ellievsbear
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Not today Justin
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oozey mess
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One Nice Bug Per Day
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noise dept.
$LAYYYTER
we're not kids anymore.
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@awayfly
˹ 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 … 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐚 𝐠𝐨𝐝 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐮𝐬. ˼ a portrayal of 𝐉𝐎𝐒𝚮𝐔𝚨 𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐅𝐈𝐄𝐋𝐃 written by yana, inspired by source material, meta, greek mythology, and other forms of consumed media. ˹ 𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐱, 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞. ˼
˹ 𝐈 ˼ study. ˹ 𝐈𝐈 ˼ verses. ˹ 𝐈𝐈𝐈 ˼ visage. ˹ 𝐈𝐕 ˼ prose. ˹ 𝐕 ˼ lore. ˹ 𝐕𝐈 ˼ aesthetic.
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i think joshua is my nicest muse. all my other ones are really rude, sassy, sarcastic, or just mean lmfao.
"I know that it is his power that you seek. But know this..."
the air seems to shift as the king makes his way to his throne, he makes a sharp turn and exits the room. ❛ as for your inquiries, i think we should find a place that provides a bit more solitude. we do not want others to intrude, now do we? ❜ his footfalls echoes against the stone floors as he makes his to a more secluded area of the castle, the throne room is large but for such a large room it is emptier than it should be. the king saw no need for the decorations not with what he knew — the world would be reborn and all else along with it. why bother wasting time with materialistic items. ❛ i do not think you foolish enough to find out. ❜ he says, his hand dances along the hilt of his blade. ❛ and i do not wish to be rid of you so soon. you will be my guest. mine. ❜ he says with a certainty that the phoenix knows his place. ❛ now, do you refuse me? ❜ he halts abruptly and turns on his heel to face him. ❛ choose wisely, joshua rosfield. ❜
𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐣𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐮𝐚 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐰 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐯𝐚𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐣𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐮𝐚, 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐨𝐜𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐮𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐱. the question was soon met with the steely gaze of the king who he now knew did not appreciate the hypothetical questioning—but he was correct in assuming that joshua would not, no—he could not refuse the king, lest he submit to his own doom.
❛ of course not your majesty. ❜ joshue began, a bow of his head before raising it back up to meet the king’s eyes. such intensity was unmatched, and they bore straight through joshua. even if he wanted to hide, he felt that barnabas would see him in any shadow. ❛ if giving myself over to you will assist in my research than i see no need to dance along the question. ❜ joshua placed his hand over his chest and lowered his head once more, ❛ i am yours to command, my liege. ❜ the fate of the world rested on his shoulders, he could not falter now.
JOSHUA ROSFIELD + HUGS
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he’d been raised to be grateful for life , just to be alive and to have had survived the harsh world that rejected him. he remembers well the hatred he experienced from both grisha and otkazat’sya , it shaped him then, yet it never stopped him from fighting for those who were weaker than him… he had been blessed with the understanding of shadows , though many grisha were afraid of the darkness. ❛ my mother cared too much for me , yet still, not at all. she loved me... but i fear she does not like me, not anymore... hah, i cannot recall if she ever did. ❜ his mother was ever the enigma, he could not make her out — he had disappointed her one too many times and now was far too old to care for her approval, she cared only for her survival, not grisha as a whole. ❛ my mother taught me what it was to survive, but she never taught me how to live… and so i attempted to find comfort in my solitude, and grew lonely and distant to everyone. ❜ he sighs, sadness was not strong enough to take claim of the feeling clutching his heart. ❛ i do believe we can be better than those who raised us — they want so much, they push their expectations and because of that, all we can bring is disappointment , i am not her puppet. she will not control me , i will not hide. ❜
𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐞𝐱𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝. 𝐣𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐮𝐚 𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐭, 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝. 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐯𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭. 𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐤𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫’𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐣𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐮𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐰𝐧. in those differences joshua understood that a mother who was cold could indeed show love in a twisted way. joshua’s mother however did not have love for anything but power. whatever she could sink her teeth in and sap away for herself—she would have it. if she had known of clive’s potential she would have poured her false adoration into him rather than joshua, for that form of love cannot be shared amongst her children. ❛ they speak oft of how parents are supposed to love their children, yet they do not tell of the ways that form of love may come about… nor do they tell of how conditional it can be. ❜ joshua sighed deeply, his eyes closed shut as he takes air back in. somewhere in his chest he felt a dull ache. a familiar pain that had reminded him of how his mother coddled his life in hopes that his power would reach full potential,
❛ well then, you need not endure in your loneliness for long… if you shall have me as a companion. my fire will fill your dark solitude with a warming light that i hope you find peace in… if even for a moment. ❜ joshua smiled now, it rested easy on his face, ❛ i was well aware that i would not live up to my mother’s expectations, after all she wanted to drive a wedge between my brother and i. ❜ naught but a beat passed as a thought traveled through him. his smile soon washed away from his features. his mother had managed to do more than drive them apart. she caused thirteen years to pass unshared with each other—each living their own type of hell. his brother branded and abused, while he spent his childhood in a coma.
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thank you for thinking of me when you got this little thing. you will always be in my tops favs people and blogs. (+all your blogs meshed into one. enjoy this little cat smoji.
send me questions you have about my character!
anything and everything. favorites. thoughts on people, on events. what they would do in a certain situation. how things would be different if something had/hadn’t happened. simple questions, complex questions. have at it!
GLIMPSES OF THE PAST: a headcanon / prompt collection because sometimes it's not enough to write about your muse's past and how it affects them, you just gotta write a little scene. these prompts are designed to be a little writing prompt related to your character's past, essentially!
send FORGED for a scene from my muse's past that they think made them stronger in the long run
send REMINDED for a scene from my muse's past in which they encountered something that reminded them of a difficult experience / trauma
send CONFESSED for a scene from my muse's past in which they revealed a secret about themselves to someone
send TRICKED for a scene from my muse's past in which they misled, tricked, or lied to someone
send IMPRESSED for a scene from my muse's past in which they tried to impress someone, successfully or not
send ACHIEVED for a scene from my muse's past in which they completed / achieved something they were proud of
send CHANGED for a scene from my muse's past that represented a turning point in their life
send DIFFERENT for a scene from my muse's past that they feel changed their outlook / personality / etc, for the better or worse
send CRITICAL for a scene from my muse's past in which they thought about / were reminded of something they're insecure about
send SCOLDED for a scene from my muse's past in which someone told them off, justifiably or not
send STRAINED for a scene from my muse's past in which they interact with someone they have a difficult relationship with
send SOBBED for a scene from my muse's past in which they broke down in tears
send LOST for a scene from my muse's past in which they felt lost, literally or figuratively
send BLINDSIDED for a scene from my muse's past in which they were betrayed or shocked by what someone did
send INJURED for a scene from my muse's past in which they sustained a significant injury
send AFRAID for a scene from my muse's past in which they were scared / under threat
send HELPED for a scene from my muse's past in which someone helped / saved them
send CAUGHT for a scene from my muse's past in which they were caught doing something they shouldn't
send BLUSHED for a scene from my muse's past in which they received a compliment that really got to them
send VICIOUS for a scene from my muse's past in which someone said something cruel that really got to them
send SWOONED for a scene from my muse's past in which they were infatuated with someone
send PINNED for a scene from my muse's past in which they were stuck somewhere, literally or figuratively
send GRIEVED for a scene from my muse's past in which they had recently lost someone / something
send MORTAL for a scene from my muse's past in which they had a brush with death, either themselves or someone close to them
Circled in the strife of an empyrean catastrophe Tongues of fire incandescent oaths decry! Shadows in the night A swirling cyclone in the sky Look down to the nether Bid farewell forever Throw open your wings and fly! Away! Away! Away!
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i think at heart joshua is a scholar / researcher. is mind is always churning with the what ifs, and hows of things. he would love to explore abandoned ruins, and ancient temples. he is constantly seeking knowledge and trying to understand everything possible. despite this ardent curiosity, he does not breach his morals in his thirst for knowledge. the only person he ever willingly puts in danger is himself.
"I'd gaze at him as though his were the first face I'd ever seen"
- Ellen Bass, from Mules of love; "Remodeling the Bathroom,"
Frida Kahlo, from a letter featured in "The Letters of Frida Kahlo,"
❛ I am made and remade continually. Different people draw different words from me. ❜
the words echo softly in his head like a song playing on repeat. dancing through memories of his past, joshua can only draw from himself—𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐧 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬. ❛ haha, perhaps you are more akin to a phoenix than i. ❜ he said lightheartedly his eyes cast down to the ground,
❛ always being reborn anew in your flesh.❜ he felt a deeper emotion starting to make way on his heart. his body remembered death, but he had alluded it. ❛ i do believe experiences can change you to make you feel remade... but don't the remnants of who you once were cling always, incessantly… wanting to be known? ❜ a curious cant his head, knowing smile began to grow. 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐥𝐞𝐝𝐠𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬. all that they were they are. they could forever be more than what they had offered the world. it was not as clear as staring into a glass window, but more like a pond full of life and new beginnings.
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❛ I see it all. I feel it all. ❜
the visions of horror and death gloss over gav's eyes. 𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞. sorrow and grief etched into the lines on his face. a never ending ache coating his words before they leave his mouth. joshua noticed his breathing was sharper than before and heavy. he reached over and placed his hand over gav's. it was not to pull him from his memory, it was to give comfort as his mind travelled through it, as joshua imagined it did many times before. when gav's eyes pull away from the darkness, 𝐣𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐮𝐚 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐚𝐳𝐞. words did not rush to the forefront to ease the suffering.
silence had its own way of easing in a way that words could not comprehend. all joshua could offer in words would feel like unfulfilled wishes and promises. 𝐧𝐨 𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭. kupka saw to shatter a group of people wanting to have a better life. he made them live in terror of his name. what felt like home before now felt like a hiding place. joshua tightened his grasp over gav's gloved hand, his eyes never wavering—they softened to say 'i am here for you now and always' no reassurances of a better tomorrow, just a promise to be there, 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩.
𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐓𝐇 𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐏 𝐔𝐏𝐎𝐍 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐒𝐊𝐈𝐍 , 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐀 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐈𝐑 𝐀𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐇𝐎𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐗 𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐒. where once there was cold, now heat began to radiate… it was more than welcome, he could feel his insides stir, twisting with a long forgotten feeling of comfort. his steel gaze lifted from the tome in his hand, meeting the phoenixes — he made no attempt to look welcoming, he felt no need with him any longer. the young man knew the king now well enough to know if he had intended harm, a glance would be the last thing he would lead with. carefully he places the tome back with the others. 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬, 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐬 — 𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞. a chuckle , through his nose — how amusing , he thought to himself. ❛ for now... ❜ he answers, low and evasive. his eyes lingering longer than he would like to admit, there was something alluring about his thirst for knowledge.
❛ and you have come to drink deep the knowledge of waloed, have you not? ❜ his fingers slowly running across a table. he pulls back a seat and settles himself gently into it, gesturing to the seat next to him. ❛ were i, you would have known... come, indulge me. you have been here for many fortnights, we have spent enough time in the company of one another, will you not share what history it is you hope to uncover…? what it is you have been tirelessly searching for this whole time? ❜ the king was not so innocent that he thought time would buy loyalty, but he wanted desperately to know what it was that he pursued. and , if any, the dangers he possessed. the bond they had forged was already a problem in and of itself.
𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐢𝐝 𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐣𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐮𝐚 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐮𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐩𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐭. 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐥𝐞𝐝𝐠𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐞𝐝. 𝐬𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐥𝐲, but surely those walls of mystery had become undone. he now knew what made the king laugh, and even things that brought him a sorrowful melancholy. he had never seen him shed a tear, but his sorrow was so full that it overwhelmed joshua at times. how did no one else feel it rush through them? perhaps they did and left their words unspoken. joshua dared not breach past the walls of that sorrow, that tasted almost like grief. even in their closeness, there was much he had to learn about the king. he had begun to trust him. feeling safe in his presence as he drew closer to his side, accepting the invitation. the king’s questions burrow into his mind, scavenging for information, for the truth. alas, the king would continue to build his walls ever so higher if joshua did not lower his own. it was a risk, but something that stirred inside of joshua told him in the end it would be worth it. he decided to trust that feeling and lean in closer to barnabas as he spoke.
❛ there is a maleficent presence growing in valisthea. i feel it’s breath when it whispers into the benign breeze of the wind. calming to most, but dreadful to myself. ❜ joshua watched the dim candlelight dance inside barnabas’ eyes. fire had never seemed more alluring than it did, reflected inside of the king’s gaze. ever so deep, he could sink inside of them if not careful. ❛ i fear that it’s hold has already stretched too far amongst the twins, that even in knowing of it’s presence, i cannot prevent it from spreading havoc crossed the land. ❜ joshua’s eyes lower to where barnabas’ hand rests on the table. a longing built inside of his chest, but he whisked it away to where it might belong. beneath his duty, as the phoenix, the undying flame—his followers counted on him to stay safe and well… and to uphold their beliefs. this feeling that the king had stirred inside of him was unlike anything he had ever felt, but he must not pursue it. danger lurked at the end of this path… and he did not know if there was a way back once he sought it.
