December 15th, 2022 - 10:29 PM

When we arrive at the party, it’s practically dead. There are about 20 people here, and they’re scattered around the main room as “Sex With Me” plays quietly. Nia glances around as she grabs my tank top and pulls me down, closer to her.

“Where the fuck is everyone?” She mutters. “I was trying to have fun tonight, not stand around with some posers.”

I look down and see Nia on her tippy toes to whisper in my ear. I pout and coo at her. “You and your... short… temper are adorable.” Paige snickers, and Nia glares at her. I jab Paige in the side. “Not too much from you, Bueckers.” Paige pokes me back, and I squeal as I pull out my phone and look at the time. “It’s only 10:30; we’re early as hell.”

Azzi sneaks a peek at my phone. “Nice lock screen, Calista.” Azzi must think I can’t see her because she looks at Nia and smirks. Once again, I look at my phone. My lock screen is a picture of a bunch of our friends, but cropped to only Paige and me. Paige tries to look, but I stuff my phone in my back pocket. 

Is it hot in here? I feel really hot. I’m drunk already. Fuck.

I’m burning red as I say, “Thanks Az. Anyways, let’s show these “posers” how to have some fun.” There’s a gleam in Paige’s eye. “Who the fuck are you?” She jokes, licking her lips.

I can’t lie about how that simple action made my stomach flip. I don’t understand how she does this to me. How is she so effortlessly charming? I breathe out heavily. That’s the thing. It’s effortless. She’s not doing it on purpose, so I should stop reading into it.

“Paige, why do you keep saying that? It’s me! It’s-”

“Cali girl!” My stomach drops as I turn around to a familiar voice. Waltzing on through the front door is my boyfriend, Cole. 

I chuckle nervously. “Hi Cole! I didn’t know you were coming.” Cole cocks his eyebrow. “Yes, you did, baby. Nia told you one of my buddies was throwing it.” As soon as Nia hears her name, she scoffs. “Keep my name out of your mouth.” Nia mutters. 

Cole purses his lips. “I don’t know why you hate me so much, King. We’re not that much different.” Nia’s eyes practically bug out of her head. “Not that different? Boy, if you ever say some dumb shit like that again, I’m strangling you.” 

“The fuck did you say to me?” Cole says. He’s fuming, and I’m not sure why. I place a hand on his chest. “Cool it. Stop provoking her, and do not make a scene right now.” I mumble to him. I put my hand back at my side, breathing shakily. 

I’m noticing out of the corner of my eye that Paige’s eyes are laser-focused on me. I try not to shrink four sizes under her stare as I point at Nia. “You too. I did not come out for my best friend and my boyfriend to fight.” I look back and forth at them as we stand in awkward silence. 

Paige must have noticed how uncomfortable I look and the way I’m about to burst into tears. “Um… let’s get something to drink for you, kiddo.” She walks past Cole and softly takes my hand in hers. Cole looks down at our connected hands and glares at Paige.

As Paige and I walk into the kitchen, I groan and bring her hand against my face. “Maybe we shouldn’t have left them alone. They probably will strangle each other.” Paige chuckles at my statement as she unlinks our hands and grabs a cup for me. “They’ll be fine, Cali. You shouldn’t stress about them; you can’t control their actions.” 

I sigh and hop up onto the counter. “You’re right.” I bite my lip. “Actually, no, you aren’t. If they make bad decisions, that reflects badly on me.” Paige hands me a cup halfway full of spiked punch and leans against the counter next to me. “I’m always right.” Paige rasps out. Her undying eye contact added on top of her words goes straight to my core. My breath catches in my throat as I glance down at her lips. “Oh, are you?” I whisper.

Paige narrows her eyes. “Yes. You know it too.” I chew on my bottom lip. “Remember when we had that drunk Taco Bell run and you said you wouldn’t have to shit after?” Paige groans, and I giggle. “You weren’t right then; were you?”

Paige holds up her finger and scowls at me. “Once. That was one time.” When she brings her hand down, she places it on my knee and squeezes. “You should listen to me, kiddo. I know it’s not what you want to hear, but it’s what’s best for you.”

I sigh and look down, trying to avoid her icy blue gaze. “Yeah.” I smile. “You’re right, P. Thank you.” Paige gives me a sympathetic smile. 

“PUT THAT PUSSY ON ME”

Paige gasps. “Oh my gosh, we need to go. This is my song!” She pats my legs, encouraging me to get off the counter. I roll my eyes as I sigh. “You’re such a dumbass. You go, I’ll catch up with you.” Paige's large grin quickly turns into a frown. “What?” She says it in a deadpan tone. “We’re going together, Cali. I’m not leaving you here by yourself.”

I place my hands on both of her shoulders. “You must. Go have fun; I’m going to finish my drink.” Paige pauses and turns down the corners of her face. “Okay. You better be in there with me in 5 minutes, or I’m coming back and finding your ass.” Paige says matter of factly. 

I put my hands in the air. “Jesus, Officer. I’m just a girl.” I smile and stick my tongue between my teeth as Paige exhales dramatically. “I’m not joking with you, Calista Hart. I’m supposed to be looking out for you.” I shove her away lightly. “Go,” I say, showing her my cup. “Almost done, see?”

Paige nods and retreats from the room, following the music. I want to immediately break down sobbing when she leaves. 

I need her presence. She gets me like no one else. But she left when I told her to go. How could she? I shake my hands and wipe my eyes, careful not to mess up my makeup. “You’re okay, Calista. Don’t be annoying.” I say to myself, sniffling. 

Just as I finish my drink, Cole walks into the kitchen. He sees me and raises his eyebrows in greeting. I’m taken aback. “Hello? No hello or anything?” I say sadly. Cole has his back to me as he fills up his cup. “Hey, Calista. I didn’t know if you’d see or hear me come in.” I cock my eyebrow. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

Cole turns around, steam pouring out of his ears and nose. “You know exactly what the fuck I’m talking about.” He chuckles angrily as he walks over to me, getting in my face. “I’m surprised you’re alone. I thought maybe your little friend would have her tongue down your throat.”

My eyes widen as his hot breath burns on the inside of my nose. Whiskey. “You’re drunk. You don’t know what you’re saying.” I say quietly, trying not to provoke him anymore. 

Cole puts his hands on the marble on either side of my legs, trapping me in. “I don’t know what I’m saying. You’re so full of shit. Do you think I don’t see the way you two eye-fuck each other? Just admit it, Cali. You have the hots for Paige Bueckers.”

Just say no. Just say no, Calista. He’s not even right… is he? No. He isn’t.

My jaw remains unlocked as I stutter. “I… I don’t…” Cole shakes his head as he pushes off of the counter. “That’s what I thought.” He runs his hands through his hair. “God, if I had known you were gonna go full lesbo, I would never have even looked your way.”

At this moment, I can feel my entire world come crashing down. My heart breaks into a million pieces. Someone who was supposed to love and protect me just spoke my worst fear into existence. Tears prick my eyes. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” I whisper.

Cole furrows his eyebrows together and turns away from me, pinching his nose. “No, don’t fucking cry right now. Don’t do that.” I bite my lip to stop it from quivering. Once the first tear rolls down, I can’t stop the rest of them from flooding my face. So much for my makeup.

“I need a fucking drink, cause—Cali?” Nia walks into the kitchen with Azzi. They both look at me and then see Cole. Nia walks over to Cole as Azzi goes to me.

“Are you okay, Calista?” Azzi says softly, brushing my hair out of my face. I don’t say words; I just sob in response. “Poor girl.” Azzi looks over at Nia, who is grilling the daylight out of Cole.

“What did you do? What did you say to her? Why is she crying?” Nia spits out questions at Cole, not giving him a second to answer.

Cole shakes his head. “I don’t answer to you, Nia.” He looks over at me. “You’re pathetic.” He whispers, his own tears coming to rise.

Nia covers her mouth in shock. “Oh my god. Why are you speaking? Why do you even exist on the same earth as MY friend?” Cole grimaces, but Nia is just getting started.

“You were never good enough for Calista, and you never will be. You’re not even in the same ballpark as her.” Nia’s being as calm as she can for my sake, but she pokes Cole’s chest. Hard.

“Get you and your fucking testosterone out of here. Don’t let me see your sorry ass ever again.” Cole rubs his chest where she poked him.

“Bitch, don’t put your hands on me. Fine. I don’t like to hang around people like you guys anyway.” 

Azzi puts her head in her hands as Cole walks away. “What an asswipe.” Azzi says under her breath. Nia walks over to me and wipes my cheeks. She holds my face in her hands. “You are the baddest bitch in town. It doesn’t matter who you love; that is still true.” I breathe out shakily. “He… he said that…” Nia and Azzi look at each other as I speak through broken sobs. I scratch my thighs as I try to collect myself. “He said… Paige…” I cover my mouth. Nia rubs my shoulder. “Oh, Cali… I know babe. It’s okay, it’s gonna be okay.” 

2:25 AM

Paige’s jaw is clenched, and she’s staring out the front windshield of her car. She turned the music off earlier, so we’re sitting in silence. Funny enough, this is the most comfortable I’ve felt all day. I’m playing with one of my brown curls, waiting for her to say something. Anything.

“Paige?” I croak out. “Penny for your thoughts?” Paige shakes her head with her mouth sewn tightly together. 

“I knew I shouldn’t have left you. I knew it. My gut told me not to, but I left because you asked me to.” Paige covers her mouth with her hand, shaking her head again. “I don’t even understand.”

I cock my head. “What don’t you understand?” I say quietly. “Why he said all that shit out of nowhere? It can’t have just been because he was drunk.” Paige finally looks over at me as she says this. 

My stomach twists because I’m withholding the truth from her. I didn’t tell Paige why Cole blew up at me, because how could I? It’s not my place to assume anything, and I don’t want things to be awkward.

“I don’t know why he said all of it. I really think the alcohol got to him. He’s really bad with whiskey.” Lie. I hope Paige can’t smell it on me. Paige cocks her eyebrow. If she knows I’m lying, she doesn’t say anything.

“Also, how long were you crying in the bathroom? I was only gone for an hour or so.” Her voice breaks, and my heart aches for her. I shake my head. “I…” I look down at my hands. Paige grabs my hands with hers. “Talk to me, kiddo.” I look at her, and she has a stupid smile on her face. Suddenly, I want to sob again. “It was because of something else. Let me finish the story.”

11:42 PM

“You good?” Paige says when I finally join her in the main room. She’s sitting on a stool, looking up at me even more. Fuck. 

I nod. “Sorry, someone peed on the floor in the kitchen, and it got on my shoes.” Lie. “I’m here now!” I look around, and there are a lot more people than when I was last here. “Damn, did someone advertise free booze or what?” 

Paige smiles. “It’s like you said earlier; we just came early.” Paige wraps her hands around my waist and pulls me closer to her. “Come here.” She mutters. This bitch and her physical touch. 

“You okay, P?” I hold the back of her head and tuck the strands that fell out of her bun back in.

“Mhm.” Paige mumbles as she buries her face in my abdomen. She pulls away to play with the belt loops on my jeans. “I’m tired already.”

You’re adorable is what you are. What? No. Shut up.

“Do you wanna go?” I say softly. I’m half praying she says yes because I want to go home and cry in my pillow, but I’m also hoping she says no so that I can get absolutely shitfaced.

Paige shakes her head. “Nah. Let’s stay.” I smile and nod. As Paige and I are making small talk, I notice a couple of her teammates just arrived at the party. Nika Mühl, Caroline Ducharme, and Aubrey Griffin. Carol sees us first, so she waves and walks over.

“Hi Calista! Hi Paige.” Caroline opens her arms, inviting me in for a hug. I take it, pulling her in tight. “Hi Caroline! Did you get Murphy home okay? I miss the guy already.” Caroline laughs as Nika and Aubrey come over. “Yeah, I got him home. He’s such a little stinker.” 

Paige wrinkles her nose. “Not too much on my dawg. Literally.” Nika rolls her eyes and pulls on Paige’s bun, causing her to shriek. “Hi ladies.” Nika’s greeting is short and sweet as she smiles at me. 

“How are you dijete?” Nika’s body language is casual, but her eyes are narrating that she can tell something is wrong. “I’m good.” I say quietly. Lie. Nika cocks her head, licking her lips. She’s about to say something else when Aubrey softly butts in. 

“Hi Cali.” Aubrey says as she plays with the strings of her hoodie. Every time Aubrey speaks, I can’t help but break into a full-faced grin. She’s the most adorable and softspoken person I’ve ever met. “Hi Aubs. It’s really good to see you.” Aubrey beams. 

“Jesus, get a room, you two.” Paige jesters. I frown and flick her forehead. Nika bursts out laughing. “Oh shit, is it abuse Paige day?" This is my favorite day of the year.”

“Nika, you don’t even need a day. You abuse me every fucking second.” Paige fake sniffles, and I chuckle. “I have an idea.” Everyone looks at me, awaiting my answer. “Let’s get fucked up.”

12:58 AM

My pulse rings louder in my ears than the music playing. How many drinks have I had? One? Seven? I don’t know and I don’t care. All I care about is the girl I’m dancing with right now. Her hands roam my waist and caress my body. I hear something along the lines of “you’re so hot” come out of her mouth. I don’t respond; I just keep dancing. All of a sudden, I realize I’ve lost my best friend. I’ve lost my Paige. Where’d she go?

I don’t even acknowledge the girl as I stumble out of the room, calling out for Paige. I walk down a hallway that seems much longer than it was earlier. I’m so fucking dizzy. I open every door, hoping to find my Paige. One of the doors opens to reveal Nia straddling Azzi’s lap, and they’re making out. I gasp, but they don’t hear or see me. I shut the door and shrug.

I reach the last door at the end of the hallway. I open it, and it’s pitch black in the room. “Paige?” I slur out. I fumble and reach for the light on the wall. I rub my eyes and adjust to the new light pouring into them. 

I wish I walked out then. I wish I never turned on the light. I wish I never opened the door. No one should have to see their ex-boyfriend eating another girl out the day he broke up with them after accusing them of wanting their best friend.

I don’t remember throwing my shoes at Cole and that stupid girl. I don’t remember running to or getting in the bathroom. I don’t remember the tears spilling, and I definitely don’t remember when I started hearing Paige pounding on the door.

“Please open the door. Talk to me.”

thank you for reading! with love, cj ᡣ𐭩