aworldwithoutme

Excerpt:

We can't just move on from the fact that the writers chose to include Buck in this scene at all. We could have ended with Eddie on the couch high on endorphins, but we don't. In Eddie's search to allow himself joy, the writers decided that Buck had to be there.

With this in mind, it stands to reason that even when Buck himself isn't joyful nor contributing anything positive to the vibes, having Buck around is joyful for Eddie. Because his happiness is not contingent on what Buck can do FOR him, but rather that his mere existence is enough to make Eddie happy.

In the same vein though, when Buck's at his lowest, he goes to Eddie. Again, this is important, because we could have had scene with Buck all alone in the loft, maybe in the single sofa staring at the one Tommy had slept in before. He could have even gone to Maddie's since the episode established that when he needs to vent, he goes to her. Instead, he goes to Eddie's and Eddie doesn't have to speak, doesn't have to offer advice or platitude, doesn't even have to offer any active comfort like a hand on his shoulder. Because his own comfort is not contingent on what Eddie can do FOR him, but rather that Eddie's presence is enough. This makes me think of post-lighting, when Buck goes to Eddie when everyone, including his own sister, don't understand him enough to know he needs a moment of peace. So, even though he's still choosing to be in someone else's company, not alone, Eddie's company is different, it's relaxing, comforting, and welcomed.

Between the info-dumping, obscure banana-bee lore, outside the box problem solving on the spot thinking, general excitement of bugs(hyperfixation of some kind, if Buck's case, apparently bees), defiant to opposition, demand avoidance, being called insubordinate because he talks back/asks questions/wants to help, and his pout being brought up as a point of contention (in other words, allistic people inferring "attitude" via normal facial expressions to you) and just general crippling self-esteem issues because something is always wrong with what you say or do?

I feel SEEN and I might cry (I have audhd)

Don't be cowards, 911 writers! Make it fucking canon already!

Some people simply want clarifications, and some don't even realize what happened.

So, here's a breakdown.

First of all, what Buck thinks of this matter is irrelevant. He CANNOT consent to sex with her.

It is illegal and unethical to engage in sexual acts with a patient. Regardless of what the patient wants or thinks they want. It is up to the therapist not only to not engage in any sexual manner, but to stop the patient if they are engaging in a sexual manner.

She's a therapist and he's a patient. This IMMIDIETELY places her in a position of power. Not only over him, as a vulnerable patient, but also over his job as a department therapist as well. If he disagrees to have sex, nothing is stopping her from blackmailing him--from saying she'll just say he's unfit to return.

Not only is she his therapist but the sexual encounter is also happening while Buck is in her office attending an active session. She's not a woman he met at a cafe that just so happens to be a therapist. She's not a therapist who terminated sessions to properly date him, which is still questionable regardless. This isn't what is happening here.

Not only is she in a position of power, but her very career places her in a position of power over many people because she studied and certified in matters of the psyche. Who better to manipulate than a person that literally studied it, who is intimate with this knowledge. Furthermore, this is exemplified in the show. She doesn't just pounce on him when he enters her door. She starts the session as if it was any other, to learn about him, to know how best to proceed. See point 10 for more.

Buck is distraught in her session. He's crying, GRIEVING, his first ever loss. A death. He's feeling confused over the entire situation too, since Devon essentially chose to take this unfortunate situation to unalive himself. Buck saw, in real time, someone decide to die willingly. Someone he was tasked to save chose not to take his hand when Buck was right there. He's in no place to consent to sex while crying over this. What he needs is guidance and help to process this very traumatic situation. Not sex.

Buck tells her he believes he's a sex addict. We know he isn't. However, if he was, this means that a therapist, a certified therapist, chose to engage in sexual acts with a potential sex addict. She would have helped enable him to continue this addiction and relapse if he was trying to stop. This is simply not only unprofessional, but simply horrid, on top of everything else.

Dr. Wells knows who Buck is. The show tells us she sent him a friend request on social media after seeing him on the news. This is before the session, yes, but this is not an excuse. As a professional, she should have disclosed this information. Either ask him if he's comfortable seeing her even though she is familiar with him and has sent a friend request OR simply tell him what's going on and redirect him to a different department therapist.

The fact that she sent the friend request means that she was ALREADY interested in him beforehand. Not only that, but let's be realistic. It's clear she wanted sex from the start. Why else would she feel the need to send him a friend request when all she's seen of him is news coverage of a tragedy. The simplest answer is usually the right one. He's attractive and she's attracted. She should have put a stop to him being a patient if she already had her eye on him, but she didn't. She could have just as easily messaged him on social media and been forward about wanting sex with him, but she didn't. She wanted sex with him from the start and he fell into her lap when his name appeared on her patients' list.

Note that he does not approach her in the office. He does not ask her for sexual favors. He doesn't allude to anything sexual nor romantic in any way. He's taking this session seriously. Sharing his thoughts, feelings, crying. She's the one that leaves her chair to sit closer to him, place her hands on him, and move forward with her sexual advances. Him not resisting is not synonymous with enthusiastic consent.

She knows that what she did is wrong the moment she victimizes herself, says it shouldn't have happened, and for him to not say anything because she could lose her job. Something she knew before she engaged in this behavior. She uses her knowledge to manipulate HIM into feeling bad for HER choice to assault him. This is perfectly shown when he tried to make HER feel fine by saying she helped even though she didn't. Sex is not a way to cope with the difficulty in processing death caused by unalivement. She offered no help for the real reason he went to see her in the first place. He's simply trying to stop her frenzied panic because that's who he is. Who she knows he is based on the session. Buck shows empathy, care, vulnerability, people pleasing, and when he speaks of his sex addiction, it's clear to her that sex isn't an addiction so much as an unhealthy coping mechanism and she uses ALL of this against him by the end. The sex thing even more. Because that's what she wants from him, and she saw an opening when she realizes that Buck already had a distorted relationship with sex.

She's unethical from all fronts, from every angle.

She's a predator.

I hope this was helpful!

Because 911 gave me teacher Buck LIKE I ASKED! let's do a prompt.

Teacher Buck who tried out to be a firefighter, had an accident, and that dream had to be shelved.

Now that Buck is better, he could try again, but he's found a place he loves teaching. That doesn't stop Buck from keeping in shape. Going on hikes, gym, etc. (In other words, teacher Buck looks like current tank firefighter Buck.)

At the gym, he sees Eddie.

Eddie is new to the gym. And Buck can't help thinking he's attractive. But Buck also minds his own business, does his exercises, and leaves. Unbeknownst to him, Eddie noticed him too.

After a few weeks of noticing each other, throwing secret glances, and pining, Buck leaves the gym to enter a nearby Café and Eddie decides to enter too when he's passing by and sees Buck inside. They make conversation, become friends and fall in love.

I've had the most devious idea, lmao

Established Buddie.

So, newly therapied Buck has decided to be civil with his parents if they find themselves in the same room, but outside of this, he wants nothing to do with them anymore. He’s moved on and found his own family and he simply doesn’t have the energy to exhaust on his parents when he could focus loving positive energy on his boyfriend and son instead.

Buck and Maddie go out to have dinner and catch up and that’s when Maddie shares her parents got a dog now that they’ve both retired. Buck just raises a brow at that because he never imagined the Buckley parents to be pet people. Maddie just shrugs in a “I don’t even know” way. And they move on to other topics.

When Maddie’s birthday rolls around, she tells him the Buckley parents will come. So, Buck starts to prepare mentally to be within breathing distance of his parents because he knows just because he’s decided not to have a relationship with them doesn’t mean they won’t try to interact with Buck. And he knows he’ll leave too exhausted to even think once it’s all done. Eddie, of course, promises to be stuck to him the whole night and have his back.

Birthday arrives and the Buckley parents came with the dog. A golden retriever they simply adore and spoil. The dog is a curious, happy, intelligent, hyperactive little thing. Untrained still and reckless, but incredibly affectionate and loving.

And Buck can’t help but think that either he’s going insane, or the universe hates him because they literally adopted toddler Buck in dog form, and he doesn’t know if he should laugh or cry. He is officially beneath dog in the Buckley parent’s list because they absolutely adore and spoil on the dog. And somehow, this dog has found himself stuck to Buck, jumping onto him, following him around and Buck’s just so tired he wants to home. But Buck does as he does best—gaslight himself into thinking he’s both fine and pathetically exaggerating what’s going on because he’s just jealous.

Except, he feels incredibly vindicated when he’s not the only one to notice the infuriating irony. The 118 do too.

Especially Eddie, who’s particularly enraged by the audacity of it all. Eddie is truly so close to losing his shit he doesn’t even know what to do with himself other than stick by Buck and make sure Buck isn’t about to have a hysterical break down over the utter ridiculousness that is his life. Because, seriously, wtf?

Supernatural AU

Buck’s the only supernatural in the 118 and no one knows what he is despite the time he’s been working with them.

Everyone’s curious in one way or another—except Lucy who doesn’t really care.

Chimney, however, is being driven mad not knowing what Buck is. He won’t cross any lines or make Buck uncomfortable, which is why he doesn’t talk or mentions it to Buck, clearly taking the hint that Buck doesn’t want to talk about it if he’s not offering the information himself. That doesn’t stop him, however, from making a mental list of all the possible supernatural races Buck could be. And upon extensive observation Chim is 99% sure Buck’s a vampire. Sense sensitivities? picky eating? preppy one day and sluggish the next until he drinks some red concoction? Impulsiveness? Quick and agile as well as strong? Restless? Always seeming energized unless hungry or injured? Knowledgeable in random fact no one seems to know anything about? Especially historical? Clear cut! cased closed! Right?!

Then, Eddie joins the 118. And Chimney is almost 100% sure now. Chim is certain Eddie is a werewolf and they’re known for not getting along with vampires. Especially when it’s a territorial or perceived threat issue. Except Eddie drops he’s a vampire into conversation. Chim is a little surprised, but not deterred! Vampires might be one community, but they do divide themselves into clans. And such clans also have territorial debacles.

Buck and Eddie spend one day on an awkward push and pull but after the bomb, they're fine. (Inside the ambulance, Buck helped Eddie with his abilities and Eddie now knows what Buck is.)

Buddie gets super close and start dating—and the last one seals the deal! Vampires aren’t known for dating outside themselves!

Turns out, however, that Buck is a witch with ADHD and a lot of what Chim attributes to vampirism is just ADHD.

One of Oliver's tattoos got me thinking and here we are!

Ancient Greek times: 

Buck raised himself into a lonely energetic man filled with the joys of the little things. He’s insecure and hopeful in equal measures. He helps the elderly, teaches children, rehabilitates animals, but it’s his beauty that’s the talk of the town.

Traveling through Europe, Taylor Kelly stops by Buck’s town. In a stroke of bad luck, Buck’s beauty catches her eyes too. The people warn him against the red-haired red flag. But when she asks him to become the subject of her next sculpture, he agrees. She becomes increasingly frustrated with each failed attempt until she decides to simply... turn Buck himself into a marbled statue and her name goes up in history.

Present day:

Eddie, a single father, saved enough money for a father-son trip to Europe. There, they go to a museum where Buck stands. The guide tells the entirety of Evan’s tragic life and shares the opinion that the magic portion is false, of course—a story created by the people in the town to explain Buck’s disappearance by also justifying their distrust and hatred for Taylor by blaming her for it. The truth however, remains. Taylor is the last person to see Buck and Buck’s sudden, unannounced, disappearance was never solved.

Eddie is drawn to the statue and Chris is taken by the story too. Eddie finds himself going to the museum a lot. And one day, he can't help himself. When no one is around, he goes up to the statue, touches it, and Buck takes a breath—the white marble strips off him and the birthmark no one made mention of stark over his eye and brow appears.

And so, the story of their love and family begins!

(No BuckTaylor)

Lucy is one of the women the recluse catfished with Buck’s picture.

Imagine her surprise when she jumps into the back of the bombed car to help the 118 and Buck’s there.

Worse yet, all these years later and she isn’t over it. In fact, all these years have only fueled her anger more and she plans to let Buck know one way or another.

Buddie somewhere. Either established buddie or getting together.

Eddie is rebuilding his relationship with his parents, especially his father. As the family usually followed his lead, including Helena.

It comes to a point where Eddie is comfortable coming out.

Ramón quickly summarizes that if Eddie feels the need to come out then it's, possibly, because he has eyes on someone already. And Ramón says this with eagerness, hoping Eddie has found someone to love.

Eddie admits he has found someone: Buck.

On the other hand, Buck is happy for Eddie that he's fixing his relationship with his parents and even proud at Helena and Ramón for even admitting a change needed to be made, let alone, actually trying to make make this change and be better. He's just sad he can't say the same thing about his own parents, who he has grown even more distant with, somehow.

So, with Ramón encouragement, Eddie confesses to Buck.

They start dating.

The Buckley parents only get worse. Either Eddie is hearing Buck recount a childhood memory or they're being awful when they talk to Buck over the phone or when they visit to see Jee.

Eddie tells Buck that he knows its not the same, but he's offering Buck the Diaz parents, if he wants, because they love Buck just by what Eddie and Chris talk to them about. And they're excited to meet him and get to know him.

Buck is just touched to know Eddie's family even accept him to date Eddie, so this has him over the moon. His entire family is built upon the family he made in the 118. But there's something foreign yet meaningful about his partners' family becoming his.

Furthermore, he's touched by Eddie himself. Who is so sure in their relationship that he's offering Buck to make the entirety of the Diaz family Buck's as well.

And so, for a holiday, the Buckley-Diaz family fly out to Texas.

Buck has the best time.

Chris is over it.

Buck and Eddie have been dating for a while. Ok, fine, like, three months. But they've really been dating forever. And Eddie isn't getting with the program.

So, Chris asks Buck to marry them with a plastic ring.

Buck is surprised and amused. Touched too. That Chris loves him so much and wants Buck around forever.

Eddie is too stunned to speak.

When Buck starts to talk, trying to explain to Chris why maybe now isn't the right time, Eddie notes it's not because Buck doesn't want to, but because he's anxious over Eddie's reaction.

And Eddie can't have that. He admits he wants to marry Buck, he wants to wake up and go to sleep next to Buck. He wants Buck at home for the good and the bad and the in-between. He wants to introduce Buck as his husband and fidget with a ring when Buck isn't near. And he just wants everything, all the time, with Buck. And he wanted to go slow because it's something everyone says they should do, but if it were for Eddie, Buck would have been theirs in all ways possible the moment they decided to become romantic.

And Chris is like: that's silly. Why would we wait because other people say so? We want to keep Buck so why wouldn't we tell him we want to keep him? Why do other people get to tell us what to do?

And Eddie agrees. It is silly, but adults can be silly sometimes. Unsure and following other people's lead and logic instead of their own hearts.

Buck, obviously, says yes.

They can't get married right now, like Chris wants. They don't have the papers or an appointment. But they can start moving Buck in while they settle that.

Buck keeps the plastic ring. Making a fairy dome for it, which he keeps in the living room shelf where all their pictures and family trinkets are. He also gets it tattooed, so he can carry it with him everywhere.

Because I cannot deal right now, and Tim went all -write fanficfion if you don't like what I write- here's a prompt to fix some of the dumpster fire that happened in 5x11.

Buck is waiting for Eddie and chatting up with Lucy. He's having a good time talking to her until Lucy starts getting a little too close and insinuating things, and buying Buck drinks.

Buck's too nice to say anything but he starts getting a little uncomfortable.

When she says she likes to see him squirm, he denies it and looks to the side, trying to see if Eddie has made it and trying to put some distance with Lucy.

Which is when Lucy pounces to kiss him.

Buck startles and reels back. He stutters and is too shoked to say anything at first.

Lucy goes all "live a little" and tries to kiss him again.

But Buck is aware of her now and says he has a girlfriend.

Lucy backs off and apologizes.

Buck apologizes if he sent the wrong message or something. He didn't mean to.

Lucy is all "no harm no foul, you were just being nice, I misinterpreted."

Buck texts Eddie, who says something came up and he couldn't come.

Buck decides the night is now awful and can't decide if he's too drunk or not drunk enough to deal with all this bullshit.

He goes to the loft and tells Taylor about the kiss, apologizing.

Taylor asks if he reciprocated.

Buck says no.

Taylor then says he has nothing to apologize for then. Obviously it was an unfortunate misunderstanding and he didn't do anything wrong.

Buck still apologizes, because that's who he is, trying to say that he should have expected it or something.

Taylor jokes that he's not a mind reader. If he wasn't even looking at Lucy when it happened how was he to guess that's what Lucy was going to do.

Buck doesn't think of Lucy that way and doesn't want to kiss her nor did he want to reciprocate. But it does leave him thinking about the night before the kiss. How much fun he was having and the easy camaraderie he had with Lucy before the misunderstanding. He can't stop thinking that he needs to reevaluate his relationship if a one day friendship felt better than a 6+ month relationship.

So, character development! Buck is the one who breaks up with Taylor after a few days. Accepting that sometimes leaving is the right thing, and how for once, it has to be his non-impulsive, unwavering choice.

She asks if it was about Lucy.

He says yes, but explains it wasn't the kiss. It was the fact that he felt more comfortable and open with a new friend than with his girlfriend and that obviously isn't right.

Taylor admits the relationship has been on a standstill for a while and she knows Buck has a lot going on too. She wanted it to work, but she had a feeling it wouldn't.

She leaves.

Buck goes to Eddie and finds him in the middle of his meltdown.

Buck is there for Eddie, who opens up, at last, bridging their divide so they can heal and come together.

An epiphany: Buck realizes he's in love with Eddie Diaz instead.

Established Buddie.

Eddie's on a day off.

Buck has to save someone who just needs to grab his hand and she doesn't. She let's go and is only saved because the bag is filled in time. But Buck feels a little off-kilter with it all.

To make matters worse, Bobby asks Buck to go to a department therapist to talk about it and be cleared. Buck counters that he has Dr. Copeland but Bobby wants a therapist that works with firefighters.

Buck gets upset and, because it's the end of shift, leaves without trying to hide that he's angry.

Buck makes it to Eddie's house. Eddie isn't home yet, so Buck sends Carla on her way and takes care of Chris in the meantime.

When Eddie comes home from runing errands, Buck tells him everything. Eddie agrees, that it's a little strange that Bobby is being so adamant when he can call Dr. Copeland so she's aware what he wants her to asses Buck on, but he is a little unsure as to why Buck feels so strongly about not going to the department therapist. He knows Buck was reminded of his first loss and that's hard, traumatic even, but he also knows Buck is fine and will be fine in the coming days. So, it's not like he wouldn't pass whatever assessment Bobby wants.

At first, Buck is evasive. He doesn't want to say why he's so angry about it all. He cleans around the house, cooks, is happy go-lucky, then he's angry, then he's sad. Then he's anxious and Eddie watched Buck on multiple times stop a panic attack from escalating.

Eddie doesn't know how to help and that's breaks his heart.

Eventually, though, the day is over. They put Chris to sleep. And Buck admits what actually happened with Dr. Wells. How he didn't just sleep with some therapist, but how it all went down, why Buck went to her, how he felt during and after and years later still. How he remembers everyone joked about it and Buck swallowed the bile on his mouth everytime to fake a laugh about it too.

Eddie is there to comfort him and be there for him.

Even more so when Buck accepts to go a department therapist only for the only one available to be Dr. Wells, who is back in the department.

Buck can't handle even remembering her much less this.

Eddie calls Athena and all hell breaks loose.

Buck's just happy and relieved Eddie is his rock through all of it.