Iron Lung is truly The Movie ever. It's completely independently made. It was the three time #1 movie in America. To cut costs for its vfx Markiplier built a render farm in his bathroom using parts he got off eBay. It used 80,000 gallons of fake blood. Jacksepticeye gets blasted with a cancer ray. This movie is about the indomitable human capacity for HOPE. It sent Mark to the hospital (again)(on his birthday) because he got expired, make-up dissolving blood in his eyes. It shows you a man you know so surely is doomed from the very start and yet hope so desperately will survive til the very end. I once saw this man drink his own piss from a brita filter on a channel that no longer exists. This movie has made more than 12 times its own budget of 3-4 million. The creative producer had to plead with said man to not pee in their brita filter (and eventually failed). This movie asks us at what point does the punishment not fit the crime. Could anyone deserve this, no matter the blood on their hands? Was there even a crime? Aren't we all guilty anyways? Mark was "assured there was a purpose" to the shirtless harness scene. This movie is one of the best examples of genuine human passion I have ever seen. The crew started drawing their own silly Mark variants using his makeup template and hung them all up on the wall. This is THE MOVIE ever. Seethe Hollywood.
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Hello! Your headcanons on Wukong/Destined One had me giggling so much 😊 they're so great, couldn't stop rereading.
Um, if it's alright, can I ask for some Wukong/Destined One x Reader with their baby? Feral daddy monkey in his nesting phase with his mate and baby is so— 🤭
Absolutely! I have a lot of thoughts and the people demand more monkey business- so let's get down to it.
❤ Wukong
Starting with the pregnancy~
He is ELATED.
The idea of a proper heir had never crossed his mind because well- he's immortal. He doesn't need one. But that doesn't mean the idea of his own flesh and blood isn't positively exciting.
There's a chance he knows you're pregnant before you do. What with all of his special powers and heightened senses.
Celebrates privately with you of course but it becomes a mountain-wide event very quickly.
You are showered with praise and blessings by all the monkeys.
He will never miss a chance to brag that he's going to have a baby. And he's definitely smug about it too, thinks your child is going to surpass even his power.
When you start showing he gets more smothering.
Don't forget our king's fatal flaw! He thinks he knows what's best.
Will limit how much you travel and makes sure you always have at least two attendants by your side while he's gone.
Which, once you get further along, isn't often. There were plenty of superstitions about pregnancy in ancient China, as well as a high infant mortality rate- and that's not even counting what complications could happen due to the magical nature of your child. So he'd be stressed.
He expresses stress through aggression (canon), though it's never pointed at you. He'd be fiercely protective over the mountain, but especially any of the areas you regularly stay in. He'd be very snappy at everyone for the entire second half of the pregnancy, except you of course, who he'd be showering with praise and reverence.
Likes holding your stomach while you rest and tells your baby about the great lineage they're being born into, recounting his titles and strength and promising them they'd be greater.
He's hoping for a boy, but he's assured his child will be spectacular regardless of the gender.
When you give birth he will be extremely focused. He can't afford to be weak in a moment when you need him most. (Though your cries of pain and effort will certainly make his heart ache.)
As you're holding your baby for the first time, his teasing, smug attitude is nowhere to be seen. He just looks at you as if you'd given him the universe itself.
Cutest baby ever might I add 👆.
It's a Chinese tradition that only immediate family is allowed to meet the baby for the first 100 days after it's born, so it'd just be you and him for a majority of three months unless you invite your family to meet them.
In traditional fashion, on the 100th day a banquet is held to officially introduce the baby to everyone. And MY GOD would it be an event...
Besides all of the monkeys on the mountain who want to celebrate their new prince/princess, I can't even imagine how many celestials and demons would come to pay their respects and blessings- be it out of fear or respect.
Either way, expect a very long day and a LOT of gifts.
^ Wukong doesn't leave your side for the entire day. I dare someone to try and pull something.
You'd expect with his trickster personality that he'd be a very lenient dad, but Wukong is surprisingly dutiful in making sure your child doesn't turn out lazy or ignorant.
That by no means is to say he wouldn't be a wonderfully playful father. He'd have a wonderful connection with his child, and his most important lesson to them would be to respect their mother ;)
More of a one kid kind of guy, so he'd probably stop after the first, unless you had twins or triplets.
As protective as he was with you when you were pregnant, he's pretty chill with the actual kid. He knows they're durable and will let them get roughed up doing dumb stuff.
Carries them around hanging off his tail and will pretend like he doesn't know where they went.
It's like how cats will let their babies 'sneak up on them' to encourage them to keep trying. He does the same thing with your kid when they try to trick him.
Your baby would be the most respectful little shit ever. A little shit nonetheless, but would do anything for you or their father.
All the monkeys on the mountain help keep an eye on the little sage so you'll never feel lost or alone in parenting. It's very much a joined effort and your baby will see the other monkeys as their family as well!
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💙 The Destined One
Give him a bunch of babies I beg you.
He'd get addicted, he wants a big family for SURE.
When you first tell him you're pregnant he'll probably take some time to fully soak it in.
You'll be used to being patient with him at this point, but I imagine something like this is really nerve wracking so don't feel bad if you rush him for a response.
He'll put a hand on your stomach as if he's checking for himself before picking you up and smothering you with love.
He's not a chatty guy but he'll let you know how happy he is!
^ That being said, during your pregnancies is the most talkative he'll ever be.
He doesn't want you to stress about communicating and knows your body is going through a lot so he pushes himself to talk more to make sure you get everything you need.
That doesn't mean he'll be a chatterbox by any means. More than nothing is still very slim :')
Expect a lot of one word questions.
Trusts you more than he trusts his own instincts. His instincts tell him you shouldn't be climbing or moving around much- but if you want to, who's he to tell you what to do? He's not the one pregnant 🤷♀️
Follows you around like a guard dog when you do though, doesn't matter what you're doing.
Somehow even more physically affectionate than normal. Will insist on holding your hand when you walk so you can lean your weight on him.
When you start showing he'll be amazed. It's not that he's never seen a pregnant person before but like... That's his baby in there and he can't believe it.
His favorite thing to do is lay his head against your stomach while you're resting. Will kiss your skin and adore the life you're making.
You can catch him whispering things to your baby while he's resting his head on your stomach.
Your body is going to ache and he is more than happy to massage it for you. He doesn't even need an excuse to touch you, but he'll find them anyway.
Once you get further along and it gets harder for you to get around, he'll pick you up and take your wherever you want to go- within reasonable distance from your home of course. Not because he can't take you further, he just doesn't want to in case something happens.
But he wants to make sure you get fresh air and still see the beauty outside of your bed.
Doesn't trust anyone to watch you. It's him or nothing.
Makes offerings and prays to the goddess of childbirth. He does this a few times before you catch him and start helping.
He's a bundle of nerves when you're giving birth. If you weren't preoccupied, it'd probably be painfully obvious how nervous he was.
Holds you while you hold your baby and will not stop telling you how much he loves you and how perfect the baby is.
Gets baby fever bad.
Baby will be spoiled, and so will any other baby after that.
Huge advocate for carrying the baby. If you're not opposed to it, he probably carries them more than you.
Has the most deadpan look on his face as he looks at this baby but he has so much adoration for his little miracle.
Stressing over your baby crying in the middle of the night? Not with him! He's at that babies beck and call.
Watching a nearly mute man deal with a curious child is definitely amusing and you get a front row seat.
Your children kind of just accept that their dad doesn't talk much, but he'll always tell them he loves them if they say it to him.
Takes them everywhere with him so he can teach them. Is SO proud when the oldest starts helping teach the younger ones.
He's proud of them in general honestly.
Your kids are going to be super loving and curious. I think he'd foster really healthy relationships between all of them.
You'd have a whole team taking care of you if you ever got sick.
ᯓ★ reader has serious anger issues, lots of cursing, drinking irresponsibly, violence (not too graphic), reader goes by they/them (gender: New York), I love crashing out
When I say you're a crashout, you are.
How you even got to be apart of the boys in the first place was all because of Mallory.
She knew one way or another that Butcher's pride and ego would cause the team to die, and that nobody would be able to reach his level in order to stop him.
So that's where you come in.
Your mouth dirtier than the sewers of New York and your eyes sharper than any blade to ever be made.
You're literally a ticking bomb.
"You're not doing it right" Hughie said, sitting at the back seat of the van as you try to hot wire it.
It was one of those plans where things had gone completely sideways.
It ALSO happens to be the days where you're most over the edge.
"I don't know man..." You uttered.
"Maybe... maybe SOME BITCHASS M0THERFUCKER WOULD SHUT THE FUCK UP AND STOP WHINING LIKE A 2 YEAD OLD, WE'D BE OUT OF HERE BY NOW!! WOULDN'T THAT BE WONDERFUL??!?!" You shouted at him and you can see him sinking into his seat each time a word comes out of your mouth.
"R-Right..." He gulps.
Cue another hour of you trying to hot wire the thing.
..
You guys ended up calling an uber.
Anything triggers you, the way someone's breathing, smacking their lips, even the way their eyeballs move. It makes you wanna destroy anything you set your eyes on.
Everytime you're at the office, you're either complaining, shouting, kicking things over or all of the above.
It happens so frequently that the others started to bet what you'd do first and see who wins the cash.
"Oh shit, they're here...!" Frenchie pats Kimiko on the shoulder and they quickly went back to their places, acting as though they have been working the entire time.
Even though you were still walking up the stairs, your loud voice talking over the phone could be heard. The thing is you're not even shouting, that's just the volume and you just can't tone it down.
"Fuck you mean you can't go through with my order!" You raised your voice and the two that were secretly eavesdropping made eye contact with each other.
Clearly anticipating what you'll do next.
You stood by the open window and after a while of whatever it was the person was telling you over the phone. You took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of your nose.
The two shared a knowing look.
Oh boy here it comes...
"Okay fine, you can cancel the order. I don't really care" You sighed, almost too calmly and the two were confused, communicating with each other using facial expressions.
"But you know what I care about? WhoeVER THE FUCK APPROVED YOUR SHIT ASS BAKERY!! YOU CANT EVEN MAKE A CAKE ON TIME!! HA AH I MEAN YOU GOT A HIDDEN TALENT OR SOMETHING??!! NO NO, YOU DON'T TELL ME TO SHUT UP!! HOW ARE YOU, A SAD EXCUSE OF A HUMAN BEING WAS ABLE TO RUIN A CAKE?? EVEN THE KIDS ON THAT FUCK ASS TV SHOW COULD DO BETTER THAN YOU!! I—" You were gonna throw more insults until you stopped at the sound of them hanging up on you.
You stare at your phone for a moment before shouting words like 'fuck' and 'bitch' while at the same time grabbing the nearest vase of flowers and throwing it to the wall.
But that wasn't all, you then proceeded to grab a wooden chair and started smashing it on the flower until it's all completely ruined.
At the same the chair was broken, if the legs didn't break you would have went on.
You were busy catching your breath, the legs of the chair still in your hand and once you look up to see if anyone was watching.
Frenchie and Kimiko were quick to look away, pretending to be busy with the tasks given them.
"Fuck this, I'm getting drunk" You threw what's left of the chair and began walking away.
Once you were gone, Kimiko looked at Frenchie with a smirk, her hand signalling him to give over her bet money.
Here comes the good stuff.
Butcher hates you very dearly.
His accent just magically becomes thicker whenever he's angry.
His british versus your nyc is literally the fight of the century.
"We’re goin’ after that prick tomorrow as told. So if you lot wanna debate like a bunch of schoolgirls at a tea party, I’ll be at the armory loadin" He said, clearly sensing the doubt on everyone's face.
"Let me just be honest. Your plan sucks ass, and it's not the smooth firm ones but the hairy unshaved, shit stained cracks" You said and he looks at you, doing his typical head tilt.
"O yeah? Ya head full of piss couldn’t even plan a fookin’ picnic if a map was stuck to yur face. Now piss of' before I re'rrange ya fookin’ teeth"
"ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER!! REMEMBER YOUR FUCKING VOWELS!"
You both will never get along. That's why in every mission you're paired with not him.
Neither does MM but he has no say in it 🤷♂️
He's tried giving you therapy but you just end up getting mad and start hitting things.
"I don't know I'm just born this way" You said, back leaned against the chair. He nods.
"Well have you ever considered taking medication?" He suggested and it ticked you off.
"Medication?? You think I got some fucking mental illness??" He tenses up, realising he has said the wrong thing after making sure he was being careful with his words for the past few minutes.
He lifts both his hands up, as if trying to calm you down as he soothes you by saying
"Alright, that's on me, I was just—"
"NONONO YOU DON'T TALK TO ME IN THAT CALM VOICE. WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK ARE?? CHRIS PRATT FROM JURASSIC WORLD?!?!" Without even realising, you were already reaching for his desk lamp and throwing it at him, which he manages to dodge in time.
If you happen to be a supe, this would be your superpower.
Bhad Bhabie got nothing on you.
Homelander's first impression of you was literally you insulting him while you were pinned down by him in a fight.
He still remembers it word for word.
Your insults so wild he forgot what he was even doing anymore.
He prays to never see you again because he does not want to hear more from you. Like how you called him a Facebook's dad wet dream and his suit a rejected Magic Mike costume.
Congratulations, you just gave him another insecurity to think about 😭😭
Regardless of whatever people think of you, you've proven to the team how you're a valuable asset by pretty much being the reason why 50% of the missions were executed well.
Turns out your dirty mouth came with a clean set of skills.
However you also happen to like to get your hands dirty.
"What the fuck happened to you?" Butcher asked as you regroup with everyone else.
Some fabric of your clothes torn and you're completely soaked in blood, but it's not yours so you just grunted at him.
"Doing your fucking job while you were busy getting a blow job by your boss"
Yes, you do have several stress toys which Kimiko got for you but you happen to have this ability to destroy all of them.
So what helps you? Music obviously. If its not that then it's one of your hobbies that feels therapeutic to you.
Obviously it'd be no surprise that a rage room would be one of them.
Except every room is a rage room for you 😞
Even though the boys are scared of you, they still let you stick around because to be fair, everyone's fcked up in the group.
