Titched in the Head™️

Hi, I’m that one person that the friend group survived. You know, the clingy, zero-boundaries one.

I used to be, anyways. And no, I didn’t get a revenge bod or a hot boytoy in Syracuse, all the stuff you see in movies.

Instead, I graduated, gained weight, stayed single (not for lack of trying), and work a part time job in the middle of nowhere. Super glamorous.

But I’m learning how to live with myself, past and present. How to set boundaries, to give people the benefit of the doubt. How to take care of my body, regardless of shape. How to embrace the loneliness I feared for so long. I’m learning to nurture the friendships I still have, now aware of what they’ve have to put up with over the years.

I’m also reaping the consequences of my behaviors. I don’t get invited to parties or weddings, no one reaches out to see how I am. There are no people excited to make a trip to see me, even though I’ve moved thousands of miles away.

It really hurts.

Looking back, it was stupid of me to believe that I could invest enough in someone’s life without getting close enough to get hurt. True friendship isn’t always easy or Insta-worthy. Your friends will make mistakes, as will you. But if you’re not close enough to see them, then you might be too removed.

Yes, I still have those anxiety-steeped thoughts. But now I don’t act on them.

I also made a little song out of this phrase and sang it while I was getting ready to shower. Love finally being able to allow myself to be authentically cringe

Also Brain: “we need food to not be depressed, Stomach can you handle doing your job this one time please?”

Stomach: “aw hell naw stfu biotch”