AwkwardlyAdorned

They say that you write your own story. Have you ever felt the stifling weight of that pen? Breathed the intoxicating fumes of that ink? Or touched the dire thinness of that paper?

Sometimes I look at something in my life and realize just how one sided things can be. It’s a blessing really. To toil over something, viewing only one perspective, can be torturous. I take in the story I believe it, Instill it, I begin to live it, then there’s this variable that doesn’t just make sense. So I take a step back and reach for my microscope. I gaze at this piece under that magnifying glass, I pick it up turn it over and ultimately just toss it out because it doesn’t make sense when compared to my initial picture. The picture that I have preconceived in my mind. So tomorrow I go about building my story brick after brick, word after word, and yet again stumble upon this piece that just doesn’t fit. Again I analyze it, think it over, around, under, and through. Still it doesn’t fit with the original story so again I throw it out. The days pass and time turns and yet again I stumble across a misfit piece of the puzzle and again am forced, based on my current perspective, to throw it out because I have ultimately deemed that it doesn’t fit. Today turns into tomorrow, turns into next week, and next month, when I am suddenly hit with the realization that all those pieces that I have thrown out really do fit into the original picture. They are the jagged pieces that fit in and make the image unique or they are the pieces that have the power to completely change the final product. They are the pieces that carry the power to change everything, for better or for worse. Now take a step back and analyze the situation that you have been mulling over. Don’t go backwards to pick up a previously discarded puzzle piece but look deeply at the pieces that are on the table. Move to the left or to the right. Get a ladder to gaze upon these seemingly unfit pieces from above or get really low, does anything change? Do they all really fit? Have you hammered some into place? Are some fitting but fitting loosely at best? Are the new ones that are flittering across the table pieces that really do fit into the bigger picture? The grandeur story? While I take all the time in the world to over analyze the things that don’t seem to make a great deal of difference, I look upon past puzzles and realize that if I had not discarded those “unfitting pieces” the puzzle would have been so much more fluid. Disillusionment? Idealism? Deceit? Rose colored glasses? Denial? All of these a true possibility and I’ll probably never know what guise those pieces hid under, but tomorrow I can begin to take a clearer look, a more open look, a multi sided look. Because just when I think I’ve got the whole story a bigger puzzle piece falls to the table.