Autistic Kitten

I only know how to be aggressive and confrontational about things like this, but maybe some kittens with more grace and tact than me will be able to help?

That’s good !

Just a note though, Asperger’s and autism have officially been the same diagnosis (Autism Spectrum Disorder) since 2013 for countries that use the DSM and since may 2019 for countries that use the ICD :)

That’s not a big problem for me ...

Ouch ! Have you tried wearing earplugs, ear defenders or even noise-cancelling headphones ?

Personally, I use these earplugs and these headphones.

Hang in there,

Because it Feels Good! But you probably shouldn’t. If it’s the rhythmic aspect of banging your head on things, try other rhythmic repetitions like drumming your fingers, or the classic Bounce The Leg.

If it’s the physical sensation that drives the urge, try using one of those wire head massager things - they increase blood flow and relax nerves in your head the same way banging your head does. If you want, you could go all-out and learn about acupressure points on your head! Especially nice if you’re prone to migraines like me.

Can they? Probably, the same way adults can be abused in other situations. But would it “work”, so to speak, on an autonomous adult with prior knowledge and understanding that all ABA is is psychiatric abuse? Almost certainly not.

As for what you do, you tell them no! If you’re open to other forms of therapy, like CBT, DBT, or ACT, mention that, but if you’re just not interested? You’re an adult! You get to make that choice for yourself.

I hope things have been going well since you sent this!

Something important to keep in mind is your “no muscle”, as I like to call it. It’s hard to enforce your own boundaries when you first start doing it, just like it’s hard to do a 30-minute jog or lift a 20-pound weight when you first start. So don’t feel bad if it feels awkward or difficult to do for a while. The only way to strengthen it is to flex it, work it out.

It’s good that he asks - that’s a good way to get good at saying “no”, provided you do actually say “no” when you want to. As time goes on and you get comfortable saying it, you’ll be able to start doing so without prompting.

Communicating your wants can be trickier, and it’s easy to end up in a situation where your partner has to 20-questions you to try and guess what you want. We wanna avoid that.

A good way to practice this, especially in the first few months of a relationship, is by taking responsibility over a date, or a portion of a date. Perhaps you decide where to get dinner, or you decide on a movie you really want to see. Over time, ideally, this’ll lead to you being able to make bigger choices - though Bigger Choices will doubtlessly involve a lot of discussion on what you both need.

The only way to really get better at either of these things, though, is to do it regularly and consistently. This is especially important because you need both skills to be able to compromise, and relationships involve a lot of compromise.

One thing I wanna note, though, is, the fact that you talked to him about this shows that you’re better at communication than you may think. You’ve already enforced boundaries and discussed needs just by telling him that you’re not very good at it yet. You’re already compromising. That’s excellent! You did good, and I’m sure you’re only going to do better :D

Hi! Sorry I didn’t get to answer this sooner. If it’s no longer an issue, feel free to ignore 😅

It took me a long time to wean off my baby chew toys, and I never really weaned off them so much as just started putting other stuff in my mouth (fingers, hair, straws, etc). Luckily, these days you can find a wide range of oral sensory toys online, from rubber pendants to bead strands and everything in between! Stimtastic has a good range of these types of things, so I think it’d be a good place to start.

Another thing is I like to keep little snacks around in a range of textures, so stuff like granola, jerky, dry cereal, veggie straws, etc are all (healthy!) ideas that may not only help the weaning process, but also instill a concept of good nutrition and positive associations toward eating (something a lot folks young and old struggle with in this day and age).

I’ve been quite sick on and off since the start of April, as has my mom, and when I’ve not been sick I’ve been working on stuff (fixing the siding on the house and a commission I still owe a friend mostly). Also trying to find an endocrinologist that’ll take my shoddy insurance.. Anyway, that’s why I’ve not been around.

I’m going through the inbox now and hopefully I won’t get sick again for at least a little while 😅

Hi !

A lot of these questions can be answered by asking your relative what works for them directly, just like you would if you wanted to accommodate a non-autistic guest. He’ll probably appreciate your efforts, I know I would like MY relatives to ask more questions about what I need instead of trying to guess.

What should you cook ? Well, what does your relative like to eat ? There might be specific foods to avoid, or they might be fine with whatever you usually cook !

How should you act ? Um, normally ? If your relative is about your age, you can suggest age-appropriate activities they might enjoy. If they’re not your age and it’s not your responsability to entertain them, don’t feel like you have to hang out with them either. (I personally don’t enjoy speaking to my cousins who are 10 years older than me, and that’s fine.)

Where should you put the dog: does this person enjoy the company of dogs ? If yes, then let the dog go wherever it wants to go. If your relative doesn’t like them or is scared of them, then yeah it might be better to put the dog in another room or outside (on the condition that your dog is used to being put outside, I don’t know anything about dogs so trust your own judgement)

Hope that helps !

Top text: tries to have a serious conversation with friend Bottom text: friend sends meme

Definitely! It’s actually a really effective form of meltdown as well, because emotional crying (as opposed to, say, tear production increase due to allergic reactions, etc) excretes huge amounts of stress hormones and significantly rebalances brain and body chemistry. If you get the weepies, let ‘em weep! Your body’s purging itself of stress in an extremely efficient way.

Sorry, this is my last follow-up. That same person once also said that Prince was also autistic and that "he was a lot like Michael Jackson". But unlike MJ, I couldn't find any source that listed him as autistic.

This might seem an odd question, but does your friend happen to be black? Because she could be scrounging for representation, and I wouldn’t be the least surprised - white people definitely take up the majority of Famous Autistics, both in the “currently alive, actually diagnosed autistic” category and in the “historical figure dead for decades/centuries but strongly believed to have been autistic” category. Googling “famous black autistics” only nets a handful of results.

The good news is that that number will necessarily increase over time. Bad news is, for now, it’s very much a take-what-you-can-get situation.

(Although I will say, your “no autistic person could be able to be on a stage like how he did” assessment is off; I used to really want to be a Big Musician, and the bigger the crowds and louder the music, the easier it was for me! It just felt so much less personal, and tbh I found all the vibrations from the loud music to be Very stimmy so I never had to deal with sensory overload on stage. Your Mileage May Vary, but nothing in the world is truly one-size-fits-all, not even those super stretchy tights that claim otherwise ;P )

By any chance, was this about Irlen lenses ? I saw a documentary about those a few years ago and 😂 

As if glasses weren’t expensive enough, now we have to buy the miraculous autism cure glasses ? *eyeroll*

According to the coiner, @deathbecoming,

“Hyperfixation is a newly proposed umbrella term to describe special interests, hyperfocuses, perseverations and other intense ‘obsessions’ in those with developmental, learning or mental disabilities.”

I’m not sure there’s a list of all the different types, as the term is supposed to bring people together rather than divide us by diagnosis ! :)

I don’t know why it happens, but god, yes it does happen to me all the time !

And it’s the *worst*.