New Age Recycler

It all started out in the 7th grade

on that very first day when i saw your face

my preteen dream, a sculpture out of clay

that god formed perfectly for me to say

nothing to all year and just stare

at your awesome brown hair from my chair

2 desks behind you cause i’m shy

i sit in the back next to the quiet guy

cause i’m the quiet girl, who draws in the back

i had like two friends in the class

but i remember you, i never said hi

not that i was your type, like i said i’m shy

then you dated that one girl, i forget

she was funny and tall and blonde i guess

then you started talking to me on the internet 

and at that point it was eighth grade, and you guessed

he was in another 4 classes of mine

and this time, we sat near each other… kind of 

the teacher put him there cause he talked a lot

and so him and jah were in the same spot

as i was the table in the corner i chose

to be away from all those middle school hoes

so we became friends and me and mixed tape talked more

we talked every night until like fucking 4 

in the morning and then we’d go to school and not say

much to each other during the day

then one day you were like hey

whats you're music taste 

i said country and you died inside 

then the next day in class you handed me a surprise 

i went home and played the cd you gave to me

peal jam, alice in chains, tool, armor for sleep

and all these rock groups i just fell in love with

my music taste changed i became a rock chick

and it felt so right, country never really did

i found a part of myself that i didn't know existed

fast forward through a bunch of shit like that

becoming friends having class together in fact

we didn’t see each other much of 9th grade at all

then in 10th grade i kept seeing him in the hall

and i hung out with him in between class

i don't even remember how we started that

but we just started talking again

and then we became hella good friends

and i told you i liked you

and you said the same

and then all of a sudden we became

a “thing” a couple we went on a date

we hung out at barnes and nobles for our dates

we played uno for hours on our dates

we hung out at my house once for a date

you kissed me, my first kiss on our date

in the foyer of a book store on a date 

then i got really stupid, i don't know why

for some reason i was like… never mind

and i fucked it all up and just like, said bye

and i spent the rest of the year and high school not saying

a single more thing to him since like that day

and we texted a little, we’ve talked since then

but i still look back and regret

how i handled things, and the friendship lost 

but i know we cool now, i remember we talked

senior year of high school you came and visited 

this ones for all the loners around

the stoners that gotta smoke all of their pound

to their own face rollin blunts like 8

at a time just to try and get higher than high

cause you can, you don't have to fucking share

aint got nobody round who’d even fucking care

if you torch the whole bowl or smoke all the keif

cause thats your shit you aint never accused of being a thief 

and unless i’m smoking with fucking chong and fuckin cheech

im gonna roll this 9th blunt and just hold it in my teeth

im gonna roll a 10th and make it really fat

then smoke both of them, right back to back 

fucking i don't give a fuck if nobodies around

i’m that loner stoner kush queen pound for pound

i dont fuck with no ounces i smoke my own weight

better come with your own stash or you aint smoking today 

i never learned to fucking share that a concept i aint got 

no knowledge of bitch so throw down or take off 

oops i’m sorry its just because i smoke all the time

i mean by myself, i know you smoke, and so do i

but i always solo sesh, smoke the bowl fucking dry

i’m so used to rolling spliffs with only me in mind

i don't have anyone else to ever think about

and thats okay with me most of the time

 no doubt

but sometimes i kinda want that person around

that i could roll a blunt for, i guess i’d share my pound

my freshly cut ounce, just for two

but nobody’s claimed the vague word “you”

in my life that lyrics can be written about

i just usually spit all of my thoughts out 

it comes to the point in my rhyme now

where i fucking rap about rapping and try to make it rhyme somehow

i wish i had a blunt for every time writers block

hit me in the face with its fucking huge cock

its like hey look at me I'm the thing you haven’t done

in 500 days maybe you should pick me up

and you’re all like fuck man i hate that shit

i wanna keep writing i don't want to quit

and writers blocks cock is like bitch suck this 

and you’re all like fuck you man and your fucking dick

i just want a fucking spliff for every time i get smacked 

by that asshole and his fucking writers block nut sack

id probably be higher than carl sagan was

kicking it on venus burning up into dust

but that’d be cool with little old me

live alone die alone thats my motto see

if anyone ever gets a chance to be

an astronaut for a day, you should pick me

i wanna get higher any body ever fucking was 

you know i’m a jealous person 

but i’m also one of the most down to earth understanding no drama girls out there, and as long as a guy is open an honest about his relationships with other girls i.e. just being friends, saying they hook up, or hooked up like i don't give a fuck. it’s when they start sneaking around and hiding shit thats when it starts looking bad. Its like dude girls deserve some fucking respect. If you’re sticking your dick in us, and also other things I wanna know what those other things are; from a jar of peanut butter to some crusty ass hoe. It’s god damn polite to me for you to do. And also guys are terrible liars and it just sucks when anyone lies to you. 

It’s morning on new years eve and I just feel like I need to update this blog on my entire miles situation

So long story short basically him and lexi are living together and they lied to me for a areally really long time and I just wanted to see miles when he came home for christmas and guess what, I don’t have to worry because he is exactly the same as he always is. His love interest is not me anymore because he’s dating the one best girl friend I’ve made in a while who actually helped me get over when me and miles originally broke up because he wanted to go fool around before he left for alaska. But then originally claimed that he just wanted time alone on when we were driving home from Jacks house on January 10th last year and he began a conversation with “I want to go on a break” minutes after I caught him texting another girl (who was actually my 30 year old ex-coworker who I always had terrible feelings about). I’ve always had terrible feelings about lexi too. I feel like I knew. And Carpet, the girl he told I love you to.

but anyway after he said “lets go on a break” and he starts fucking my excoworker, then comes back to me for a bit because he realizes how fat and gross she is. Then 2 months later i found out he’s been seeing another girl but never like “re broke up” with me, then I get an std from the girl he’s seeing. I think he stops seeing her and we’ve been fucking like the entire time we broke up because we still hang out because i want to stay friends but he just can’t control his cock so we continue relationship and then i found out that he like is saying i love you to this girl and i found her bra in his room and her wallet and all this other stuff of hers slowly showing up at his house when we hung out. So at this point like 6 months of sheer idiocrity has gone by with me dealing with just trying to be friends with someone who doesn’t lie all the fucking time. Because I love him, because we were so close for so long I can’t just like not care about people and I know what he needs as his friend, like I want to be there and help him. And I really like the advice he gives me. It’s very blunt and straight forward, i feel like I can be productive and break away from what my family of scared little mice thinks. 

So anyway he like actually does go and break up with this girl right after my birthday and then cams over and is like I feel so much better, like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders!! He went back later with lexi to get his stuff and after they left that time he said “i’m gonna go fuck audrey” and so yeah I thought we were like still together and all that shit, Idk. But we were basically back to normal friends with benefits but lexi started hanging around a lot more, but she was cool with me and miles and i liked having a friend we both liked instead of always miles guy friends or just me and miles cause I didn’t have any friends that miles could stand. But I just noticed certain things about them getting along…. and long story short after a summer of speculating and them denying it, miles and her apparently fucked before miles even went to alaska, but they both promised they’d never do anything to hurt me, they’ve thought about it, but they couldn’t ever do that to you blah blah blah so basically she jumped on the first guy who was nice to her after her asshole boyfriend broke up with her right around when miles broke up with me (WHICH IS HOW ME AND HER BECAME SUCH GOOD FRIENDS) spent all summer hanging out all that jazz and no i wouldn’t trade a second of it, but looking back it makes me mad. I thought she was cool, someone i could trust and be friends with for a while but she just like jumps on the next guy who’s remotely nice to her after billy broke up with her and obviously saw, and made comments about how nice miles is when you get to know him and how she saw him take care of me when we all went to the music festival and how she didn’t know he had a soft side and all this bullshit that I know because me and him have been best friends for more than 3 years and she’s like super attached to him now. 

So he moves up there in september after a whole summer of tom foolery, and then like a couple weeks later when i’m still super depressed because I just like lost my best friend. My other friend decides to move to texas, and then Lexi decides to move to Alaska to her uncles farm “but not to follow miles” hah. But yeah she tells me that she isn’t going to follow him but it’s the only option she has of getting out of issaquah immediately. So she does that and goes up there and they hang ut and like no less than a week after she’s up there they hang out and then she tells me  that she likes him like a week after hallween and how she never planned on it and how it was so nice and he was so nice  and oh my god shes so dumb and drunk and everything that she’s ever told me since she move,d and probably before has been a lie. I saw so many naked pics on her phone and who wthe fuck was she sending those to like seriously? let alone before hand they totally fucked behind my back and they never even told me that for a long long time. So then miles becomes harder to get a hold of and i finding out they hang out like all the time. Then he calls me one time and lexi is with him and i just like hear her from over the phone go “I MISS YOU” and it’s like…. are you serious right now. So all this bullshit continues like this like me finding random shit out and it just bothering me i hate the idea of them together i  fucking predicted this shit i knew it was going to happen and i couldn’t stop it and it’s like she just ruined every good memory from over the summer with my jealousy and her stupid bitchyness. I hope she realizes one day what she did to her friend. Because their relationship isn’t even good. Miles has been texting me the entire time they’ve been together and mosty all he says to me and asks me is to send him booty pics and we talk about fucking all the time and flirt over text and he tells me to only wear skirts when he comes home for chirstmas and up until like a week before he leaves this is certain. Then lexi calls me the monday before he is supposed to come home and is like please talk to me (i’ve been ignoring her calls for like since october) I never do that either. I never hold grudges but i can not even think about talking to her with out getting worked up. So she calls me asks me how life is then says yeah i’m gonna move in with miles and i’m like OKAY miles hasn’t even told me anything about this. And then she’s like and he asked me to be his girlfriend so I’m trying to be a good friend and tell you the truth i don’t want to hurt you. And its like bitch… are you serious its wayyyy took fucking late for that but thanks for being honest and he hang up the phone and i go hang out with jack and he says that they’ve been living together the whole time and then i talk to miles and miles finally tells me the truth and says that they had sex before he left and they like each other and she just finished moving in and all that stuff. Then he comes home and we fuck. We fucked so good. It was fucking awesome and the first thing out of his mouth “this never happened” and i’m like wait you’ve been like asking me to fucking choke on your cock all week after the argument and months prior and now the second you’re done… like he grabbed me by the way…. it just didn’t happen? like are you serious? So then i find out he promised her he wouldn’t sleep with me when he came home which is just so funny because now the tables have turned and i’m the hot friend who isn’t the annoying girlfriend because all he does is complain about her and all she does is text him and be like “why didn’t you take me to mcdonalds”  and “come hang out and meet my friends we’re all21 and you are not have fun hanging out with us” but so miles comes home and before all of those texts and bullshit lexi wasn’t gonna come home for xmas so miles and i have been hanging out 3 days straight which was so nice i missed my best friend. And then we fell asleep cuddling on the couch and at 5:30 in the morning we woke up and he’s like do you want to just sleep over and i’m like sure let me just go move my car and lets have a smoke so we go outside and lexi is in her sisters car home from alaska in miles driveway to surprise him…

so then the rest of the time he’s been home i’ve been battling to hang out with him and just trying to make him understand that like he’s just not even being a good friend. he didn’t even get me a christmas present. Like… and he can’t even tell the girlfriend he complains about when I ask him about it to fuck off and let him hang out with his friends. Its like watching a trapped little puppy i see it in his eyes its like sad… he can’t be himself because she’s so sensitive. He’s said it himself. So that’s the worst part about this is that now they live together in the most depressing state in the world and i’m just really scared she’s going to distract him from something better. He has so much potential i don’t want to see him do the same thing his dad did. I love being single. And I can’t believe he doesn’t feel the way I do. I feel amazing. I feel like i’m on top of the world and I don’t know why. I haven’t felt this good in so long, and its nice. I wish miles could enjoy it with me, like just as awesome friends, but he gets so angry about stuff. Sometimes even at me for being happy and friends aren’t supposed to do that. You’re supposed to support each other, and even though i hate lexi oh m ygod the fact that i still talk to miles is ridiculous  but i care about him so i can’t not check in on him. I don’t know I just finally feel like why did i feel like that relationship was so important. I wasn’t treated very nicely over this entire past year and this next yer in 2015… well i’m going to make it mine. I’m actually going to this year. I’m done smoking weed all the time i’m, done being walked all over. i’m done being a teenager and a little girl. i’m a fucking badass and i’m going to another country for 3 months in 5 days and holy shit i might cry.

because every time i'm with a guy they're like "damn, i did not expect that." or like "holy shit you're something else" and I don't want to be selfish and not share my body

or if karma will be a bitch on her side

or of karma's getting me back for not leaving him sooner

can you get up for a second

turn around

i'm cool as shit

you don't care about something

i don't even know what that is 

i couldn't give a shit

cause ignorance is bliss

when i'm in my own world

i'm the coolest most badass girl

I don't give a care about fucking reality

i just pretend everyone around wants to hit on me 

and i do't know why, it sounds self absorbed

but I like pretend attention cause I'm a pretend whore

for shore 

who doesn't like looks 

from other people telling you that you look good

god damn, I just want to be fine 

but i'm not i'm barely over 4'9 and I smoke about a dime 

a day

I push people away 

they never even see my face 

look down below and you'll see my glazed 

over eyes that stare into space G 

everyone's a fucking idiot, 

but me

but that's just how I see 

from my own perspecteeves 

you could just call me an angry girl who's stubborn and alone

or you could be my best friend and talk to me on the phone

i don't care what you do all I care about is me

because I'm the only one who I can trust, I believe 

I don't lie to myself and if I do it doesn't matter

i could be afraid to climb a wobbly ass ladder 

and my self would call me a pussy for saying no

i'd just roll myself a blunt and enjoy the show

of my friends climbing up and falling on their ass 

now who's the short one who's walking in the tall grass

ya'll are stuck inside

idiots breaking all ya legs

while i'm out pool side, my boyfriend is a keg 

all to myself just drinking and smoking all day

that's how I fucking roll when it's going my way

i don't care if it's a dream or if its real okay 

look this way

I got a lot of something

and it's something to say 

I said hey whats that thing below your lip

just kidding baby face, i know that little strip

of hair right there so I take it all back 

your 90% skin with 10% patch

Cool a while ago, about 7 years

either shave it all off or grow a fucking beard 

goatees 

more like cock sucking satan in hell

goatees 

suck off satans cock might as well 

Goatees 

catches the cream off his bizmark of death 

goatees 

why did you shave off all the rest 

hi mister baby face 

wanna come in 

need a little more hair 

on that chinny chin chin 

you're a power house boss pretty big deal 

but you should be hairless in your field 

You ate a doughnut before that big meeting 

but now everyone sees you like the pink frosting

and you think your facial hair says you don't give a fuck

but it shows everyone knows you take it in the butt 

goatees 

more like cock sucking satan in hell

goatees 

all the way down to his bells 

Goatees 

catches the cream off his bizmark of death 

goatees 

why'd you shave off all the rest 

Dear mister baby face

this is your brain

tell me…. are you going insane 

It was like one day, walking in a crowd 

seeing all these faces, so you thought aloud 

I want facial hair but nothing too weird 

so I think I'll grow a tiny half assed sort of beard 

yeah that's probably how it went down back then

now your sucking satan off and he's going for round ten 

goatees 

more like cock sucking satan in hell

goatees 

all the way down to his bells 

Goatees 

catches the cream off his bizmark of death 

goatees 

  Though she is small and cute, as we now know she has many facets and traits about her, which show her strength and dedication to making the world a better place. This is why her spirit animal is a Humming Bird. She once read a story about a humming bird in a forest fire that tried to put the flames out with its tiny mouth full of water, and even though he was small, the other animals saw him helping and not running, and turned around to help him. Juri wants to change the world, and this story showed her that even the smallest of actions could make the biggest differences. 

and he never ever has a flacid 

personality

he’s always up for fun

you know that he’s the number fucking one

and i’m never with out him, he’s always by my side

but i aint no wifey bitch, i don’t need no man in my life

all i need is this weed rolled up between my teeth

puffing walking down the street middle fingers out of reach

all you little kiddies can not handle me 

you know i’m the princess I am the godess G

Ji to the Gad you don’t be stopping this

i blow my fog in your face make your heart start to race

i’ll rob you blind then blow your mind make you cum three times and roll me up a dime on command with my hand

as i sit here and spit all my fucking rhymes man

cause I am the little one but you will hear me roar

i’ll be that fucking bitch thaty ou all adore

you wont know why

you wont know how

but i’ll make you fucking cry

if I die 10 years from now 

and holy fucking shit you know I rap real good

i’m not from the hood nor do i park in the hood

i’m a little white girl, sometimes i hear a hood

but then i look like a character from a story book

holy shit i know rappers that you don’t

holy shit you know rappers that i dont

holy shit all these lines are fucking shit but i dont care

i can say wahtever i want and i’ll still end up on the air

but only for donating to kexp, or trying to get a song to play for my FB

oops i mean BF but all these abbreviations and lables don’t mean shit

cause when texting dies and everyones connected

by their brains like we’re all infected by a robotic disease then we wont say these stupid things, or anything at all

we’ll be silent ass robots and here’s the call

to throw your fucking phone on the mother fucking ground

I HATE YOU SIRI YOU FUCKING CLOWN

everyones a fucking drone with their fucking iphones

throw your galaxy on the ground and and fuck your android 

man i don’t even care you better put that shit away when i am there

or here, or anywhere if I dont see a lighter at one of my shows

and all i see are fucking iphones

i wont fucking go on until you all put them away

and you stare into my face as i tell you waht i say because

this is the essence of rap music it’s putting words to a beat and making it sick and making you move your mother fucking feet and swearing too much because you don’t give a fuck its fun your parents hate it but that’s what makes it sweet you can’t stop once you get your speed and the gears don’t stop spinning i just keep on spitting you know that i never diss another brother around i just make sure they know i’m the best in town and i never have to diss another sister because my boos are my bitches so i don’t give a fuck if their raps are better or their raps are worse because we all have our strengths and we all hit the dirt sometimes i’m better usually on the spot i can make shit up but if i smoke too much pot i actually flat line like a heart that has died i don’t know what to fucking say because my brain is in a daze this should be a lesson to all of you kids smoking weed and listening to these raps and rhymes, and sitting not doing your homework well that’s okay, schools kinda lame anyway but don’t try to be something your not, and don’t smoke too much pot. 

i don’t even know what the fuck I just wrote

i just took a dab and i feel like a float

filled with ice cream like a sundae

but melted over onto monday

i’m high as fuck, if you couldn’t tell

mother fucking pass me a joint