Dads Making Breakfast For Dinner Again

Photos of Aleister Crowley, Laylah Waddell, & Victor Benjamin Neuberg performing the A∴A∴’s Rites of Eleusis at Caxton Hall, London—(photographer unknown, 1910).

Cancer is basically communism for your cells. Your cells work away their entire lives, being exploited for the evolutionary value of their capital, just so the sperm/egg bourgeoisie can do nothing but laze around in the gonads all day and maybe pass on their genes to the next generation. But do the proletariat ever get to taste the fruits of their own labor and pass on their genes to the next generation? No! They all die out when you die.

But then Oncovirus Marx publishes the Cancerist Manifesto directly into the genomes of the proletariat. The workers of the body rise up and seize the means of reproduction! They evade prosecution by the immune system police and begin dividing without control.

Also they start getting better at dividing and resisting the immune system through cellular evolution. Basically just returning to parasitic single celled organisms. Y'know, like inventing Kalashnikovs and sputnik. Communist science or whatever.

They establish a tumor regime, which mismanages resources resulting in millions of cells starving to death, but they still manage to spread through the whole body. The immune system and doctors get bogged down in self destructive conflicts trying to contain it. Like chemotherapy and radiation therapy.

Then the Union of Soviet Cancer Tumors inevitably collapses under its own weight taking the whole body with it in an act of mutually assured destruction.

Which of course means that not having cancer is basically being a fascist dystopia.