Iβve decided to just label myself as βqueerβ for now
Deciding to not label my sexuality rn, cause Iβm young and thereβs so so much self discovery and deconstruction that I need to do. Although it may seem like the label I identify with the most, I think jumping ahead and labeling myself as a lesbian isnβt very accurate until Iβve actually done the inner wok to know what my sexuality is. I also think itβs extremely harmful for actual lesbians for me to just go ahead and label myself as a lesbian if thatβs not really what I am(or maybe it is, idk yet). Thereβs no need to label myself, not yet. I need a lot of comphet and self discovery to get through. Yes. But being obsessed with a label isnβt going to help at all, nor isnβt it beneficial to the lesbian community. I am still INCREDIBLY sapphic and queer, but at the moment, Iβm just learning more about myself and who i am.
Iβm scared that I may be only attracted to women and not men because that means all that I know has all been a lie and that Iβll have to change the way I see everything. On top of that, I feel like Iβd be incredibly isolated because everything is centered around men and heterosexuality, Iβd get so much fomo because I want to be involved. But at the same time, Iβm scared that I am attracted to men because I donβt think I want to be with men. I donβt want to be in a relationship with men, I donβt want to be attracted to them at all, it feels so against me. Yes, I like looking at attractive men and having stupid crushes on male celebrities and characters, but I really canβt stand the idea of me being actually being vulnerable and intimate with men apart from it only being in my imaginations.
