R. 125 XIII the swan

one thing about me is that I am going to cry

beautiful women named extreme heat warning keep blowing up my phone

reverse suicide note where everyone you write on it dies

wait

and we could call it something like... murder note.. or something.. Kill note.. die note... we can workshop it later

random anecdote for father's day: one time during a long car ride my dad asked me, "you're familiar with Murphy's Law, right?" and i was like "isn't that the one about how anything that can go wrong will go wrong?" and he said "yeah, exactly" and i said "why do you ask?" and he went "well, have you heard of Cole's Law?" and i said "no, actually, what's that?" and he said "it's mostly lettuce and carrots with a little dressing mixed in"

Can love bloom on the battlefield?

love when my internet gets bad and im just scrolling the dash looking at the diagonal gradients

And they say brunettes with dimples can’t stabilize the reactor core 😏

Uh Oh

I got a bad feeling about this

You and me both Rainbow Dash

we ask that the defense not say "me when i lie" while the witness testifies

this sucks so bad i need to [remembers suicide jokes only worsen my mental health] put on the best talent show this towns ever seen

(guy stuck in a timeloop) fuckkkkk i got yesterday tomorrow

For serious though this cat looks like a mf chromosome