🙃👽🖕💀♍

i step out onto stage clad in full corpse paint and death metal regalia and start playing the most middle-of-the-road soft rock you've heard since 1974

Lol just found McDonald's doordash on someone's doorstep #hunter #gatherer

That’s literally gathering not hunting or did your dumpy ass kill the burger yourself

I killed the dasher

alexander the great? what was he great at, kissing other men?

I mean yeah but also all the mass slaughter

holding my boob for emotional support

dracula is so funny rn mina and lucys letters are just like hiiii bestie loml sweetheart 😍😍😍💕 how are youuuuuu i love you soooo much 🥰 can't wait to see you again you're my favourite person everrrr did i hear you have a CRUSH 🤭🤭 btw sorry 4 slow replies 😅😅 i was busy thinking about my boyfriend 😍😍😍 JONATHAN 😍😍😍😍😍😍 and then the jonathan in question is just like Dear Diary Today I Experienced Horrors Beyond My Comprehension

he boot to big for he gottdam feet

earthbound encounter

this passes the bechdel test

i was gonna say “but they don’t have names!” but they do. the blonde’s name is dumb thotticus and the brunette’s name is m-seq

strong contender for post of the decade

that is the face of a man that says “If i don’t hold the baby he is going to do terrible shenanigans to the camera setup before the plates develop”

God I fucking love things made by people that are friends

Small projects made by people who clearly like each other and are having fun >>>>> almost any other type of media

Having zero emotional object permanence is so funny your therapist asks how your week was and you're just like "girl I have no idea"

i think the average work schedule should be one hour