I genuinely think a lot of D/s relationships would go so much better if it were more broadly understood that being domestically useful is about facilitating your partner's movements, which may or may not include e.g. housework but is much more frequently about being a good sounding board and being willing to do random fetch quests so whoever's in charge can think. Oftentimes the perfect submissive looks less like a demure and obsequious maid and more like an intern with good vibes.
And it makes sense to me! I have a lot of sympathy! I think it's extremely common for mentally ill folks to go "fuck, I can't do anything" and start fantasizing about this sort of transactional ideal of a relationship where in exchange for praise, patience, and rough sex (or insults and impatience that take the form of rough sex instead of abandonment), they are required to do the dishes and the laundry. And there's this sort of "maybe I just need The Vitamin" mentality to it, of "if it weren't for the crushing weight of the expectations that I Be A Productive Member of Society, the comparatively small weight of domestic service would be workable." And then you go and do it and it turns out you still have to sort out your shit, and also now you have a complex because if the domestic maid thing doesn't work for you you've tied up your self worth in it despite it not necessarily being what your dominant needs.
Yes, there are dominants (often ones with executive dysfunction themselves, or high-powered ones who are busy all the time) who go for the sort of servant you're probably fantasizing about. I've filled that role before, and it can be fine - if it works for you, please, do it! My goal is to give folks ideas, not shut you down.
Tonight the one I serve decided they had the spirit of housekeeping in them, and messaged me "could I tap you to at some point grab us a cold water from QT?" And I was like yeah absolutely. And so they took that as a given, figured out their movements from there, decided "actually for cleaning I want to get big trash bags and I'll grab water while I'm out." I wasn't involved at all in the final gameplan, but my availability was useful because they could assess the situation with the option in mind to tap me in where needed. Of course, it helps that if they ordered me to scrub the place top to bottom I'd do it, but that isn't usually what my life looks like. My life looks like understanding things like how useful it was to be on tap like that and optimizing to be more of that flavor of useful!
Usually, I'm not here to do their dirty work. I'm here to facilitate them in doing things they already want to be doing. My goal as a servant is to help them figure out and actualize their goals by making sure they have the resources they need, not to bring my own damage in by assuming that doing stuff sucks and I'm saving them trouble.
