germany’s boyfriend

My sources for this essay will be at the bottom. 

Symptom 1: finding it hard to understand what others are thinking or feeling.

This symptom is inaccurate. I am excellent at studying the human mind. You cannot lead soldiers if you don’t know where morale is at, or if they are preparing efficiently. 

To understand Italy, you must also understand body language and nonsensical vocalizations. 

Symptom 2: getting very anxious about social situations.

…This symptom is also inaccurate. I do not get anxious about social situations. The thought of interaction does not bring any emotion to me. It is simply inefficient to waste time on things that require multiple people. 

Symptom 3: finding it hard to make friends or preferring to be on your own.

Ja, I suppose this one is accurate. I do not struggle to make friends, I am excellent at making alliances. As I said before, it is not efficient to do things with multiple people.

Symptom 4: seeming blunt, rude or not interested in others without meaning to.

Ja, this one is accurate as well. I think this is just my face however. I cannot comprehend what is so frightening about me. 

Symptom 5: finding it hard to say how you feel.

I do not struggle with this. It is simply inefficient. There is no reason to communicate things like this. I… I could do it if I wanted to

Symptom 6: taking things very literally – for example, you may not understand sarcasm or phrases like "break a leg".

I understand these things. They are simply inefficient. I should not have to ask around or use an encyclopedia to communicate. I strongly dislike this theatrical language. 

Symptom 7: having the same routine every day and getting very anxious if it changes.

Ja, I also have this. It is not because it would make me anxious. It is simply for efficiency. You must have discipline in your life. I don’t have any other feelings on this.

Symptom 8: not understanding social "rules", such as not talking over people.

I understand the rules. I hold rules at the highest standard. However, I will often break these rules. Specifically during the meetings. The other countries will misbehave if you do not discipline them every 15 minutes. 

Symptom 9: avoiding eye contact.

Nein, this is again inaccurate. I prefer maintaining long form eye contact. I have received many complaints about this. 

Symptom 10:  getting too close to other people, or getting very upset if someone touches or gets too close to you.

Ja, I am fairly certain that this is common. Not the close part. I do not think people like to be touched. Japan told me these are called ‘boundaries’. I highly encourage having these boundaries. 

Symptom 11: noticing small details, patterns, smells or sounds that others do not.

Ja, this is an efficient thing to do. I do not understand how this is a sign of autism. 

Symptom 12: having a very keen interest in certain subjects or activities.

Ja, again this is being efficient. I know few people who do not have their passions. I prefer a rigid lifestyle. 

Symptom 13: liking to plan things carefully before doing them.

Ja. This is again, I am being repetitive, but I fear that this is going to turn into some form of miscommunication, being efficient. 

That is the end of my research. I have come to the conclusion that all of this is some form of coincidence. These ‘symptoms’ are just forms of efficiency. I am going to have to talk to England about his “top medical website”. 

Here is my sited source: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/autism/signs/adults/

-L. Beilschmidt