we're thirty seconds in, let's not throw a parade

He had to guess her ring size somehow

[ID: Drawing of Taako, an elven man with tan, freckled skin and blonde hair in a long braid. He is wearing blue and purple wizard robes and a hat. He is seated on top of Garyl, a white binocorn with rainbow colored hair. They appear to be at the first window of a drive through. Speaking to the employee inside, Taako says, “Yeah, can I get uh…fucking….uhhh.” End ID]

[ID: A drawing of a teenage angus Mcdonald working a fastfood drive through. He has brown skin, short, curly hair, and a slight build. He is wearing typical fastfood hat, shirt, and jeans. He is standing by the ordering window and facing forward with a very annoyed expression. Outside the window is Taako, an elven wizard, riding on a spectral binocorn. Taako has tan skin, curly blonde hair, and a slight build. He is wearing blue and purple wizard robes. Garyle, the binocorn, is mostly pink, with a muticolored mane. Taako looks to be in the middle of ordering food. A flashy sign inside the restaurant reads: “The Taako™ burger.” End ID]

the curtain rises! here it is…. my big piece for the @boycloakfanzine !!

After over a year of planning and months of work from the 30 artists that were kind enough to participate in this project, I’m so happy to present ‘100 Bad Days’, a TAZ: Balance MAP PMV. Endless thanks to the artists who participated in bringing this to fruition and thank you to The McElroy Family for creating such an amazing inspiration for us all. Check out all of the lovely artists who participated at their socials linked under the cut:

Top left: Kravitz is depicted as a tiefling with pointed ears and horns protruding from his forehead. He and Taako are seen from the waist up and kissing; Taako’s arm is resting on Kravitz’s shoulder, and Kravitz has an arm slung around Taako’s waist. Taako appears to be sitting in Kravitz’s lap. Bottom left: Kravitz and Taako are seen from the bust up. Kravitz has a red cape, and Taako is wearing a purple null suit. Kravitz’s back is turned away from the viewer, and his face is seen in profile as he and Taako shake hands. They’re both smiling. Kravitz’s head is lowered and his eyes are shut, but Taako is looking directly at him. “Charmed,” Taako says.

The classic “elves in Faerun don’t echolocate”

The one where Magnus jumps up behind Davenport as part of rogue training and Davenport yells “Magnus, stop doing that!!!” 100% reflexively

A fic I read one time where Taako and Magnus got into some lengthy debate about Fantasy Iron Chef or Fantasy Survivor or something while a local with no concept of television listened in like “How?? Were you watching these people???  Guys??”

Magnus stripping naked in front of Lucretia doesn’t twig as weird to anyone in the room

Davenport can’t hold a conversation, but he can and will destroy you at any strategy game you put in front of him

Addendum: sometimes he and Merle play some sort of elaborately house ruled poker with a tarot deck and no one else can figure out what’s going on but they don’t seem to be improvising and they never actually discussed the house rules before implementing them?

Magnus punches a plate of cookies out of Avi’s hands because those have hazelnuts in them and don’t you know the Director is allergic?? (He didn’t know.  Nobody knew.  Merle and Taako knew)

Merle starts up some drinking song that nobody on this entire moon has ever heard before but Magnus jumps right in.  Taako rolls his eyes but joins in on the chorus.  The Director can correctly identify it within two lines.

Lydia and Edward actually have no freaking clue what Dupree is (malformed dragon?) but Merle and Magnus are just “ah yes.  A t-rex”

Barry Bluejeans is a fighter but that one mission involving a necromancer he recognized the ritual immediately and made fun of the guy for using an inefficient circle.

Dani doesn’t really understand Valentine’s day, but her first mistake was listening to Ned’s gift idea

(Aubrey loved it anyway)