awliterate

Imagine that your partner has been hitting you. Yelling at you. You’ve been married for a few years, you’re both in your 30s, you have a little daughter, and everything you do seems to be wrong. You’ve been made fun of, mocked and belittled by your partner. 

But you need them, because you can’t take another failed relationship. You can’t be alone again, and they’ve got you convinced that all the beatings and scratches and scrapes are your fault.

You tell your friends and they laugh. No matter how many bruises or cuts you show them, it’s still your fault, so you hide them. You feel trapped, but you don’t feel like you can escape. You’re convinced that you’re just locking yourself in.

And you see online one day an article. Someone else went through what you have. They got the cuts, the bruises, the scratches. You see that here is hope and freedom from these beatings. The physical and emotional pain can go away, there is someone there to help!

So you write down a list of 10 abuse victim hotlines, for people being abused. And you call them one by one.

If you were a man:

6 of those hotlines would refuse to help because of your gender.

3 of those hotlines would refer you to or give you a number to a hotline dealing with people that abuse and are looking to stop.

1 of those hotlines would help.

Out of those 10, 2 of those would also laugh at you or say you deserved it.

If you were a woman:

10 of those hotlines would help.

Abuse is very scary, but what seems scarier to you; being abused, reaching out and getting the help you need, or being abused, reaching out and getting laughed and turned away over 60% of the time because of who you are?

Only 8% of men who call abuse hotlines find them ‘very helpful’ and get the assistance they need.

“Feminists” Who don’t support women in 3rd world countries are not feminists

“Feminists” who harass men are not feminists

“Feminists” Who believe that women are superior to men are not feminists

“Feminists” who are racist, homophobic, or transphobic are not feminists

“Feminists” who want special treatment are not feminists

“Feminists” who harass anti feminists are not feminists

“Feminists” who don’t have good intentions are not feminists

If someone says they’re a feminist, they’re a feminist.

All the anti-feminists love to tell the feminists that it’s a hate movement, that the only way it will not be a hate movement is if the feminists clean up their own movement and denounce the extremists.

Telling antifeminists who are ‘real’ feminists does something productive?; when the claimed “fake” feminists are the ones needing to hear the message. They’re addressing the wrong group in the first place. This is also about DENYING FEMINISM’S RESPONSIBILITY for problematic historical actions of racism, transphobia, homopobia, and anti-male legislation.

There is a HUGE difference between cleaning up, and sweeping it under the rug. To clean you have to acknowledge there’s dirt. And get the soap products out to actual go for the mold.  This is just: dirt is not possible - problem solved because there is no problem to solve- because there is no capability of being bad. just like magic- neat! This is just running away from the problem as non-existent, just denial.

This is saying "true feminism". Which fails to understand the current pressing situation of feminism being a HOMONYM (A homonym is a word that is said and spelled the same way as another word but has a different meaning) in COMMON USAGE. We're talking about how people use the word feminism as an identity in REAL LIFE, not the dictionary- which fails to reflect the complexities of identity and movement politics, for an oversimplified ideal. Feminism has branches and multiple interpretations and therein more meanings than just "pro-equality". Or that pro-equality can also be subjective, more than you would think.

This isn't arguing “hey yeah, feminism has problems and as a symbol/label/word has been misused to hurt people of varying demographics, and sorry, but please recognize the good, not just the bad. Help us call out bad feminists.”. It’s saying  "feminism can't be problematic because feminism means-" which doesn't even begin to acknowledge that FEMINISM MEANS DIFFERENT THINGS TO DIFFERENT PEOPLE, not just one thing to you and those who agree with you in particular, (there is much more than the dictionary that is also relevant- your interpretation is not the only valid or active one) . Essentially this method of back-pedaling criticism is “It’s paradoxical for it to EVER BE problematic so drop the conversation completely please” nothing new- while completely failing to address that these ‘fakes' are still: convenient to quote in academia, offer support and assets that feminism still taps into, and are granted powerful positions as well as financial access to feminism as a whole, and able to direct feminism and its resources. There is no check and balance system preventing this stuff either.

In this way, if we follow op’s proposal, the only feminists are good feminists, we’re not supposed to recognize a pattern of most misandrists identifying as feminist rather than anything else- we’re not supposed to make a correlation- that could potentially incriminate feminism- or make it look bad at all- that it could play a (guilty) part even remotely just a little bit. Don’t blame or question feminism for being a commonality? That derails and is dishonest, a dishonesty which leads to a blindness that can allow those problems that could be linked to feminism but is tabooed to imply so, to fester improperly challenged. Negative takes on an ideology still matter, especially why they happen. What elements DRAW rotten apples toward something seemingly good- which yes- is SOMETHING about the thing. Rather than explore that, you’d shut it down before an investigation could even start. What you would have done is “it doesn't make sense” for something assumed-good/perfect and leave it at that. Instead its deflected as nonfeminists’ fault for pointing it out, (how dare they) rather than the radfems creating the image. Well that doesn’t do anything about it, does it.

It doesn’t help anyone, except feminists, to pretend that feminism hasn’t been weaponized by bad people and/or that that shouldn’t matter or represent it at all?? It Does matter actually as the claim that feminism is an effective TOOL or movement for equality, needs to be analyzed and kept consistent to be true, rather than blindly accepted, purely on faith. If it’s doing a bad job of stopping its resources being misused to damage others, that will and should reflect it... how productive and reliable it is. Feminism NEEDS criticism in order to motivate its ass to better itself clearly, Not less of it or trying to dismiss it every damn time with ‘but they’re not real’. IRRELEVANT, they are STILL USING FEMINISM (its spaces, its finances, its support, its influences in government, its power, its label - you name it) regardless, which the point is- they should NOT be able to, not so easily and not so damn rampant. Telling nonfeminists that they shouldn’t be bothered by feminism being openly and repetitively accessible and utlitized by assholes that do do damage, and complaining that vulnerability shouldn't be deemed important or notable about feminism at all, or detract from how valuable it is... No, It is absolutely apart of assessing feminism’s merits, as a movement and current userbase. Feminism doesn’t get special immunity from this critique.

Perhaps lip service or a tumblr blog post inable to comprehend this means very little? And doesn’t offer a real solution? More like a cop out. not a call out. 

The 911 Call

The Police Video

The Cell phone video (at bottom)

http://elitedaily.com/news/world/controversial-anti-homeless-spikes-prevent-homeless-sleeping-doorways/624292/

http://www.travelandpositiveliving.com/2014/04/whats-purpose-of-concrete-spikes-under.html

http://www.ministryoftofu.com/2012/07/photos-guangzhou-sets-concrete-spikes-under-bridges-to-drive-away-homeless-people/

http://stsnext20.org/vignettes/2014/03/26/when-parisian-benches-have-politics-street-furniture-and-the-strategies-of-spatial-exclusion/

http://rue89.nouvelobs.com/photo-rue/2009/11/26/empecher-les-sdf-de-sasseoir-la-ville-ne-manque-pas-didees

http://www.morbleu.com/le-tiers-exclu-iv-des-dispositifs-architecturaux-anti-sdf/1547124430_1854ccee23_o/

http://fictioninternational.sdsu.edu/wordpress/catalog/issue-43-walls/do-not-remain/

This isn’t true. Innocent men—especially innocent men of color—are quite often put behind bars without good cause. Our justice system is faulty, and it also heavily favors women.

Let’s assume that all men behind bars are guilty, however. What crimes can get you put behind bars? Think about this question. Think about all of the non-violent, victimless crimes that can get a man locked away for life. Think of petty crimes. Think of men who have never actually harmed another human being in their entire lives.

Those men can easily end up in prison, and they run a high risk of being raped. Repeatedly.

The reason men do not fear being raped outside of prison, is because they are taught that they cannot be. If a woman rapes them, they wanted it, they scored, they should be celebrating, not shaking and crying and feeling like they’ve been violated. If a man does it, they’re fags, perverts, fetishists, and they probably wanted that, too. They’re taught that they cannot be raped.

But they’re taught that, if they go to prison, suddenly, they can be. For some inexplicable reason, they believe that they can only be raped in prison, that, outside of prison, they’re invulnerable; probably because that is what society, as a whole, has taught them.

You are using victims of rape to justify the necessity of feminism. You are using victims of rape who already struggle to let their voices be heard, because American society has turned the rape of male convicts into a joke. We laugh at the concept of men being raped. We actually fucking laugh at it.

Most prisoners are not serving sentences for violent crimes. 7.9% of sentenced prisoners in federal prisons (as of September 2009) were in for violent crimes. 1/3rd of all prison exonerations have been men that were wrongfully convicted of sexual assault, who were probably then sexually assaulted in prison. People have been raped for the crime of being innocent. It’s also a known fact the justice system is highly racist.

Men are the majority of victims for just about every crime, particularly black men. According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics, men are 61% of assault victims, 80% of robbery victims, and 63% of victims for all “crimes of violence.” Men are also 77% of murder victims. The CDC made a report in 2010 which says almost half of rape victims are male when you discount prison statistics.

Plus, as mentioned above, rape doesn’t usually happen outside. 11% of rapes and sexual assaults are committed by strangers, according to the Department of Justice. In 60% of all cases, the rape took place in a location the victim would have assumed was safe (generally their own home, or the home of a friend/relative).

So this tweet isn’t accurate. I mean, it could be for some women - maybe that’s a legitimate fear - but that wouldn’t line up with the facts about violence/rape in the USA. A person’s chance of being raped is less than 1%. Being on the sidewalk, that number is even less.

CDC - National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey 2010

So, what’s that I keep hearing about the vast majority of rapes and domestic abuse incidents being male on female?

What’s that about rape culture being based entirely or exclusively around the erasure of female rape?

so either way, women are still under more of a threat of sexual violence than men. i don’t see how these stats change that fact: in fact, they support it.

The 12 months for women, with all forms of sexual violence, is around 7.9 million. The 12 moths for men is around 6 million and change. The numbers for “Rape, physical violence and/or stalking” are about 6.7 and 5.7.

I’d really like to know where your 4 mil came from. Show your work.

Some of these guys are *gasp* straight, cis, white, neurotypical, and able bodied. So I don’t understand how feminists on this website can think they know it all, yet say “men are gross, they should die, they are so privileged, nothing is wrong with their lives.”

That message is sick beyond belief. I can’t believe such a large number of people back those statements and the harassment of men who have done nothing.

Brilliant.

I say we all do this. Every single person who enters any shop that is part of a large and highly profitable company should do this. Every time we go in to one of these shops we should each steal something. Nothing too expensive, just a small item. Because you know, if every single person did this the profit margins of the shop wouldn’t plummet, and the knock on effect wouldn’t be that they would raise their prices. This wouldn’t have any effect on anyone. This literally wouldn’t be hurting anybody, would it?

Except it would literally be hurting every single person who shopped there because it would increase their cost of living.

All I want to say is FUCK YOU to that person for implying that I was not raped (repeatedly from 11 to 13, I might add) because I am a white woman.

Fuck this bullshit. Don’t ever try to invalidate a horrific trauma like rape because of skin color, or gender, or EVER.

They laugh how men have fragile egos, but they complain about a fashion article for weeks.

They hate cisgendered white men, but worship Tom Hiddleston, Benedict Cumberbatch, Jensen Ackles, Chris Evans, and other white male celebrities. 

Bash men for fetishizing lesbians, but they create fan art and fanfics where gay men are sexualized; some of them glorify rape and pedophilia. Plus, they ship real life men. 

They hate bronies for sexualizing MLP characters, then there’s Elsana porn all over the place. And they fetishized a real life person (Yuzuru Hanyu incident). 

Making kitchen/sandwich jokes is a sin, but “kill all men” is acceptable. 

Criticize men who complain about friendzoning, then they quickly call a man misogynist, racist, transphobic fat shamer if he’s not attracted to them. 

no.

androgens mask ‘classic’ depression symptoms, which leads to signs known as “male pattern” depression

http://www.professionalpsychiatry.com/depression.html

Male pattern depression can include signs seen infrequently in women:

Lower stress threshold

Aggressive behavior or difficulty controlling impulses

Irritability, restlessness, dissatisfaction

Anxiety, especially in the morning

Alcohol abuse or illegal drug use

Excessive exercise or work

Hyperactive behavior

Eating too little or too much

Antisocial behavior and/or pushing or testing social norms

This, by the by, is the cause of ‘the depression gap’. There actually aren’t more depressed women than men, it’s just that in men it presents as other disorders.

Oh, and heads up:

First, you include harmless things like “Male Tears” mugs, which is right on par with the “boys go to Jupiter” doggerel the OP references. You don’t really think people sharing jokes at the expense of those who make their lives difficult constitutes hatred, do you?

Second, the fact that you include things like this, along with various instances of individual women being bad to men, and a few examples of genuine institutional biases against men, speaks poorly to your intentions and your understanding of structures in society.

kind of like how cat calling is harmless? or “go make me a sandwich” is harmless?  I’m sure you have a half-baked reason as to why those two things actually cause harm.  

"Male Tears" mugs enforce the stereotype that men don’t/shouldn’t cry, or that they should remain stoic in all situations.  I don’t understand how you can claim that enforcing gender roles and stereotypes and then calling it a "joke" isn’t harmful?  Male Tears mugs also prove, if not a hatred, then at least that there are many women who look down on men, which could be equated to hatred, but is definitely sexist.

I don’t know if you read the entire post or not, but I’m going to assume no, considering that the very first paragraph addressed misandry.  It has nothing to do with oppression, or “structures in society.”  It is the hatred of men.  That’s it.  No one is claiming that this is an institutional bias, or even that it means that men are oppressed simply for being men.  It only means that men also face sexism, and to deny that is to deny important issues happening in society.