azura

You practically jumped at the sound of Kazuha’s voice, turning around to find that he was already right behind you. When did he even get there? You didn’t hear any footsteps. Ignoring your messy state, Kazuha flashed you a smile and gently placed his hand on your head. “You haven’t forgotten, have you? How will you repay me, Y/N?”

Of course you hadn’t forgotten. You still had nightmares about it. How could you possibly forget the way he had leaned close to you and whispered those words that could mean a thousand things at once?

“How are you going to take responsibility?”

You mentally groaned at the reminder of how your stomach did backflips upon hearing those words, but you showed no visible reaction. Instead, you grabbed his hand to remove it from your poor head and put on a clueless expression. “Repay what?”

“Repay me for interrupting my sleep yesterday.” Kazuha scoffed, pulling his hand back from you. His voice seemed to have an edge of frustration to it, but it wasn’t like him to get annoyed over something as trivial as this. Maybe it was your mind doing that— wait, why would your mind want to hear Kazuha being frustrated? That made no sense. You must be losing your mind. Maybe it’s the seasickness. No, Y/N, you work on a ship. Get help.

“…I let you sleep on my shoulder. Was that not enough?”

“No.”

You gulped, looking away to avoid his gaze. It was way too intense, way too piercing… damn it, where were the soft and caring eyes that he always had until a minute ago? A few moments passed before Kazuha sighed and took your hand in his, causing your entire face to heat up. “Y/N. Please look at me.”

The desperation in his voice gave you no choice but to comply. The second your eyes landed on his, his face lit up with a warm smile. “I’m sorry for being harsh earlier. I was just- I- was frustrated, a bit, just a little bit.”

You stared at Kazuha, unable to believe that he was stumbling over his own words and getting frustrated at the same time. Those were supposed to be your job. Did the sun suddenly rise from the west and bring taboo to Teyvat? You blinked at his words, unsure how to react. “Frustrated over what? Did something happen?”

Instead of answering, the corners of Kazuha’s lips turned up and he let out a quiet laugh before taking a step closer to you.

“Kazuha, what-“ you never finished your sentence, because you were effectively shut up when Kazuha leaned down and rested his forehead on your shoulder. Your hand was still gripped in his, and you had no intention of letting go. What were you going to say to him earlier? You couldn’t remember. Oh well, if you forgot about it so easily, it must’ve been something unimportant.

“You, Y/N. I’m frustrated because of you.”

“Huh? What did I even do?”

“You just can’t get a hint…”

“What’s that supposed to mean? Hey, get off me!” You demanded, although you made no attempt to push him away. You suspected that you already knew exactly what he meant, but you didn’t want to assume things so quickly, especially not the fact that Kazuha might return your feelings. It would only result in wishful thinking.

Kazuha obeyed and let go of your hand, much to your disappointment. He then lifted his head up to look at you again and spoke to you softly, “I think you know what I mean, Y/N. Now, how do you plan to repay me?”

If you could choose between staying here with Kazuha or jumping off the ship, you’d choose the latter. At least the cold sea would help wash away the redness of your face, not worsen it. “I-I don’t know! What do you want me to do?”

Kazuha looked left and right — was he making sure that nobody was watching? — before he shyly raised his hand to his own face and pointed a finger at his lips.

You blinked. No, no, that was impossible. He was definitely toying with you — teasing you as always. The moment you would lean forward to give him what you thought he wanted, he would take a step back, amusement glinting in his eyes and that stupid smile on his face as he asks innocently : “what are you doing, Y/N? I was going to say that I wanted something to eat.”

And so, you stayed where you were and simply stared at him, waiting for him to finish his sentence and elaborate before you did anything stupid.

Kazuha, like you, made no movement at all. He kept his finger pointed at his lips while waiting for you to say something. By the time he finally accepted that you were never going to make the first move and slowly lowered his hand, his cheeks had turned into the same color as the streak of red in his hair. “You- you don’t want to? It’s alright. Forget it.”

You nearly choked on your own saliva. “W-what? I don’t want to what? What did you want me to do?”

“…You still have no clue what I want you to do?”

“Of course I do, but you mess with me so often that- that I’m scared I might make a fool out of myself if I- I assume things…”

“Y/N, I assure you, I’m being completely sincere right now,” Kazuha insisted, scrambling forwards to take both your hands in his. “I… I really want you to kiss me.”

The moment Kazuha said those words, he winced and looked at the ground. He released your hands and pulled away from you. “I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable. I shouldn’t have asked for something like that from you, and-“

You didn’t let him finish his sentence. Like hell you would allow him to think that you were uncomfortable, that you didn’t want to kiss him. It was the opposite, for Archons’ sake, and if he thought that you were going to let this opportunity slide, then he must be doing a terrible job in reading you.

Before he could finish, you had pulled him closer by the collar of his clothes and pressed your lips against his. You were in no way an experienced kisser — you never had any to begin with — but that was the least of your concerns now. Right now, you could only repeat the same words over and over in your head : ohmygodimkissingkazuhaohmygodimkissingkazuhaohmygodimkissingkazuhaohmyg-

You finally released your grip on Kazuha’s clothes when you pulled away for air, and Kazuha stumbled backwards, his eyes wide and his chest heaving up and down. You were in no better condition — you slapped your hand over your mouth in disbelief, partly to hide your blushing state and partly because you couldn’t believe that you just pulled Kazuha by the collar and kissed him.

Of course, Kazuha was the first to gain back his composure. He stepped towards you with the widest smile you’ve ever seen on him, and he gently tugged at your wrist to remove your hand from your mouth. Still grinning, he cupped your cheeks in his palms. “I didn’t know you could be so bold, Y/N.”

“S-shut up, you were the one who asked for it…”

“Ask for what, exactly? I never asked for anything.”

“K-Kazuha!”

“Alright, alright,” he let out a laugh — the same laugh as the one you heard yesterday. The one that you were so desperate to hear once more, no matter what you had to do. You couldn’t help but smile. Before you knew it, he had closed his eyes and leaned closer to your face, lips hovering just inches away from your own. You shut your eyes in anticipation, expecting another kiss when you felt a pair of warm lips brush against your cheek.

Your eyes fluttered open. “What- why’d you do that?”

“Do what? Where did you want me to kiss you?”

“You know where I want you to kiss me.”

Kazuha placed a finger over your lips, still with that sly smile of his. “Of course I do. But if you want me to kiss you there, you’ll have to say it out loud, Y/N. How else am I supposed to know what you want?”

You sighed in exasperation, not believing that you were letting yourself be humiliated by a man. Then again, Kazuha wasn’t just any man. This is worth it, you repeated to yourself as you raised your finger to your lips. This is worth it. I’ll sacrifice my dignity just this once.

No, no, no. You were aboard the Crux long enough to notice how Kazuha could never seem to fall asleep when in the presence of someone else. He would shut his eyes, but his eyebrows would be furrowed and his lips would form a small, annoyed pout. It was obvious how he was trying to get some sleep but failing miserably. With his heightened senses, even the slightest trickling of a drizzle would keep him awake all night.

The quiet nature was the only place where Kazuha could be sound asleep, his expression painting a serene state that you wished you could stare at forever. Maybe you should take a picture- wait, no. Taking someone’s picture without consent was something that creeps do. You were not a creep.

Instead, you decided to admire him from up close, just this once. Surely that was allowed? It was as if your body moved on its own, taking light steps to avoid waking him up. You stepped over a couple of dried leaves before finally arriving at his side, narrowing your eyes at him to make sure that you hadn’t accidentally woken him up. Nope, still sound asleep. You quietly sat down beside him — hugging your legs to your chest with your chin propped against your knees as you continued to stare at him. You’ve noticed since the first time you spotted him in the forest that there was a maple leaf the same color as his red streak resting on his head, but now up close, you could no longer resist the urge to reach out and pluck the leaf from his hair.

Just this once, you thought.

Your arm had just been outstretched halfway to him when a thought rudely interrupted you. What if he woke up? All of Kazuha’s senses were heightened beyond mortal comprehension, and it wouldn’t be a surprise if he woke up as soon as the leaf was removed from his head. Then, you’d have to explain to him why you were sitting beside him and why your hand was on his head. Knowing Kazuha, he wouldn’t let this slide so easily. He’d continue asking you questions and teasing you with saccharine dripping from his tongue as always.

As a former author, you’ve always thought that his sappy poems were passable at best. It was a relief that swordsmanship was his real specialty. If he decided to put down his sword and pick up a pen instead, he wouldn’t survive a day in Teyvat. Ironically, you soon found out that Kazuha was most poetic when he wasn’t even trying.

Your thoughts traveled back to a time when you had asked him something you were curious about — how he could stay so carefree with a smile on his face despite everything he’s been through. Everything and everyone he lost.

“That’s easy,” Kazuha had answered. “The answer is time. I guess it’s been so long since it all happened, that I realized it’s wiser to step forward instead of dwelling on the shadows of my past.”

“But it must’ve been difficult to step forward on your own,” you had retorted, still not understanding how he could take everything so lightly.

“Of course not. But I wasn’t alone. I had Captain Beidou. And of course, I had you.” Kazuha placed a hand on your head and ruffled your hair affectionately, eliciting a groan of protest from you.

“Also, what I say isn’t necessarily what I truly feel. I sometimes lie and say that everything’s fine, when it’s not. It’s a habit,” Kazuha added, pulling his hand back and looking away.

So it was true. Kazuha’s nature, the way he smiled at everyone and pretended to act all innocent was only a mask, a mask he put on so that people would surround him. Maybe, he thought by doing that, he could earn the affections of others that could fill up the hole in his heart. You felt ashamed for not being able to realize this about Kazuha when all he had done was read you like an open book, always knowing what you truly felt even when you tried your hardest to cover it up with humor.

“But you don’t have to worry,” Kazuha said, quickly sensing that he had caused a misunderstanding. “Everything I say or do around you isn't meant to fool you.”

“Then, what are they meant for?”

You could never forget the way Kazuha shut his eyes and smiled at you that day, sunlight glistening on his skin and casting a warm hue against his pale skin. You could never forget how soft his voice was when he answered, “They’re meant to make you smile.”

Now, looking at his sleeping figure, you wished that you could do more for him. For him, you wanted to become what he was to you. Someone kind, understanding, and charming. Someone who he liked. Archons, you were so selfish for wanting him to like you as much as you liked him-

“How long are you going to wait, Y/N?”

You were forcibly snapped from your thoughts when Kazuha spoke without warning. Your heart jumped out of your chest and you immediately recoiled, blinking in confusion. “You- you were awake?”

“The sound of your breathing was too loud, of course I was awake.”

“I- then why didn’t you say anything?” You demanded, looking away to hide the blush that you knew had spread across your entire face at this point.

Kazuha reached up to brush the maple leaf off his own head. “I wanted to see what you would do.”

He was laughing. You swore that one day, you’d do something — anything — to hear that laugh again. But right now, he was getting on your nerves. This bastard. He was teasing you again.

You whipped around in protest, not caring that your blush was in full view for him to taunt you even further. “Kazuha! You-“

“I what?” The second you turned around, Kazuha leaned closer to you, eyes glinting with amusement. “Come on, please don’t leave me hanging.”

“Smooth talker,” you mutter under your breath.

“Me? I’m no smooth talker. You’re the one who’s too easy to tease.”

Oh. Enhanced hearing. You forgot.

“You… need to stop teasing me,” you managed to say without your voice cracking. Normally, when he leaned closer towards you like this, you would lean away by reflex — but this time you refused to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he had a certain effect on you. You stayed unmoving, although you were so flustered by his proximity that you started blinking rapidly. If anyone else were sitting in front of you, they’d think you were sending them a message using Morse code.

Kazuha smiled and placed his bandaged finger underneath your chin, angling your head upwards and leaving you no choice but to look him in the eye. “Why? Is it distracting?”

“I get distracted by everything. You’re not special.”

“Ah,” Kazuha said, trying his best to sound disappointed but unable to hide the small smile forming on his lips. “Am I not special to you? I’m wounded.”

You scoffed and turned your head away to hide your grin from him. In front of others, Kazuha was always calm and collected. But around you, he was cheeky. Childish, even. It was something that you found endearing. “Really? Are you gonna cry about it? What do you want me to do, apologize?”

“Apologize?” Kazuha repeated, bemused. “You interrupted my first good sleep in days, Y/N. I’ll need much more than just an apology.”

Before your (very) slow brain could assess the current situation, Kazuha had leaned towards you. Again. So close, too close, that his cheek brushed against yours. Then, he whispered, his breath brushing against the shell of your ear.

“How are you going to take responsibility, hm?”

T-take responsibility?

Your mind did a quick evaluation of a hundred different scenarios that this sentence might lead to, and none were appropriate enough to be included in a conversation with your darling mother. Or even Captain Beidou, and considering how she rambles about Lady Ningguang, that said a lot.

Enough. He had teased you enough. You grabbed both of his shoulders and forcibly shoved him away from you. “Enough! I- I need to report back to Captain Beidou. You- you just continue your peaceful beauty sleep.”

“Are you implying I’m beautiful?”

“I’m implying you should shut up.”

Kazuha’s eyes widened at your sharp tone, before his eyes softened and his smile returned. “You seem to be in a bad mood today, Y/N.”

“Am not,” you huffed, placing both your hands on the ground to prop yourself upwards and leave. But before you could stand, Kazuha’s hand grabbed your arm. You weren’t aware that you were currently on stage in a soap opera.

“Don’t leave,” Kazuha said, voice so soft that it might’ve been mistaken as a whisper from the breeze. “Not yet.”

“..You need to sleep. You said that you haven’t gotten a good sleep in days.”

“I know. I’ll sleep. But you don’t have to leave, do you?”

“I’ll see you on the ship, Kazuha. I know you can’t sleep with other people around.”

Kazuha’s grip tightened, but his eyes darted to his side and he sucked in his lips. Was he flustered? You’ve seen him embarrassed when people compliment his poetry “skills”, but you had never seen him flustered, not even once. Was it because of you? Does that mean…

“You’re right. I can't. But you’re… you’re not other people, Y/N. You can stay. Please, just this once.”

With his pleading, how could you refuse? You sighed, returning to your sitting position. “Fine, I’ll stay.”

You might have been imagining it, but you swear that Kazuha had tightened his grip once more before letting go. “Thank you.”

Knowing that you’d probably set yourself on fire if you decided to look at Kazuha now, you decided to look around and admire the scenery before you. As an artist, you’ve always been the one to appreciate nature. You would admire all the petals of a flower and count how many butterflies you’ve spotted that day. But now, as Kazuha leaned his head on your shoulder and hooked his arm over yours, you couldn’t focus on anything else. Not when he was so close, not when you could feel his breath on your neck and his lips pressing against your bare shoulder. You didn’t dare move in case you woke him up again.

Maybe, just this once, you would ignore nature. Just this once, you would dare to intertwine your fingers around his without getting nervous or flustered.

Kaveh whined some more about how he couldn’t wait to see this surprise of yours, but you were no longer listening. You needed a moment of silence to lament on your stupidity.

That day, you were too busy chasing your college professors for recommendations on internship programs. Most of your friends had settled for an internship program months ago, but you had thought that it was a good idea to procrastinate instead. Now that the consequences were staring you right in the face, you didn’t exactly have the right to complain about it. You had no choice but to stay in the college building filling out forms and reaching out to different companies although your classes had ended before lunch. It wasn’t until you were writing the date for your fifth form that you had realized a rather important fact.

It was Kaveh’s birthday.

Correction : it was nearly the end of Kaveh’s birthday, and you had completely forgotten about it.

If there was an international award for the worst friend in the world, you would’ve made it into the newspaper headlines. Damn it. There was no time to pack your things, so you simply snatched your phone and raced to your college’s library — frantically pushing down the doors and ignoring how the librarian turned to glare at the sudden noise. Much to your relief, Kaveh was slumped on a beanbag at the corner of the library as usual. He was lying on his back as he held up his sketchbook as far as he could from his face, squinting at it.

Feeling a bit mischievous, you snatched the sketchbook from him and hid it behind your back. Kaveh immediately rolled off the beanbag to look up at you with a vexed expression. “Hey! What was that for?”

You snorted at his reaction, stepping back. “Happy birthday.”

Kaveh quickly scrambled up and sat back onto the beanbag, any traces of his previous annoyance gone and replaced with a bright smile. “You remembered? I- I thought you forgot…”

“You idiot, how could I forget?”

You did forget.

You were thankful that Kaveh couldn’t read minds, because his smile only grew wider. “Thank you, Y/N. I appreciate it.”

Seeing him so happy, you didn’t have the heart to tell him that you came with no gifts. Considering how popular Kaveh was, he probably received a pile of gifts from his other friends, which made you feel slightly better because one less gift wouldn’t affect him that much. Still, you felt terrible. You should’ve rushed to buy a gift before coming here. You were about to apologize about not having a gift, before noticing from the window behind him that the sun was starting to set. That was when you got the idea.

“You’re free, right?” You asked urgently. “Can you come with me? Just for a while?”

“Huh? Why? I do have a project that I need to work on—“

“Kaveh, it’s your damn birthday. Your project can wait.”

“It really can’t. The deadline is tomorrow.”

“…dude. Just for a while? You can continue it tonight,” you urged, glancing at the window behind him again. “Please? This can’t wait.”

“But I have an idea for the building design, and I need to draw it before I forget! What can possibly be so important?”

You sighed, turning your back towards him and crossing your arms. “Alright. I guess you don’t want your birthday surprise, huh?”

Three, two, one-

“…Birthday surprise?” Kaveh asked, his interest finally piqued.

You grinned. Got him.

“Why didn’t you say that earlier? Let’s go, then,” Kaveh said, rushing to your side with a childish smile plastered across his face. Clearly, you hadn’t actually prepared a surprise for him in the span of twenty minutes — it was more of a last minute idea that you hoped would be good enough that he wouldn’t question the effort behind it. But he didn’t need to know that.

You had led him out of the campus, and you had persuaded him to close his eyes as you led him to the “surprise”. You insisted that it would be more fun that way, but really, it was just an excuse for you to hold his hand and lead him to your destination. Again, he didn’t need to know that.

“Alright. You can open your eyes now.”

As Kaveh opened his eyes, you watched his face intently to see the sort of reaction that you’d get from him. First, his eyes darted over the row of sunflowers in front of him. You followed his gaze, turning your attention to the flower garden. Tiny droplets of water were clinging onto the petals of the flowers, dripping to the ground as the flowers swayed along the light afternoon breeze. You turned to Kaveh again, who was now smiling at something afar. You knew that he was admiring the sunset — the way the orange huges in the sky blended with the gray specks of clouds above and the green underneath.

Finally, he turned to you. Oddly enough, as someone who appreciates aesthetic and beauty, his expression wasn’t the happiest when he was looking at the sunflowers, or even the sunsets. It was when he looked at you — the corner of his eyes turning upwards as he gave you a soft smile. “Thank you for bringing me here. I never realized how beautiful the view is from here.”

“Yeah, no problem,” you said, trying to ignore how gorgeous he looked under the light of the sunset. Why did he have to be so bright? “This is my favorite spot on campus, actually. I come here pretty often.”

“Really? I’m glad you showed me this place then. We can come here together starting from tomorrow.”

Despite his seemingly content state, you couldn’t help but feel bad for the lack of effort you put behind this “surprise”. He must’ve tagged along with you hoping for an extravagant surprise party of some sort that you had spent the entire day planning — why else would you only wish him happy birthday once the sun had begun to set? That’s why, the least you could do was provide some sort of meaning behind this place. “You wanna know the real reason why I brought you here? It’s because the sunflowers and the sunset… remind me of you.”

“…how so?”

“They just do,” you said, looking away from him in embarrassment. This time, you were telling the truth. This was your favorite spot on campus, and the view did remind you of Kaveh each time you came here during the sunset, as much as you’d try to deny it.

Kaveh didn’t seem to be satisfied by your answer. “Is there any chance that you could, I don’t know, be a bit more specific?”

“Nope.”

“Y/N! Honestly, how hard can it possibly be to explain what you meant? If you can’t say it out loud, do you need a piece of paper to write it down?”

Your ears reddened, and you turned towards Kaveh to yell at him again before seeing how he was digging into his backpack with full focus — seemingly looking for something. Judging from the way his voice rose, you had thought that he was making fun of you. But looking at him now, furiously searching for something in his bag, you realized that he was being serious. This idiot was seriously trying to find a piece of paper for you to write down your thoughts and explain it to him. He really did want to know what you meant.

Sighing, you grabbed his arm to get his attention and stop him from aimlessly digging into his bag. “The sunflowers remind me of the color of your hair. Whenever you smile, you kind of remind me of a flower too. And the sunset… it reminds me of your eyes. When I look into your eyes long enough, I think it resembles a sunset like this one. They have the same colors as a sunset.”

You explained it to him in one breath and while looking down at the grass, wanting to get it over with. When you looked up to see his reaction, his cheeks now resembled the hues of the sunset more than his eyes. His lips were pressed into a thin line, as if he was struggling to restrain himself from breaking into a wide smile, and his eyes were so wide that it nearly stretched into a circle. How he could possibly still look so gorgeous despite his silly expression was something that you could never grasp. You’d look silly if you tried to look gorgeous, while Kaveh would look gorgeous when was looking silly. An important distinction between the two of you.

Kaveh parted his lips, and you thought that he was about to thank you profusely.

“You’re insane.”

You blinked once, wondering if you had heard him right. “Huh?”

“You’re insane,” Kaveh repeated.

You did hear him right, apparently.

“I…” Kaveh took a deep breath before continuing, “have received lots of compliments from many people.”

“Yes, Kaveh. I know that,” you said, trying to figure out why he thought it was a good time to bring up the obvious.

“But no compliment has ever made my heart race like this.”

You weren’t sure how to react to Kaveh complimenting your compliment, so you simply smiled at him. Then, you realized that your hand was still grasping his arm and you hastily let go. But then, you thought : “oh no, was that too abrupt? Was that rude?”, so you decided to pat him in the back to reassure him that you were not averse to touching him — and realized too late that there was no reason to pat his back, which made it a rather awkward gesture. For God’s sake, where did your brain cells disappear to?

Kaveh seemed to catch your nervousness, and he could no longer contain his laughter. He clutched his stomach and snorted, eyes shutting close into a crescent shape. “What- what are you doing?”

“I don’t know,” you answered honestly, wanting to slap yourself.

“I’ve never seen you this nervous before, you know?”

“I’ve never seen me this nervous either,” you muttered under your breath, turning away from him again.

For a few seconds, Kaveh was silent before changing the topic. He must’ve sensed your discomfort. “If I’m the sunset, then you’re the moon.”

“The… moon? Now you’re just making things up.”

“No, I’m serious!” Kaveh insisted, leaping in front of you to be in your plane of vision. “Not many people appreciate the moon’s beauty. At night, they’d rather stay in their houses, where it’s brighter. But there are some people who’d rather stay outside, where it’s darker, just so they can appreciate the moon's beauty. I think you’re like the moon. You may think that people don’t appreciate you enough, but you don't know that there are people who’d stand in the darkness for hours just to be with you.”

For a few moments, you couldn’t say a word. You had thought that you were poetic enough when comparing his eyes to the sunset, but Kaveh’s words had immediately reduced your previous speech into a kindergartner’s meaningless rambles. “…architect my ass. You should become a poet.”

“I wasn’t trying to be poetic!” Kaveh protested with a tiny pout on his lips, folding his hands across his chest. “I was just telling the truth. I would make a terrible poet. And for the record, I am never going to compliment you like that again. Ever,” he added hastily.

“Mhm. Whatever you say.”

“Hey, I’m serious! You’ll never hear a compliment like that from me ever again, so you better cherish it while you can.”

“I will,” you said, a smile tugging at your lips. “One is enough, anyway. Thank you.”

“I should be the one thanking you. Thank you for going through all the trouble just to bring me here at the right time.”

You looked away from him, unable to handle the guilt of lying to him. Did he truly believe that you planned all this? In fact, you were surprised that he hadn’t caught up with your lie.

“I didn’t go through any trouble, really,” you murmured, preparing to be yelled at by the blond. “I didn’t even plan anything. I brought you here at the last minute because I forgot to get you an actual gift. Sorry… I’ll get you something tomorrow, I swear-“

Before you could finish your sentence, you were cut off by Kaveh suddenly taking both your hands in his. He leant down so that he was at the same level as you and looked into your eyes with a tender expression. “Hey, it’s alright. You don’t need to get me anything. This is enough. You made me really happy today, you know?”

“…I did?”

“You did,” Kaveh said so softly that it could’ve been mistaken as a whisper from the breeze. “This is the happiest I’ve been today. I’m happy because you held my hand. I’m happy because you said my smile reminds you of a flower. I’m happy because you compared me to the beautiful sunset. You don’t know how much that means to me.”

As he spoke, he leant closer and closer towards you — as if wanting to prove to you how he meant every single word that came out of his lips. You wanted to look away in an attempt to cool off the heat rising to your cheeks. You’ve always thought that his gaze was like sunlight — his beauty so blinding and difficult to stare at directly — yet you found yourself staring right into that sunlight, not caring about anything else. If he was sunlight, then you were the moon that would never turn away from it.

“I’m glad you’re happy,” you finally managed to whisper, before finding yourself leaning even closer towards him. You could no longer control yourself. You pressed your lips onto his cheek, one hand resting on his shoulder for support. Your lips lingered on his skin as long as you could, not wanting to let go of him, before you finally pulled away to catch a breath.

Kaveh was staring at you as if a second head had grown from your shoulder and introduced itself. “Y/N… just so you know… you just — you just kissed my cheek.”

You cleared your throat. “I’m aware of that.”

“…Is that part of your birthday surprise?”

“Yes,” you lied without a second thought. The way you could lie so easily to him was getting concerning, but then again, you’ve spent years hiding your blossoming feelings for him. You really should consider taking theater acting as a double major.

“Then,” Kaveh gulped before continuing, “what will you do on my next birthday?”

You blinked, not knowing what to answer. “I don’t normally plan birthday surprises for people whose birthday is literally a year away. Who do you take me for? I don’t even do homework until it’s the last day before the deadline.”

“Heh, you’re right. You procrastinate a lot. In that case, I have a suggestion for what you can do on my next birthday.” It was Kaveh’s turn to lean closer to you, until his lips were barely an inch away from your ear. You held your breath, waiting for him to say something — only for him to wordlessly pull away from you.

You stared at him, not believing what had just happened. “Huh? What were you gonna say? All that suspense and you said nothing? Dude. Hey!”

Kaveh had a hand clasped over his mouth, and although half of his face was covered, he couldn’t hide the red hue escaping from the margin of his thumb. “N-never mind.”

You grabbed his shoulders and shook him angrily, as if the answer would pop out from his mouth if you shook him violently enough. “You can’t do that! That’s not allowed! What were you going to say? Kaveh, I swear, I’m going to murder you-“

Panicking, Kaveh slapped both his hands over your cheeks and pulled your face closer. You hated how his sudden contact succeded in getting you to let go of him. “Next time, it should be on the lips!” he blurted out, practically fuming through the ears.

“…w-what?”

“…my project.”

“Huh?”

“I have to go to work on my project. Bye. Thank you.”

“But I really am nearly done this time!”

“Bullshit. You know what? Let me help you,” you suggested as you grabbed the pencil away from him for a second time and squinted at his drawing, thinking about how to fill up the blank space at your side of the paper.

“What? Don’t touch my work!” Reacting as if you had spilled blank ink all over his paper, Kaveh quickly retrieved his pencil with more force than you would’ve preferred. It seems like the man had learnt from his mistake as he held the pencil above his head so that you wouldn’t steal it from him again. Sighing, you leaned closer to him and reached towards it — but it was nothing besides a futile attempt. His arm, you discovered, was much longer than yours. As you gave up and diverted your gaze back to him instead, you realized that you were much closer to his face than before. Were you hallucinating, or did his face seem…flushed?

As quick as you noticed that, Kaveh awkwardly pushed your shoulder so that you were back to your own seat. “You can sit there if you want. But don’t touch my work, alright? I’m serious.”

“Yeah, yeah. Fine,” you pouted as you leant against his shoulder to get a better view of his drawing. The moment your shoulders touched, you couldn’t miss the way his entire body stiffened — even if it was just for a second — before he relaxed and let out a tired sigh.

Kaveh really needed rest, more than he would admit. There were dark shadows under both his eyes, and his blond hair was disheveled — a few strands covering his right eye. He didn’t seem to notice as he bent down to add a few details to the building that he was sketching. Out of concern that he couldn’t even see what he was doing, you reached out to tuck his hair behind his ear.

Or at least, you intended to. You had just touched his hair with the edge of your finger when Kaveh quite literally jumped from his seat and released his grip on his pencil, causing the pencil to roll off the desk and hit the ground. For a few moments, all that you could hear was the sound of the pencil rolling across the floor as Kaveh stared at you with his eyes wide and cheeks even redder than before.

“What- what was that?” He asked, about an octave higher than his usual voice.

“Your hair was covering your face! I was just trying to help. There’s no way you could even see with all that hair covering your eye,” you said defensively, worried that he might misunderstand your intentions. Your extremely rational intentions to help out a friend. It wasn’t because you wanted to touch his hair. Nope. Definitely not.

Kaveh blinked before his eyes darted to the ground, seemingly embarrassed that he was making a big deal out of nothing. “Oh- uh-“

To clear out any possibility of a misunderstanding, you quickly tucked his hair behind his ear and leaned away from him. “See? I just wanted to do that. Nothing more.”

“R-right,” Kaveh stammered, his gaze still fixed to the ground. “Of course. Well, thank you,” he cleared his throat before turning towards his work again. He did a quick scan on his table, a confused look on his face as he seemed to be looking for something. Knowing what he was looking for, you bent down to pick up his pencil from the ground and hand it to him. “Here. Oh man, it snapped… looks like you can’t work on your little project anymore.”

“What- hey! I have to finish this before tomorrow, you know! Art takes time! It takes patience and inspiration. You wouldn’t understand.”

“Wouldn’t I?” you raised an eyebrow at his accusation. “I'm an artist myself, you know?”

Before you knew it, Kaveh’s expression changed. Although his tired state couldn’t be erased, there seemed to be a newfound energy in his demeanor as his eyes widened and his lips broke into a huge grin. “You… are? Wait- why didn’t you tell me?”

“You never asked,” you shrugged.

“Oh. Well, I didn’t think that you were one! I thought that you were more of the academic type, like Alhaitham… Anyway, I better start asking you now, then. What type of art do you like? Do you like architecture too? Hmm… you don’t seem like the type. You never get excited like I do when you look at buildings. And you’re not particularly interested in what I do, so I suppose that’s not your field. What is it then? Is it painting? That would be so incredible, I’ve always admired painters! Or- or- what do you like?”

Seeing Kaveh’s excited rambles, you couldn’t help but smile as well. It wasn’t your fault that his smile was so contagious, was it? You felt a certain warmth from seeing him all happy like a little child instead of stressed over his work. He seemed to have forgotten all about his project, so you took this chance to distract him even more. “Well, I wouldn’t say that I’m a professional artist like you are, but I draw a lot.”

Hearing your response, Kaveh put a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “You don’t always have to make art a profession. Sometimes, even simply being interested in art is something that I admire. So that means, whenever I saw you engrossed in writing things in your book, you weren’t writing? You were drawing this whole time?”

You nodded, and Kaveh seemed to become even more excited — his eyes practically sparkling at this point. If you were in a romance comic, this was certainly the panel where you would find a sparkling background behind him. “That’s- whoa. What do you usually draw?”

“People.”

“What sort of people?”

“Pretty people.”

“Huh. So you must draw yourself a lot.”

“What? No, I’ve never drawn myself befo-“ you paused, only realizing the implication of his words. “Wait. …are you saying that I’m-“

Before you could finish, you felt your cheeks warm up. You immediately felt self conscious, aware of Kaveh’s hand still on your shoulder. Did he… did he really admit that he thought you were pretty? Maybe you were in a romance comic. After all, it made more sense that you had somehow been transported into a romance comic than Kaveh actually calling you pretty in real life. Someone as pretty as him complimenting you? Snap out of it, Y/N.

“Am I saying that you’re what? That you’re pretty?” Kaveh had to finish your sentence for you, causing you to blush even more furiously. “Well, yeah. Why are you so surprised? … did you not know that you’re pretty?”

“What?” The way that he was throwing out such a huge compliment so casually made your heart race ten times faster. “I- I’m not pretty! Literally nobody has ever said that I’m pretty, so I guess you must have pretty low standards-“

“HUH? FOR REAL?” Kaveh interrupted you, hands fluttering to cover his open mouth. “Nobody? I thought people say it to you all the time and that you were used to being called pretty, that’s why I said it! I- wait, so I’m the first person to call you pretty? Shit. Pretend I never said that. Not that I don’t think that you’re pretty, I do think that you’re pretty, but-”

Even though you were the one at the receiving end of the compliment, Kaveh seemed to be the more flustered one, as you could see his ears practically growing redder every second. As a desperate attempt to change the topic, he cleared his throat and asked, “So. You draw pretty people. That’s an incredibly vague answer, because isn’t everyone pretty in their own ways? Maybe what you’re saying is that… you draw people who you find pretty. So? Is there anyone in particular who you enjoy drawing?”

You. You, Kaveh.

But clearly, that answer stayed trapped in your own head.

“…maybe.”

Kaveh lit up upon hearing your answer. He leaned closer, a smile tugging at his lips. “Oh? This person must be very special to you, then.”

“He is.”

“He? Looks like someone’s in love~” if Kaveh had seemed flustered earlier, all traces of it had vanished as he leaned forward to tease you. With the crinkles at the edge of his eyes and his soft smile, it was obvious how much he was enjoying himself, and that made you want to slap his lips with your fists. Or… with something else. It was up to debate. No, Y/N. Get professional help.

Settling for the closest alternative, you flicked his forehead while praying that he wouldn’t tease you even further. He didn’t need to find out that you were in love. With him. Much to your relief, Kaveh didn’t ask about the identity of the secret person you were drawing. “Well, I think you should show it to him. Your drawings of that special someone, I mean.”

“Why? Won’t that be embarrassing?”

“What? No! There’s nothing embarrassing about it. If anything, that person should be flattered that they’re the inspiration for your drawings. They should appreciate your drawings. They should appreciate…you,” Kaveh paused to look into your eyes to indicate that he was serious with his words. “If they can’t appreciate you and your drawings, then you should really stop drawing them. Because they don’t deserve your affections.”

For a few moments, you were left speechless, not expecting his kind words. A part of you wanted to tell him right there and then that he was the one that you’ve been drawing, but another part of you was scared of what he’d say. After all, he was someone who cared too much about other people’s feelings. There was a chance that he didn’t truly mean what he said, and that he was only trying to make you feel better about yourself. So instead, you asked him a question that you hoped he would answer truthfully.

“Then, how would you feel if you found out that someone had been drawing you in secret?”

Kaveh paused, seeming to be caught off guard by your question. “Well- like I said earlier. I’d be flattered. And I’d appreciate the efforts of whoever did that. Although, I really don’t think anyone would do that for me. I’m not much of a muse, am I?”

“…How would you feel if you found out that I had been drawing you in secret?”

For the second time, the pencil in Kaveh’s hand dropped to the ground. You watched him as he opened his mouth and then closed it again, his cheeks turning pink as he began to stammer. “You? Well. I- I suppose I’d- well, why do you ask? …have you actually been doing that?”

“I never said that! It was a hypothetical question. Hypothetical. Entirely hypothetical,”

“Hypothetical, right. Right,” Kaveh’s eyes darted to the ceiling, and then to the wall beside you, then to the ground. “Wait. You said you only draw people you find pretty. So, hypothetically, if you drew me, that means…”

“Oh, shut up,” you mumbled, looking away. “No need to pretend to be surprised. It’s not like you don’t know that you’re pretty.”

“Huh? So do you, or do you not draw me?” Kaveh grabbed you by the shoulders, forcing you to face him again. You were just about to deny it when you caught the look in his eyes. It nearly seemed… hopeful. Like he was expecting you to say something, and that he would actually break down into tears if you gave him an answer that disappointed him. And so, you couldn’t deny him.

“…maybe. Maybe I do, Kaveh.”

Kaveh’s eyes widened, and his grip on your shoulders loosened. He quickly pulled away and leaned forward to hold both of your hands instead. “Y/N… if you do have drawings of me, can I see them? Please?”

“You’ll make fun of me. Why should I?”

“What? No! I’d never make fun of you! Like I said, I would appreciate you. And… I’d be really happy that it’s you.”

You paused for a few moments, before pulling away from his touch and reaching into your bag to pull out your sketchbook. “If you make fun of me, your rights to speak and look at me will be revoked.”

“Deal. Now can I please look at them?”

“One. You can look at one drawing.”

“Alright, I’ll take that,” Kaveh sighed, but not without his smile. “Thank you, Y/N.”

“Sure,” you murmured, while flipping through the pages of your sketchbook and showing him a drawing that you were particularly proud of.

The second Kaveh caught sight of your drawing, he immediately looked away, covering his face with his hand. His other hand which was holding your sketchbook was shaking, barely able to hold it. After a few seconds, his gaze returned to the sketchbook and he stared at it with such an unreadable expression that for a second, you were worried he didn’t like it.

“You- why did you- why did you draw me like that?”

You couldn’t help but smile at his flustered reaction. It was only then that you realized that Kaveh was right about appreciating drawings. In a snapped picture taken by a camera, you could only see someone for what they are — with no features exaggerated or hidden. But in art, you could show someone how you see them. The way you see someone will be reflected into your art as you draw them, as if there were a mirror reflecting your image of them onto the paper. In art, you could highlight the features you love most about them and even add elements that nobody else would see except for you. After all, when multiple people draw the same person, no two artists could come up with the exact same result.

In your sketchbook, you had drawn Kaveh looking down with a smile on his lips. Even in a colorless sketch, you managed to capture the slight blush on his cheeks and the contrasting colors of his hair. His eyes were drawn larger than usual, but it suited him. It only gave you the opportunity to draw tiny sparkles in his eyes, making them seem even prettier than in real life — something that you thought was impossible.

“Why did you draw me like this?” Kaveh repeated, not being able to look you in the eye as he stared at your drawing. “Am I blushing here? Did you just decide to draw me blushing for no particular reason? Or… was I really blushing because you were looking at me as you drew?”

“H-huh? Well, I was looking at you-”

“Oh? Then did you like what you see?” Your flustered state somehow boosted Kaveh’s confidence as he leaned in towards you with a cheeky grin plastered across his face, eager to hear your answer. Was he really teasing you?

“You bastard- If I didn’t, would I have drawn you in the first place?”

“Well- I suppose not. Oh,” Kaveh‘s face flushed at the realization of what you meant, and he quickly lifted up your sketchbook to cover the lower half of his face. You couldn’t help but laugh, reaching out to lower your sketchbook from his face.It was endearing — how he tried to tease you but then got flustered himself a second later. It made you want to say more things to make him even more embarrassed, but for now, you decided to spare him. “If you like the drawing so much, you can keep it.”

“Really?” Kaveh instantly lit up from your offer. “You’d let me keep it? But you must’ve spent so much time on it..”

“What? You don’t want it?”

“No, I do! Are you kidding me? Of course I do. Thank you, Y/N. You really are kind, you know that?”

“It’s nothing,” you mumbled as you carefully tore the page from your sketchbook and handed the paper to him. Normally, you’d be reluctant to give away your drawing to someone due to all the hard work that you had spent on it, but Kaveh was an exception. He wasn’t just anyone. Besides, you still had many other drawings of him — not that you’d ever tell him that.

“I’m going to hang this on my wall, I swear. And I’ll give you something in return!”

“You don’t have to-“ you paused when Kaveh eagerly flipped through his sketchbook and ripped a page from it, handing it to you while ignoring your protests. You were about to assure him that you didn’t need anything in return, until you saw what was on the paper.

It was… you.

Kaveh drew you.

Unlike your plain one, his drawing had a background of the buildings behind you, but you couldn’t help but notice that the buildings were drawn… messily. They were drawn with strokes that were too soft to be seen, they lacked details, and they were drawn with sloppy lines. Kaveh, renowned architect of Sumeru, drew buildings with sloppy lines. The very same Kaveh who would sit on the same spot for ten hours to make sure that his building designs would be worthy to call perfection.

It was as if he drew the buildings on a whim, hurriedly and with a lack of focus because he was frantic to move on and draw the person at the center of the sketchbook. You. In contrast to the buildings, you were drawn with bold and thick strokes — almost like Kaveh was worried that you wouldn’t be the focus of the drawing otherwise. You were drawn with so much more details than the buildings, every single strand of your hair and eyelashes defined by his strokes. Your smile was drawn much wider than you’re certain you’ve ever smiled, which made you wonder if that’s how Kaveh really saw you — as someone with a bright, contagious smile.

“Do you- do you like it?” Kaveh asked, voice close to a whisper as he seemed to be afraid of what your answer could possibly be.

“Like it?” You stared at his drawing with a mixture of awe and disbelief. “Are you kidding me? No, I love it. I love this. Wait, how come you never told me that you’ve drawn me? When did you draw this? I-“

“Well, why didn’t you tell me that you drew me?” Kaveh paused to glance at you as you tried to find the right words to reply, but failed miserably. “See? Exactly.”

Before you could say anything, Kaveh grabbed your wrist and brought it up to your face, forcing your hand to cover your own lips. Your eyes widened at his sudden odd gesture, unsure of what to do. What was he doing? You could’ve sworn that his cheeks were dusted red as he leaned towards you. “Don’t say anything,” he whispered. “I know that if you say something, I’ll chicken out. Again. So stay quiet for me, okay? Please.”

Hearing his plea, you could only stay frozen in your spot, breathlessly waiting for what he was going to do. It felt like your heart had stopped beating completely as Kaveh leant even closer and pressed his lips to the back of your hand in one swift motion. He lingered there for a few seconds, his eyes shut before he pulled away, his eyes immediately darting to the ground but still holding your wrist.

If you were to enter a competition of “Which is redder? Your face or Jueyun Chilli?”, then you would’ve come home dragging the biggest trophy you’ve ever received in your entire life. What was that? Did that count as an indirect kiss? He only kissed your hand, but your hand was on your lips, and if he really wanted to kiss just your hand, he would’ve done it without bringing it up to your lips—

“Before you say anything, I have two things to say,” Kaveh managed to say, still unable to meet your eyes. “One, I truly appreciate your courage to show me that drawing. I could never be as brave as you, really. That drawing of you would’ve never seen the daylight if you had never shown me yours first.”