larry! 

Larry: What’s next? I’m ready to go all out. For you Maya, I’ll do anything… Especially today.

Maya: Well then. Could you redecorate the room for me?

Larry: Huh?

Maya: Could you take all of the furniture and put it outside?

Larry: …You know, I actually like a woman who knows what she wants… 

Phoenix: Hey. What are you doing, Larry? Today of all days.

Larry: Don’t be a dummy, Nick. You know what day it is today, don’t you?

Phoenix: Oh… Right. Valentine’s day, huh?

Larry: What?! Are you making fun of my Ms Valentine or something?! 

Phoenix: I don’t even know who that is.

Maya: It seems like you have some kind of bad memories, Nick? 

Phoenix: I don’t like it. ……Ever since the day I received chocolates from Edgeworth. 

Maya: Whaaaaaat?! N-n-nick and P-p-prosecutor Edgeworth?! 

Larry: Woaaaah! S-sorry, Nick! I didn’t realise things had turned out like that with you two! 

Phoenix: N-no! No! I didn’t mean it like that! 

Maya: Well, then, tell us! 

Phoenix: ….When I was in elementary school, there was this girl I liked. Her name was Ruby.(1)

Larry: Huh?! You liked that girl?! 

Phoenix: It was Valentine’s Day morning. When I got to school, there were chocolates on my desk. From her. 

Maya: Woah! But isn’t that a good thing?! 

Phoenix: Oh, I was over the moon… But. 

Maya: …But?

Phoenix: When I looked closer, it said “to Miles”. Written on the pink wrapper. 

Maya: To Miles… so it was for him after all, huh? 

Phoenix: His desk was close to mine. Miles Edgeworth’s. 

Larry: Ah. Yeah, that girl was pretty scatter-brained. I actually knew her pretty well. 

Phoenix: Well, for me, “scatter-brained” isn’t enough to resolve this case. 

Maya: Ah… So what then?

Phoenix: I had no choice, so I went to return it to Edgeworth. 

Larry: Hey. You really worry too much about little things. If it had been me, I wouldn’t have cared at all. 

Phoenix: I don’t know what you mean by “wouldn’t have cared”. 

Maya: So? What happened with Prosecutor Edgeworth?

Phoenix: I gave him the chocolates. And he said something like, “I’m sure you have a crush on Ruby, don’t you?” 

Maya: Huh? That’s kinda mean, Mr Prosecutor. Treating a girl’s feelings like that… 

Phoenix: I guess he tried to pass it off like a 'platonic chocolates'. (2)

Maya: How did he know that?

Phoenix: That morning, when he came to school, there were chocolates with that same pink wrapper on two different desks.

Maya: …So Ruby gave the same chocolates to another boy?

Larry: Ah, by the way. That was my desk. 

Maya: Huh?!

Larry: When I got to school that morning, there was a pink box on my desk.

Phoenix: W-what?! Y-you got some? From her?! 

Larry: Like I said before, I don’t care about the little things. 

Maya: …What do you mean by that? 

Larry: When I looked closer, it said “to Phoenix”. Written on the pink wrapper. 

Phoenix: ………………..What?

Larry: But hey. I figured, what’s on my desk is mine to keep. 

Maya: U-uhm. But Larry, your name isn’t… 

Larry: It’s just Larry. Larry Butz. 

Maya: So these chocolates… They were really for Nick… 

Phoenix: Ruby… got the desks… mixed up…? Again?

Larry: Didn’t I just tell you? That girl was totally scatter-brained. 

Phoenix: For me, “scatter-brained” isn’t enough to resolve this case! 

Larry: N-no, hold on, Nick! Why are you looking at me like that?! 

Phoenix: Then, Ruby really had chocolate for me…

Larry: But that’s just what Edgey said, wasn’t it? They were 'platonic chocolates'. 

Phoenix: Right… 

Larry: And anyway, didn’t you eat them? The ones you got from Edgey. 

Phoenix: Well… yeah. 

Larry: Well, there you are. The punchline doesn’t change in the end. 

Phoenix: …I guess not…?

Maya: Yeah… I’m finding it hard to wrap my head around this story… 

Phoenix: That’s exactly why I hate Valentine's Day. 

Notes

(1) Her original name in the text is Rumi.

(2) I decided to localise "giri chocolates" to "platonic". The literal translation is 'obligation chocolates'. Though, the obligation part isn't such a direct meaning. It's more like, typical for girls and women to give chocolates to male friends and co-workers without it being a romantic gesture.

As another fun fact, the timeline of this is slightly messed up (possibly). The academic school year in Japan begins in April, and we know that the class trial took place in summer. Since DL-6 happens in December, Miles, Phoenix, and Larry shouldn't have been friends during Valentines. So either Shu Takumi messed that up, OR this explicitly takes place before the class trial (which is a possibility) - in which case the idea that Miles was aware of Phoenix's crushes is even funnier to me.

It has occurred to me that individually linking to each and every article in this is quickly going to be annoying as the number of them grow, so for easy navigation I've decided to just create a master post that I will continue to update. Links will be added when they're up!

Article 1 - Summer

Article 2 - Festivals

Article 3 - Autumn of…

Article 4 - Memories: 1

Article 5 - Memories: 2

Article 6 - Memories: 3

Article 7 - Valentines Day

Article 8 - White Day

Article 9 - Fledglings and Rookies

Article 10 - Golden Week

Article 11 - Seasonal wardrobe change

Article 12 - Swimming in the ocean

Article 13 - Typhoon

Article 14 - Congratulations: Release of Rise from the Ashes

Article 15 - Trip

Article 16 - Shiwasu (師走)

Article 17 - New Years

Article 18 - Memories: 4

Article 19 + 20 - Turnabout and Goodbye (1 and 2)

Article 21 - Final Farewell

Bonus Book

Ace Attorney 2 is released - feature 1

Ace Attorney 2 is released - feature 2 + 3

Nice to meet you

Circus

First Snow

New Year's Eve