academia ; books

29.06.24 || watching ghibli movies

Oh how lucky I am to live near flower fields. Sometimes I look at them and I wonder why life can't just feel like that all the time. These days I fight hard to protect my peace, but it comes at the cost of losing friends.

To do today

134 BGB ff

Pfändungspfandrecht

Mock Exam 2

Schemes/ Definitions

Have a good one!

230608

life update: i have a pixie cut, my attendance lately has been atrocious, i saw a post about autistic burnout that made me reconsider my behavioral patterns and i am now looking into getting an asd assessment, i delivered a fatal blow to my scroll and had to start over, the 5 lbs of antique glass beads i ordered on ebay arrived, im working at a vintage clothing store part time, we finally found the class rubber mallet that went missing weeks ago and it was shoved in a cardboard box underneath the break table, my team won pub trivia for the 2nd week in a row, i watched top gun maverick and i can now confidently say i understand why there were murmurings about miles teller amongst bl enthusiasts, i finished my sazabi gunpla, andddddddd……. i’ve decided on fujita from dorohedoro for my next anime convention cosplay? i think that’s about it.

edit: also i got new double conch piercings. they’re cute i promise. believe me. over ear headphones only for the next year ish.

much later, i read rebecca makkai's 'the borrower'. lucy, the protagonist, is a librarian who lives in an apartment attached to a little theatre, such that her tiny window faces the stage and she can watch plays from her bed. it was such a fascinating yet, familiar concept.

as an extremely introverted kid, i was so drawn to those bookshelves labelled 'fantasy & fiction'; the room's quiet, murmuring air; my sea-green coloured library card; the hung-up portraits of authors; and the librarian. the library itself was my wonderland and these were props that affirmed it’s existence. i was also really attached to the art room, but that's a topic for another day. when i look back at those moments, it feels unreal that i could escape into the nook of that library amidst the confusing and unpleasant chaos of growing up. i could crawl inside my head with a book and be as imaginative as i wanted, full of fanciful and larger-than-life ideas, and no one could disturb my high. it brought me so much delight that even if many others read the same book i was reading, no one could imagine it the way i did.

28.05: planning a three month long break; using a mug that's been lying on my shelf unused since forever; making some progress on my reading; creating my portfolio