Illyrian Warrior🖤🦇

Alive (angst)

Circle. (fluff)

I fell for you. (Angst) ,

Part 2 (x Eris) ,

Final part (a bit angst, fluff)

Scary mate (mostly fluff)

Trapped mate. (angst)

Failed proposal. (angst, fluff),

Successful wedding (part 2)

Oops (fluff)

Peregryn. (fluff)

Meant to be together. (angst, fluff)

Missed you. (angst, fluff)

Idiot. (angst, fluff)

Forever (angst, fluff)

My mate (angst, fluff)

Scattered vows (angst),

Part 2 (angst)

I've got you (fluff)

Winter solstice (dad!Azriel, fluff)

Honeymoon phase (fluff, suggestive)

Untouchable. (angst)

Dirty mouth (suggestive, fluff)

Rhysand x f!Reader

Game night disaster (angst, fluff)

Part 2 (fluff)

Between you and danger. (angst, fluff)

Sick (fluff)

Panic. (fluff)

Baby. (fluff)

Together. (angst)

What would I do without you? (fluff)

Lucky. (fluff)

Hold me. (angst, fluff)

Safe. (angst, fluff)

Insecurities. (a bit of angst, fluff. dad!Rhysand)

Let me take care of you. (mostly fluff)

High Lady (mostly angst, a bit fluff)

Touch starved (fluff)

Cassian x f!Reader

Live without you (angst, fluff)

Perfect mate (fluff)

Wings. (dad!Cassian, fluff)

Forever yours (angst, fluff)

Not alone (angst, fluff) Warning; depression.

Finally (fluff, dad!Cassian)

My girls (dad!Cassian, angst, fluff)

Brat tamer. (SMUT 18+, angst)

Survival (a bit angst, mostly fluff)

Overprotective daddy (fluff, dad!Cassian)

Always. (angst, mostly fluff)

Forgotten. (angst, fluff at the end)

Horror (angst, wing clipping)

Eris x f!Reader

Everything is going to be okay (angst, fluff)

Sucker for a brat. (a bit angst, SMUT (18+) towards the end)

Part 2 (SMUT 18+)

Fake love. (angst)

Helion x f!Reader

Desire. (Angst, fluff)

Inner circle x f!Reader

De-aging potion (mostly fluff. Mate; Azriel)

Family (mostly fluff. Rhysand's daughter!Reader)

Crescent City

Micah x f!Reader

The Archangel (haven't decided yet probably angst)

Series Masterlist;

Shadows and tears (angst). Completed. [Azriel x f!Reader]

Princess. (angst). Ongoing [Azriel x f!Reader]

If you like my work send your requests. It will be my pleasure to deliver your fantasies with a touch of my own. Bat boys requests are welcome! 🖤🦇

Rhysand stood behind his office, his hands combing his hair, his body tense and his eyes red holding back tears.

“What happened?” Cassian asked as he walked in with Azriel behind. Both illyrians froze as they saw the state of their high lord. Azriel’s hands started shaking at the thought of someone of their friends being hurt or even worse dead. On the other hand Cassian couldn’t even think of something so awful, he just stared at his high lord and waited patiently for an explanation.

Rhysand sighed and tried to compose himself but his shaky voice gave him away “no matter what I do, no matter how hard i try they don’t respect me they don’t fear me enough to change their hideous customs” he shouted and he hit his desk.

Cassian’s breath hitched “Are they still clipping the wings of the females?”

Rhysand didn’t respond he just looked away and that was all his brothers needed, they both stormed off without a word and in a blink of an eye they were two black dots in the sky. Rhysand followed them after a few minutes, after he was able to stop the tears that were threatening to appear.

It didn’t take long for them to arrive, matter of fact they arrived in record time, the thought of the pain those females felt gave them strength and they flapped their wings so hard that they knew they would be sore for the next days. But no they didn’t care, they knew the process, they could still hear the screams and taste the blood… they had seen it happen so many times when they were young and unfortunately it was imprinted into their minds.

They landed next to the war camp, Azriel’s shadows shielding them from the eyes of the warriors who didn’t seem to notice the weird black “smoke” landing just a few feet next to them. It took everything for Cassian not to snort in disappointment, this army is supposed to protect them and they don’t even notice an intruder?

One shadow reached Azriel’s ear and the shadowsinger immediately turned to look at a tent, his eyes focusing there, he didn’t blink he kept staring, his ears perked and he let a low growl. Cassian followed his gaze and focused on the tent too, his eyes hardened when he smelled the blood, he swore he could taste it just like he used to when he was a kid. Rhysand had noticed too and his hands started shaking.

They started walking towards the tent. They saw multiple females walking around the camps, no wings in sight, their movements stiff and their faces in a permanent expressions of pain. They were all sure that if the females removed their clothes they would see bandages around them to keep the fresh wounds from getting infected. Azriel released a shaky breath and let all the rage consume his body, his power started humming around the camp making some warriors look around confused. His siphon started cracking and Cassian placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t” Cassian said “You need to stay calm or you’ll scare them” he continued and pointed with his eyes at the poor females who had already felt the deadly power and were rushing to their tents.

Azriel took a deep breath, pushing away the guilt that was starting to creep in his mind.

They reached the tent his shadow told him about and they held their breaths, the smell of blood so thick and strong that it made them nauseous which was weird since they’ve been into battlefields that smelled worse, they’ve been out there for days during which the old corpses started to rot and added a new smell to the new bloody ones.

Cassian took a step into the tent and immediately began trembling. There she was, a beautiful female hanging from her hands by thick chains connected to the pillar that kept the ceiling steady. Her head had dropped and her hair covered her face, she was standing on her toes since she was tied way too high to be able to put her whole feet down. A puddle of blood had formed beneath her and it still kept dripping, one small droplet at a time. Azriel gagged at the sight, Rhysand looked away and Cassian gulped.

“I will fucking destroy them” Rhysand growled and exited the tent. The night sky seemed to get darker and the earth trembled under his power. The two illyrians could hear people gasping at the sight of their high lord and the chilling feeling of his raw power. That seemed to wake the abused female in front of them, she lifted her head and her eyes locked on Cassian’s, she stared like she could see his soul, her eyes leaving his only to examine the rest of his face and his wings… his wings, the view seemed to remind her what was happening and she immediately turned and tried to look behind her back.

“No no no….. please no….. my wings… not my wings” she started sobbing.

Cassian was next to her in a blink of an eye “hey it’s okay, you’re alive that’s what matters, I know it hurts but you survived” he grabbed her face by the chin and turned her head to him. “We will get you out of here”

She shook her head “no leave me to die please, I can’t live without my wings don’t do this to me”

Cassian heard Azriel’s sob before he rushed out of the tent and the screaming intensified just like it did every time the shadowsinger decided to show his rage.

“Please don’t say that” Cassian told her “you can survive, I will help you” he started to stroke her dirty hair while she searched his eyes desperately trying to figure out if he is lying or not.

———————————-

Your eyes burned, the tears threatened to spill with any sudden movement so you remained still and tried to stop your mind from wandering back to that day. It’s been a month since they found you and took you back to Velaris so Madja could heal you. They burned down the camp and moved the other females to other camps who respected them but you were in such a bad state that they couldn’t risk leaving you there. The wounds on your back where your wings were connected were healed but it still hurt when something touched them or when you moved a certain way. The worst of all though was that you still couldn’t walk, without your wings you couldn’t balance and even though Cassian came to your room every day and held you as you tried to take a step you hadn’t managed more than one step, every time he would encourage you and make you believe that you can do it until you would fall face first on his chest and start crying. You knew that it broke him too, you saw it in his eyes but he never said anything he would just lay you on the bed and stroke your hair until you stopped crying. You couldn’t understand why it pained him so much, why he cared so much but it didn’t matter because he made you feel safe, he made you feel like you are worthy and not just a breeding machine.

One month that’s how long it has been since you lost the ability to fly and walk, since you left this room and even though the thought was breaking your heart you also felt a bit more relaxed. You grew up in fear of having your wings clipped so you spent most of your childhood and teenage years flying as much as you could just to be sure that you would never forget the feeling and now…. Now at least it happened so you just had to deal with it instead of losing sleep because of the fear. Now it’s done and you won’t become a breeding machine, you will be free, you know you will you just have to learn to walk again.

The door of your bedroom opened and Cassian walked in his wings rustling not being able to hide his excitement and you couldn’t help but smile.

“What did you do?” You asked with a playful expression.

“Well I thought that since you need some time to be able to walk again it’s not fair to keep you in this room. I mean you can take as much time as you need but it doesn’t mean you should put your whole life into hold until then” He explained and you could see that he was stressed, not sure if you would like what he did. You sat with your back on the beds headboard and winced when the wood pressed the wounds.

Cassian’s smile disappeared for a moment before he walked outside and returned rolling a chair that belonged in the dining room. You examined the chair, he had nailed two cushions onto it, leaving a gap right in the middle—exactly where your wounds were. Your eyes drifted lower, to the wheels he had attached to its legs, large enough for you to push them and move the chair.

Cassian’s eyes never left your face, he kept shifting from one leg to the other.

“So will you take me for a spin?” You asked and he immediately smiled before muttering a quick “of course” and pushing the chair next to your bed. With his help you moved from the bed to the chair and he pushed you out of the room. After he showed you the house he took you to the dining room where Azriel, Rhysand and Mor were sitting around the big table.

“There she is” Rhysand smiled.

“Hello everyone nice to see you somewhere else and not in that boring room” you replied and they all smiled, even the shadowsinger who always seemed to be frowning.

Cassian placed your chair next to Mor’s and took a seat right next to you, it didn’t take long for the conversation to begin and after a while it felt refreshing to speak about other matters and not your situation. You watched Cassian fill your plate with every type of food that was on the table before he did the same for himself, removing your gaze from him only to show Mor that you are listening what she is saying. The warlord’s action didn’t go unnoticed by the shadowsinger who was very curious why the brute was being so nice and helpful to you for the past month, he watched as Cassian made sure you were close enough to the table so you could eat and that everything you might need is within reaching distance and his eyes almost jumped out of their sockets when he realized.

“You must be kidding me” Azriel shouted and his eyes moved from Cassian to you and then Cassian again. The warlord lifted his gaze to his friend and started shaking his head but it was too late for Azriel to understand as he continued excitedly “she is your mate” .

If looks could kill the shadowsinger would be dead by the way Cassian looked at him.

Your eyes jumped between them, your mouth open as a breathy “what” fell from your lips.

But you didn’t feel anything, not even a small thread between you and Cassian and to be fair yes you had started falling for him the past days but that was because he treated you well, he was funny and thoughtful and 100% a gentle giant.

Rhys and Mor stopped eating and stared at the three of you.

“Oh” was all Azriel said before his shadows jumped to cover him.

Cassian looked at you the annoyance leaving his face “I was going to tell you when you got better…. You don’t owe me anything please don’t feel uncomfortable”

You furrowed your eyebrows “why would I feel uncomfortable?”

“Because I’m your mate and you might think that I expect something from you and I don’t want you to feel trapped here because you can’t walk. I wanted to tell you when you would feel better and you would be able to walk away…” he explained, his eyes leaving yours and wandering to his friends, his wings tensing -a clear sign that he felt uncomfortable doing this in front of them.

You moved your chair back and offered him a small smile “let’s go talk somewhere else”

His shoulders immediately relaxed and he jumped up grabbing your chair and pushing you back into your room.

“So how long have you known?” You asked when he closed the door. You knew that with their fae hearing his friends could hear you and if the stories were true they all were busybodies who would do anything to get the tea.

“The moment you looked at me when we found you…” he lowered his head. “I knew at that moment and I was ready to burn them all, I was ready to run out there and rip their own wings from their backs with my bare hands but then you started crying and pleading and I couldn’t leave you…. It broke my heart to see what they’ve done to you and I knew that this was something that would change you forever so I didn’t want to drop the bomb do you and confuse you even more..”

“It’s not fair” you whispered and looked away, desperately trying to hide your tears.

“I’m sorry” Cassian breathed.

“No you didn’t do anything…” you said “it’s not fair to you to not be able to fly around and have fun with your mate… it’s not fair to be with someone who will always be jealous of your wings…. It’s not fair to try and hide them every time you see me just like you do now. I can see you tucking them close to your body like they will become one with you and I know that you do it for me…”

Cassian’s let out a shaky breath and kneeled in front of you, his hand reaching yours and holding it tight. “I don’t care if you have wings or not.. I don’t mind carrying you around and feeling your body on mine and I don’t mind hiding my wings if it makes you feel better. Please don’t say that, I’m not that kind of male. I don’t even care if you won’t be able to walk again, it’s okay I will strap you on me and take you anywhere you want to go..” he was crying now.

You looked at him and moved your other hand to stroke his face. “I need some time to think please…” you said and he nodded. He left the room closing the door behind and then you felt it too, a thread connecting you to him, a thread so strong that you thought it would drag you and your chair behind him. Your heart broke for him, the warlord of the night court, one of the most feared males in Prythian stuck with a crippled mate. Cauldron is wicked.

Cassian disappeared for a while but he made sure you were okay through Mor. She would come to your room every morning, move you around on your chair and help you walk. Day after day you managed more steps and at some point she just stood next to you in case she needed to catch you if you fell. You still used your chair because walking exhausted you easily but it was progress.

A few days later you didn’t wait for Mor, you got up and walked to the dining room. You decided that it was time to get back the life those brutes took away from you. Enough with the insecurities and the mourning, you could make it without your wings. Your mother raised you as a strong independent woman, she raised you as everything that she wasn’t because unfortunately she had the same luck as you. She raised you to overcome the difficulties of this world because she knew what would happen to you and she knew she couldn’t stop it. Perhaps that was the reason she took her own life when your cycle begun. You got over her death so you surely could get over the death of your wings and you were lucky enough to have a mate who would remind you the feeling of flying again. So you gathered your courage and pushed the door open. The moment you entered the room everyone’s head whipped to your direction and a clinking sound filled the room -caused by Cassian who dropped his fork.

“Good morning” you smiled and took a seat next to Cassian. Everyone stared at you.

“What?” You asked “can’t a female enjoy her breakfast with her mate and his family?”

Crescent city, one of the most modern cities in Midgard a place that broke free from traditions and misogynistic ideas and that’s all the archangel’s doing. Micah. You had heard of him in history class and had seen him on your tv -an image you never forgot. His face lethally beautiful, his body huge and well taken care of and his power? You could feel it through the screen and let’s not forget those beautiful white wings. You spent most of your teenage years pinning after him and declaring to everyone that he is the only male you would ever accept to marry. You grew up though and you knew that a half-breed would never be able to gain his attention. You sighed as the train reached the crescent city station knowing that your twin -Bryce- would be waiting for you there. You had nothing in common except being half breeds and most of the time you couldn’t get along with each other, so when she decided to move out of the house you were more than happy and almost carried all of her things out of the house. Now though that Danika died and Bryce became even more distant your mother decided that you should move in with her. You knew you couldn’t say no just like you knew that the only reason your mother sent you was to keep tabs on her but you didn’t care, it was time for you to live your life and even though you didn’t like Bryce most of the time you couldn’t leave her alone to suffer. The train came to a stop and you noticed Bryce leaning back on the wall with her hands crossed in front of her. Her usually shining eyes were dull now and she had lost weight, the lack of happiness eminent on her face making your heart ache. You grabbed your bags and got off the train, when she saw you she smiled but it didn’t reach her eyes. 

“Hiii sissy” you shouted playfully and hugged her. She rolled her eyes but hugged you back, her shoulders dropping in relief. 

“I swear mom finds new ways to torture me everyday” she muttered and earned a punch on her shoulder when she released you from the hug. 

You shook your head “I can leave if you want” you said and pointed above your shoulder at the train with your thumb. 

Bryce chuckled “please don’t I’m in no mood to listen to our mother and I’m pretty sure she will move here herself if I kick out her spy” 

Once again you shook your head “you know that I’m not her spy, no matter how many times we fought I never told her your secrets” 

Bryce sighed “I know… that’s why I said yes to mom when she told me she will send you here” 

You used the time it took you to walk to her apartment to catch up and the moment she opened the door and you walked in and greeted Syrinx she dropped the bomb.

“Micah ordered me to help find Danika’s murderer. Me and the Umbra Mortis…” 

Your jaw dropped and you stared at her. She walked closer and pushed your jaw back at its place with her fingers. 

“You….what…..when…h-how? What?” Was all you could say. 

“Do I need to call a medwitch?” She lifted her brow. 

“Yes please” you replied and took a seat on her couch. Just then something bumped on the window and Bryce rolled her eyes before pulling the curtains back and there he was -the Umbra Mortis- using his wings lazily just to float outside. 

“We are okay alphahole I just need a few moments alone with my fucking sister” Bryce yelled and closed the curtains. Your eyes almost fell out of their sockets with the way she spoke to him.

“You’re joking….” you said and closed your eyes.

———————————

You don’t know how you managed to sleep that night but you did, even though you spent one or two hours in your bed thinking about everything Bryce told you and then she had the nerve to ask if you wanted to help them like she didn’t already know the answer. Hel yeah. 

Your door swung open and Bryce walked in holding two cups of coffee.

“Rise and shine, bitch! We have to meet His Majesty, the Alphahole of Alphaholes, to update him on our research.”

She rolled her eyes and handed you one of the cups.

You couldn’t stop the color from rising to your cheeks, or the smile creeping across your face.

Bryce burst out laughing. “Please don’t tell me you’re still in love with him!”

You quickly shushed her and looked outside praying to the gods, all of them that the Umbra Mortis didn’t hear her. 

Bryce continued laughing “oh my- it’s true” she said and continued “you know that there is no way he would ever give you attention I mean yeah you are beautiful and he would probably try to fuck you but nothing more” 

You knew that but hearing it didn’t make it hurt any less “I know that Bryce no need to remind me” you said and got up. “Now if you excuse me I have to make myself look fuckable so bye” you pointed to the door and raised your eyebrows. Bryce continued laughing as she walked outside but it was completely cut when she muttered “I wish Danika was here to hear this”.

They both used to make fun of you for your obsession with the Archangel and it intensified when you started writing letters to him, you never sent them of course and didn’t even have the intention of sending them but they didn’t know that and in order to prank you they used to take them and claim they knew nothing when you demanded them back. 

You took a long bath and wore a black skirt with a white shirt and knee high boots. When you were done with your make up you stared at your reflection. Fuckable. You smiled. 

You walked out of your room and Bryce whistled “well I don’t know about Micah but I know most males would like to take you for a ride” she said and you bowed mockingly. 

The Comitium was exactly as you remembered it from the screens—marble and glass, a cathedral of power. Bryce marched ahead, chin high feigning indifference but you knew she was stressed, you could see the way her fingers trembled no matter how hard she tried to hide them by making fists. You tried to keep up, your heart thrumming in your throat. You’d seen him before, yes. On interviews, broadcasts, ceremonies. But never like this and your sister’s reaction wasn’t helping at all. The Umbra Mortis was walking beside her, his wings rustled and you interpreted it as a sign of stress too. They stopped in front of the doors of what seemed to be an office -his office you thought and straightened your back. With a deep breath you tried to shake the tension away and waited. Hunt knocked and a deep, cold but silky voice said “You may enter”. You knew that voice you had heard it a million times you had even recorded it on the tv and kept listening to it when your parents weren’t home. 

Hunt pushed the doors open, a ripple of unseen power brushing across your skin. And there he was—Micah. The Archangel. The fantasy that had haunted your teenage years now made flesh. He was behind his desk his head bent over a folder. His wings—those perfect white wings—caught the light like snow in moonlight.

“Micah” the Shadow of death spoke. 

He looked up then, and when his eyes found yours, you forgot how to breathe. He wasn’t just beautiful — he was alive in a way no one had the right to be. Every movement was deliberate, lethal grace wrapped in the pretense of divinity.

“You didn’t tell me your sister was this lovely,” Micah said, voice smooth as velvet and just as dangerous.

Bryce rolled her eyes. “She bites.”

His mouth curved faintly. “So do I.”

The air felt thinner. You knew it was power—his power—but it felt like gravity bending toward him. You tried to speak, but your voice betrayed you. You’d seen that face a thousand times on screens — but never like this. Never when his power touched the edges of your soul and whispered mine before your mind could catch up.

“Governor,” you managed.

He smirked and your knees almost gave up. It took everything in you to not faint. 

“Micah,” he corrected, gaze still locked on you. “I don’t require titles from those who already know my name.” 

That’s it you were going to faint and make a fool of yourself. No. You thought and gathered all your courage.

“Hello Micah” you smiled and kept the eye contact making the archangel lift a brow and lie back on his chair, amusement flashing in his eyes for a second before he looked at the Umbra Mortis. 

“I’m listening” he said.

Hunt explained what they had found about the horn and why they believe it’s connected and Micah watched him with a bored expression. “That’s all?” He asked when Hunt finished and you could swear you saw sweat running down the angels neck. “You’re fortunate your sister’s presence made this meeting tolerable Bryce” Micah said, eyes sliding back to the page. “I despise wasting time.”

It’s been two days since the disastrous game night and even though Lucien left Velaris to attend some urgent matters the tension was still thick in the air. You noticed how your mate kept his distance from Feyre and how she would stare at him longingly whenever they were in the same room. You couldn’t help but feel bad for her, Rhysand is a sight for sore eyes and his protective personality could bring comfort even to the coldest person in the world. Losing him even as a friend is a tremendous loss for anyone, especially someone who went through everything that Feyre did. You couldn’t imagine how she must have felt when she was thrown into the world of magic and then when she was used by everyone to save them. Thick ropes of guilt captured your heart and tightened around it making it hard to breathe. Were you an awful being for keeping her closest friend away from her? Should you accept the piercing jealousy every time you see them together just so Feyre can have a support system? Confused and annoyed you didn’t pay attention to where you were going until your face smacked into a wall -not a wall- a hard muscled back and not just any back but your mate’s.

“Sorry” you said when you managed to steady yourself and glanced at Rhysand’s worried eyes.

“Are you okay love?” He asked and in an instant his hands captured your face, and his undivided attention was on you.

“Yeah, I’m fine well at least I think so… I’m just a bit confused” you admitted and offered him a small smile.

Rhys nodded and grabbed your hand leading you into the room you shared whenever you stayed at the house of wind.

“Tell me what bothers you” he said softly.

“Feyre…” you replied and avoided his eyes.

“What did she do?” He growled clearly annoyed.

“Nothing I just feel like shit for keeping you away from her. After everything she’s been through it’s not fair to lose a friend like that” you admitted.

Rhysand cursed under his breath “I can’t believe how thoughtful you are after everything you went through”

“What I went through?” You scoffed and continued “Do you forget what you and Feyre went through under the mountain?”

“I would never forget but watching Feyre sitting on your mate and spending most of her time with him isn’t easy. We all know how strong the bond is and how much it can torture us. Cauldron you can die if your mate rejects you that’s how awful this bond can be” your mate explained, and you chewed on your lip.

You placed your hand on his upper arm and nodded. “The feelings I get when I watch you with Feyre can be unbearable indeed but that doesn’t mean you have to stop acknowledging her. Maybe if she keeps her hands to herself I will be okay”

Rhys sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’ll see what I can do” he said and hugged you.

“If you talk to her please do it privately there’s no need to humiliate her in front of everyone” you said softly.

 “We don’t deserve you” he muttered and placed a soft kiss on your head.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

The day went by pretty fast and as you were all hanging out in the living room Rhys asked Feyre to follow him into his office earning a confused yet hopeful look from her before she eagerly followed him. You noticed Mor glancing worriedly at you and gesturing with a tilt of her head to follow them. You nodded and both of you got up.

“We’ll be back” she informed everyone and grabbed your hand pulling you hurriedly.

“It’s okay, it was my idea to clear things out” you whispered but Mor was determined to find out what happens behind the closed door of your mate’s study.

You both stood outside the wooden door being as quiet as you can; not wanting to be caught. You noticed Azriel’s shadows creeping up on you before engulfing you hiding you in their darkness as a protective shield. You couldn’t help but smile sweetly at the way your friend showed you his support even though one of his shadows slipped into the room no doubt ready to report back to the busybody about the conversation it heard.

“Feyre, I need to make some things clear” Rhysand’s voice filled the silence and pulled you out of your thoughts. Mor eyes filled with amusement and satisfaction.

So much for not humiliating her in front of everyone you thought and wondered how many times your friends made it their mission to find out what you and your mate discussed privately. 

“What do you mean?” Feyre replied, her voice filled with anxiety.

“You know that I consider you one of us, one of my most trusted friends…” Rhys continued “but things are a bit different in our world. You know about our mating bonds, but I don’t think you understand what they really mean to us. Mating bonds are primal instincts, we feel possessive over our mates. We would give our lives for them without a second thought. Our mates become the most important beings in our lives.”

Silence.

“What I’m trying to say is that no matter how innocent your intentions are, you can’t hug me and touch me like that. Never. And especially in front of my mate. I won’t hurt her like that, not after disappearing for so many years under the mountain and trapping her here.”

“Isn’t it unfair though? You don’t get to choose your partner. Maybe someone else is better for you” Feyre said, and you felt your blood boiling.

“I don’t know” Rhysand replied and your eyes watered. “I suppose you are right. But this isn’t the case for me and y/n. She is everything I wanted, and I really can’t imagine my life without her. I would choose her even if she wasn’t my mate… Cauldron I would even leave my mate for her”

Happy tears streamed down your face, your heart was beating so fast. Mor was wiping her own tears while she smiled at you.

“I see…” Feyre replied “I will keep my distance then. I’m sorry I didn’t want to cause any trouble I just misunderstood some things.”

“Thank you” Rhys responded.

“Oof I really hope y/n doesn’t hate me. I never intended to hurt her” Feyre said, and you smiled.

Rhys chuckled “trust me when I say that she doesn’t hate you on the contrary I think you two would be great friends if you got to know each other better”

“Well then I won’t waste any time I think I’m going to ask her if she wants to join me for a stroll in the city tomorrow” Feyre chirped, and you heard their footsteps approaching the door.

You and Mor looked at each other, your eyes wide and sprinted off while Azriel’s shadows shot in every direction hiding. When you reached the living room Azriel winked at you and Mor giggled.

“What’s going on?” Cassian asked

“Nothing” you, Mor and Azriel said simultaneously.

“OH COME ON NO ONE TELLS ME ANYTHING IN THIS HOUSE” Cassian shouted and crossed his arms dramatically.

“What happened?” Your mate’s dark voice came from behind you.

Mor snorted “Cassian is acting like a baby again”

Feyre stared at you her eyes filled with guilt; she started fidgeting clearly uncomfortable so you offered her a kind smile.

“Can I speak with you privately?” She asked you the uncertainty colouring her voice.

“Yes of course” you replied and followed her out of the room, squeezing Rhysand’s hand as you passed him.

“I’m really sorry” she begun when you were sure that no one can hear you anymore.

“It’s okay…” you replied and smiled at her once again.

“No it’s not. To be honest yes I didn’t understand the mating bond that well but it’s still not an excuse for the way I acted. I was selfish, not realizing the pain I was causing you”

“Now you know” you said and continued “how you act from now on is the only thing that matters. Let’s have a fresh start with no hard feelings”

“I would love that” now it was her turn to smile.

When you returned you sat on your mate’s lap and hugged him.

“Thank you” you whispered and kissed his neck.

“Anything for you love” he breathed and tightened his arms around you.

If you want to be tagged in my future work please comment on this post to be added in the tag list!

Rhysand always enjoyed showing off, it didn’t matter where he was, he didn’t care about the occasion meaning that he would steal the spotlight even at someone’s wedding. So, when he found his mate, he wanted to show her off to the entire world. He also wanted to show everyone that she belonged to him. Imagine the shock when he realized that you don’t like to show your affection in public. He was devastated at first but after the first time you spent time in public for more than a few hours he realized how good it felt when you were alone, how more affectionate you became because you were touch starved. Like today… Nesta decided to celebrate her birthday at a tavern which was kind of odd, but everyone agreed since you wanted to make the day about her and only her. You were sitting next to Rhysand as you talked with Cassian and Mor. Your knee touching your mate’s under the table being the only action of love for the time being. Rhysand felt irritated and he could feel your desperation to touch him through the bond but being the stubborn female you were he knew that you wouldn’t budge. It had been more than 15 hours since the last time you two were alone and your body was literally shaking with need, your shy nature though dreaded the idea of touching your dashing mate.

“Y/n are you listening?” Cassian asked with a worried look.

Your eyes focused back on him, and you shook your head trying to put your thoughts in order. “Yeah… no… sorry I’m just tired” you sighed.

“Honey, you don’t look good maybe you should head home” Mor suggested softly and caressed your upper arm.

Rhys immediately turned to you with furrowed eyebrows “Are you okay love?”

“I think we should go home” you replied and glanced at Nesta who was having the time of her life with her sisters. “I think she will be okay”.

Rhys smiled and being the amazing mate that he is he stood up and grabbed your hand leading you outside while also saying quick goodbyes to his friends.

The moment you stepped into your shared house you sighed in delight and ran to your room to get changed.

“So are you really tired or you couldn’t resist me anymore?” Rhys smirked when he walked into the room making you wonder if he somehow planted the need in your head.

You changed into your nightgown and glanced at him. “Just tired” you shrugged and slipped in your bed.

Rhys stopped undressing and looked at you with a cocked eyebrow making you giggle.

“You’re such a bad liar” he gave you his feline smile and crawled on the bed.

“Come here” you opened your arms and legs for him to lie on top of you. When he made himself comfortable between your legs with his head resting on your chest you smiled and started caressing his hair with one hand and his bare back with the other.

He hummed and relaxed on top of you carefully though so he wouldn’t crush you.

After a while you lowered yourself and planted kisses on top of his head making him moan and tighten his arms around your middle. His scent clouded your senses, the scent of smoke and whiskey with just a small hint of something sweet made you inhale sharply while your hand trembled on top of his velvety skin.

“Feels so nice” he murmured, and you smiled.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Morning came and you woke up alone stretching over his side of the bed trying to find some of his familiar warmth. After a few minutes you huffed because it wasn’t enough and left the room in search for your mate. You tiptoed into his office where he was seated on his big chair, legs spread wide as he read a book.

“There you are” you said softly and approached him. He gave you a sweet smile and you took a seat on his lap.

“Hi” you murmured and rubbed your cheek on the base of his neck touching your cold nose on his warm and soft skin earning a chuckle from him.

“Missed me?” He asked and started caressing your hair with one hand while the other held the book.

“You know I can’t stay away from you” you smiled and wrapped your hands around his torso. “Wish I could stay here all day”

You felt his chest moving sharply as he let out a small laugh “then that’s what we’ll do” he replied and got comfortable.

That’s how you spent your day, on his lap prepping small kisses on his neck and chest while he read his book with a sweet smile on his face

“Are you sure he is ready to start going on missions again?” Feyre asked Rhys her brows furrowed in worry.

“I don’t know… it’s been a year and he is way better than I thought he would be. I didn’t think he would survive it.” Rhys responded and rubbed his jaw.

Feyre sighed and nodded  “I hope we aren’t wrong”

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

“Wow she did an excellent job” Eris gaped at your new face.

“I know” you exclaimed and stared at the foreign face who stared back at you in the mirror.

Eris straightened “Are you sure you want to do this? If you don’t want to its okay I can send someone else”

Were you sure? When Eris asked you to become a spy in the night court you thought that it was the most absurd request but after some more thought it made sense. You knew Velaris like the back of your hand, you grew up there. The guilt you felt when you accepted the offered mission was soon replaced with hatred. They betrayed you; they thought that Elain should replace you. Their tearful eyes when you and Azriel exchanged vows felt like snakes slithering your way now. How could they claim that they loved you when they were preparing your betrayal? How could they smile at you when they were covering your mate’s affair? I’m alone now. I always knew that Eris needed something from me when he so eagerly accepted me in his court and its only fair to give it to him now.

“I will do it. I have nothing to lose anymore” you stated, the words leaving a bitter taste in your mouth. Could you really do this? Look at the eyes of your family and then dig a knife in their backs? Look at the eyes of your mate while reporting back to the enemy? Could you watch him with Elain without breaking down?

The new appearance the witch of the Autumn court gave you brought you some comfort, they wouldn’t know that it is you the one who spies on them if they caught you.

When the sun set and the stars claimed the sky you gathered your things and left your new home.  

Velaris…. A sight for sore eyes. Your heart almost jumped out of your chest as you watched the busy streets of the city you once called your home.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Azriel laid the flowers over the beautiful stone he had made when he was able to think clearly again. Every morning he visited his mate’s grave. Every morning he brought her flowers. Every night he came back with more flowers. It gave him comfort; it felt like he said good morning and goodnight every day like he used to do when she was alive. No matter how far away he was, every morning he would tag the golden thread of the bond and he would smile when he would feel her tagging it back more fiercely. Every night he would do it again and the smile would come back when she would respond.

He grabbed his hair and pulled, his shadows rushing to calm him down. He wanted to scream, to tear himself apart. “Stop” he shouted to his shadows when they tried to slither between his scarred hands and his hair. How odd, a few months ago his shadows would only hiss at him and try to strangle him for what he did to their favorite creature and now they are trying to stop him from hurting himself.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

You tried to keep your breathing as quiet as you could when you reached the small cottage you and your mate created. The sight in front of you making your heart skip a beat. There he was, kneeling in front of a grave, your grave. His hands pulling his hair and his shoulders shaking with every sob. You couldn’t move. No if you moved his shadows would sense it and there goes your mission. You closed your eyes wanting to erase the heart wrecking scene in front of you. Why? Why is he mourning you?

After a few hours of crying he flew away. He is probably going back to the house of wind. Back in his bed with her…  You thought and entered the small cottage. Everything was exactly how you left it. Broken dishes and glasses from the days you spent breaking down on the kitchen floor. He obviously came here since the few things he left the day he broke your heart were gone now. Only your things were around except the dress you wore the day you exchanged your vows. That and your favorite sweatshirt well his sweatshirt that you stole and wore whenever he was away on a mission. Maybe he gave it to Elain. You thought and shook your head. You didn’t want to imagine anything else, like him keeping it because it smelled like you now, because that thought would make you fail your mission. You knew that the guilt would eat you up if you allowed yourself to forgive them. So you left the cottage and found shelter in an abandoned house you used to play hide and seek when you were younger with your friends.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

The next few days were pretty easy, Azriel was gone on missions so you could spy easily. Every morning you would winnow to the roof of the house of wind and afterwards you would hide in the shadows of the house. You watched everyone living their life without a mention of your name. You wanted to scoff every time they talked about Azriel like he was the one betrayed. You could barely control yourself every time you heard Elain worrying about him and cursing your name for leaving him. Like it was you fault that he chose her over you. You imagined how many times he held her while you waited back home with two dishes in front of you, picking up the pieces of your heart and trying to glue them back together.

You watched as the dining table filled with food and everyone took a seat. You stayed hidden and planned to leave when they finished their dinner so you could write back to Eris about the plans to enhance the security of Velaris. Familiar sound of beating wings filled the house and you felt your blood freezing. He is back.

Your eyes scanned the corridor trying to find a way to leave unnoticed before the shadows who hid you betrayed you to their master. Your hands started shaking and breathing became a struggle as he landed inside. A small shadow crawled up his body and when it reached his ear his eyes scanned the room quickly before landing on the darkness engulfing you. A bile rose to your throat, and you swallowed the acid down. In a blink his hand was around your neck, your feet leaving the ground as he carried you in the room by the neck like a filthy ragdoll.

“What is that?” Rhys growled and rose from his seat.

“I don’t know but I will find out soon enough” Azriel said, and you shivered, how you missed his voice.

In an instant the world became black.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

You blinked and suddenly you were in a cell. Rhys probably put you to sleep before they carried you here. You knew that cell very well, the cell used by the infamous shadowsinger of the night court. The cell where he broke every enemy and stripped them of their dignity. You heard his heavy footsteps and wondered for a moment if the disguise was a wise decision. He appeared in front of you, his eyes examining every detail of your face like it was familiar. Its me my love. You thought but Elain’s image in your mind made you clench your fists and scrunch your nose in disgust. The chains that kept you on the chair rattled with your heavy breathing and Azriel studied your whole body before he shook his head and grabbed truth teller. He came over you and your screams filled the silence as he begun working.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Drip, drip, drip

You stared as your blood made a puddle under your chair. One eye gone, broken ribs, broken fingers, broken hands and knees. A filthy, used, broken ragdoll but you never said a word, the ward around you never failed and Azriel was furious he couldn’t break you. You knew his patience was running thin, you knew what was coming, you knew him better than yourself. So when the door of the cell opened and he walked back inside with a feral look you smiled. It will be over soon.

“One last chance, tell me who sent you and I will let you go” he said through gritted teeth.

You kept your smile as you shook your head.

“Okay then” he said and punched you.

Broken nose you added to your mental list. He stared deep in your eyes as he grabbed a sword hanging from the wall next to him. A tear slipped from your eye as the sword entered your chest and exited through your back. You felt the wards failing and your face transforming back to your own. Azriel’s eyes widened, and he took a step back. More tears spilled and with a shaky breath you said “That’s a more fitting way to die than an arrow.”

Azriel’s body started shaking as your eye stared aimlessly at him and your chest stopped moving with your breathing.

“No this can’t be…. No no no” he screamed and grabbed your shoulders shaking you.  He ran outside and flew to the small cottage where he started digging. Nothing. Not even an empty coffin, nothing.

“No no no no” he kept repeating while hitting his head.

He flew back to the cell and was met with a tense Rhysand.

“Tell me this is some sick joke” Azriel whispered and the high lord shook his head as tears started streaming down his face.

“She was at the Autumn court. She asked Feyre to hide her and tell you she died.” Rhys admitted through a sob.

Azriel’s eyes narrowed.

“Leave” he shouted

“Az…”

“I said fucking leave” he screamed as his shadows rose like a wave and poured all over Velaris making the citizens stare at the sky in confusion.

He spent hours cuddling your cold broken body. Thinking every torture he made you endure, beating himself for not realizing it was you even though he felt something familiar when he touched you or studied your face.

Hatred. Anger. Rage. Betrayal.

That’s what he felt as he held you close and cried out loud. He knew that his cries could be heard all over Velaris. They betrayed him. They let him hurt you and then helped you run away. They lied to him. Feyre lied to him. If she hadn’t brought her sisters here you would be alive by his side. That’s what he had to do before he joined you. He had to burn their world.

He held you in his arms as he flew back to the cottage. He placed you on your bed and with a kiss on your forehead as a silent promise he left in a hurry. His eyes red and filled with tears, his hair disheveled and covered in your blood. Revenge written all over his face as he watched them all hanging out in Elain’s garden. Rhysand looking horrified as he watched Azriel descend from the sky. In an instant the shadowsinger was in the middle of them.

“Look what you made me become” he screamed “Its your fault” he pointed at Feyre.

The high lord stepped in front of her. Azriel shook his head. “This time none of you will be able to hurt me and my mate” he declared and shot to the sky while the house behind them burst into flames.

Azriel entered the cottage feeling a wave of relief and calmness. He lied next to you and closed his eyes before dropping a small candle he held in his hands on the ends of the curtains and as the flames licked the walls he kissed your cold and dry lips and smiled.

I'm back but after this I feel like you won't be happy with my return :') Credits to my best friend who helped me write it! She doesn't have a tumblr account to tag her though.