vic

you have to be kinder to people who are slow processors.

you have to be kinder to people who don't understand your jokes.

you have to be kinder to people who forget important dates.

you have to be kinder to people with cognitive decline.

you have to be kinder to people who were always this way, too.

you deserve aftercare.

i know that’s not always the narrative. i know a lot of you have been conditioned to believe that your job is to take care of everyone else and then quietly put yourself back together after. that needing reassurance makes you soft. that asking for tenderness after makes you too much. that your role means you don’t get to need things the way your partner does.

that’s not true. and i need you to hear that.

the amount of presence you bring. the care you put into making someone feel safe and seen and taken care of. the way you hold everything together and pay attention to every small detail. that deserves to be acknowledged. that deserves to be met with the same tenderness you gave.

you are allowed to need to be held after. you are allowed to need someone to look at you and tell you that you did well. that they felt good. that they felt safe. that you were exactly what they needed. you are allowed to have those questions racing in your head and need them answered out loud.

there is nothing weak about that. there is nothing wrong with you for wanting it.

and if you’ve never had it. if you’ve been giving and giving and leaving empty every time. i want you to know that the right person will not let you leave empty. the right person will pull you close and hold your face and make you look at them and tell you every single thing you needed to hear.

you deserve that. you have always deserved that.