Itadakimasu ~

are they gone? okay. you are a knight and i am your childhood friend but the key point is we've been in love for years and years and years and every time you come back from a quest i'm there.

and every time, i wipe the blood from your face and bandage your wounds, and you catch my hand and press it harder over the cloth, and it hurts you but it feels good, too, because it's my hand that's doing it, and because of this quiet unspoken thing between us that will never be because of the oaths you've made to others.

and then one day an enemy of yours tracks me down and i am your one weakness, and you came back to the quiet village and i am not there, and the houses are burning, and you raze every inch of ground between us

but it's a trap (obviously it's a trap) and you are caught and i am there, and your enemy vows to destroy your world as you have destroyed his (and this is how i find out that you are not the good person i thought you were) (and how i find out that i don't care, i'll have you anyway, if we survive this thing)

and then while you are restrained your enemy hurts me just to see you scream, and i won't beg even though nothing has ever hurt this bad, and you are raging against your chains, with this look in your eye that's fear, not rage, because for all your vows i am the only thing you love.

and then you get free and you kill him and you toss his body aside like it doesn't even matter (because it doesn't, only i matter, i am the only thing in the world) and you undo my bindings with shaking hands and you say damn my oaths, i will slay a thousand kings if you ask it of me, and i smile finally with blood on my teeth and you kiss me

I was raised to think that if you're smart enough and pay attention you can avoid making mistakes. If you mess up, it's a character flaw and you should be ashamed of yourself. Berated. Punished.

This is a terrible mentality to live by. I cringe when I see my parents perpetuate this by harshly criticizing others for honest, everyday mistakes. Yeah, some things would be avoidable if you chose differently. But you in that moment were just a person and honestly, shit just happens. People lose their wallets. People scrape their tires on the curb. People forget to write down appointments and use leftovers. People knock their drinks over. People misunderstand or struggle to follow instructions.