Fed up with things

i wonder if my goyish friends would understand the sheer dread in the pit of my stomach when i saw this.

how many jews have been killed now?

who else wants me dead?

how will people (who i once thought would be friends, who i marched alongside, who i trusted) justify my death?

when will i need to flee?

i wonder if i should explain it to them. i think they would trust me. (i hope they would trust me.) maybe i could help them not fall into the pit of hatred of jews (are they already in the pit? would they want me dead? my cousin who goes to camp in israel every year? my great aunt who made aliyah?) but i don't want to do that. it's tiring. it's exhausting. and it's even harder when it's not faceless icons on a screen, but people i care about, who i value.

i wonder if i knew any of the dead. if i knew someone who knew any of the dead. i wonder if there are any dead. i wonder if it's just someone saying there should be dead. i wonder when that became a "just". i wonder if i'll need to flee to israel. i wonder when i'll need to flee to israel. i wonder if i will flee to israel. i wonder how they'll go about killing us. i wonder if they'll use all the inventions of modernity, i wonder if there will be parking lots like there were at auschwitz. i wonder if there will be death camps or just pogroms. i wonder if we'll be allowed to call them pogroms, or if we'll be accused of exaggerating, of lying for secret jew purposes.

i wonder what those secret jew purposes would even be. survival? being able to pray in peace? what is our secret nefarious goal, our hidden aim?

Okay, sure, let's have it out. I imagine I'll pretty much piss off everyone with this.

First: the only confidence I have in my understanding of the political situation of the Middle East is that I have no fucking understanding whatsoever of the political situation in the Middle East. Sure, I've read plenty. I have friends of many many stripes. But I'm not a victim of the Dunning-Kruger effect here, folks: I know enough to know how much I don't know, and how much I know is tons.

Second, you say that person is a "zionist." There are three things I find pretty annoying about this as a defense attorney. One is that the term is not defined, and the other is that there is a complete lack of evidence. The third is the implicit assumption that being a "zionist" is enough to wholeheartedly condemn anyone.

Let's tackle these one by one. And, once again, I am neither a scholar of Jewish history nor Middle Eastern history nor anything except American criminal law.

First: definition. There are many possible meanings of zionist that I see people use. One potential meaning of "zionist" seems to be "is Jewish, but fails to disavow Israel as fast and loud as I personally want them to." Sometimes the meaning of "zionist" is just "is Jewish." Sometimes it's "a Jewish person who wishes for a return to a very distant ancestral homeland." Sometimes it's "wholehearted supporter of Israel's war crimes." A lot of pointless arguing, it seems to me, is centered around someone saying they are zionist, i.e., they would like Jewish people to someday have a nice homeland where they don't feel like a strange political chunk in another country, and another person hears that they are zionist, i.e. they enjoy wholesale slaughter of civilians.

Second: No evidence. Self-explanatory. You are an anon. I don't know why I'm supposed to trust your word. I read police reports for a living and I am supposed to be able to trust them, and let me tell you how many lies they contain.

Third: the assumption of condemnation. I literally defend the human rights of sex criminals in court. I defend murderers. What we are talking about, right now, at best, is a human person expressing an opinion, however potentially damaging and offensive (depending on definition of zionism and truth of accusation). Do you think I'm gonna say that Jewish people who express an opinion are inhuman and deserve segregation from the rest of us?

Do you think I'm ever going to stop reaching out my hand to people who use violence? Do you think I'm ever going to lose the hope that someday they will lose the fear that makes them resort to violence?

Finally, now that I've spent some time listing my problems with your case, so what.

Let's use an example closer to home. I'm an American, and I do in fact believe that America is a nation and will continue to be so, and that tearing down all government to give it back to indigenous people (something that is, to be clear, to my understanding, not comparable with any kind of political situation in Israel) is not possible as things stand. And yet nobody's here interrogating me about Donald Trump and his bombing of Iran or whether I support ICE's jackbooted thuggery.

A little further from home? If I met a Russian person, my first ask would not be "Tell me in detail your thoughts on Ukraine and Putin."

And in those two examples, I myself and this hypothetical Russian person are actually members of the country in question that is doing the thing. A Jewish person who is not Israeli isn't even that.

Listen. I think there's a lot to be unpacked about how the insularity of Jewish culture and the separateness of it from the countries where it lives is both in the interest of continuing the Jewish ethnicity and in the interest of the people who want Jewish people exterminated, and how the double-pull of those two interests maintain a tension that otherwise might dissipate. I think there's something real to be analyzed about how modern anti-semitism isn't a recurrence of medieval anti-semitism but a different thing, a sign of fascist thinking.

I think there is a horrific tragedy for everyone involved that the group who was decimated beyond belief in the blackest events in human history now has a very loud and visible nation channeling their survival into rage and violence.

I think that there are lots of Arab nations around Israel that would gladly see every person in it subject to that same rage and violence, and I'm not down with that shit either.

I think the history of who colonized who and when and what pogroms did what and how violence and why are all too fucking complicated to untangle.

I think the only way truly forward for Israel and Palestine is some kind of truth and reconciliation type thing and that Israel as it stands is too scared to see all their atrocities come to light.

I was raised atheist with college professor parents, so you can bet Jewish people in academia were part of my life from an early age. I don't understand antisemitism literally at all. It's completely incomprehensible to me. I also think Arab culture is gorgeous and studied Arabic in college. I don't discount the idea that I have subconscious biases; I've done my best to unpick them, but it's lifelong work.

The whole goddamn clusterfuck is a great example of why violence begets violence begets violence. I reject the idea that One Final Ass-Kicking on anyone's part will solve any one of these problems. The only thing that ends violence is not choosing violence. And that can't happen until enough people in and out of power want the violence to stop. There. Not here. There. It can't be imposed from outside. It has to come from within.

And that's a decision -- I must add -- that I seriously could not have less to do with. White Americans should not be making any of the related decisions.

Here endeth the essay, with one final note.

when israelis leave israel:

Many people also point out hoe similar it is to another famous picture of an antisemitic discovered who's the person he was being amiable with.

I support Jews.

I support Israel existing. I do not require Israel to meet some perfect level of existence I don't put onto any other democratic state. I'm from the USA. My own country is shitting the bed really regularly. I still support its existence. Nuance!

"I support Jews but not Zionists" is Nazi talk.

I have been reading/watching information about Nazis for 30 years, and I know "Those are BAD Jews, but these are GOOD Jews" is Nazi talk. That's literally how they started using the centuries-long antisemitism to fully poison the German people. "Oh, we won't go after the GOOD Jews who have assimilated and served in the Great War." (Guess what they fucking did. Otto Frank was a fourth-generation German secular Jew who served in WWI.)

Antizionism is antisemitism because I have literally never seen a so-called antizionist do sweet fuck all to make Jews feel welcome in the diaspora.