This is where you go to be way too into things, right ?

I think part of the reason that Louis struggles so much to mourn Claudia is that he still has difficulty seeing her as a full person outside of himself. He brings her into his and Lestats chamber of horrors/household to be his daughter/sister and replace the family/community he is alienated from. He has never been fully comfortable with the (many) ways in which she bulked against that role. If he was able to truly see her as the complex person she was he would not keep trying to replace her by recruiting other people (Daniel twice, Regina) to fill her role. To truly mourn her he will have to come to terms with the reality of her existence beyond and outside of him.

It physically pains Ilya not to be able to tell random assholes that Shane's dick is fucking huge.

If we are talking about Shane judging other people's relationships I would like to offer him regularly thinking that Harris could do better.

After he retires from Hockey I feel like Ilya would enjoy going on a bunch of reality tv shows. Put that man on Dancing with the Stars, let him be on Taskmaster.

Its honestly impressive to me that characters continue to be attracted to lestat when his music is so bad...

Okay but value would a non-evil advisor even have to a monarch???

Au where Shane is still a famous Hockey player and Ilya is his contractor who he uses for all of his extensive real estate projects. Everyone in Shane's life is sick of hearing about Shane's fucking contractor because Shane talks about Ilya constantly both to praise him and complain about him. This is great for Ilya's business and for his passion for construction related innuendo.