And in that moment, everything fell

one of my friends is a very pregnant dog and like 3 times a day i say to her “hello! you are full of several other smaller dogs!” and she wags her entire body at me like “it’s true!!! i contain multitudes”

i love that ur friend is the pregnant dog. what a nice friend to have.

ya she’s my buddy i love her!

update: there were five (5) smaller dogs inside my dog friend, but now they are all outside of her instead (!!) 

GREAT UPDATE NOW YOU HAVE SIX FRIENDS!!!

ya they’re my buddies i love them!!!!!

You blink back. It’s only polite to return the greeting of the Big Night Cat.

I meant for this to be all spooky and ominous, but fuck it, this is way better. I love the Big Night Cat. She is beautiful. I support her.

what am I supposed to do when I’m at work and a customer asks “do you use chip?” and I say “yes but we don’t use salsa” and they don’t even laugh

the first customer I tried this joke on was like the epitome of White Dad™️ and after I said it his face was stoic but his eyes swelled with extreme pride

but just get out and vote right?

And remember that Nestle is one of the root causes of the Flint water crisis

@leggylance

when ever there’s a chase scene in a film and some fruit stall gets knocked over i always feel really bad because what if that’s the fruit guys only source of income and his wife has left him and he has a kid in hospital with cancer i want to know more about the fate of the fruit seller does he get it together and turn his life around or is it the last straw for him we’ll never know

you know what trend needs to come back? those fancy old french dresses with the giant hips. the ones that are so wide they look like someone stuck a table in there. i want a dress so big people have to shout casual conversation at me from ten feet away. what kind of love letter to the concept of personal space

See they’re wide at the hips, but not so much at the back and front. A good crinoline would solve that problem. And top it off with a wide brim hat armed with a pin for good measure.

Concept: a dragon that tries to sleep on top of it’s friends and family every night bc they’re it’s greatest treasure

where r the rest of the notes, this is Important

damn it turned the water into 90s anime water

Can the LGBT community back the hell off just a bit please? Like, you already ruined the rainbow for everyone else, now you also want to claim ownership over bob haircuts???

reblog if you’re LGBT and you ruined the rainbow for straight people

As a bisexual with this exact hair, I can confirm that yes, we are claiming ownership of bob haircuts

Also, I gotta add, Half shaved hair is also owned by bisexuals now. I don’t make the rules, sorry.

fucking how

WHAT THE HAP IS FUCKENING

IT GOT BETTER

how

hOW

This is amazing

Ok but how did they make it look like he was driving

this deserves an academy award nomination