ALDEHYDES

for i know that yes maybe i am an addict and yes maybe i should maybe maybe just quit drinking forever forever but right now that seems so hard and arduous and i dont want to think about it so instead, i'm thinking about the present. i dont have an urge to drink and might not for a while until we hit the weekend and i have my first trigger. small social situation on friday and the urge to drink before is going to pop up and maybe for that moment im just going to remind myself of how i feel now. which is like the blooming lily vase on the coffee table in the living room. subsisting on water. fragrant. a little droopy. but very alive and light and running on pure subdued cloudy sunshine water and oxygen. that could be me. for a while at least.