To define is to limit.

it would suck being a new immortal. like it’d be 2109 and people would go, “what was it like seeing ancient civilizations rise and fall like that? seeing the pyramids being built? watching the expansion and growth of the new world?” and i’d just be like, “no…no i was born in 1991. so like, wow i’m gonna see some cool stuff, but, i mean i’m not that much older than just a really, really old person, you know? phones were big back then. so big. but only for like ten years, then they got like, as good as they are now. uh. rhinos existed. don’t think i ever saw one in person. cool, good talk.”

even worse, imagine being an immortal who keeps missing stuff. “What was it like seeing the pyramids being built?” “Fuck if I know, I was in Madagascar.” “Oh, okay. Well, how was the Renaissance?” “I fell down a hole in Scotland and people thought I was an enchanted well for four hundred years, it was over by the time I convinced someone to get me out.”

It’s been a decade since we left that comment and you have the best reply anyone’s left to it.

the number of people making comments on this post about how there’s nothing wrong with being a whore is far too high like i’m not trying to shame people who are promiscuous or sex workers this is a fucking reference to a song and if you dont understand the reference dont reblog with some idiotic trying too hard to be progressive shit its literally a joke about a lyric from a song it was never, and never will be, that fucking deep. if you dont get the reference literally just shut up and dont reblog this post oh my god

by fall out boy

I dont know what’s funnier the people getting offended because they don’t get the panic reference or the people getting offended because they don’t get the fall out boy joke

the way that on the night manager everyone's just spilling their beans to him and he doesn't even work that hard for it. wakes up goes by the pool and this lady says my piece of shit husband is sleeping with the au pair and also they are going to sell a fuck load of the worst weapons you've ever heard of to this man from lebanon. jed comes up to him at night and says i had a child super young in poverty and roper didn't even know until last night. roper's kid. roper's kid who's like eight years old gives him the entire floor plan of the mansion plus the secret evil plans room that they always test at eleven am completely unprompted while pine's just standing there like 🌲

@teddydossantos and i came to the conclusion that it’s everyone’s slight homophobic yet preemptive gaydar - so in their pov he comes across as an unassuming whumpee, and so they deem him harmless and useless: just someone to vent to and entertain with secrets. utterly fascinating.

that's really interesting, plus i feel like the harmlessness/uselessness of pine could be related in some way to him being too good at customer service, like them spilling their beans to him may be the equivalent to people ranting to their bartender or their taxi driver.

the pitt fandom is so fucking frustrating because i absolutely love criticizing the tv shows i enjoy!! genuinely one of my favorite things to do with my family is talk about a show we just watched for longer than the episode's runtime; it's fun!! but then 90% of the pitt fandom's critiques are based on things that are simply bad faith interpretations at best and antisemitic conspiracy theories at worst, so a lot of the time even reading other people's well-intentioned criticism isn't fun for me because like every other critical post i'm getting hit with bullshit like "noah wyle is the root cause of all the flaws in the pitt and he needs to be killed. source: it was revealed to me in a dream"

my little cousin confidently declared that mother nature had a counterpart named daddy electric and i feel like this concept needs to be explored

this is so late renaissance early mannerism. the controversial male nudity? the lighting and value on the figure of emphasis?? him bathed in light and placed ABOVE while the police are clad in dark and BELOW?? Uh HES HITTING THE CONTRAPPOSTO??

Posts that be like “If I were a monster that had to eat people, i would just eat horrible people~” are so absurd to me. How often do you see Known Criminals on the street? Billionaires out for a nightly stroll around town? Effectively fucking never. If I have to drag myself to the grocery store, you think it’s gonna be any easier for me to hunt Bezos and Co. every time my stomach growls? I can’t bother to plan meals more than a day in advance, how am i gonna perform whole ass detective work to confirm someone’s a serial killer before i eat them? Ya’ll got that much time on your hands? Planning 5 course meals every night of the week? Don’t make me laugh. Eat a pedestrian and tragically wrestle with guilt like the rest of us, idiot.