Vague Ideas

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to deny location sharing and turn off personalized ads and reject all non-essential cookies and not set up siri and face ID

asked one of my coworkers how she's doing today and she goes "could be better, could be worse," and another coworker nearby who was eavesdropping chimes in with "could be a lil bit o' alligator curse!" i have no idea what he meant by that but i do know that it has been immediately added to the lexicon.

turns out i am gay

holy shit how’d this alpaca learn how to type

Diversity win! The alpaca is gay!

he was a llama

a llama?! he’s supposed to be dead!

hate when I type :) and this 🙂 fucker appears. Go away you evil soul

you were born in 2006? what are you? a Honda Civic?

can i fucking help you?

“i also choose this guy’s dead wife” was easily the #1 funniest thing to ever be written on the internet.

i do also feel the need to add that phil8248 really liked the joke. he said his wife had always had a dark sense of humour, even about her illness and death, and seeing the joke made him feel like he was laughing with her one last time.

Official Post of Massachusetts

important detail i forgot to add: the swing ghost wanted blood sacrifices from the students. in my defense it was "only a few drops".

''what if you regret it'' then you will expirience regret - a normal and unavoidable part of the human expirience.

the more you twist yourself into a pretzel to avoid regret the harder it will hit when it eventually catches up to you.

(USAmerican trying to imagine a societal environment) Okay, so picture a highway,

inability to correctly perceive 3d objects is in fact far more dangerous when someone is driving a car next to you then when they're like, sending emails to you.

can we focus on the gnome for a second

wait sorry i was not wearing my glasses. that is a cat

these are the people i have to share a highway with