they should invent a body that feels normal to be inside of

i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic

rolling up to Wendy's to get an erotic chicken sandwich

So you're saying I need to order a kinky chicken sandwich?

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over

Girlfriend won't stop point-and-clickmaxxing. Saying shit like "keys! I can use these!" And walking up to doors and announcing "it's locked." without touching the knob

Baby want SHRAMP

unpopular opinion: Vimes is kind of drama queen

Sam “held a burning hot coal until it nearly took the skin off his hand while maintaining perfect calm and eye contact with the asshole in need of intimidation Just Because” Vimes? Sam “sitting on the stoop with a mug of cocoa and a cigar, cautiously aware of every inch of the scene he’s building” Vimes? Sam “could just tear his sleeve to show the mark of the Summoning Dark but instead tears off his whole goddamn shirt” Vimes? A drama queen? Reaching a bit don’t you think

Yep, certainly doesn’t seem to describe Sam “pretends to eat poison as a power move” Vimes. Not Sam “buries an axe in the table in the Rats Chamber” Vimes.

I mean are we really talking about Sam “yes a whole room full of candles with wicks dipped in holy water is the best way to beat this vampire” Vimes, here? Sam “has fought bad guys on top of a speeding train AND a riverboat during a flood” Vimes, really? Definitely Sam “nearly gets shot in the head by a crossbow bolt that shatters his shaving mirror and then uses the bolt to prop up a shard of said mirror to finish shaving” Vimes we’re discussing here?

Discworld Heritage Post

having a belly outline while wearing a dress is a very beautiful and sexy accessory. anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is getting put in the shredder

the most disappointing thing about music is i can’t bite into it like an overripe peach

i listen to music at full volume but i’m chasing the feeling of biting into a peach so ripe that the juice runs down your face but with music but with music but with music